ELLENWatch

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

The METRO is DC’s subway.

Welcome to the CAST of Characters, Roberta! I suppose it doesn't speak well of you that you take recommendations from Jim, but at any rate you will soon understand that nobody at Manageing & MANAGEING performs his or her job to an acceptable standard. If you, too, are a margineal professional then you'll fit right in!

Editor's note: Roberta is the first and only woman senior to Ellen that we've ever encountered. It's as if the Grimms Fairy Tales problem of all the heroine's mothers being dead is finally being renegotiated for our own yarn. Again, complex undertones of feminism and anti-feminism in the Ellen canon...

Ellen :

10/03/2012 at 10:12 am

When I lived in DC, there was a farmer’s market near RFK steadium in the FALL that I took the METRO to. The METRO is DC’s subway.

You can get good thing’s there in that neiborhood and it is NOT too expensive. I like the KALE! Very good for digestion!

Anyway, Jim refered a NEW CLEINT to us. Yay!

There is this woman, ROBERTA, who head’s up the legal group for their big NY food chain and she has alot of unresolved WC cases her outside council has NOT handeled.

I spoke with her on the telephone today, and told her I do great VOLUME litiegation, and I know the judge’s and that and I could clear the backlog at my normal hourly rate.

Roberta told me she has over 100 OPEN case’s so she want’s a discount on my hourley, and I told her I would talk to the manageing partner about some sort of QUANTITY discount. I hope the manageing partner will go along with me on this b/c it means alot of hours, but at a DISCOUNTED rate.

For all the work I do, I should be a partner! FOOEY!

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

take 3 VERY DEEP breathes and say FOOEY

I might be inclined to do this, but for me FOOEYing and breathing deeply are hard to combine. At any rate, here we have a more new-age exploration of JSFAMO, and I suspect I'm not the only one who was glad to learn how the original herself makes piece. May we all achieve Ellen's state of enlightenment, mindfulness and well-being.

Ellen :

10/02/2012 at 4:35 pm

I am sorry you are feeling stresssed. Whenever it happens to me I take 3 VERY DEEP breathes and say FOOEY and I then most of the time forget why I was thinkeing stressey thing’s to begin with. My father who is very smart told me about this and he used this tekneeque in GRADUEATE school at MIT when he was proveing some thesis to his professors.

Frank told me I billed 84 valid hours last week on do dileigience!! Yay! And that does NOT INCLUDE travel home or the billebackes, which are NOT uplifted. If I get over 240 hours in any month, the Manageing partner gives me $200 CASH. I did NOT make it last month B/c I could not bill for my reserch

[fave REECENT coments]

I don't want to be accused of hoarding all the fun (or intrigue) to myself, so here I am keeping you all apprised of the anonymous comments with which I continue to be blessed. In fact, these two showed up in rapid succession, and unlike many other recent ones I am not sure I have the Sunshine Girls to thank.

First, this in response to my post about whether Ellen is a shill for Lord & Taylor:
This is fintastic! I am not sure about where KarenPadi got her information, but I am glad Ellenwatch Straightened her out!

The unconventional approach to capital letters here is familiar enough, and I tried not to get too excited wondering why this commenter might be defensive and huffy about karenpadi's speculation...as if it were a personal affront...But what does give me pause is "fintastic." This word, spelled the same way, appeared in what I believe was the first or second comment I ever received on ELLENWatch (see here). If this poster is, um, I don't quite dare to say it...does that mean the earlier one was too?

Secondly.
This woman must really be pretty. Otherwise, who would put up with her antics?

I really wouldn't describe Ellen's life and times as consisting in much, or any, "antics." She rarely reports doing anything for fun, and all joking and lightheartedness that we do hear of are apparently at her expense. At any rate, the post on which this comment appeared demonstrated all business in the courtroom. So what do you mean, Anonymous? You can't be referring to the trolling involved in being Ellen, because then you'd be admitting that prettiness (and even femaleness) can't be inferred at all about whomever is behind this years-long COMENTING career.

No, I'm inclined that this comment follows in the school of

Ellen is Cool. She has to be very cute for MP to put up with her. And this website does a great job of keeping us current with her antics! I don't think Ellen would be so coddled (20% clothing rebate) and trips with the MP unless she was gorgeous

I loved--and blogged--this comment at the time, but it was before the Sunshine Girls had made themselves known. Ladies, was this you? If so, I admire your consistency, right down to the phrasing, but if not I kinda hope I may have rated another visit from B. McLeod. His expertise is valued here as nowhere else, and I will never forget what an honor it was to be called Ellen's "high carnival" on the ABA site. Something tells me, nonetheless, that McLeod is too much the gentleman/professional to be remarking on Ellen's attractiveness, at least on a public forum. So perhaps we have a third--or three thousandth--player here?

Your guess is as good as mine, ELLENWatchers.

Freinds on this websight,

YOUR'S TRUELEY

mabye next weekend

The vague commitment to help David decorate is dragging out to actually become more burdensome. Next weekend, we already have MP's anniversary party to deal with--can we really balance Harold and David within the same 48 hours?
Interesting that public transportation now appears to have become the more appealing option, with taxis being the more malodorous. In the past Ellen has felt the opposite.
Finally, living near Bloomie's: consistent with this provisional map of Ellen's home neighborhood, I assume she's referring to the location at 59th and Lexington. More grist for those of you who like a leetle bit of adrenaline with your shopping experience! Look out for the scrunchie!

Ellen :

10/02/2012 at 9:48 am

I totaly LOVE this skirt, but I live to close to Bloomie’s that if I start going there, I will need another raise!
My dad gave David my number and he called me. He wanted me to help him decoreate his apartement this weekend, but I told him I already had to do something (with the manageing partner). So he said mabye next weekend, and I said mabye. He lives in Brooklyn near the Barcleay’s Center. Is that OK to go to by Subway? I hope so, b/c I do NOT want to get in for another long smelly cab ride. FOOEY!

Monday, October 1, 2012

The counsel laffed at me

The latest on Ellen's court press. Unsure whether we're now finding out that MP and the presiding judge from Jim & Co. matters actually attended Fordham for law school together, or if we're just being reminded that they both went there. At any rate, I thought this contributed to their rivalry rather than being a bond between them--? Oogleing Ellen's legs may also be at issue regardless.

Northern Cali freind's, I have updated the LORD & Taylor's post to cover your responses.

Ellen :

10/01/2012 at 2:11 pm

My favorite’s are NINE WEST’s. In fact, I wear them to court, and they are good b/c I have to stand up alot and having comforeteable closed toe’s are the best. Even more in the winter b/c it is COLD in NYC and I do NOT want to get wet.

One of my case’s was CONTINUED, b/c the plainetiff had COUNSEL with him and he is known in the industry as tough. The manageing partner said he would second chair me with him b/c the case will be going to trial unless they acept our setttelment offer. We asked the CLEINT how much they would be willing to pay to settel, but the client said only $3000. The counsel laffed at me and said, we will see YOU in court. Fortuneatealy the case is in front of the manageing partners’ law school pal, and he like’s me, so I figure I have a good chance at a pretrial to get the judge to get the guy to settel, not for $3000, but mabye for $5000. If I can get it done for $5000, the cleint will be very happy b/c I told the manageing partner I thought I would not settel for less than $10000 if I was the plaeintiff.

So that case I have to prepare for in 2 week’s! Fooey. I like it when they do NOT show up and I WIN automaeticeally! YAY!

alredy won my first 6 motion’s

Ellen perhaps seeks to redeem herself after complaints of racial insensitivity last month. As for court, it sound's like she's on a roll.

Ellen :

10/01/2012 at 10:27 am

I agree this is terible. FOOEY on her for saying that.

I am at calender call so I can NOT write alot. But I alredy won my first 6 motion’s. YAY!!!! . The judge is stareing at me, but that is OK b/c I win all my motion’s with him. I will be a judge someday the manageing partner say’s! Yay!

[Reader Proposition: LORD & Taylor's]

Wikipedia says they did actually shoot a few scenes
on location in SF. Though maybe not this one...

After much ado about Ellen, once again, toying with the idea of flying out west for an SF Bay Corporette meetup, said meetup has taken place. And consistent with the regrets she posted in advance, Ellen did not attend. I was delighted to learn, however, that she was there in spirit--as, I venture to say, was I! In fact, karenpadi has submitted the following ELLENWatcher speculation--"moot" in the proper usage, meaning "for discussion."

karenpadi :

09/24/2012 at 2:58 pm

Ellen-watchers and Ellenwatch:

So at the Bay Area Meet-up on Saturday, we were talking about Ellen and all her shenanigans. I have a theory that I’d like to float by y’all:

Ellen is a highly sophisticated viral marketing campaign for Lord and Taylor.

Evidence:
-Ellen, since her Above the Law Days, has a 20% reimbursement from Lord and Taylor only via her managing partner (who else has this perk? why would it be store-specific?)
-Ellen moved from ATL to this site–where there are more women in her target demographic.
-Anyone who has ever tried to publicize anything knows that misspellings are the best way for people to remember your message–it’ll be annoying but it’ll be remembered.

Thoughts?

For background: Ellen as some form of AI or automated marketing tool has been proposed before, but I don't gather that many people have been thinking about this possibility. Nobody argued that it should have been an option on either of the POLL'S I ran over the summer about who/what/how many posters Ellen might be. (Poll #1 here, Poll #2 here.) Also, for what it's worth, my ANALYTIC'S Dept. vehemently dismisses the idea every time it comes up, and that's the closest I come to any technical authority in this adventuring.

I don't want to discourage alternative Ellen theories, and I also have a healthy humility in acknowledgment that sometimes reader's catch things that I miss. That said, I don't think the above scenario is possible. Here are my reasons:

The 20% reimbursement (recently increased to 30%) is actually not store-specific. Lord & Taylor happens to be a favorite haunt for our girl, but she has also used it (or planned to) at Nine West, Macy's, and Nordstrom. She has also mentioned purchases from The Gap and Zappos. Ellen seems open to additional online shopping, but for the fact almost everything is too revealing and too expensive.
The content of many of Ellen's posts makes for bad publicity, and not even in a particularly edgy or funny way. I'm thinking in particular of humor about Jewish culture that could easily fall flat (at best) on the wrong audience, and the occasional dubiously racial comment. Lord and Taylor hardly seems to be going for sass, but even if they were, I don't think any advertising consultant or PR Dept. would have signed off on this stuff.
Ellen continues to post on other sites, without any discernible pattern, that have no real commercial value along the lines karenpadi suggests. Examples: Bitter Lawyer (repeat performances), and random legal or industry blogs (see here for a roundup, albeit incomplete).
Her posts consistently demonstrate that she has read the blog post and/or preceding comments on the thread. Kat has shared with ELLENWatch that even during a period of deleting everything from Ellen, this held true. Ellen has also been known to follow links posted by others and remark on them in comments on Corporette--again, like a real person.

In sum, I believe this could only amount to a marketing campaign if Lord and Taylor was paying someone to be Ellen, in the fullest sense possible. As fabulous as this might be in our bizarro world, I just can't imagine it would ever happen.

karenpadi added: I still want Ellen to come to the Bay Area so we can find matching billionaires! :-) Do you think she'd really make an ideal wing-woman? Personally, I'd be concerned that next to Ellen's dazzling beauty and sizzling wit I'd have no chance whatsoever at catching the attention of some Silicon Valley guy like (Tennessee native) Justin Timberlake. At any rate, though I know I've been inviting myself everywhere lately, I'd like to volunteer--in Ellen's place--to promise a trip that may never happen as a person nobody would recognize regardless. In other words, karenpadi, if you let me come to your next meetup I'll settle for a millionaire and leave you the big bait. On?

Wrapping up: let me know if I've missed anything in the above discussion, or if anyone needs to protest. And for any reader's who have not seen The Room, whence the above picture comes, I highly recommend it! If you like Ellen, I believe you will understand the connection I have drawn here.

FREINDS ON THIS WEBSIGHT!!!!
ELLENWatch

UPDATE: Here was the response on Corporette. My own last word below.

mamabear :

10/01/2012 at 12:36 pm

And now I’ve gone down the ELLENwatch rabbit hole.

You guy’s. I need to WORK! FOOEY!

karenpadi :

10/01/2012 at 1:05 pm

Thank you! It was a far-fetched theory.

Sure, come on out to the Bay Area! Zora and I will show you a good time (I’m volunteering Zora here but I think she’d be game). You, me, Zora, and Ellen: The Fab Four!

zora :

10/01/2012 at 2:02 pm

i am so game, you don’t even know how game i am ;o)

Reply

zora :

10/01/2012 at 2:34 pm

also, EllenWatch, thanks for the breakdown, that was very interesting. It was a random thought, but I really wanted to know what you thought as a much more devoted Ellen-follower. And I think everything you said makes total sense.

Also, The Room reference is totally awesome, the little movie theater in my neighborhood has a midnight Saturday showing of it every week. You should totally come visit and we can take karenpadi to go see it ;o)

Read more: http://corporette.com/2012/10/01/roland-mouret-angel-two-tone-stretch-crepe-dress/#ixzz285UqvQS1

Always glad to be of assistance. And as for this Fab Four outing, I was wistfully joking...but when I actually thought about it I realized it isn't 100% out of the question! I do have reason to be in the SF Bay area every few years, and while I don't have any plans to go soon it's inevitable that I'll be back eventually. Meeting up with you guys as my blogger self would be one of the strangest things I've ever done, but perhaps second only to starting this sight! In other words, anything's possibel. Stay tuned xoxoxoxoxo