As I mentioned, my Analytic's Department ran some tests and came up with findings that felt wrong to me--to wit, that the supposedly fraudulent post actually was fraudulent. I gave a number of reasons that I thought "Fraud tryes to be me" seemed off, however, and Analytic's was swayed by my argument. Not only were the mechanics downright showy, I contended, but Ellen was also referring to herself as a gimmick/novelty in a way that "real" Corporette commenters--of whom she pretends to be one--never do. For example, if someone other than mamabear ever posted as mamabear, the original mamabear (all her flair notwithstanding) would not post indignantly that it was "not a real mamabear post!" or that it was "fake" and that there's only one mamabear (though undoubtedly true). Instead, mamabear would remark that oddly, someone else seemed to have used her handle, and perhaps ask this other reader to choose another. I have seen this happen several times because commenters think of themselves as, you know, people, rather than as characters.
So Analytic's went back to do some more in-depth work using tecknical methodologies that I know but choose not to tell. I realize and accept that Ellen(s) may use this blog as a yardstick for content and even formatting norms, but there are certain HTML trademarks that I don't want to subject to reproduction to further confuse who is who. Analytic's also has some of its own opinions on content, which are respectfully reprinted below although I don't necessarily agree with all of them. Here is ANALYTIC'S final report (edited, with permission, for mutual fun and cover):
Dear Boss Lady,
I stick by my original statement. I think the "fraudulent" post is
indeed fraudulent. I looked over the entries listed recently on your
blog, and Ellen has continued to be very consistent about her
[REDACTED: PROPRIETARY]. The WASTE post was not consistent at all.
Also, as one of your readers pointed out, Ellen has never shown any
interest in her waist before. As I said last night, I take issue with
her construction "if I had more of a WASTE" because Ellen never wants
more of any body part. Again, you are the expert, but the phrase "But
it’s just as well that I don’t" strikes me as unusually cogent for
Ellen. Finally, she has recently been pretty consistent with an all
lowercase "manageing partner" (even though other readers have
commented with the "Manageing Partner" capitalization employed in this
post).
I'd further like to point out that the objectionable Lourine post does
not use [REDACTED: PROPRIETARY]. However, at least two other Lourine
posts did.
My theory is that there is one main Ellen (who appears to do Lourine
as well). However, someone is trying to collaborate/usurp/take
control. And Ellen is legitimately taking umbrage.
I looked more carefully at Ellen's original blawg. Although I found
evidence that her blogging tool allowed [REDACTED: PROPRIETARY], she almost
never used it in her writing. I realize that evolution is possible,
but her blawg posts are generally longer, more self conscious, and
more literate in modern feminism. These factors suggest to me that
the blawg Ellen is not the current Corporette Ellen. Nevertheless, I
believe the Corporette Ellen has been around a long time, pretty
consistently. It is entirely believable that people would try to lay
their hands on her success.
In Ellen's service,
ANALYTIC'S Dept.
Many thank's to my colleagues for this outstandeing work.
And now, finally, for the poll results. The above verdict seems most in line with Option #2--which did indeed win the votes of ANALYTIC'S--but a majority share(d) my romantic notion of a single Ellen for all time. Notice the relatively even split among those (only slightly less than half of respondents) who do not believe in one Ellen. Of course there is a bias in who responds to this poll: these readers are enthusiastic enough to be visiting ELLENWatch and to vote (SO MANY who read but did not vote! Oh well!). I also like to think these are Ellen connoisseurs, people who know more about her and whose opinions, accordingly, are more seriously measured.
Here we are (raw numbers followed by percentages):
Of course, only Kat herself knows whether Kat herself voted.
Is anyone inclined to change her vote given the events of this week? As I mentioned in my initial statement about the love of Ellen that spurred me to start this blog, authenticity has never been my focus. Just the same, I'm rethinking some of my future poll ideas in light of the above.
I am very GREATFUL to all who voted! Never a dull moment, huh?
(Does Ellen do sarcasm?)
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