Where have I been? Lying in weight for Ellen to reveal herself. My trap isn't working for sh!t, but that's my business. Thanks for those of you eternal springers, especially if you've been posting updates in the comments. It's not that I haven't been reading Ellen, it's just a bit of a girlcott.
I interrupt my protest to bring you the below news because the INVESTEMENT BANKER may be heard from again. Also a bit concerned that food from 2011 is still to be found in Ellen's residence...
I promi'sed to post about the sit-down with Lynn, and here we go.
I actually don't follow Ellen's reasoning at all (a first, I know!) If ultimately she plans to detach from Lynn's marriage and weight dilemmas, and accepts with serenity about the worst possible findings from this conversation, then why did she bother initiating it at all? "Oh ok--you're just having a lot of sex now and hoping he prefers your moves and cooking over other women's over the long term, even as you're gaining weight by the day? I should probably focus on myself right now anyway." Who is porky and over 30?
Yes, I already pointed out that Ellen might as well have staged this dialogue with herself. I was about to nominate a thin, securely married woman from this narrative as a better person to issue Lynn's warning, but come to think of it we do not have such a person. Lorrie/Laurie, in DC, is divorced, and we all know what Ed's "working late" means for the pregnant Rosa.
Don't you all just have the patience of saint's!!!! After an unannounced multi-week hiatus, ELLENWatch is risen. I can make no excuses. (Though, for all you know, I was just waiting to see when Anonymous would finally break down and post a long backlog for me!) For the record, I did not spend the time in bed with Gonzalo, Alan, or Harold. Any other guesses, though?
Looks to me like the critical updates are: 1) Willem is tired of the runaround and rescinded his offer to marry Ellen after she decided not to go to Belgum to meet his fam; 2) Ellen still needs to loose some waight; 3) Ed is even more reasonably suspect as cheating on Rosa. Extra long hours at work? Mmmmhmmmm.
I'll try to do better, but I know better than to over-promise. Who knows what else I may have in this little life of mine?Thank's again for baring with me, though.
Now that Ellen finally shared her definitive, complete date of birth with us, there's no reason not to repeat her age left and right now! Note also that we're talking about "Prince Willem." One European gent is being conflated with another--though we only have one marriage offer and, I believe, one full head of hair to match!
EXPERRIME'NT!!! I am leaveing out Ellen post's that I missed! Can you possibly handel it, readers? I know just about everyone who is real and can walk through the world will forgive me, but I have some extremely persnickety phantom readers (all employed at S&S--huge firm that it is). For those of you who do feel this might bring about the world's end, please post either neglected material or editorial's on same in the COMENTS! Yay!!!
As to the text at hand: gross but predictable that a judge is hitting on Ellen. More surprising that she thinks he's a prospect for Myrna--how so? If anything, Myrna has more leverage on the dating scene, and unlike Ellen she has nothing to gain career-wise by cozying up on the bench.
Thank's, Nora. Nora was hitting it pretty hard on ELLENWatch today as well.
Are we actually thinking about meeting Harold at Crumb's this weekend? Baked goods with this guy were never a good idea before! And I thought he'd been disqualified, as they say, six ways from Sunday anyhow. Young, bald, unemployed, heedless, related to her boss...I'd say you were right the first (and third) times, Ellen. There must be other men in New York. Indeed I think you know a few of them, some offering to whisk you away to distant land's!
Here was Ellen's response to the April Fool's post asking what kinds of articels Corporette readers would like to see. (She may not have noticed that DAD was invited to join a roundtable on Living One's Life Correctly--reading comprehension has never been one of Ellen's strengths.) I'd actually love to see such a thread too, however! "Manageing Your Men: From Home to Office."
For anyone who missed it, and while we're talking about tax probelems, here is the background on why Ellen's firm owes so much. No surprise that she's expected to take the fall now, and Dad is of course full of tough talk now that his consulting fees are locked down and he's safe from all other blowback. My outlook on this prospect for a raise is dim at best, too--though it seem's Ellen earnestly wonders whether keeping the clotheing allowance is more important anyway.
For the first time, we have a projection for Ellen's look aged a bit: Tory Burch. One could obviously do much worse! But again: RICH HUSBAND(S). If her cheekbones and wind-kissed blond are so great, why can't Ellen bag the goods too?
Scroll down for another inexplicable apostrophe (we were already seeing po'st, but here we have a word containing no S at all). Also, who is to blame for Frank's leering? Mrs. Frank, duh. Maybe she should get pregnant like Margie (and Lynn? ehhh?????) Unless she's too old, in which case of course the oogleing will continue.
Was this ice cream a la mode? No wonder Ellen is worried about tuchus expansion--she was warned last time by a well-wisher that no, such a dessert would absolutely not be "ok," but now ELLENWatcher Tina is chimeing in saying whatever.
Desappointing, obviously, that no future husband turned up at the museum. You'd think that with Myrna accompanying, they'd at least get a few prospects? Anyway, I don't think we should be so quick to write off the planeatarium. Dark, enclosed spaces allowing one to gaze up wistfully have set the scene for many a marriage proposal!
Grrreat, Ellen and Mason are the web design team at Manageing & MANAGEING. Where are the ooogleing, stinky TECK guy's? This sounds like a job that would at least keep them in their own office's.
"Restrunt" is one of the more consistent misspellings--I cannot remember any other variation's and I don't think she's ever put it correctly.
Not much else to see here, I'm afraid: Myrna's friend who does food prep is the one who grabbed her on a recent attempted date, if folks recall, and Mason and Lynn are still getting the tsk-tsk. Ellen did refrain from mentioning Lynn's weight gain this time, however. It's too early for baby shower invitations, but maybe some other clues are popping up around the office?
I like this one. But my feedback would have been a little different: ice cream with ice cream is very nourishing to the tuchus--more than ok. She seems to really be asking whether it's ok for your father, your fitbit, your marriage prospects, your skirt suit etc.
Here's the update on what further sacreifeces Ellen and her colleagues have to make to help meet the near $65k now owed by the firm in unpaid taxe's. I doubt MP will be doing anything differently whatsoever--indeed I foresee some time off for him since he insists a son is on the way. Meanwhile, Ellen's birthday being in the last week of March is, I am pretty sure, consistent with what we've heard in years past. Can we get a specific date, love?
I've been very open about ELLENWatch's birthday: March 25, 2012. I'm turning two years old, super soon!
Yet again, Harold is ba-ack. I don't know what is going to make this early-twenties baldie lose interest for good, but recall that he is the manageing partner's nephew and thus snubbing him outright could bring professional complication's. As for the several day's worth of food allegedly lodged in his beard, this is a pattern of molding facial hair present elsewhere in his family. Not much good news here I'm afraid.
Gigantic news item here: Ellen has PROVIDED HER AGE AS A NUMERIC FIGURE!!! I swear, maybe once a year I feel like I'm makeing progress in my ELLENWatching capacity.
32 today, turning 33 by the end of the month. And I will hold her to the consequent chronology forever.
Meanwhile, for anyone not clicking through, she's recommending a fringe bikini in light mint for anyone who is abel to squeeze into it. Interesting that she doesn't point out how much either she or Rosa looks like the (super)model, Rosie Huntington-Whitely. I would also like to know how she decided on this particular color, one of several options.
Interesting how Ellen vacillates between grandiose over-self-estimation and frank/sad assessments like this one below. It's either all about how beautiful and successful she is, or else a perfect storm of manipulation, rejection, and overgrown butt. In some respects she does resemble a real person, no denying it. No surprise that the weight change has reversed course and we are once again left to worry about bathing suit feasibility.
I'm relieved to see that she appears not to be forgetting her birthday this year (granted, I've posted several reminders). We have about two weeks to get this out of the way, friend! Make sure it doesn't turn into April.
Confirming that Grandma Trudy is a widow. We've never heard what happened to Leyeh's husband, but I assume the same for her. Nothing more to add other than this is one more exampel of the increasing complacence with which Ellen treats her Dad's financial hegemony in her life.
Karin