Wednesday, May 14, 2014

they apreaciate fine meat’s

Where have I been? Lying in weight for Ellen to reveal herself. My trap isn't working for sh!t, but that's my business. Thanks for those of you eternal springers, especially if you've been posting updates in the comments. It's not that I haven't been reading Ellen, it's just a bit of a girlcott.

I interrupt my protest to bring you the below news because the INVESTEMENT BANKER may be heard from again. Also a bit concerned that food from 2011 is still to be found in Ellen's residence...

Yay! I met a guy today walkeing on Lex and he is an INVESTEMENT BANKER! He said I was so cute that he did NOT want to sleep with me! He said he want’s to get to know me as a person, what my like’s and dislike’s are, and who my family is! — can this guy be real? Any way, I told him I would meet him for dinner and we will meet tomorrow nite. I have a busness meeting tonite with the manageing partner and the supermarkit guy’s — we are goeing to Ruth Chris Steak House b/c they apreaciate fine meat’s — meat’s that they do NOT sell in their supermarkits! Can you beleive the hyppocracy? FOOEY! If you eat good meat, you should stock good meat the manageing partner say’s and I agree with him!
As for the OP, you should get Almond’s at Trader Joe’s. I get all of my nuts there, and you can buy big bag’s of almond’s for about $6 / pound. You probabley want to buy RAW nuts if you are squeezeing them into Milk. I have never tried makeing Almond milk, but figure that you have to squeeze alot of nut’s to get milk out them. Alan loved to eat almond’s so I had to buy them for him even tho I had to travel to get fresh nut’s on the West side. I did NOT want to go downtown to get him nuts. He was SO lazy — he should have got his OWN nuts. FOOEY on him. I finaly threw out the last of his nut’s last month when dad asked why I ate so many almond’s. Dad said he did NOT think Alan had nuts. FOOEY on Alan!

136 comments:

  1. I don't think this new guy will be any different than the others who have used Ellen. He is using the old trick of reverse psychology to convince Ellen he's different but trust me, he'll be going right for her crotch if she gives him an opening (no pun intended). I say steer clear of him. He is cunning and this will be an issue.

    As for ellenwatch, her laziness may be costing her readers, if not also commentators. Even the great tesyaa has appeared to have abandoned the site. Get back in the saddle or I will follow!

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  2. Hurray! Ellenwatch is back? What is with the "trap" she is referring to? What is she trying to do with Ellen? I thought she was too busy with her own man to post. What gives?

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    1. You may be right. She said she's.been reading but just not posting. That signifies something (or someone) is keeping her hands busy. I would check out her significant other to determine whether they are walking around bow legged. That should seal matters.

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  3. PS: if Ellen winds up getting plowed by this new guy, Ellenwatch should be held partially responsible for failure to provide guidance while satisfying her own libido (and vulva) at her expense. For shame, Ellenwatch! We expected more out of this blog.

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  4. More sleeping on the job? You would have thought this woman would have learned. ==========
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    Ellen :

    05/19/2014 at 2:42 pm


    Yay! This is so CUTE! And if I buy one, I can get reimburse’d b/c I have to go to court and do NOT want everything to get WET, even in my LIT BAG! I can use this, plus carry my COFFEE, and let Mason carry everything else. YAY!!!!

    Myrna is goeing to check out Butch at his investement bank. I think he could be OK, tho I still have to run him by Dad b/f I decide to go out with him. Dad says he can smell a looser at 50 feet, so I have to bring him around the house since I will NOT bring him to my apartement until after we are dateing. Myrna say’s his company is a littel small, but she know’s someone who came from there who can GIVE her the info on him. Dad can get guy’s in goverment to do a background check on him also b/c I do NOT want someone who has skelitons in their closet for me to have to find out about AFTER we start dateing. Dad never came up with Alan’s alchohol probelem b/c there was NO family history – - he was the first drunk in the Sheketovits family! Woo Woo — and to think I could have been MARRIED to THAT! FOOEY FOOEY FOOEY!!!!! No drunk’s for me, thank you very much, even if Alan’s mom was a sweethart to me. FOOEY! Alan was so selfish, I can NOT beleive I put up with him for so long! But I am OVER him now, thank God! I think I saw him over the weekend in the park, tho it could have been someone else that just looked like him. His shirt tail was comeing thru his Pant’s zipper! Butch spotted it but I was MORTIFIED b/c I thought it was ALAN! OMG, that is all I need for Butch to see the last guy I dated lookeing like that! FOOEY!

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  5. Ellen :

    05/19/2014 at 10:08 am


    Yay! Splurge Monday’s, and the price for this Channel Jacket is not that bad! YAY! I might think that I could get the manageing partner to reimburse for this? I think I should. And I could get it @ Nordstrom’s so I can try it on with Rosa! YAY!!!!

    Lynn just came in with Mason — I hope he is treateing her right. It would be a shame if she wound up with NOTHING after sleepeing with him all these month’s. He walk’s with a swagger — it’s as if he is telling the world he is getting SEX from her without saying so.

    BTW, the Butch guy is holdeing to his word. He was nice, and asked me alot of question’s but did NOT grab me or even hint at haveing sex. That is good b/c I am still a littel worried that that is all they want. Myrna says I am jaded, but she treat’s sex like some kind of FLOOR exercize. I am much more emotional then she is. To Myrna, a guy is just a 3 dimentional way of getting orgazzm’s. Not me. I do NOT want that way to have sex. FOOEY! I want a real MAN, not just his impliment. Beside’s, it is so messy that it has to be worth it. It never was with Alan, b/c he was drunk most of the time and he alway’s left my apartement a mess, and NEVER helped me wash the sheet’s. FOOEY on Alan. I wonder how the HIVE handel’s guy’s like this?

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  6. This is truly pathetic! No Ellenwatch, and lots of funny comments from Ellen. What is she waiting for, the messiah to return to Earth!

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    Ellen :

    05/21/2014 at 5:17 pm


    This hapened to me! When I was process serveing, I wound up NOT likeing it so I quit to work for the manageing partner. The process serveing company wound up hireing my firm to defend their worker’s compensation cases b/c their peeople (NOT me) were lazy and often did NOT work b/c they claimed they were hurt (which was alot of BS b/c they were just lazy, and lazyness is NOT recompenseable under NY W/C Law). So I got alot of KUDOs for winning alot of the cases for my old employer, and I still get new cases as they come in b/c he continue’s to hire lazy peeople to do process serveing! YAY!!!!!!

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  7. Ellen :

    05/21/2014 at 11:02 am


    Yay! I love RED Dresses and the manageing partner love’s me to wear RED now, b/c the judge all of a sudden love’s RED! I think I flustered the plaintiff’s council when I told the judge I was weareing a specific RED dress JUST for him, b/c the Judge said that as long as I wore RED I would WIN my case’s!!!!! YAY!!!!

    As for the OP, yukkies on men that stalk us. I should think about getting some kind of MAN repelent b/c I get into troubel sometime’s walking on LEX below 42nd b/c there is a homeless shelter nearby I think, and alot of men come out and make coments when I walk by. One guy did it while PEEING into a store entreance — like that is suposed to be exciteing to me? Beleive me, I have seen weenie’s before, and alot cleaner one’s then his. God only know’s where that has been over the year’s. I would NOT be suprized if that looser did thing’s that are unspeakeabel with that smelly thing. FOOEY!

    If I were you I would NOT go alone, or else get BEAR SPRAY. If a guy aproache’s you, you spray him in the eye’s and he will stop on a DIME, dad say’s. Dad has bear spray for me but I have NOT brought it back from LI. There are plenty of wierdo’s out there that follow me whenever I walk around Rosevelt Field. DOUBEL FOOEY! Why can’t MEN just find some other way to satisfy their sexueal urges? We are not sexueal repositorie’s for their weenie’s! TRIPEL FOOEY!

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  8. Ellen :

    05/20/2014 at 4:55 pm


    I am like you. Another blonde lawyer, and I want to become VERY proficent at Exel, but really do NOT know how to even get started. Frank is our resident BLACKBELT, and he doe’s all the spreadheet’s for the firm. Even the manageing partner had Frank do the budget on a spreadsheet so we could see how much we were makeing and spendeing. Alan was goeing to teach me, but he NEVER did. FOOEY! Mabye Butch will teach me b/c he is an INVESTEMENT BANKER! He says I am VERY SMART!!!! YAY!!!!!

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  9. Ellen :

    05/20/2014 at 11:15 am


    This could have been ME, as littel as 3 year’s ago! You just have to have CONFIEDENCE, and move forward in your job. Think of the peeople listening to you as all sitting there in their underwear. That will make you bold b/c none of them want to stand up b/c they are embarased about their tucheses!
    ======================

    Ellen :

    05/20/2014 at 10:09 am


    If you live in NYC, you could call for takeout food like I do. This way, your Kitchen stay’s clean and you can just serve it on paper plate’s if you do NOT want to wash any dishe’s. That is what I have learned. When I tried to make chicken for a guy, it was a DISASTER, and I had alot of cleanup to do. Who has time for that, especialy if the cleaneing lady is not comeing by the next day? Not me. Either HE cook’s (and clean’s up) or I bring take out. I figure that b/c I am such a profesional, I should be abel to rely on OTHERS to do the cookeing and teh cleaneing for me.

    When I was dateing Alan, he alsothought he was a profesional, so HE did NOT want to do anything other then make a mess in the kitchen, then the batheroom (fooey) and then the bedroom, where he also did alot of fooey thing’s to me that I actualy put up with b/c I wanted him to work out — which he did NOT. DOUBEL FOOEY!

    Now I have a guy, Butch, who is VERY interested in me, but I am not sure about him yet. Ihave to have Dad get the goverment guy’s to check him out b/f I get serius with him. I do NOT want to waste time, b/c I need to have a child hopefuly THIS YEAR. Grandma Leyeh is disapointed that I am still singel. She said that someone so pretty and accomplished as ME would be MARRIED and almost a grandmother when she was a child. FOOEY b/c I do NOT think there were lady lawyer’s in the old country back then. Were there? I do NOT think so. Dad also thinks there is something wrong when I , an accomplished Lawyer, cannot get a guy to Marry me. But I am NOT marrying a LOOSER! YAY!!

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  10. Ellenwatch must be indisposed because if not, she's due to retire or something. I don't think she's been getting it nonstop for the last month or so or she'd have worn off her g-spot by now, or her boyfriend would have whittled his penis down to a toothpick boinking her. Give us a sign you're still here and your future plans for updating this blog.

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  11. Query whether Ellen will ever get to appreciate my fine meat? It is available and waiting for her 24/7.

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    1. Not in your lifetime, buster. The fact that Ellenwatch is asleep at the switch does not mean we are. We know you want Ellen, but you simply will not get any of her. You can see she has more eligible suitors than you. Besides, we know more about you than we've told the public. Ellenwatch, kindly get back on sentry duty here, will ya?

      Delete
  12. Is Ellenwatch taking it in the tuchis

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  13. If she is, that would be a FOOEY, right? I tried it and it's fun but smelly!

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  14. Ellenwatch would not do this--unless her constipation is attributable to same and she is not posting as a result thereof.

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  15. She would only do anal after she was good at oral. I don't see it (or smell it) in the offing.

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  16. I remain disappointed that Ellenwatch is gone; perhaps forever.

    Here are a few new ones--it does not take long to find and post them. With warmer weather upon us, I hope Ellen lands the right guy, but as is the usual MO, losers keep coming her way!

    Ellen :
    05/30/2014 at 5:29 pm

    Yay!!!! Open thread’s!!!! I love Open thread’s and this maxi dress, tho I realy don’t have to many occasion’s that I would be abel to wear it. I think that once I am MARRIED, I will start goeing to alot more formal event’s, and the opera and the theatre, but for now, I am literaly workeing my TUCHUS off to try to find a guy worthy enough to MARRY! If I start buying these now, they will NOT be in style when I need to wear them, after the Children are old enough to be in school, so I can go to the Opera and the Theatre!

    The manageing partner lassooe’d me into to helping his brother find an apartement in Manhattan. He think’s that b/c I live in Manhattan that I am an expert. I had DAD find my apartement, and dad bought it for me and is handeling everything for me, so I know very littel about apartements, and coops and condos and whatever–all I know is that to coop did NOT act to freindly to me when I had to interview. If not for Dad, they would NOT have let me in here.

    The manageing partner’s brother is meeting me at my apartement tomorrow and we are to walk around MY neiborhood b/c he think’s there are more single women where I live then anywhere else in Manhattan, so his chances for sex are the greatest here. What a doosh! I am worried that the manageing partner has told him all about my probelem’s with men and that he will want to date me even tho we are probabley 25+ year’s apart in age.

    I am worried b/c he was stareing at me and smileing with dirty teeth at me. I know already he has a big sex drive, b/c he said so. The mere thought of sex with that guy is gross. He could sureley get a heart attack b/c he is so out of shape and all that huffeing and puffeing could put him over the top. That is all I need. Haveing to have the fire department take him out of my apartement naked is gross! FOOEY! I think I will meet him in the LOBBY when he come’s rather then letting the doorman tell him to come up. I hope I will not get the manageing partner mad at me.

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  17. Anonymous :
    05/30/2014 at 12:48 pm

    Yay! Fruegel Friday’s! I love Fruegel Friday’s and this Skirt! Great pick, Kat, and at $20, who can go wrong!!!!! Blonde Lawyer may be right, but I have been told to pay cash at Target until they get their computer’s straitened out. They had what dad described as a data breech, where everyone’s data was exposed to 3rd world countrie’s, where peeople use your credit card to charge thing’s in Crimea and place’s like that where you can NOT verify whether the purchaeses were your’s! FOOEY on that.

    Dad said the Board of Director’s of Target is in troubel for NOT watcheing out that carfully for this and Butch said his company is advising Target on Corporate Govenence issue’s on that stuff. It is way to complicated for me, so I just said YES, I understand, even tho I had NO idea what he was talking about. Butch want’s me to go to the Hamton’s with him this weekend, but I said no b/c it is to early in the releationship for me to spend a weekend JUST with him, and I know that if I did, he would want to have sex with me. FOOEY b/c Alan did that and I let him and now look what hapened? He is still drinkeing and I got nothing out of it at all. Grandma Leyeh is wondering what hapened to the $ 50,000 she gave me. Dad invested it for me, tho she wanted it to be for “the baby”, but at this point, there is not even a guy in the picture to give me one! DOUBEL FOOEY!

    Yesterday, there was a p’ost from some woman who was askeing how many times a day we should have sex with our boyfreind’s and she said she did it 3x a day on the weekend’s and 2x a day on the weekday’s, I think. I would NOT want to have to be their cleaneing lady, b/c she would be in the laundry room every day, sometime’s more. I know that Alan would not be that PROLIFIC, but he alway’s made a mess that I had to deal with, so I would NEVER let Butch turn into another Alan.

    I think I will have ROSA get this skirt from Target for me. I am now back to size 2, b/c all the fitbit walkeing has now got my tuchus down to size. The worst that can happen is that it is to tight, and then I can donate the skirt to NY Care’s, and someone else with a smaller tuchus can wear it instead of me! YAY!!!!!!

    Have a nice weekend to the HIVE, and Kat and Kate (the new person). My computer is acting up so I may not be abel to post this afternoon, execept mabye from my I-Phone! YAY!!!!!
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    Bewitched :
    05/30/2014 at 1:58 pm

    Why is Ellen Anonymous today? Is it her way of taking a stand in favor of the “Anons”??!!

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  18. Now the judge is approving her clothing? This girl has the life!
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    Ellen :
    05/29/2014 at 2:38 pm

    Oh! Great pick, Kat! I love these pump’s! I am not sure I can use my clotheing allowance for these b/c they are open backed, and the manageing partner will NOT reimburse for sandal’s. I will tell him these are for WORK, and if the judge like’s them, I can get reimbursed. Mabye I should send the judge an email, with this picture, and if he say’s thumb’s up, I can get them? YAY!!!!!!

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  19. I see that not everyone likes this:

    Marnie :
    05/29/2014 at 5:21 pm

    I think that judge is unprofessional and ought to be sanctioned. This is really no more than an odious form of sexual harassment, though not overt–you dress the way I like you win. This is unfair to the litigants if one party has the judge in her pocket, but unfair also to her because she is not winning on the merits.
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  20. OMG--Ellen had better watch her lady parts with this oaf!

    Ellen :
    05/29/2014 at 1:13 pm

    I agree with Rose’s. If it is made out of QUALITY LEATHER, it is OK (like my lit bag, onley better). If, ON THE OTHER HAND, it is made out of CANVASS, it is NOT accepteable. It is kind of like the OLD computer bag’s. Leather = OK, canvass = FOOEY!

    The mangeing partner will NOT reimburse for anything that is NOT matching leather to my shoe’s. Today the manageing partner’s brother came in. He is getting DIVORCED from his wife, and he asked me about “getteing a PAD in the City”. I think he think’s that when he move’s to the City, that women will be all over him, begging him to sleep with them. That is NOT goeing to happen. He is a 60 year old guy with a bald head and a big bald stomach to match. Just like the manageing partner, he has bad breathe, and I am sure Women will NOT want him to kiss them, let alone have sex with them. I think he think’s that b/c he has MONEY in the bank, that women will come flockeing! That may have been true in the 1980′s, but we are NOW profesional’s with our own job’s and our own MONEY. We do NOT need a man to suport us. YAY!!!!

    That is not good new’s to men over 60, who expect that women will just peel their clothe’s off after a dinner out with 2 drink’s. Mabye that worked on Mad Men, but that was in the 1960′s, when Mom and Dad were kid’s! Nowadays, we want a guy who is our EQUAL, not a guy who just wants us for sex. That is the reason I am haveing troubel finding a decent guy. There are plenty of guys out there, but MOST ALL are NOT worthy of me, Dad says. Even Grandma Leyeh agrees, tho she wonder’s if Alan would have been OK. FOOEY!
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  21. Here, Ellen is responding to a woman who "gets down" 2x / day during the week with her boyfriend, and 3x / day over the weekend, with at least oral in the mornings, if not more. Ellen's response is a classic!

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    Ellen :
    05/29/2014 at 10:29 am

    I agree. This is NOT the place for us to get into detail about what we do (and do NOT do) with our boyfreind’s. We are a group of ladie’s with PROFESIONAL job’s and profesional interests that do NOT revolve around sexueal thing’s our boyfreind’s want to do with us. It is true that men are generaly NOT to interested in what we have to say as long as we do what they want, but I say FOOEY on that and I do NOT think we should glorify THAT here.

    I prefer comenting on the clotheing, which is for the most part VERY STYLEISH, and shareing information with the HIVE about where the best sale’s are on profesional clotheing in each of our location’s. We also talk about other stuff, like job interview’s and how to deal with manageing partner’s and court apearances, etc., etc., but NEVER just about sex. DOUBEL FOOEY on that!

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  22. Ellen :
    05/28/2014 at 3:48 pm

    Yay! Good luck to you! I have NOT been in this position, but you should alway’s be freindly to the company council, as he will be your boss just like the manageing partner is MY boss (tho I am also a partner, I am NOT the manageing partner, yet). I think he will ask you whether you REALY want to work there, and of course say YES, and if he asks you WHY, just tell him you are interested in workeing full time to get the full employee benefit’s package, which should include medical, dental, vacation and sick day’s, which you may NOT get now.

    Also tell him you are VERY healthy and do NOT get sick alot and you are capeable of workeing from home if you get sick or whatever their policy is. And be sure to tell them you are FLEXIBEL, meaning you can do whatever they need b/c you are young and willing to LEARN, unlike alot of dolt’s who are just watcheing the clock and playing Angry Bird’s on there Iphone’s, or stareing out the window rankeing women as they walk by, like they did when I worked for the goverment. I am sure in-house is not to different–the guy’s I work with inhouse are for the most part lazy, and they like to stare at me when I am lookeing over the cases they give me.

    So you will do fine. Do NOT wear a low cut blouse. I cant stress this enough b/c you want to get the job based on your experience, NOT your boobie’s. Also, dress VERY conservative. No short dresse’s to the interview or on the job. If men want to see leg’s, they can find other’s to look at, NOT your’s. You are an attorney at law, and are hired for that purpose, NOT to tittelate looser’s who can spend the money to go to a Gentelman’s Club if they have to. FOOEY on men like that! FOOEY!

    I am still waiting for BUTCH to call me. FOOEY!

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  23. Let's find Ellen a hubby! Surely some one has a brother/brother in law that wants a nice girl to marry? My brother is an ass so I am not volunteering him but there must be many out there for her! Ellenwatch, can you coordinate this?

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    1. I know a guy (not related) named Bruce, in New York City. He has a job working for the City, and is about 45 years old. I think he would find Ellen interesting. How can I hook them up?

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  24. This site is boring without Ellenwatch.

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    1. She'd rather take it up the poop chute than post?

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  25. Another week has gone by, and no Ellenwatch--is she really retired to a life of having her boyfriend / husband pump her in the poop-chute? I do not think so. I am concerned that perhaps she is ill, and therefore has given up the site. In any event, I wish her well and hope she restarts the posting because things are not the same here without her to lead our thoughts. Some of the other posters and I try and fill in the gaps, but we are not as good as her at capturing the true meaning of Ellen's posts. I will put in a few, but pardon me if I miss some.

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    The first is showing Ellen trying to be helpful to someone who wanted to know where to take their kids in NY City and Washington DC. Of course, Ellen knows everything about this (and most other) subjects:

    Ellen :
    06/06/2014 at 4:34 pm

    Yay! Open thread’s! I love Open thread’s! I must agree with alot of the OPs that these shoe’s are gross! I would NOT wear open toed shoe’s at work, but also not for weekend’s b/c if I walked on the sidewalk, I have stepped in dog poop, and there is NOTHING worse, trust me, then steppeing into a fresh pile of dog poop with open toe’d shoes or sandels! TRIPEL FOOEY!

    As for this OP, I am an expert, haveing lived in DC and NYC. I second the motion’s that in DC you take the kids to the air and space museum, and up the washington monument, and also to the old p’ost office on Pennsylvania. Also, go to the Capital rotunda and the Lincoln and Jeffereson, and if you have time, go see the hope diamond. Wow!

    When in NYC, you can do the circle line FERRY, and go to the empire State and top of the rock, and mabye to Radio City. Food is great all over, try Crumbs for great cookie’s and cake’s. and the Second Ave Deli for great meat’s! YUMMY!

    This weekend, Myrna’s uncle is coming to NYC, so I will take my own advise and go to some of these places with him. He onley is 35, so he is NOT an old guy at all. Yesterday, one of the supermarket guy’s figured out that Myrna was NOT an intern so the manageing partner will NOT be abel to bill her back to them. They did like our approach, so we have started the billeing. I have 3 form document’s that I am copying for almost all of their case’s, so just today, I have been abel to bill a total of 30 hour’s already! And I still have another hour to go, so that could mean another 7 billeable hours for me if I am luckey! YAY!!!!!!!!

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    1. Here, Ellen comments on the plight of being a professional and a blonde in NY City, with some suggestions to another blonde who is thinking of darkening her hair:

      Ellen :
      06/06/2014 at 10:14 am

      Yay! Fruegel Friday’s!!!! I love Fruegel Friday’s and this long sleeve v-tee shirt,– great pick, Kat, tho I DO wonder if Frank will start peereing in at my boobie’s thru the v-neck, and if my bra would show, b/c that would look very dumb. FOOEY on that if it show’s!

      As for the OP, I have the same issue’s, though I would NOT color my blonde darker. Yes, men do NOT think I am as smart as I would be if I had brown hair, but the manageing partner told me that he would NOT have noticed (and hired)me if I had brown hair. I think he knew he needed a svelte blonde workeing in the office, and he knew the WC judge was very partieal to blond’s, and Madeline was neither svelte or blonde. So I literaly was a NATURAL when I bumped into him and he found out I had LEGAL skill’s and was a JD. He has also warned me alot of times NEVER to color my hair brown or any other color b/c I would loose the special cachee I have as a duly admitted NYC lawyer who is both smart and blonde.

      So even tho we probabley would get more recognition among the academic’s if we had dark hair, most of us blonde’s keep our hair as it is b/c in the long run, we do better then we would if we had brown hair. That is my story, and I supose it could be the same story for other sucesful women like Marisa Meyer, Gwenneth Paltrow, Sallie Crawchuck, Shereyl Sandberg, and Mark Zukerburg’s wife. Yay!!!
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  26. Here, what is more interesting than the post -- a typical scenario where the managing partner is scheming with Ellen to get Myrna a free meal on the client -- are the comments from others that follow. Clearly true indication that we are but one of many Ellen followers:

    Ellen :
    06/05/2014 at 2:53 pm

    Yay, me too! I was late, and forgot and now the manageing partner is mad b/c I am suposed to go with him tonite to the Lamb’s club with the Supermarkit Guy’s and he wanted ME to present our new WC strategy, which is a take NO PRISONER’s approach, meaning we litieagate EVERYTHING. The manageing partner said that this will mean alot more billeable hours for us, but we are NOT goieng to pitch it that way. We will say that to many of their employee’s are getting away with fake injurie’s which need to be questioned–many time’s REPEATEDLEY– in order to ENSURE that there is no hanky panky goeing on. Once they say “YES, GO AT IT” we will start the billeing clock with a blizzerd of motion’s in court for each case. This will tire out the plaintiff’s and we will WIN, especialy if the judge has me wear my new RED outfit! YAY!!!!!!!

    Sam called and said hello, and I told him about Butch. He does NOT like Butch’s firm. They are shady, he say’s. He wondered how I met Butch and I told him I saw him on LEX. He said Lex is cheep–better to walk on Park Ave South. I told him I saw Gonzalo (another ex) with his hands down the pant’s of a woman, and he was grabbeing at her tuchus right on the street! He said that he was NOT suprized. FOOEY! He said he would be happy to grab my tuchus if that is what I wanted, but I said NO.

    Myrna is goieng to meet me at the Lamb’s Club, and the manageing partner will tell the Supermarket Guys that she is an intern. That way, we can bill them for her meal also! YAY!!!!!
    Reply Report

    TO Lawyer :
    06/05/2014 at 3:07 pm

    Wow Ellen’s firm is shady…
    Reply Report
    Senior Attorney :
    06/05/2014 at 5:06 pm

    Which is not, perhaps, the biggest “surprize” of the century…
    Reply Report
    Shoplifter :
    06/05/2014 at 5:11 pm

    ELLEN isn’t real. Her firm isn’t real.
    Senior Attorney :
    06/05/2014 at 6:06 pm

    Wait.

    What?
    TO Lawyer :
    06/05/2014 at 5:37 pm

    @Shoplifter – I know Ellen isn’t real. I was being facetious. Maybe that that didn’t come across but sometimes I read her posts and they make me laugh.
    Reply Report

    ReplyDelete
  27. Ellen and the scrunchies--oh, how difficult it is to please all of her men, and at the same time look good in the summer! We should all have her problems!

    Ellen :
    06/05/2014 at 2:18 pm

    Frank doe’s this also! FOOEY! I get alot of coments about my hair–I often wear SCHRUNCHIES so that I do NOT have to pay attention to all the men that tell me to wear my hair DOWN, then up, then in a bun, etc etc. I am NOT a ragdoll that men can just play with. When I was in Pitsburgh, I found a big bag of SCHRUNCHIES for less then I am abel to buy 3 in NYC. So I bought them, but my releatives from Europe took most of them along with some of my new pantie’s. I think they were goieng to bring them to their girlfreind’s back in Europe, but don’t they have SCHRUNCHIES and pantie’s there? I am sure the Answer is “YES”. If anyone in the HIVE know’s otherwize, please explain!!!!!

    Butch LOVES my hair but NOT the schrunchie. So what am I to do, look good for him but be all sweatie in the summer? I say NO. Take me, take my schrunchies. What does the hive think about schrunchies? Even the manageing partner flip-flop’s on this issue. The judge does NOT care to much for my schrunchies either. FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Another classic. Ellen spewing forth information about HVAC issues without knowing what the meaning of the elusive V stands for (it's not vaginosis!). Fortunately, another member of the "Hive" chimes in with the answer for her:

    Ellen :
    06/05/2014 at 9:40 am

    I love J Crew! Great Selection from the guest p’oster! I ALWAYS take my jacket off @ work b/c of the terribel air condition we have in our office’s. FOOEY! There is absoluteley NO circulation of air and I call up the building peeople alot to see what they can do. They do NOTHING other then come up, look at the vent’s and then hold something up that take’s the temperature. Big deal.

    The manageing partner asure’s me that whatever place we wind up with will have good HVAC. I do NOT know what the V stand’s for, tho H is heating and AC is air condition. If anyone in the hive know’s what the V stand’s for, please share with the rest of us. Thanks…

    Butch is being very nice. I think he is thinkeing that he want’s to be my boyfreind, tho he has onley kissed me good night. It is good that he is NOT grabbey like all the other’s like Gonzalo. DOUBEL FOOEY on men that grab our boobies and tuchus! This is NOT sexy to us women. Why don’t men know that?
    Reply Report

    In the Pink :
    06/05/2014 at 12:03 pm

    I believe that is Ventilation. This is something that your manageing partner is not provideing.

    YIKES! I finally had a reason to respond to Ellen.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Here's Ellen commenting to another on their shared problem -- women doing all the work for the lazier men in the office:

    Ellen :
    06/04/2014 at 5:37 pm

    Hug’s to you! It seems that alot of us women get alot more work b/c we are so productive, while some of the men are much LESS So. FOOEY! What I would say — and have said to my manageing partner is that I am already workeing very hard, and that if I get stretched to much more, I will not be abel to be as meticuluous as I have been in my breif writing, and if that is the case, my winning percentage will go down below 90%, which is NOT a good thing.

    Also, if we are stressed at work, we tend to bring these thing’s home with us. I do NOT know if you are MARRIED, but if you are, this will NOT be helpful to your releationship. I know that Alan was stressed b/c his boss made him work and he was NOT to smart, and he took it out on me b/c I was soft to him and did NOT stand up when he did things he should NOT have. You do NOT want to be in that position. FOOEY!

    Now I am lookeing for another guy, but I do NOT want to have that kind of baggage, nor will I tolerate that kind of baggage from him. Butch may have a shot, but the JURY is still out on him. Dad wants to meet him, and he will decide if Butch is worthy of me. You need to make the same choices. YAY!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  30. An interesting one where Ellen reaches out to a woman who laments that she is not on speaking terms with her mom, and her dad is now ill. What to do? Ellen knows........
    Ellen :
    06/04/2014 at 2:39 pm

    I agree with Sidney, but we in the HIVE are your freind’s also! So therefore, Sincere HUGS to you– mabye this is the time for your Mom to start speakeing with you again. Life is way to short to bare grugges or whatever hapened in the past.

    I had a freind in college who had a falling out with her dad b/c her dad did NOT agree with the way Laura dressed or the boyfreind’s she showed her parent’s. Acording to her dad, he thought she was selling herself short by dating these looser’s, and that her clotheing made her look like a sluttey woman who would never amount to anything. Laura decided she had enough with that and stopped talkeing to him. But then her dad got sick, and he took back all of the bad thing’s he said (she did NOT turn into a slut and she eventualy wound up MARRYING a MEDICAL DOCTOR (MD) — so she turned out OK after all) — it also turned out that the Doctor helped out with his diagnoses, and the dad and her and the MD are now very happy. She wound up haveing a SON with the MD and the father is now a grandfather! YAY for them. So let’s hope that your dad get’s better soon and we can all say prayer’s for him and also that YOUR family gets as tight as my freind, Laura. DOUBEL YAY!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  31. I recall this guy -- some internet guy with a big ego (to go with a likely very small penis). Ellen shares the memory again with us. Many of us have dealt with guys whose egos are far more aggrandized than their man-parts, as all of us know after we've been through an incredibly dull session in the sack with them. I know I've thought of nearly everything while praying for it to be over with these guys, so I can relate!

    Ellen :
    06/04/2014 at 10:27 am

    I love this scarf, Kat (and Kate)! I also am a BIG fan of cashemere and silk! Morover, the computer design reminds me alot of some bald internet dufus I met in the MEATPACKING District last year that gave me a ride in his limo that had bad breathe but I think wanted to date me (but with NO real prospect’s b/c he was makeing alot of money doeing something on the web and therefore thought that he could have his pick of women from the MEATPACKING district who were all over the place lookeing for computer wonk’s like him. He said he was workeing on some app that could be on an IPHONE that could tell what you were doieng! Why would I need that? I know what I am doeing! FOOEY! He thought I was stupid enough to sleep with him but I wasn’t! DOUBLE FOOEY on dufusses with bad breathe that just want to sleep with us!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Some helpful vacation ideas to a woman who's newly married and taking the bar. Now if only Ellen can get married and have a baby, she'd be right where she wants to be--on the beach!

    Ellen :
    06/03/2014 at 2:58 pm

    Yay! You are MARRIED and already have a child! To bad DH does NOT have a job. I would make sure he keep’s lookeing b/c you should be takeing care of the baby rather then workeing.

    As for something NICE, how about goeing to the Pocono’s? Rosa took the Kid’s to Hershey Park, where there is water stuff, and Ed joined over the weekend. It is close to NYC, so that should be good, and there is other stuff nearby, like the Amish and baked goods (yummy!) and all kind’s of thing’s in Pensylvania, but NOT near Pitsburg where you have to take USAIR. FOOEY!

    You could also go to the Hamton’s where Butch has a place, but that is NOT for kid’s b/c there are alot of peeople there and they are partyeing and drinkeing, which is NOT good for a baby. DOUBEL FOOEY! But good luck on the job. Mabye we will meet in NYC b/c I am also an attorney in NYC who WANTS a baby! YAY!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Another situation where Ellen laments on her situation -- being too smart to attract a guy to marry her. Will Butch ever even jump in the sack with her? I wonder! I'll bet Ellen pulls his pants down pretty soon and has at it with his privates if this keeps up!

    Ellen :
    06/03/2014 at 2:52 pm

    I agree. Men SAY they want women to be smart, but they are SCARED of smart women! That’s how come I, an attorney at law, DULY admited to the State Bar of NY State, can NOT get a decent man to MARRY me! Yes, they want to be seen with me, and date me but it is JUST for the purpose of haveing SEX with me. After that, they do NOT want to comit, let alone get MARRIED and have CHILDREN, which is all that I want. I do NOT want an imiature JERK who just want’s to be huffeing and puffeing on top of me then rolling over and makeing a mess on my Egyptioan Cotton Sheet’s. That is ALL ALAN EVER DID. And I was a jerk for letting him! FOOEY!

    So now I am thinking that mabye Butch will be different, but I will NOT let him do anything in bed until I am SURE. I hope I am doeing the right thing. DOUBEL FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
  34. Another lament about men and sex. Will Butch ever make the effort to sleep with her? If not, I see Ellen pulling down his pants and having at his privates before he can say "boo"!

    Ellen :
    06/03/2014 at 2:52 pm

    I agree. Men SAY they want women to be smart, but they are SCARED of smart women! That’s how come I, an attorney at law, DULY admited to the State Bar of NY State, can NOT get a decent man to MARRY me! Yes, they want to be seen with me, and date me but it is JUST for the purpose of haveing SEX with me. After that, they do NOT want to comit, let alone get MARRIED and have CHILDREN, which is all that I want. I do NOT want an imiature JERK who just want’s to be huffeing and puffeing on top of me then rolling over and makeing a mess on my Egyptioan Cotton Sheet’s. That is ALL ALAN EVER DID. And I was a jerk for letting him! FOOEY!

    So now I am thinking that mabye Butch will be different, but I will NOT let him do anything in bed until I am SURE. I hope I am doeing the right thing. DOUBEL FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
  35. Here Ellen provides advice to a woman who is leaving her job:

    Ellen :
    06/03/2014 at 10:24 am

    Yay! Hug’s to you on the new job! I hope you are not RESIGNING b/c they told you to — it could make a diference for Unemployement reasons. If they are makeing you resign, you should be abel to get unemployement benefit’s. On the other hand, if you are leaveing to go somewhere else, you will NOT get unemployement benefit’s. I think that if this is a voluntary thing, you are NOT guareanteed any particular amount of time to leave, and if you give let’s say 3 week’s notice, they could tell you to leave and NOT pay you, b/c they are sore about you leaveing. I do NOT think there is a law requireing you to give a certain amount of notice that I am aware of.

    When I left the process server, I told them ahead of time, but since I had NO backlog, they told me I could leave or stay, so I left b/c the manageing partner wanted to ONBOARD me right away and get me started on my w/c caseload. So you need to figure out if they are goeing to get mad if you leave or if they think you will take the cleint’s with you. Which one is it? Do you have your own cleint’s? If so, it is different then if the firm has cleint’s that YOU work for. Personaly, if I were you, I would bank as much money as you can NOW, meaning no dress shoppeing and no new shoe’s, and get ready to moove to your new place and job. Then, you can tell them you are mooving, and therefore will NOT be abel to continue workeing there. Be prepared to have them tell you to go sooner rather then later, b/c they do NOT want to give you confidentieal information onley to have you leave to go somewhere else. FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
  36. Here, Ellen provides advice on whether to tell someone at the firm she wants to work that she is applying for a full time position.

    Ellen :
    06/02/2014 at 3:23 pm

    Yes, OF COURSE you should contact the person, even if they are NOT on the specific hireing committee for your job. It cannot hurt at all. These days, we women need all the angle’s we can get, so there is NOTHING WRONG with calling her and telling her that you are interveiewing for a position and you would like to know if she could put a good word in for you. Men do it all the time! The worse that can hapen is that she say’s she is not involved and would not feel comforteable doieng that for you. In that case, just say FOOEY and move on. However, if you do know that she like’s you, just call her and tell her what you are doieng. THIS COULD VERY well be the diference between getting the job or NOT. It never pay’s to be bashful in life, or in love my Grandma Leyeh say’s and she is right! YAY!!!!!! Butch is comeing over soon so I have to flush Frank out of the toilet so that I can look good when he come’s here. DOUBEL YAY!
    Reply Report

    Eileen :
    06/02/2014 at 5:54 pm

    I agree with Ellen. She truly has street-smarts. If only she learned how to spell she’d really be wonderfully brilliant (in addition to drop-dead gorgeous!)

    ReplyDelete
  37. Here's another "lookback" to the pool party -- I believe last Summer, where people got rowdy, and privates were evidently revealed! Not sure this was shared the last time around!

    Ellen :
    06/02/2014 at 1:16 pm

    Yes, this is a sensitive TOPIC! FOOEY! I had a pool party at the manageing partner’s last year where EVERYONE had to wear a batheing suit, and then peeople drank to much and some got into a SPAT in the pool, and one guy (who shall remain namless) had his bottom’s pulled down in the pool and everyone “SAW” everything! FOOEY! It was NOT profesional, also b/c the men were stareing at my boobies and Lynn’s boobies and tuchus (she was more SVELTE last year). This year, she will be with Mason (and she is chunkyer then ever) and the manageing partner said we will NOT have a pool party but a boateing outing where shorts are requred. That way, the men will NOT be stareing as much, and we will NOT have to wear batheing suits that show just about everything. I do NOT like getting bikini waxe’s and the manageing partner’s brother will be there and this year I think he will be stareing at me more w/o his soon to be exwife there.

    Butch called and want’s to meet today. I think I will have him come here and we can WALK uptown. I think he is my best bet these day’s, as there is NO one else, except for Harold and his dad, who are fighting over me. FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
  38. OMG! The managing partner's brother seems to be interested now in making a play for Ellen! He is also to move into NY City -- where is son is also living (and interested in Ellen). I wonder if he will start in with Ellen, and battle with his own son for Ellen's affection! Ellen :
    06/02/2014 at 9:13 am

    Yay, Kat and Kate, this is such an INFORMATIVE Post! And a very styleish selection for less then $1000 — I hope one day to be abel to dress like this @ work, but I probabley will not be a lawyer — mabye a consultant or something — that is what the manageing partner’s brother said to me. He said that lawyer’s are stuffy and that I have alot of FLAIR. I had to show him around the upper east side, and we met HAROLD, who looks just like him onley YOUNGER. Same bald head, and not as big of a stomack, yet, but he’ll get there.

    It was funny, Harold said we should eat out so we went to the 2nd Ave deli, and the manageing partner’s brother and Harold were both tryeing to get me to admit that they were each better lookeing then the other. One is a father and the other was a son–what was I suposed to say? Harold and I have gone out (NOT dated), and now the manageing partner’s brother want’s to date women on the upper east side as soon as he find’s a place. Harold offered to show him around, but he want’s me to do that b/c I have “the women’s touch”… He is a littel creepy ooogleing me, but I think I can manage him like I do his brother at work. He did get to come up to my apartement b/c he said he needed to use the toilet. I did NOT want him to have an accident in his pant’s (FOOEY) so I let him come up. He used the toilet then looke’d around my apartement. He said I would have to decoreate his new place when he got one. I can NOT imagine him likeing my stuff–it is way to girley for men I would think, but he said he liked it!

    Anyway, I can’t chat much today b/c I have 7 breif’s to file electroniceally with the court this morning b/c of the Calendar Call, so I wish the HIVE a great week. PS–the weather in NYC was beautiful yesterday and I logged alot of steps with the manageing partner’s brother. He said he liked my tuchus as it was and sugested that I not worry about steps. I would NOT tell dad this b/c he would get VERY mad. He want’s me married soon, and that means a “microtuchus” if one at all. YAY!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  39. More on the managing partner's brother. I seriously think he will make a move for Ellen once he realizes that women in NY City will not automatically drop their panties for him -- even if he has money!

    Ellen :
    05/30/2014 at 5:29 pm

    Yay!!!! Open thread’s!!!! I love Open thread’s and this maxi dress, tho I realy don’t have to many occasion’s that I would be abel to wear it. I think that once I am MARRIED, I will start goeing to alot more formal event’s, and the opera and the theatre, but for now, I am literaly workeing my TUCHUS off to try to find a guy worthy enough to MARRY! If I start buying these now, they will NOT be in style when I need to wear them, after the Children are old enough to be in school, so I can go to the Opera and the Theatre!

    The manageing partner lassooe’d me into to helping his brother find an apartement in Manhattan. He think’s that b/c I live in Manhattan that I am an expert. I had DAD find my apartement, and dad bought it for me and is handeling everything for me, so I know very littel about apartements, and coops and condos and whatever–all I know is that to coop did NOT act to freindly to me when I had to interview. If not for Dad, they would NOT have let me in here.

    The manageing partner’s brother is meeting me at my apartement tomorrow and we are to walk around MY neiborhood b/c he think’s there are more single women where I live then anywhere else in Manhattan, so his chances for sex are the greatest here. What a doosh! I am worried that the manageing partner has told him all about my probelem’s with men and that he will want to date me even tho we are probabley 25+ year’s apart in age.

    I am worried b/c he was stareing at me and smileing with dirty teeth at me. I know already he has a big sex drive, b/c he said so. The mere thought of sex with that guy is gross. He could sureley get a heart attack b/c he is so out of shape and all that huffeing and puffeing could put him over the top. That is all I need. Haveing to have the fire department take him out of my apartement naked is gross! FOOEY! I think I will meet him in the LOBBY when he come’s rather then letting the doorman tell him to come up. I hope I will not get the manageing partner mad at me.

    ReplyDelete
  40. I missed the commentary to the above, which is attached below. I see also that one of my co-workers has already chimed in -- my sentiments, EXACTLY!

    Reply Report

    Lois N. :
    06/01/2014 at 12:35 pm

    Wouldn’t it be something if one of us found a husband for Ellen? She’d be so happy and we’d be doing her a mitzvah at the same time!
    Reply Report

    Wren :
    05/31/2014 at 1:25 pm

    I wonder if Ellen’s managing partner would reimburse her for this dress? Will someone find out?
    Reply Report

    SSG3 :
    05/31/2014 at 2:10 pm

    From what I read above, it does not seem that she is too interested in asking the managing partner for reimbursement on this dress. What is interesting today is that the manageing partner’s brother may put the moves on Ellen — perhaps as we speak — as he is becoming a bachelor again and Ellen likely represents precisely the type of “fresh meat” he is looking for on back in Manhattan. What he probably does not realize — or maybe he does — is that Ellen, despite being very pretty — has a mind of her own — and may well be a younger copy of the woman he is divorcing now. If I had to guess, his wife is high-maintenance, and if he’s hoping to get away from that with a younger woman in Manhattan, good luck to him! In the meantime, I hope Ellen does not get into any kind of compromising position (literally or figuratively) with him, because even though she is now a partner, she does not want to disrupt the equilibrium she has achieved at work with this slob.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Here's one where ELLEN apparently had PC issues, and the post is anonymous. Someone was smart enough to recognize and acknowledge the wisdom as coming from Ellen.....

    Frugal Friday’s TPS Report: Ponte Pencil Skirt
    05/30/2014 By GuestPoster 80 Comments

    :
    05/30/2014 at 12:48 pm

    Yay! Fruegel Friday’s! I love Fruegel Friday’s and this Skirt! Great pick, Kat, and at $20, who can go wrong!!!!! Blonde Lawyer may be right, but I have been told to pay cash at Target until they get their computer’s straitened out. They had what dad described as a data breech, where everyone’s data was exposed to 3rd world countrie’s, where peeople use your credit card to charge thing’s in Crimea and place’s like that where you can NOT verify whether the purchaeses were your’s! FOOEY on that.

    Dad said the Board of Director’s of Target is in troubel for NOT watcheing out that carfully for this and Butch said his company is advising Target on Corporate Govenence issue’s on that stuff. It is way to complicated for me, so I just said YES, I understand, even tho I had NO idea what he was talking about. Butch want’s me to go to the Hamton’s with him this weekend, but I said no b/c it is to early in the releationship for me to spend a weekend JUST with him, and I know that if I did, he would want to have sex with me. FOOEY b/c Alan did that and I let him and now look what hapened? He is still drinkeing and I got nothing out of it at all. Grandma Leyeh is wondering what hapened to the $ 50,000 she gave me. Dad invested it for me, tho she wanted it to be for “the baby”, but at this point, there is not even a guy in the picture to give me one! DOUBEL FOOEY!

    Yesterday, there was a p’ost from some woman who was askeing how many times a day we should have sex with our boyfreind’s and she said she did it 3x a day on the weekend’s and 2x a day on the weekday’s, I think. I would NOT want to have to be their cleaneing lady, b/c she would be in the laundry room every day, sometime’s more. I know that Alan would not be that PROLIFIC, but he alway’s made a mess that I had to deal with, so I would NEVER let Butch turn into another Alan.

    I think I will have ROSA get this skirt from Target for me. I am now back to size 2, b/c all the fitbit walkeing has now got my tuchus down to size. The worst that can happen is that it is to tight, and then I can donate the skirt to NY Care’s, and someone else with a smaller tuchus can wear it instead of me! YAY!!!!!!

    Have a nice weekend to the HIVE, and Kat and Kate (the new person). My computer is acting up so I may not be abel to post this afternoon, execept mabye from my I-Phone! YAY!!!!!
    Reply Report
    Bewitched :
    05/30/2014 at 1:58 pm

    Why is Ellen Anonymous today? Is it her way of taking a stand in favor of the “Anons”??!!

    ReplyDelete
  42. A short post where it is revealed that the judge may have authority to secure reimbursement for her on selected clothing. A fellow poster is disgusted at the lack of integrity in the judiciary..........

    Ellen :
    05/29/2014 at 2:38 pm

    Oh! Great pick, Kat! I love these pump’s! I am not sure I can use my clotheing allowance for these b/c they are open backed, and the manageing partner will NOT reimburse for sandal’s. I will tell him these are for WORK, and if the judge like’s them, I can get reimbursed. Mabye I should send the judge an email, with this picture, and if he say’s thumb’s up, I can get them? YAY!!!!!!
    Reply Report

    Marnie :
    05/29/2014 at 5:21 pm

    I think that judge is unprofessional and ought to be sanctioned. This is really no more than an odious form of sexual harassment, though not overt–you dress the way I like you win. This is unfair to the litigants if one party has the judge in her pocket, but unfair also to her because she is not winning on the merits.
    Reply Report

    ReplyDelete
  43. More on the managing partner's brother. I surely see him making a play for Ellen. Why wouldn't he?

    Ellen :
    05/29/2014 at 1:13 pm

    I agree with Rose’s. If it is made out of QUALITY LEATHER, it is OK (like my lit bag, onley better). If, ON THE OTHER HAND, it is made out of CANVASS, it is NOT accepteable. It is kind of like the OLD computer bag’s. Leather = OK, canvass = FOOEY!

    The mangeing partner will NOT reimburse for anything that is NOT matching leather to my shoe’s. Today the manageing partner’s brother came in. He is getting DIVORCED from his wife, and he asked me about “getteing a PAD in the City”. I think he think’s that when he move’s to the City, that women will be all over him, begging him to sleep with them. That is NOT goeing to happen. He is a 60 year old guy with a bald head and a big bald stomach to match. Just like the manageing partner, he has bad breathe, and I am sure Women will NOT want him to kiss them, let alone have sex with them. I think he think’s that b/c he has MONEY in the bank, that women will come flockeing! That may have been true in the 1980′s, but we are NOW profesional’s with our own job’s and our own MONEY. We do NOT need a man to suport us. YAY!!!!

    That is not good new’s to men over 60, who expect that women will just peel their clothe’s off after a dinner out with 2 drink’s. Mabye that worked on Mad Men, but that was in the 1960′s, when Mom and Dad were kid’s! Nowadays, we want a guy who is our EQUAL, not a guy who just wants us for sex. That is the reason I am haveing troubel finding a decent guy. There are plenty of guys out there, but MOST ALL are NOT worthy of me, Dad says. Even Grandma Leyeh agrees, tho she wonder’s if Alan would have been OK. FOOEY!
    Reply Report

    ReplyDelete
  44. Gosh, Ellenwatch is useless.






    Ellen :

    06/10/2014 at 10:57 am


    Yay! I love Ann Taylor, but this kind of Sateen is not something I am familear with. I also think it is a littel to short for me and my tuchus, especialy when I have to loose extra pound’s in the tuchus! But for those in the HIVE that are svelte, go for it, and leave the longer blazer’s for peeople like me with larger tuchuses!

    As for the OP, your manager must be distracted. Her family must be keepeing her busy. Just hold all e-mails b/c she said so, and then give them to her when she get’s back. If she scream’s, just tell her you were just doeing what she asked.

    The manageing partner’s brother asked me if I wanted to meet him for dinner tonite. He said he no longer eat’s at home and his soon to be ex does NOT cook for him any more. He said he know’s of a place on 63rd that is very swankey that we should go to. I have no idea what place is there, but I am to text him later and he will give direction’s to me later when he come’s into the city. Now I am in a quandrey b/c I was hopeing to go to L&T this evening for a special sale. Why does life have to be this dificult for me! FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
  45. Look's like the old geezer is looking for a place to park his withered pecker!




    Ellen :

    06/09/2014 at 3:55 pm


    Yay! I love Tory Burch, and I could buy this bag if I can convince the manageing partner that it would make me MORE organized!

    As for the OP, I can NOT imageing having any man in my office wear a short suit. Frank has spindeley leg’s, and so does the manageing partner, and he has MORE hair on his leg’s then he does on his head, which is bald. I have NOT seen Mason’s leg’s, and do NOT want to. I know Lynn has seen alot more then his leg’s up close and personal, b/c they have been goieng at it 24/7 all weekend and she is getting VERY paunchy. I sureley hope he did NOT make her pregneant b/c we would have to give her family leave under the Obama law and I might have to doubel as my OWN assisteant. FOOEY!

    The manageing partner want’s me to look with him at a place on 2nd Avenue– I supose I could take the bus instead of the subway in the winter, but I am walkeing anyway b/c of my tuchus. I have to leave now b/c our apointment with the realty guy is at 4:30 and we do NOT want to be late. I hope the manageing partner does not bring his brother up — that guy has now started to text me about apartements. Peeople in the open house’s think he is my dad, and when I say to them I am NOT his daughter, they then all start smileing at him, thinking I am his girlfreind and that he is having sex with me. DOUBEL FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
  46. I would never let a guy poke me just because his place had a/c!


    Ellen :

    06/09/2014 at 1:09 pm


    I agree with this person. When I was a first year summer intern, I tried to be freindley, yet professional. However, the male’s (not men) all thought that b/c I was freindley, that I was availeable for sexueal activity with them and they immedeately all made move’s on me thinkeing that I would be haveing sex with them. I learned right then and there NOT to be to freindley to men, especialy those that were within 10 years of my age and single, b/c they were the one’s most likeley to want to take me home for sex, and in DC, when it’s hot out, the best thing you can do is to find a place with good air condition, which is what these guy’s had at their apartement’s. Wow, did I learn NOT to go there after the first two guy’s put the move’s on me! FOOEY!


    ReplyDelete
  47. Myrna's Uncle vs. the Managing Partner's Brother -- 2 guys fighting but for a single woman. Can she handle both of them? Or will she piss off Myrna or her boss? I think she may wind up with more attention than she can handle this summer! Clearly, both are looking for a woman to deposit their junk!


    Ellen :

    06/09/2014 at 10:15 am


    Welcome to Stacy, a new poster! And a lawyer also! DOUBLE YAY!!!! I agree with LTIT that the dress is cute, but definiteley to low cut for the office! Fooey on guy’s like Frank that stare at our boobie’s if we wear this dress, tho I totaly LOVE DVF clotheing!

    Myrna’s uncle took me to the BELMONT Stake’s and we saw the horse loose. FOOEY, b/c I wanted a tripel crown. Myrna was mad b/c we did NOT get out of there until very late. THE LIRR did NOT have enough train’s for us, and we did NOT take Myrna’s car–the road’s were a mess also. So we ate food at the track, which was OK, and Myrna’s uncle was OK. He said I looked like an ex-girlfreind of his from college who wanted to MARRY him, but he did NOT want to marry her b/c she had bad breathe. I said I did NOT have bad breathe b/c I see the dentist alot and use a SONICARE, and he said he did NOT think I had bad breathe, but the onley way to tell is to sleep with a person and kiss them in the morning to find out. I said that he would there fore NOT be abel to tell w/me b/c I was NOT about to let him try that. He also put his arm around me during the races, which was wierd especialy b/c it was hot out and I do NOT like a man to do that when it is sweatey out. DOUBEL FOOEY! He lives somewhere upstate so I would NOT think we could be a coupel. Meanwhile, I have a few other’s calling who I do NOT want to. The manageing partner’s brother want’s to go apartement hunting again with me. I say he should just get a place and furnish it HIMSELF, but he wants me there. Myrna says he is moveing in on ME already! FOOEY b/c I do NOT want to date the manageing partner’s brother! I am sure he want’s to have sex b/c his wife has told him sex is in the past, so he has alot of pent up energy for sex. FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
  48. Someone needs to guide this woman or these men will be banging the bejesus out of her, and one of them porking her will "miss",with the birth control, and Ellen will get her wish of being a mom, soiled bedding aside.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nora is probably right, but where in the good god is Ellenwatch? Here is a post from Friday that illustrates the problem we are seeing with her. I am presuming this is the same Nora here as on Corporette:


      Ellen :

      06/13/2014 at 3:33 pm


      Yay! Open thread’s! I love Open thread’s and these sock’s! I am goeing to order sock’s for dad on line and tell them they will be delivered b/c he is away this weekend on some sort of reservist training. I think it’s so funny b/c he is still workeing in the defense of our country, even tho he is NOT the same guy that was in the Cold War during Glazznost, making the world free and at the same time having sex with alot of Eastern Europpean women instead of mom. I think it was OK b/c I was not born yet and they were NOT even MARRIED! Mom has her suspicon’s she told me b/c dad came home with a big rash down there and he said it was poision Ivey, but she made him get penecillin b/f she would do anything w/him! YAY for MOM!!!!

      I wanted to go out to LI this weekend, but have to gugggel 3 other guys this weekend and Sam too. FOOEY! I can onley imageine how busy I would be if my tuchus was in shape! All these men say they want me for my brain’s, but Myrna says it is my body first. If that is the case, I need to get married YESTERDAY, b/c my body is NOT what it used to be. FOOEY! By the end of the week, it is all I can do NOT to just want to crawl up and watch TV.

      Butch want’s me to consider dateing him exclusiveley, but I said NO. Soon he will expect sex from me. FOOEY on that! I think he could easeily become another Alan, who alway’s wanted sex, but useually petered out after 3 minute’s, soileing my Egyptian Cotton sheet’s and leaveing them for me to clean! FOOEY! I will be leaveing the office soon to find some food for dinner. I do NOT want ot cook anything. FOOEY! Have a great weekend, fellow HIVER’s!!!!! YAY!!!!!!

      Reply Report


      Nora :

      06/14/2014 at 1:29 pm


      Trust me. The way this woman is going, with her naïveté and hot body, she’ll be in a ménage a trios with these men by Labor Day and in labor by Groundhogs Day! The only question will be who the father is?

      Reply Report


      Delete
    2. Ellen :

      06/13/2014 at 11:39 am


      Yay!!!! Fruegel Friday’s! I love Fruegel Friday’s!

      As for the OP, I never knew there was a trial college before. At GW, which is where I went to school, there was college and there was LAW school, but NOT trial college. I would have LOVED to gone to a place that had a trial college b/c I think that by the time I was a JUNIOR, I kind of knew I wanted to be a lawyer, and if I had a chance to go to Trial College, I would have KNOWN ahead of time that I should be a trial lawyer. FOOEY ON ME FOR NOT KNOWING THIS.

      What schools has trial college? I should already know this, but this is the VERY first I have EVER heard of this. How about the rest of the HIVE? Is anyone else a Trial College Grad? YAY if they are!

      I am to meet Butch tonite and Myrna’s Uncle tomorrow, and the manageing partner’s brother keep’s texteing me. I am VERY busy and it is NOT even the 4th of July yet! YAY!!!!

      Delete
  49. Ellen now a fish expert? Who knew? I think most men would not have equated her with fishy things.
    Ellen :

    06/12/2014 at 2:51 pm


    Yay! I love this wedge, but I do NOT want to be a fashion SLAVE just to please MEN! FOOEY! Now the manageing partner told me I should wear a HIGHER hemline b/c it is summer, but I think it is just b/c he think’s the Judge want’s to see more of my leg’s. I hope that is NOT the case, but if it is, I worry b/c a shorter hemline acentuate’s my tuchus. FOOEY!

    As for the OP, you can make good fish at home if it is FRESH. Dad cook’s all the fish at home b/c he say’s mom does NOT know how to pick out fresh fish which HE learned when he was with the Army. He can tell if a fish is fresh w/o smeling it! I say if it stink’s, it is NOT fresh, and he agree’s, but he says even fish that does NOT stink is not as fresh as other fish. He say’s to look at the eye’s to see if they are glaazed over–all fish eye’s look the same to me. But if you go to a store, they will show you the fish eye’s if you ask b/f you buy it.

    Then, dad say’s to cook the fish THAT DAY. DO NOT, he says keep it overnite or it will stink. He know’s and he make’s a lot of fish for mom b/c mom need’s more protein. He also know’s a guy who catche’s fish in the Ocean, and he knows it is fresh when he gives it to dad.

    So good luck with the fish, and do NOT buy fish that you do not see the eye’s first. YAY!!!

    ReplyDelete
  50. Who is Cathy? I hope Mason does not wind up dropping Lynn, who is now porked out, for Cathy. I would hope not, particularly since he is now getting it regularly from Lynn, and there can be no assurance Cathy would find him attractive enough to bed.


    Ellen :

    06/12/2014 at 10:55 am


    Me to! Great Pick, Stacey!!!! I love this pink blouse and I love Bannana Republic. I think I will get it in PERSON b/c it is not far from where I walk. YAY!!!!! I walked to work today and it was schpritzeing out and I got my hair a little wetter then I like, so it is now frizzeing up. FOOEY b/c I should have brought my umbrella, but I had left it here! I think I will buy another umbrella that I can keep in my lit bag just in case it rain’s b/c I do NOT like to look like I got caught in the rain and I do NOT like putteing stuff in my hair to defrizze it.

    Butch called and he now want’s me to go w/him to watch Basketball at a sport’s bar tonite. I do NOT like to even watch sport’s, but especialy NOT at a sport’s bar where all these drunk’s are out there yelling and burpeing and spilleing their beer’s all over the place. The guy’s act like 12 year olds and they are NOT even playing the game. I think he said it is basketball. I went already to a couple of NET’s games, and that was OK b/c it was at the BARLCEAYS center in Brooklyn, but I do NOT like sitteing in bar’s with guy’s who think they are coacheing the team from the bar! FOOEY! So I said I do NOT think I want to go. He said we could meet for dinner first at a place I liked, but I said that I could not eat alot b/c I had eaten 1/2 of a cheezecake with Myrna last nite. He wondered how I could keep my tuchus in shape doeing that eateing and I said that that is why I walk so much.

    My freind from college is in town, and I told her I would show her what I do so I am meeteing her today downtown at lunch and we are goeing together into court (with Mason), and I am letting Mason handel ONE case in front of the judge. I do NOT want him to mess up my streak with the judge, so I will also stand up to introduce him so that the Judge know’s he is with me. YAY!!! Afterward’s, Cathy will go with us back to meet the manageing partner and the other’s at work. YAY!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  51. Ellen speaks truth. Me say Ellen can't spell, but she knows when to close her legs and can advise others on same.


    Ellen :

    06/11/2014 at 4:00 pm


    Hug’s to you. It sound’s like you MIGHT have bigger issues then the house. If your 30, your egg’s are not getting any fresher, and if you want kid’s, please be sure you want to have kid’s with him. If he resent’s you for not being a HANDIWOMAN, imagine how thing’s will be when you get pregenent, don’t have sex, then when the baby is born, haveing to get up at 3am to feed him/her. That, he will say, is a WOMAN’s job, b/c you did NOT do the fix-up for the dump you are liveing in (which he bought on his own!) FOOEY!

    I would make sure, before goieng off birthe control, that he realy want’s a kid, b/c that is a real life changer, far bigger than you not caulkeing the basement for him. DOUBEL FOOEY. If your marrage is NOT strong now, you had better let some better guy fertilize your egg’s before they go stale. FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
  52. Ellen :

    06/11/2014 at 4:00 pm


    Hug’s to you. It sound’s like you MIGHT have bigger issues then the house. If your 30, your egg’s are not getting any fresher, and if you want kid’s, please be sure you want to have kid’s with him. If he resent’s you for not being a HANDIWOMAN, imagine how thing’s will be when you get pregenent, don’t have sex, then when the baby is born, haveing to get up at 3am to feed him/her. That, he will say, is a WOMAN’s job, b/c you did NOT do the fix-up for the dump you are liveing in (which he bought on his own!) FOOEY!

    I would make sure, before goieng off birthe control, that he realy want’s a kid, b/c that is a real life changer, far bigger than you not caulkeing the basement for him. DOUBEL FOOEY. If your marrage is NOT strong now, you had better let some better guy fertilize your egg’s before they go stale. FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
  53. Here, Ellen consoles Tesyaa, sticking up for her when others think she was snarky. Ellen has a friend in Tesyaa:


    Ellen :

    06/11/2014 at 10:09 am


    Yay! We might be getting a new place to move that has air condition and private toilet’s that work! As for this top, I would like to wear it, b/c everyone would think I am pregnant–which is what I need to be, and QUICKLEY! But first, need a boyfreind and have him marry me. YAY!!!!

    Teseyaa, personaly, I think you are fine and not snearkey. It is OK to have an opinion even if other’s do NOT share it. God knows I am not the most malleable dad says, and that is why I am not MARRIED yet. He said that if I just did NOT have my own opinion’s that he would be a grandfather by now. FOOEY b/c I did NOT go to law school NOT to have opinion’s. In fact that is all judge’s do, and that is what I want to do–be a judge and write opinion’s –or at least have a cleark to write them for me. YAY!!! So Teseyaa, you go and keep haveing your own opinion’s. You are NOT snearkey! FOOEY on men that think we are snearkey! FOOEY!

    Reply Report


    tesyaa :

    06/11/2014 at 11:04 am


    Thanks, Ellen.

    Reply Report

    ReplyDelete
  54. It's more than a month, and still Ellenwatch has not made an appearance. I vote that she is ill; otherwise where in the good god is she? Ellen is near to losing her second virginity to the managing partner's brother, and she is not here to provide sage guidance? Ellen is already hinting that this guy could in the right circumstance be the father of her kids, but at other times, she is ambivelent, since she knows her future riches depend on keeping her job at the firm. Pissing off the managing partner is a no-no, and presumably pissing off the brother could also have negative consequences. I am concerned she will give the brother a free-bie, or more, since he has influence. Also, considering she's been dating losers without money, having an old rich guy poke her from time to time may be viewed by her as the price she has to pay. But I say no, don't do it. You don't want this guy in bed with you. Do not trust him if he says he only wants to "hold you". That includes things that will get you a mouthful of semen at the least, and at worst, pregnant or a very very sore tush. This is only worth if if the guy is your age, not your daddy's age. And this guy is having a field day now that he is separated from his wife, poking a bevy of different women, both in NYC as well as his hometown, whereever that is. I say watch it, and don't let it touch you, anywhere, if you get my drift.

    Here is evidence of same, which Ellenwatch is not posting, based on some feigned protesting.


    ==================

    Ellen :
    06/20/2014 at 3:24 pm

    Yay! Open thread’s!!!! I love open thread’s and this romper! I have a romper when I was in high school and all the guy’s were wondering why I wore it. Because I liked it dummie’s!!!!! Great pick, Kat!!!

    As for the OP, I think if you go to Savanah, you MUST eat at the Pink House. It has a great fireplace (not that you care this time of year), but the FOOD is also excelent! My dad took Rosa and me there when Rosa was lookeing to go to college down there. I went along b/c I was already a college girl, and mom told me to in order to keep dad in line. Dad knew a guy from the Army who recomended the Pink House, and it was great. I remember it and it was more then a few year’s ago when Rosa was lookeing to go to college. She has since GRADUEATED, MARRIED (ED), and has had kid’s. I have ONLEY gradueated, but also law school –YAY!!!

    The manageing partner has told me he will have a firm outeing in August. Margie is planning it and we will be spending alot more time on their boat — which I think is 53 foot long or something like that. The manageing partner’s brother is goeing to be there and he has already staked me out. He says I should come alone so that he can spend more time with me. I think he realy think’s that we will date, b/c he is lookeing to moove into my coop. FOOEY! The doorman told me that Angie, a realestate agent has peppered him with question’s about if he knows any 2 bedroom’s that are comeing open. The manageing partner’s brother wants a 2 bedroom so that he can have a spare room for when his other kid’s come over. Harold is old enough to go home at night but there are 2 others, age 8 and 11. He think’s I will be around all the time to hang out with them. What am I supposed to be –their den mother? Worse yet, will they think we are dateing? I am worried that peeople will think I am sleepeing with him! DOUBEL FOOEY!

    I have to meet him tonight b/c the agent has a place for him to look at. I hope he does not want to hang around with me and Myrna. TRIPEL FOOEY!!!!!
    Reply Report

    ReplyDelete
  55. Here was my reply to Ellen, which this blog could not handle with my earlier post:

    Angie :
    06/21/2014 at 3:12 pm

    Ellen, do not let the managing partner’s brother get into your romper. He’s a smooth operator, with kids no less, so he knows how to get to a woman. Do not let him fool you into thinking it is harmless, or before you know it, you’ll have your own young-un with this guy and he will hardly be the one to take on child support obligations, since he already has a wife with kids. Please do not listen to him when he says he will be careful. He won’t and then he’ll blame it on you, particularly if it happens in your apartment. Have Myrna shoo him away, if at all possible, but repeat, do NOT let him take your clothes off.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Here Ellen is smart enough to realize that men will stick their pipe into any woman that stays still long enough. Now that Lynn has been had by Mason, he is moving on to another woman. This is pitiful. Lynn should have been more careful, not opening up so quickly to Mason, and giving him free amd open access to all of her.

    Ellen :
    06/20/2014 at 9:51 am

    Yay! Fruegel Friday’s! I love Fruegel Friday’s and this PEEPLUM TOP, Kat! Great Pick, and not to expensive either. I think I could wear this on casueal Summer Friday’s, when I do NOT have to go into court. I can even walk into work like today with this Peplum top! Its so nice to be abel to wear a top that men can NOT waste so much time stareing at us b/c they show to much.

    My freind called and all of a sudden, Mason is very interested in her. Lynn is giveing me dirty looks b/c I think Mason must have said something about her to her. I kind of knew Mason could not be trusted. He is a user and is still useing Lynn (sleepeing over at her apartement b/c it is convenent, and then oogeling other women like my freind). My friend does NOT even know Mason exist’s, and I think that is why he is so interested. Lynn is the opposite. She has literaly bared everything to him (multiple times), so he has seen everything he need’s to see (and done everyting she is willing for him to do) so he figure’s that it is time to moove on. FOOEY on men that do this! I don’t know why I am stickeing up for Lynn, except b/c she is a woman and has given of herself like me and gotten NOTHING in return (other then dirty sheet’s, I supose).

    I think men like this have to be dealt with properly. We should NOT have sex with men that care only to have sex. DOUBEL FOOEY! Can’t we organize something to give us more power in the bedroom like this? I say we need to be more like the ladie’s that gave us what we have today, and NOT just do whatever men want for us to do. TRIPEL FOOEY! FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
  57. Ellen as a TV personality? I suppose if Katy Couric could do it, Ellen can too:

    Ellen :
    06/19/2014 at 2:30 pm

    I would LOVE to be on TV. I think I would like to get some exposure for my legal carreer, and if I was able to get on to TV, I could advertise the firm. The manageing partner said he is thinking of making a TV ad and if he doe’s, he want’s me to be the lead speaker. YAY!!!

    ReplyDelete
  58. Here Ellen is discussing pregnancy with another woman who has not gone through it. Perhaps Ellen is dreaming of getting pregnant with the managing partner's brother- She specifically looks back to Alan poking her with his thing while she is trying to sleep.

    Rachelellen :
    06/18/2014 at 5:25 pm

    Never been pregnant and don’t want to be but I wouldn’t change the possibility of it. Just like I have made my peace with the natural coloring I wound up with, or the fact that I’m curvy and can’t wear certain brands or styles, or whatever. I know it’s a much more profound question, but for me it’s all about just accepting what is. Women get the pain and discomfort but also the beautiful intimate experience of carrying life. Men get neither the risk mor the reward.
    Reply Report

    Ellen :
    06/18/2014 at 6:49 pm

    You are alot like me, and even have a name somewhat SIMILEAR to me. I also have NOT had a baby YET, but look forward to it AFTER I have secured a boyfreind that will MARRY me. I figure that if I spend 9 month’s carrying our child, then I should be abel to give the baby to my husband and tell him what to do from that POINT forward. that is what MARRAGE is all about. Shareing. I also want HIM to clean the baby at night if I am sleepeing b/c I think I will still be workeing for the manageing partner for a while. I also do NOT want my husband trying to make me have sex with him if I am tired, which I will be after the baby is born, especialy if I am still workeing. I remember Alan comeing in while I was just about sleepeing and all of a sudden I would feel his thing pokeing at me. That is NOT aceptable if I have t work the next day. Men should know that. Mabye they should read Corporette and they would learn. YAY!!!-heaven help her!

    ReplyDelete
  59. Now Ellen is getting an MBA? I don't think she will go through with this.


    Ellen :
    06/18/2014 at 1:41 pm

    Great topic, Kat! Yay! The manageing partner think’s I should be getteing an MBA. The manageing partner told him how smart I was and he thought I should be runneing thing’s after he retire’s! The onley probelem is that I do NOT like quantiteative thing’s and do NOT do good spreadsheet’s. Alan told me that is all they do in MBA school and I should stick to Law.

    I think he is wrong. Shouldnt we do what we want, and not what our boyfreind’s tell us? I say, therefore that we get our MBA’s so we are NOT dependant on men to suport us. FOOEY on men that think that we should just say and do what they want us to! We are mature women and should be treated as such! YAY!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  60. Ellen getting hit by bird shit! Only in NYC is this a problem, but usually on the SI ferry. I suppose being on the East Side, there are more birds, but still! I think if Ellen has to shed her clothing for anyone, it should be Butch, not the managing partner's brother. No self respecting young woman wants to stimulate an ancient codpiece, even if money is promised.

    Ellen :
    06/18/2014 at 10:09 am

    Yay! I agree with this po’st! I think that some peeople are talker’s and other’s are listener’s. Personaly, I am a listener more then a talker. So if someone say’s something I will alway’s respond with at least something SHORT and sweet, then if I want to expand, I can, but do NOT have to.

    BTW, Kat, this is a beautiful herringbone jacket! I could NOT, however, walk in to work w/it b/c I would sweat up the white, or a pidgeon would surely find me and poop on the white. They think it is like pooping in the river, but it is worse when it is on you. FOOEY!

    I walked in today and it was sweatey out, but I got alot of step’s in b/c I stopped at GCT and got a YUMMY smoothie for the rest of the walk. I think I finally have my tuchus down to a size 2, and will try on my batheing suit this weekend. Butch want’s me to go to the Hamton’s with him, and mabye I will, but I do NOT want him grabbeing at me. DOUBEL FOOEY! Men think that b/c you go out with them that they can be grabbey, but I say NO grabbeing w/o my consent. Dad still want’s to meet him, but I told him not until after the 4th of July. YAY!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  61. Here, Ellen was smart enough not to "date" (i.e. screw) her college teachers. I hope now that she is older (and no longer virginal) that she will resist the temptation to fellate the managing partner's brother.

    Ellen :
    06/17/2014 at 4:16 pm

    Yay! Kat, I love the name and will show the manageing partner, b/c his wife is named Margie! Also, these are nice pump’s, but I prefer 4″ heel’s b/c they make me look a littel taller!

    As for the OP, I agree you can alway’s tell them your old boss was a whack-a-doodel, but you must be carful in a small industry b/c peeople know each other, and it could come back to bite you in the tuchus! When I was in college, the English professor wanted me to come to his office, so I did, and when I got there, he said we should date. I think he was about 55 then, and I was about 19, so I said he was to mature for me. When I told my TA, he said I was right, but then he asked if I would date him. He had a beard with food in it so I said no, and then he gave me a bad grade. I found out those 2 talked about me and that is why I got a bad grade. FOOEY on them. It goe’s to show you should never tell your TA anything BAD about the PROF, b/c you are sure to get a bad grade unless you date BOTH! DOUBEL FOOEY on that especialy b/c one was old and the other had a filthy beard with food in it! I would NOT want that kissing me. TRIPEL FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
  62. Here we get conflicting signals. Will she or won't she give of her body to this new man in her life. I pray she not give him any kind of signal that she is available for him, or he will be all over her. He's the kind of guy to buy her something from Victoria's Secret, then promptly rip it off and hump like a hungry camel. No thanks!

    Carla :
    06/17/2014 at 1:10 pm

    “Change, by its very nature, is different — and different sometimes means unexpected.”

    This sentence is making my head hurt. Does it mean anything?
    Reply Report

    Ellen :
    06/17/2014 at 1:35 pm

    Carla, This sentence is suposed to be sage advice. Usueally spoken by someone who know’s alot, and it’s also on some cereal boxe’s!

    The post is very good, Kat. I also lived in DC, but never had to move anywhere b/c of my husband, b/c I did not ever have a husband. I would like one, but do NOT want him to rule my life. In fact, if the need be, I want HIM to move for ME! YAY! That is what equality is suposed to be all about, right? Speakeing of which, now the manageing partner’s brother want’s to move into MY coop, and he want’s me to VOOCH for him. I am NOT even aware of any apartement’s open in my coop but he said he would have “his girl” find out. Who is “his girl”? I hope he is NOT thinkeing that I am? FOOEY! I cannot fathom the thought of me and him in the same place and the manageing partner over 2x a week for dinner! DOUBEL FOOEY! I will have to await his meaning. I do NOT like text’s. They are so criptic. TRIPEL FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
  63. A hilarious comment about Ellen eating Bear Claws!! Plus, more evidence that Mason, having plowed Lynn, is looking for someone new to screw. Men are pigs. And the managing partner's brother insists on it 2x a day! No thanks. I can't even think of an old pecker like him doing me once a month, let alone 2x / day!

    Ellen :
    06/17/2014 at 9:46 am

    Yay! Great Dress, Kat! Perfect for me b/c of the high neck line and also the sleeve’s! No way for Frank to peek! FOOEY!

    As for the OP, welcome to the Colonie’s! If your comeing for the holiday, be sure to go to see the firework’s. Diblazzio has mooved them to the East Side, so you can see them if your there, or in Brooklyn or in Queens. Diblazzio is the new mayor, and he is tryeing, but so far, he is no Blumburg. I will give him a chance, b/c he is the mayor, and should be given a chance.

    Mason keeps askeing about my freind from college we had over on Friday. I think he think’s that he is some kind of stud b/c he is with Lynn but he want’s more VARIETY now. FOOEY on men that want VARIETY. What is Lynn to do now that Mason has had her? She is NOT about to find another boyfreind in THIS firm, and the only men that were NUZZELEING around her were the IT guy’s and the janitor for the building, who I think would have sex with her in a NY Minute, but they are NOT marrage material. I will NOT provide ANY informaiton about Cathy to Mason — such a doosh — and he should stick with Lynn now that he has had her for week’s now. Speakeing of Brookyn, Frank brought a box of donut’s and danish in from Brooklyn, and I ate 2 Bear Claw’s after other’s did NOT want the second one. Why do I do this to myself? Just when my tuchus was starting to look good, I eat 2 bear claw’s. FOOEY! I wish someone would just put me out of my own MISERY at this point, or else just MARRY me so that I would NOT care if I were overwieght. Mabye the manageing partner’s brother wouldn’t care, but I do NOT want to have to have sex with him every day and night like he want’s. DOUBEL FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
  64. Here's Ellen explaining how to eat at a firm luncheon:

    AnonLawMom :
    06/16/2014 at 1:31 pm

    Thought of a few more. Don’t be the only person to order a starter/salad/soup. It is really awkward when everyone else is just watching you eat and waiting for their meals.

    Also, be very aware of your restaurant manners. Many attorneys are former restaurant servers and we notice when you are rude to wait staff, even when it is subtle.
    Reply Report

    Ellen :
    06/16/2014 at 2:10 pm

    Yes, I agree. When I was a summer associate after college, I ordered LINGUINI as an appetizer, and everyone else did NOT so they all did NOTHING but look at me, and I wound up spilling some of the sauce on my skirt. The senior manager (a female) offered to help me dab it off, but it was to close to my boobie’s so I said NO THANK YOU. I did NOT get any kind of offer to come back when I was a real law student from that firm. FOOEY! No one told me!
    Reply Report
    Susie :
    06/16/2014 at 3:09 pm

    Ellen dear, perhaps you need a better bra if you spill sauce on your skirt and it is too close to your b00bies.

    ReplyDelete
  65. More on the managing partner's brother, now fighting with the bald son over the potential for access to Ellen's privates. The thought of that old bald schmuck poking her is something awful. Even the son is an awful alternative. Who needs a bald skateboarder w/o a decent job. Personally, I would only let a guy in who has got money, a good job, and a $75,000 car. The only one that comes close now is Butch. I recommend Ellen go for him bigtime and leave the rest of these ass-holes at the starting gate!.

    Ellen :
    06/16/2014 at 9:38 am

    Yay! Pricey Monday’s! I love pricey Monday’s and Tory Birch also!

    I had a nice weekend, tho my plan’s changed when dad got mad I would not be there even tho Rosa and the Kid’s and Ed were. So I had to go. I told him his sock’s were in the mail. Rosa got dad a Tablet (computer), and dad said it was a crummey one so Rosa took it back and gave it to the kid’s to play with. Dad say’s he want’s one of those NEW surface tablet’s, not the cheep one’s they are trying to get rid of in the store’s and on the INTERNET.

    At least he is being smart. He say’s it pay’s to get the best. I think he is right and that is why I am NOT married. B/C there are plenty of FISH in the sea, but most are smelley. FOOEY! I want a fresh fish, Grandma Leyeh says, and she know’s b/c she did NOT get MARRIED until she was OVER 20, which was OLD back then.
    Myrna’s uncle and the manageing partner’s brother are now BOTH texteing me to do stuff. If the manageing partner’s brother is loneley, he should NOT divorce Harold’s mom. I never met her, but figure she is probabley NOT goieng to have sex with another man right away, even tho the manageing partner’s brother keep’s telleing me how VIRALE he is. Do I realley want Harold’s dad on top of me, huffeing and puffeing and then rolling off me? NO WAY HOZE! I do NOT even want HAROLD to do that, and he is much younger then his dad. GROSS! Just b/c a guy has money does NOT mean that we women have to become their sexueal object’s. There need’s to be more then sex. FOOEY!

    I am goieng to court tomorrow with Mason. He need’s to stop hangeing around Lynn at the office b/c he is NOT doieng enough prep work on the case’s. He can (and doe’s) see Lynn outside of work, so I realy do NOT see what the need is to be sniffeing around her all day! FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
  66. This is what I've been saying. Thank you, Nora. We have to stick together and keep guys like this from soiling us!

    Ellen :
    06/13/2014 at 3:33 pm

    Yay! Open thread’s! I love Open thread’s and these sock’s! I am goeing to order sock’s for dad on line and tell them they will be delivered b/c he is away this weekend on some sort of reservist training. I think it’s so funny b/c he is still workeing in the defense of our country, even tho he is NOT the same guy that was in the Cold War during Glazznost, making the world free and at the same time having sex with alot of Eastern Europpean women instead of mom. I think it was OK b/c I was not born yet and they were NOT even MARRIED! Mom has her suspicon’s she told me b/c dad came home with a big rash down there and he said it was poision Ivey, but she made him get penecillin b/f she would do anything w/him! YAY for MOM!!!!

    I wanted to go out to LI this weekend, but have to gugggel 3 other guys this weekend and Sam too. FOOEY! I can onley imageine how busy I would be if my tuchus was in shape! All these men say they want me for my brain’s, but Myrna says it is my body first. If that is the case, I need to get married YESTERDAY, b/c my body is NOT what it used to be. FOOEY! By the end of the week, it is all I can do NOT to just want to crawl up and watch TV.

    Butch want’s me to consider dateing him exclusiveley, but I said NO. Soon he will expect sex from me. FOOEY on that! I think he could easeily become another Alan, who alway’s wanted sex, but useually petered out after 3 minute’s, soileing my Egyptian Cotton sheet’s and leaveing them for me to clean! FOOEY! I will be leaveing the office soon to find some food for dinner. I do NOT want ot cook anything. FOOEY! Have a great weekend, fellow HIVER’s!!!!! YAY!!!!!!
    Reply Report

    Nora :
    06/14/2014 at 1:29 pm

    Trust me. The way this woman is going, with her naïveté and hot body, she’ll be in a ménage a trios with these men by Labor Day and in labor by Groundhogs Day! The only question will be who the father is?

    ReplyDelete
  67. This shows that Ellen is not the most worldly, and needs our protection.

    Ellen :
    06/13/2014 at 11:39 am

    Yay!!!! Fruegel Friday’s! I love Fruegel Friday’s!

    As for the OP, I never knew there was a trial college before. At GW, which is where I went to school, there was college and there was LAW school, but NOT trial college. I would have LOVED to gone to a place that had a trial college b/c I think that by the time I was a JUNIOR, I kind of knew I wanted to be a lawyer, and if I had a chance to go to Trial College, I would have KNOWN ahead of time that I should be a trial lawyer. FOOEY ON ME FOR NOT KNOWING THIS.

    What schools has trial college? I should already know this, but this is the VERY first I have EVER heard of this. How about the rest of the HIVE? Is anyone else a Trial College Grad? YAY if they are!

    I am to meet Butch tonite and Myrna’s Uncle tomorrow, and the manageing partner’s brother keep’s texteing me. I am VERY busy and it is NOT even the 4th of July yet! YAY!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  68. Ellen as the fisherman's daughter! A true gourmand!

    Ellen :
    06/12/2014 at 2:51 pm

    Yay! I love this wedge, but I do NOT want to be a fashion SLAVE just to please MEN! FOOEY! Now the manageing partner told me I should wear a HIGHER hemline b/c it is summer, but I think it is just b/c he think’s the Judge want’s to see more of my leg’s. I hope that is NOT the case, but if it is, I worry b/c a shorter hemline acentuate’s my tuchus. FOOEY!

    As for the OP, you can make good fish at home if it is FRESH. Dad cook’s all the fish at home b/c he say’s mom does NOT know how to pick out fresh fish which HE learned when he was with the Army. He can tell if a fish is fresh w/o smeling it! I say if it stink’s, it is NOT fresh, and he agree’s, but he says even fish that does NOT stink is not as fresh as other fish. He say’s to look at the eye’s to see if they are glaazed over–all fish eye’s look the same to me. But if you go to a store, they will show you the fish eye’s if you ask b/f you buy it.

    Then, dad say’s to cook the fish THAT DAY. DO NOT, he says keep it overnite or it will stink. He know’s and he make’s a lot of fish for mom b/c mom need’s more protein. He also know’s a guy who catche’s fish in the Ocean, and he knows it is fresh when he gives it to dad.

    So good luck with the fish, and do NOT buy fish that you do not see the eye’s first. YAY!!!

    ReplyDelete
  69. Nice progression here.

    Ellen :
    06/12/2014 at 10:55 am

    Me to! Great Pick, Stacey!!!! I love this pink blouse and I love Bannana Republic. I think I will get it in PERSON b/c it is not far from where I walk. YAY!!!!! I walked to work today and it was schpritzeing out and I got my hair a little wetter then I like, so it is now frizzeing up. FOOEY b/c I should have brought my umbrella, but I had left it here! I think I will buy another umbrella that I can keep in my lit bag just in case it rain’s b/c I do NOT like to look like I got caught in the rain and I do NOT like putteing stuff in my hair to defrizze it.

    Butch called and he now want’s me to go w/him to watch Basketball at a sport’s bar tonite. I do NOT like to even watch sport’s, but especialy NOT at a sport’s bar where all these drunk’s are out there yelling and burpeing and spilleing their beer’s all over the place. The guy’s act like 12 year olds and they are NOT even playing the game. I think he said it is basketball. I went already to a couple of NET’s games, and that was OK b/c it was at the BARLCEAYS center in Brooklyn, but I do NOT like sitteing in bar’s with guy’s who think they are coacheing the team from the bar! FOOEY! So I said I do NOT think I want to go. He said we could meet for dinner first at a place I liked, but I said that I could not eat alot b/c I had eaten 1/2 of a cheezecake with Myrna last nite. He wondered how I could keep my tuchus in shape doeing that eateing and I said that that is why I walk so much.

    My freind from college is in town, and I told her I would show her what I do so I am meeteing her today downtown at lunch and we are goeing together into court (with Mason), and I am letting Mason handel ONE case in front of the judge. I do NOT want him to mess up my streak with the judge, so I will also stand up to introduce him so that the Judge know’s he is with me. YAY!!! Afterward’s, Cathy will go with us back to meet the manageing partner and the other’s at work. YAY!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  70. At times, Ellen is wise beyond her tender years. But I still think she needs guidance from us, and in particular, Ellenwatch.

    Ellenwatch, please remove yourself from the shadows and start reposting, with your commentary. We miss it, and want for you to get your fingers back on the keyboard and out of your private parts even if only for the 10 minutes a day this takes.

    That is not too much to ask, is it?

    Ellen :
    06/11/2014 at 4:00 pm

    Hug’s to you. It sound’s like you MIGHT have bigger issues then the house. If your 30, your egg’s are not getting any fresher, and if you want kid’s, please be sure you want to have kid’s with him. If he resent’s you for not being a HANDIWOMAN, imagine how thing’s will be when you get pregenent, don’t have sex, then when the baby is born, haveing to get up at 3am to feed him/her. That, he will say, is a WOMAN’s job, b/c you did NOT do the fix-up for the dump you are liveing in (which he bought on his own!) FOOEY!

    I would make sure, before goieng off birthe control, that he realy want’s a kid, b/c that is a real life changer, far bigger than you not caulkeing the basement for him. DOUBEL FOOEY. If your marrage is NOT strong now, you had better let some better guy fertilize your egg’s before they go stale. FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
  71. This is downright pathetic. Ellenwatch, clearly you aren't living up to your name, as you have, in all likelihood, stopped even WATCHING Ellen, let alone rendering any informed opinions on her life. The time has come for you to give it up -- not in the bedroom, but in the blogosphere. If we don't hear from you, we will stop visiting, and I will stop doing your job. If there is something wrong with you, speak up, as we are not clairvoyant. If you just prefer getting it in the tuchus, and your boyfriend / husband is accommodating you now, cheers to you, but at least inform us before we just stop visiting here. I sincerely hope nothing is wrong, healthwise, with you, inasmuch as you must remember to take certain precautions if you engage in risky sex, which really is no more than using condoms, and not starting, but finishing with anal.

    ReplyDelete
  72. Here is Ellen, right out of the gate on Monday. The managing partner's brother, who I do not believe has been blessed with a name, is front and center, libido and all, making a play for Ellen. But he is fat, bald, and old, so I doubt Ellen will be hitting the sheets with this loser.

    Ellen :
    06/23/2014 at 9:33 am

    Yay! Splurge Monday’s! I love this dress — it is the kind that Katy Kourick can look great in, great seleaction, and she just got MARRIED! Yay!

    I would love to have this dress, but I think the onley way I could aford it is if the manageing partner’s brother buy’s it for me. He wanted to take me and Myrna shoppeing on Saturday but I said we did NOT want to go inside–I am afreaid that if he start’s buying me stuff that I will be in an awkeaward position–haveing to PLEASE both him and the manageing partner, and it is already clear that the manageing partner has pushed him to get me to show him around the city. I am just more then a littel concerned that this will lead to more b/c I am sure he will find out that just b/c he has money, there will NOT be alot of 30 something’s opening up their door’s and themselve’s to his overture’s. He is a 62 year old man, without much hair and a with a pretty big stomach. FOOEY!

    What would the HIVE do if they were me? This is a dillemna that I have NOT figured out and I do NOT want to tell DAD about him b/c he is about the same age as DAD. I am sure dad would ruin everything at the firm if he thought that the manageing partner’s brother were interested in me. DOUBEL FOOEY! On the other hand, I do NOT want to get into a situeation where I am forced to keep the manageing partner’s brother happy, which could EXTEND to his libido, which he keep’s telling me and Myrna, is unsachiable! TRIPLE FOOEY! FOOEY on men that think we are excited by a bald guy’s sexueal libido’s. FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
  73. Here, Ellen cheers a fellow female who is trying to get a raise (dollars, not penile) out of her boss. She also now speaks (ugh) of a potential physical relationship with either Butch, or the brother, both of whom would surely bed her, but hopefully, she will have some reservations before letting them penetrate the holy gates.

    Ellen :
    06/23/2014 at 3:03 pm

    Yay! Congratuealation’s for being a great trooper and representative for us women! HUGS to you for standeing up for you and all of us! That is how we all get ahead! When I came to my job, the manageing partner said I was a real bargan, and I knew it b/c I did NOT want to keep doeing process serveing, getting my tuchus pinched by all these sleazebag’s in the garment district. So I worked for very littel. But the next year, when it came time for raises, I told Dad I was worth more then the manageing partner was paying me. Dad taught me a coupel of tricks, so when I used them on the manageing partner, he of course doubeled my salary b/c he did NOT want to loose me. Fast foward 3 year’s and I am a PARTNER, all thank’s to DAD. YAY DAD, even tho Dad is alway’s telling me to loose wieght! FOOEY–it is NOT easy to stay a size 2 when sitting on my tuchus all day writeing breifs for the judge.

    So now that you too have brooched the subject of a pay raise, you will make more and open the door for all of us women to get what we deserve for hard work. FOOEY on men that do not want to pay us women full pay for what we do, and think of us onley as sex object’s. Even Butch think’s I would be better as a mother then as a lawyer. I said why can’t I be BOTH! I will alway’s be a lawyer, but need to be a mother VERY soon, or as grandma Leyeh says, my eggs will go flat. FOOEY! I am thinkeing that Butch onley want’s me in Bed, not goeing to work every day on the LIRR or Metro North, if we are to marry and move to Chapaqua. My other alternative is to marry the manageing partner’s brother, who also thinks of me sexueally, but will probabley let me do what I want, as long as he has his libido satisfied. FOOEY! I am not anxius to have to have him slobbering all over me 2x a day. It will take me an extra hour each day to shower off afterward’s! DOUBEL FOOEY! But if anything should happen to him while he is haveing sex, I will need a large insurence settelment. TRIPEL FOOEY! For now, he is being somewhat of a gentelman, keepeing his hands (and his other stuff) to himself. But Myrna say’s it wont be long before he proposition’s me for sex and marrage. FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
  74. Here, we find Ellen giving good advice, and getting some recognition from the hive for so doing. As usual, she is extremely positive on life, even tho she has had some setbacks on the money front. At least she has dad as a backstop in the financial department.

    Ellen :
    06/24/2014 at 9:36 am

    Great Blazer, Kat, –better for Rosa, so I will show her and have her mabye go to Nordstrom’s down in White Plains. Personaly, it is to svelte for my tuchus in the back, so I try to buy blazer’s with a bit more flair in the back so that peeople aren’t directed directley to my tuchus.

    As for the OP, I agree you should keep it. As long as it is LEATHER, you should be fine and will be abel to use it for year’s to come! YAY!!! Speakeing of Leather, the manageing partner’s brother stopped by weareing a black leather jacket — a motor cycle jacket with zipper’s on it and even chain’s. I think he think’s he is some kind of motorcyle bandit, and he thought I thought he would look cool (he said so). The onley thing I know is that most motorcycle dude’s look more like Patrick Swazee, and not like Al Roker, so I did NOT think he looked so cool as he said he did.

    Rosa called to tell me about an accident Sari made in Dad’s new Escaleade. Rosa was sitteing in the back seat with her and when she made poopie, Rosa made the mistake of tryeing to change her back there. It was more then a Fooey! Sari wound up makeing a mess on the leather seat’s and on the carpet, and Dad was VERY unhappy — With ROSA, for not waiteing to get out of the car with Sari before changeing her. Dad now has to get the car cleaned and detailed inside b/c it lost it’s new car smell insteantly! Dad is NOT happy and told Rosa NOT to bring the baby into the car next time unless her tank is empty! How funny! I am sure that both me and Rosa did this plenty of times when we were groweing up, but back then, dad was NOT driveing an Escealade. I remember us driving in a Ford something, and it was NOT a pretty car. I do NOT think it had leather seat’s either! FOOEY on DAD for yelling at Rosa. She was onley cleaning the baby up b/c the baby needed to go. That is onley natural. I hope that when I have a baby, Dad will be nicer when my baby has to go poopie in the car. FOOEY on Dad.
    Reply Report

    Kathryn :
    06/24/2014 at 9:46 am

    Thanks In the Pink! And also, a bit excited for my first Ellen response :)
    Reply Report
    Rachelellen :
    06/24/2014 at 12:42 pm

    Hahahaha!

    ReplyDelete
  75. Here we have some spirited conversation between the hive members over their feelings for Ellen. Some love her and look forward to her posts, and others are not. We fall into the first camp -- go Ellen! We think those in the other camp are in all likelihood jealous of the fact that Ellen is in a position to get it from multiple guys but is keeping them at arms length (or at least at penile length), retaining her femininity while driving some of these guys to have to find other sexual outlets. Ellen :
    06/24/2014 at 12:05 pm

    Oh, I LOVE Numari dresse’s! Great selection, Kat!!! These dresses realy do fit like a glove, which mean’s that after I buy one, I need to keep my tuchus exactley as it is when I am fitted. I think I will buy a dress so that I can stay fitted to that size. YAY!!!!

    Over the last 3 week’s I have worked very hard to get ready for summer and fitteing into my batheing suit for the Hamton’s! I think I am ready b/c Frank said he cant even see my tuchus anymore, which is actueally good news — of course it is still there– the manageing partner’s brother was leeereing at my tuchus this weekend, and even Myrna says I am getting svelte. I have not had cake for 3 day’s now. YAY!!!!

    The manageing partner’s brother also texted me today to ask if I wanted to go to the Met with him. I do NOT know if he is talkeing about the Opera or the Museum. I do NOT want to act stupid by askeing, but it realy could be either. I realy want to go to the OPERA and I also like the museum, which has alot of art and statue’s, but I do NOT want to go if all he doe’s is take me to the naked painting’s and start stareing at them (and me). FOOEY!
    Reply Report

    NB4R :
    06/24/2014 at 12:41 pm

    How do you find the time and motivation to keep up this charade?
    Reply Report
    A to Z :
    06/24/2014 at 1:05 pm

    Agreed. Does anyone actually read / like these Ellen posts?
    Reply Report
    Anonymous :
    06/24/2014 at 1:52 pm

    I do. Not every single one of them, but still. I love Ellen.
    Reply Report
    Anon :
    06/24/2014 at 2:34 pm

    I know it’s supposed to be a joke, but it’s not really funny. She/he gets an A+ for persistence, though.
    Reply Report
    McGiggles :
    06/24/2014 at 2:53 pm

    I do. Don’t read them all the time but find the whole general storyline of her life very entertaining.
    Reply Report
    Really? :
    06/24/2014 at 10:55 pm

    I was just wondering the same thing. I’m a bit surprised at how long this trend has survived.

    ReplyDelete
  76. A hilarious story about Dad's new car and grandchild, Sari, who made a mess in it. Kudos to her. Needless to say, in years to come, Dad will be sure to shit on her.

    Ellen :
    06/25/2014 at 9:40 am

    This is a beautiful Pencil Skirt, and it is not to expensive, either! I will show the manageing partner and I am SURE I can get it reimbursed. Dad say’s that I have saved over $3000 thru the reimbursement’s, but I realy did NOT need all of the clotheing I have bought. He is also mad that I gave so much clotheing to NY Cares, but he is WRONG b/c the peeople who get that realy do use the clotheing, even if I dont. So there is another example where giveing to NY Cares, and other charatie’s are good for society. YAY!!

    I wonder if Kat is considereing doeing a column on giveing away clotheing? She may have, but I just missed it. I think it would be good for the websight to have peeople give away the clotheing they are NOT useing so that they will have more room in their closet’s for NEW clotheing. That is my theory and it also will help the economy by ENCOURAGEING ladie’s like us to go out and increase the GDP. (This means GROSS DOMESTIC PRODUCT, according to Myrna). Myrna does NOT even wear that fashionable clotheing like me but she is goeing to put something in place where she works, both for MEN and WOMEN, tho I think this sight should just focus on us giveing our clotheing to NY Cares or whatever charaty is in your citie’s.

    BTW, I asked mom about the car we had when I was young, and it was a MERCURY SABEL. I remember it was a very funny lookeing car, but Dad kept driveing it when Rosa was a baby so I am sure Mom must have changed her diaper’s in that car while Dad drove. Mom said Dad did NOT yell at her when either Rosa or me had to be changed, and Mom said we had to be changed ALOT! So I just think Dad is getting cranky now that there is another generation of poopie to be dealt with, but Mom said he was heading out afterward’s to meet some of his freinds at the Country Club afterward and could NOT take them in the car because of Sari. I say that is life. To bad. The car survived. So just say FOOEY and move on, Dad, and everyone else that has a fit when thier baby need’s to go to the bathroom. FOOEY!

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  77. More on the unhygenic office where Ellen must work. And the manageing partner's brother is definitely on the make and anxious to get to Ellen. She needs help from the hive, or Ellenwatch. Where are they?

    Ellen :
    06/25/2014 at 9:40 am

    This is a beautiful Pencil Skirt, and it is not to expensive, either! I will show the manageing partner and I am SURE I can get it reimbursed. Dad say’s that I have saved over $3000 thru the reimbursement’s, but I realy did NOT need all of the clotheing I have bought. He is also mad that I gave so much clotheing to NY Cares, but he is WRONG b/c the peeople who get that realy do use the clotheing, even if I dont. So there is another example where giveing to NY Cares, and other charatie’s are good for society. YAY!!

    I wonder if Kat is considereing doeing a column on giveing away clotheing? She may have, but I just missed it. I think it would be good for the websight to have peeople give away the clotheing they are NOT useing so that they will have more room in their closet’s for NEW clotheing. That is my theory and it also will help the economy by ENCOURAGEING ladie’s like us to go out and increase the GDP. (This means GROSS DOMESTIC PRODUCT, according to Myrna). Myrna does NOT even wear that fashionable clotheing like me but she is goeing to put something in place where she works, both for MEN and WOMEN, tho I think this sight should just focus on us giveing our clotheing to NY Cares or whatever charaty is in your citie’s.

    BTW, I asked mom about the car we had when I was young, and it was a MERCURY SABEL. I remember it was a very funny lookeing car, but Dad kept driveing it when Rosa was a baby so I am sure Mom must have changed her diaper’s in that car while Dad drove. Mom said Dad did NOT yell at her when either Rosa or me had to be changed, and Mom said we had to be changed ALOT! So I just think Dad is getting cranky now that there is another generation of poopie to be dealt with, but Mom said he was heading out afterward’s to meet some of his freinds at the Country Club afterward and could NOT take them in the car because of Sari. I say that is life. To bad. The car survived. So just say FOOEY and move on, Dad, and everyone else that has a fit when thier baby need’s to go to the bathroom. FOOEY!

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  78. Ellen being helpful to the Hive. Now the bald, fat brother is looking to move in where Ellen lives. Can she preserve her maidenhood, or whatever is left of it after Allen Sheketovitz? I am pretty sure he got that years ago, but we don't know for sure.

    Ellen :
    06/26/2014 at 10:51 am

    Great blouse, Kat–I can wear this under a blazer any time of the year! And it’s not to expensive either. YAY!!!

    As for the OP, Hug’s to you. Nearley all of us have been there — and we are ALWAY’S trying to loose those last 5-10 pound’s! As the other’s have said, it is only the 4th of July, and you have time to loose the pound’s. I recomend you get a FITBIT and measure your self and your progress, but do NOT give your dad the password to your FITBIT, or he will be watching you from his computer to make sure you are doeing your step’s. FOOEY b/c I do NOT do 10,000 step’s every day, and dad is the FIRST one on the phone to scold me by telling me that I will NEVER get married if the first thing peeople see is my tuchus. FOOEY b/c men seem NOT to mind that much–in fact the manageing partner’s brother likes my tuchus. He said it is alot smaller then his wive’s tuchus, who is soon to be his ex. He found an apartement in the building and is goeing to apply to the Board. He wanted me to recomend him, but the board bareley let me in. The lady who is chairwoman does NOT like me — she said I should NOT bring men into my apartement until after I am engaged, but I said that is not fair b/c men bring women in all the time for sex. FOOEY b/c ever since Alan, I do NOT let men have sex with me anyway, even in the apartement.


    Ellen :
    06/26/2014 at 10:51 am

    Great blouse, Kat–I can wear this under a blazer any time of the year! And it’s not to expensive either. YAY!!!

    As for the OP, Hug’s to you. Nearley all of us have been there — and we are ALWAY’S trying to loose those last 5-10 pound’s! As the other’s have said, it is only the 4th of July, and you have time to loose the pound’s. I recomend you get a FITBIT and measure your self and your progress, but do NOT give your dad the password to your FITBIT, or he will be watching you from his computer to make sure you are doeing your step’s. FOOEY b/c I do NOT do 10,000 step’s every day, and dad is the FIRST one on the phone to scold me by telling me that I will NEVER get married if the first thing peeople see is my tuchus. FOOEY b/c men seem NOT to mind that much–in fact the manageing partner’s brother likes my tuchus. He said it is alot smaller then his wive’s tuchus, who is soon to be his ex. He found an apartement in the building and is goeing to apply to the Board. He wanted me to recomend him, but the board bareley let me in. The lady who is chairwoman does NOT like me — she said I should NOT bring men into my apartement until after I am engaged, but I said that is not fair b/c men bring women in all the time for sex. FOOEY b/c ever since Alan, I do NOT let men have sex with me anyway, even in the apartement.

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  79. Maybe the manageing partner's brother will bankroll a pair or 2 of the Manolo BLATNICK's? Let's hope so. 100 push-ups a day? Libido? That schmoe is definitely heading right for Ellen's crotch, and it's going to be a train wreck for both of them.

    Ellen :
    06/26/2014 at 4:01 pm

    Yay! These are VERY cute and also are alot like the real Manolo Blatnick shoe’s! When I watched Sex in the City, Carrie alway’s wore shoe’s alot like these (with a 4 inch heel). That is what I like — the real Manolo’s! But those would be alot more expensive. FOOEY! And the manageing partner would NOT reimburse $900 for shoe’s, even if the Judge like’s me in them.

    Oh, and now the manageing partner’s brother want’s to come to my apartement to watch firework’s from our coop roof. The agent told him he could if he was my guest. What am I suposed to say–no? And have the manageing partner yell at me b/c his brother has to watch from the street? FOOEY! Now I will have to entertain him. I will have to get Myrna to stay around and keep him at bay. He has been oooogleing me a littel to much lately, and I am afraid that he will want to date me and then have sex with me. He keep’s telleing me how VIRIL he is. Do I realy care about a 62 year old guy with a beer gut who take’s pride in doeing 100 push ups a day? Myrna say’s he will use me to practise on. That is all I need. DOUBEL FOOEY! Now I have to tell BUTCH I can’t go to the Hamton’s. Mabye that’s OK b/c I think Butch might want to have sex with me out there b/c it is a holiday and everyone will be drunk at his place. TRIPEL FOOEY.
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  80. Wow--Ellen jealous of a woman, and it's Lena Dunham? It is true Lena has been getting it from many different guys (and angles and orifices) but somehow I think Ellen could too, if she'd open up more to these guys. Interesting look at how Ellen may well prefer a doctor to a lawyer or accountant. Read on:
    Ellen :
    06/27/2014 at 3:11 pm

    Yay! Open thread’s! I love Open thread’s (and this maxi dress). I read the other p’osters who said that if you have a tummy it is not great–it is worse if you have a tuchus b/c tight maxi’s are UNFORGIVEING. I perfer summer jumper’s, but NOT like Lena Dunham wear’s on Girls. Seriously, how did she EVER get to sleep with that 42 year old DOCTOR? What did he see in her, I will never know! That is what I need–a 42 year old doctor who has a place like that, not a 62 year old schlub that is focussed 100% on jumpeing my bones! FOOEY! I realy wonder why I get the schlubs and guy’s like that go for Lena — I guess when your still in your 20′s, guys want to have sex with you b/c you are still in your 20′s, but I am svelte compared to her and no doctor is grabbeing at my tuchus! DOUBEL FOOEY! When I was in my 20′s, all the professor’s at law school were, but they did NOT want to get MARRIED–just make me do thing’s to them sexueally. TRIPEL FOOEY!

    This weekend, I have to meet the manageing partner and his brother out at the Hamton’s.
    We are warming up the boat for the outing, and the manageing partner’s brother is happy b/c I am comeing out there by MYSELF. Not even Myrna want’s to come out there to see them this time, tho she can come to the firm outing. I am sure the manageing partner’s brother will be thrilled b/c we will both be availeabel to schmooze with. I hope all goe’s quietly and there is nothing dumb hapening with him. Myrna realy think’s he want’s to have sex with me and I think she is right, but I am NOT about to ruin everything at the firm by letting him have his way with me. I do NOT care if he is VIRALE. He is the type to slobber all over me, then roll over and fall asleep. FOOEY!
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  81. Here's Ellen commiserating with another young, attractive female lawyer who's been marginalized by an old retiring partner. We also learn the manageing partner's brother has angled to get Ellen out to the Hamptons early, and alone. Something tells me he may try something with her this weekend. Ellen does not have any of her own clothes! Let's hope that old hornbag doesn't pull a cheap trick in order to gain access to her privates.

    Ellen :
    06/27/2014 at 3:51 pm

    Hug’s, but there is NO need to be to angry. Most male lawyer’s are stuffey and ungratful. The old doosh is retireing, which will make YOU more valueable at the firm. He probabley is a littel uneasy haveing a young pretty woman around the firm b/c he can NOT just walk around and burp (and fart) like he did b/f you got there. I think there is some part of him that does NOT recognise you b/c you will be repleaceing him and he is NOT about to accept being useless. FOOEY on him!

    You did NOT go to law school to be marginalized by an old doofus. There is also a small chance that he is doeing his best to stay away from you b/c he has some kind of sexueal attraction to you. When I was in college, there was this guy who told everybody that we were dateing, but when I went up to him to ask him why he said that, he ran away b/c he was to scared to face me. There could be some of that goeing on.

    The manageing partner just asked if I want to go out NOW with him to the Hamton’s. I told him I did NOT have my stuff, and would NOT be abel to get out there until tomorow afternoon. He said I did NOT need anything that Margie didn’t have, and that she was already out there with the manageing partner’s brother.
    So I said OK–I am leaveing early so will NOT be abel to p’ost much from my Iphone. I am concerned that the manageing partner’s brother will be buzzeing around me all weekend, and if I am wearing Margie’s clotheing, I must make sure NOT to make a mess. More importantely, I do NOT want the manageing partner’s brother PAWING me out there. Men in the Hamton’s tend to think we women are ONLEY out there for sex, and I do NOT want him grabbeing at me weareing Margie’s clotheing. FOOEY! I hope the HIVE will wish me luck holding him off! Have a great weekend! YAY!!!!!!

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    Replies
    1. Perhaps SHE HAS passed? I've heard of this happening on the web with no one ever knowing? I hope not but it happens.

      Delete
  82. Let's have a requiem Mass for Ellenwatch. She has totally disappeared from the scene. Any takers?

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  83. OMG, I hope Ellen has not been deflowered by this guy. It sure sounds like he is at least sniffing below the belt. I would not put it past him to trick her into pulling those baggy bikini bottoms down to check for a lost coin.


    Ellen :

    06/30/2014 at 10:41 am


    Yay! Pricey Monday’s! I love pricey Monday’s and this Armani suit! Right now, I can NOT quite aford to buy this, tho the manageing partner’s brother kept askeing me if he could take me shoppeing in Bridgehamton.

    As for the OP, hug’s to you. This is terrible. I think You need to get the Sloman’s Sheild and they will protect you. The manageing partner’s house in the Hamton’s has it and they use it 24/7, even when they are there. So no one can come in w/o getting let in or the alarm goe’s off. But you have to remember the code or it will buzz on you even if you go from the INSIDE to the OUTSIDE! That hapened to me 2x when I went out to the pool to swim. FOOEY!

    It was very nice out there, and we went out on the boat both Saturday and Sunday. The manageing partner has a guy to help him with the boat, who live’s in town, and he went out with us on Saturday to make sure the boat was 100%. He even offered to show me how the engine room worked, but I did NOT want to go down there just with him b/c it was dark and smelled like gasoline. FOOEY!

    The manageing partner’s brother took me into Bridgehamton and wanted me to pick out some art for his new apartement. I went, but said I needed to better understand his taste’s b/f I could pick out anything for him. He said that if I liked it, he would like it, so we went around but I did NOT find anything that realy jumped out at me. He made me promise we would try again the next time we went out there. He did find an apartement in my buildeing, but he said if he get’s aproved, he would need for it to be GUTT-RENOVATED. That is good b/c that mean’s he cant move in for a while, even if the Board aprove’s him. He kept ooogeling me, particulearly when I was out at the pool, weareing Margie’s batheing clothe’s. I did have a coverup so he could NOT see that it was a littel to big for me. The last thing I need is for men to see me with a bikini bottom that look’s baggy and saggy!

    I have a VERY busy week at work so I may NOT get to p’ost as much until after I file my 11 breif’s with the court. Fortunateley, I can do that ELECTRONICALEY! YAY!!!!!!!!

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  84. This guy is definitely out for Ellen's crotch. Look at this slime ball, playing the field and showing what a big fella he is. The next thing you know, he will take her up to his place, and show her his sculpted (albeit flaccid) member.


    Ellen :

    06/30/2014 at 3:05 pm


    Yes, while I have not, Rosa has, and she bought them at NORDSROM’S in White Plains! She love’s them and more importantly for the HIVE, they will be on sale starting July 10 at their anniversary sale! YAY!!!!

    http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/tkees-duos-flip-flop/3717832?cm_cat=datafeed&cm_ite=tkees_%27duos%27_flip_flop:640628_1&cm_pla=shoes:women:sandals_slides&cm_ven=Google_Product_Ads&mr:referralID=9800ce0b-0088-11e4-bec1-001b2166becc&origin=pla

    Mabye I will get a pair for the HAMTONS! Right now, I have cheep flip flops that I use from CVS, but I should upgrade. The manageing partner’s brother told me that his wife spend HUNDRED’s of dollars on shoe’s every month! Even I do NOT do that I told him, so he said I would be an improvement over her.

    I was not sure how to take that so I just said that I was VERY FRUEGEL. He laughed b/c he wondered why he saw me weareing all of Margie’s clotheing all weekend!

    The manageing partner’s brother is beginning to grow on me a littel, but I do NOT think I can marry him b/c he is so much older then I am. I wonder how much of an age diference is OK. Has Kat or anyone else in the HIVE taken a survey on this? When a man is virile NOW, what are women suposed to do 20 year’s down the road when we still have a sex drive and they are 82, especialy if we do NOT have to worry about becomeing pregenent? Kat, can you do a survey for us?

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  85. Here, Ellen is in the right, again, with others coming to support her position.


    Ellen :

    07/01/2014 at 9:51 am


    I like the sweater! Some times it’s good to have a baggy look. It is kind of like a “boyfreind shirt” but onley a sweater. The onley thing I cant get my HEAD around is the name of the place that sells it — ACNE Studio’s? All I can think about is being 15 and haveing PIMPELS! FOOEY! Or the guy Fred in College that hung around my dorm room, campeing out to see if I would date him! OMG, what memorie’s? Here is their websight:

    http://www.acnestudios.com/shop/women/knits/dear-cashmere-grey-melange.html

    But I do like the stuff that Stefanie p’osts, so I will show Rosa and the manageing partner. Mabye the manageing partner’s brother would consider buying this for me. If not, I will have to live without it. Yay!!!

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    tesyaa :

    07/01/2014 at 10:02 am


    I agree with Ellen. I’m sure there is something behind the name, but I can’t figure out why a clothing brand would be called Acne.

    Reply Report


    s :

    07/01/2014 at 10:26 am


    Apparently Acne, pronounced ACK-nay, stands for Ambition to Create Novel Expressions. Still a bad name.

    Reply Report



    Cat :

    07/01/2014 at 10:29 am


    If I recall correctly it’s an acronym (and the company is Swedish). I do love the luxe look of the knit itself, but would prefer either a true turtleneck or a deeper v-neck, and if the sleeves are that slouchy on a tall model, I’m sure they’d look like leg warmers on me!

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  86. Not sure I follow Ellen's logic, but what the hay!


    Ellen :

    07/01/2014 at 1:51 pm


    Yes, I agree. Women can NOT let men just take over JUST b/c they are a man. I know my ex would have spent all my money even though he was an acountant. On the other hand, I am NOT that interested in figureing out the stock market and interest rates and stuff, so if I could ONLEY find a decent guy to marry who was NOT a drunk and would spend all of my money on alchohol, mabye I would let him manage all of the money, as long as I had enough money left to spend on thing’s I need. It is a VERY thin line that we women have to tread on– do we take over and be labeled as to pushy, or do we just let the man take charge b/c he know’s more about finance’s even if he is a drunk? That is the question. I wish I had an answer to it, b/c I need to get MARRIED and have a child NOW, but do NOT want to make another mistake like I did with Alan. FOOEY!

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  87. Here, Tesyaa is taking a beating for her opinion, when Ellen comes in to support her. The motivation of the managing partner's brother is becoming clearer. Get back by punishing his wife for clamming up below the belt (instead humping her yoga instructor) while continuing to spend his hard earned money. If he is going to lay out money, I think he want's his wife to spread on command like peanut butter, or otherwise give his pecker sexual satisfaction orally or "otherwise". I am not sure paying a few bills is going to cause Ellen to prostrate herself before his almighty penis.


    Ellen :

    07/01/2014 at 3:45 pm


    I agree with Tesyaa. This is Coffee Break, and we are all entitled to our opinion’s, even if we do NOT all agree with each other. Also, some peeople make more money then other’s do, so what one person think’s is EXPENSIVE may not be that much to another person. I know, for example that the manageing partner’s brother, who is getting DIVORCED, let his wife spend alot of money on clothe’s, and he did NOT care until she stopped sleeepeing with him, and then he began to rezent all of the bill’s comeing in from Bergdorf and Sak’s for clotheing when he was NOT able to have a wifely releationship with her. According to him, she started takeing up with her YOGA instructor, who is onley 30 year’s old.

    Myrna think’s that is why the manageing partner’s brother is pursueing me — to get back at her, but I think that he just want’s someone to pay attention to him and that is MY role in his mind. Beside’s, his wife is almost 30 year’s older then me, so he probably is more interested in sampeling younger women now–he keep’s telling me how VIRALE he is. That, however is NOT my focus. He is smart and has been around the world, so he can CARRY on a conversation, and that is some thing that Alan could NEVER do, even when he was SOBER. So mabye I will consider dateing him, but NOT sleepeing with him right away. YAY!!!

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  88. Wow, billing 2200 hours for what sounds like, at best 5 hours work. What a great gig, if you can get it, and she's got it. She also sounds like she can pretty much get anything she wants on the clothing front. Whatever she spends (and get reimbused) pales in comparison with what she is able to extract from the paying clients. She is a big asset to the firm and the managing partner knows it. Now as to his brother, I hope the managing partner makes sure to have him keep his penis in check. Should Ellen become pregnant, the firm could well starve, as her prolific ability to bill would dry up faster than his receding penile implant. I also think Ellen will be sly enough to play him for all he is worth without having to drop her drawers. Rest assured, that if she ever did, he would find a home for that "VIRALE penis" pronto. It also sounds a wee bit like Lynn has been sexually played out by Mason, and he is in search now for fresh, new fields to plow.

    Ellen :

    07/02/2014 at 10:10 am
    I also totaly love this dress– but is the pink realy a color block? It look’s like 2 seperete piece’s from my Iphone. I think I will ask the manageing partner if I can buy it. I think the judge should like pink b/c he LOVES me in RED, so this cant be to different.
    The teck guy is workeing on my laptop computer b/c I spilled coffee on the key’s and I wanted to read this BLOG before I went to court. FOOEY I have 11 cases on 3211 motion’s today. Most say the same thing, but one of them the guy never even responded to our answer, so I was thinkeing of goeing for summery judgement, but the manageing partner says dismissal with prejuddice is the way to go, so I listened, and just copied the other motion’s, changeing just the name’s and the insurers. YAY!

    I billed a total of 220 hours on those 11 brief’s and it onley took me the morning on Monday and I uploaded them right after lunch. I think this is great b/c I get alot of hours and just copy and paste and upload. I do NOT even need to use Lynn on these b/c they were all the same and all she would do is mess them up, by forgetting to change the plaintiff or the case number on the docket, etc. FOOEY! Beside’s, she keep’s mooning at Mason. I think they have sex every nite and mabye more. But Mason was oogleing Myrna and some other woman the other day, so he realy is NOT to be trusted. The manageing partner’s brother want’s me to show him South Street Seeport Musuem, b/c he like’s boat’s. He said he would get a boat if I wanted one, but I am NOT his wife. Why is he sayeing all these thing’s. Myrna is probabley right about him trying to make me his trophy girlfreind. But I will NOT be sleepeing with him any time soon. Myrna think’s if Howard Stern could get a pretty blond, then I could be the manageing partner’s brother’s girfreind very quickly, but those two got MARRIED! DOUBEL FOOEY!

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    Replies
    1. Here Ellen recommends sex as the cure to edginess!

      Ellen :

      07/03/2014 at 3:30 pm


      Yay! Open Holiday Thread’s — and a happy 4th to the full HIVE! And more importantly, a serious p’oster that needs a response that I can help on! DOUBEL YAY! — After all Birkenstock’s are for my Dad — and his feet smell FOOEY!

      As for the OP, hugs–your situeation sound’s funkier than Dad’s feet. The woman you refer to has issue’s, probabley she is a littel concerned that she will be shown up by younger peeople, like you and other’s on her staff. That is alway’s a problem — Madeline here is like that — she can NOT believe that I am a partner and she has alot more expereince then I do, but she is NOT a go getter and cannot bill 1/2 as much as I can.

      So this is what I sugest for all of you. Aproach her and tell her that you are on the same team as her and you need to all work together. Then, if she is NOT married, you can offer to have her meet a freind of one of yours who hopefully is NOT a schlub in a group setting. My guess is that her PERSONAL life is also kind of a mess, so if you are abel to find her a man, she will become alot happier. The manageing partner did this with Madeline, who originaly was very edgy, but now that she is dateing some guy he brought over from the Bar association, she is much calmer. I think they probabley have sex, but I do NOT know for sure. Either way, she is NOT edgy any more and she does go out to meet that guy about 2x a week, so it is VERY likeley she has done stuff with him sexueally after 5 year’s. Try it and let us know how it turn’s out.

      As for the rest of the HIVE, happy 4th of July, and be carful NOT to get burned by the firework’s or by men who want to have fun with you then walk away. FOOEY on them! YAY!!!!!

      Delete
    2. Oy! Willem returns. I hope he doesn't take Ellen out of her groove. The old guy may be her best bet. He wants sex and she wants a kid. What a match!

      Ellen :

      07/03/2014 at 9:38 am


      Yay! Fruegel Thursday’s–I love Fruegel Thursday b/c there is no work on Fruegel Friday! This is a great selection, though these are PLUS sizes being sold which hopefully I will never have to shop for, but great for the HIVE who do. Thank’s to Stephenie! YAY!

      I even have the day off tomorow b/c the manageing partner says I do NOT have to do anything but come to the Hamton’s and stay over. His brother will be there, so I will have to bring my own clothe’s this time. I told him about Willem calleing me about the World Cup (Soccer) and he is goeing to Brazil to see Belgum play Saturday. He said his family would be there and he would let me come if I told him we were engaged, but I have NO interest in Willem, Belgum or Soccer, so I said no. The manageing partner’s brother thought that was a good idea, b/c he want’s to see me in the Hamton’s. I am still on the fence with him b/c he is old enough to be my dad, and his son (Harold) even wanted to date me. I do NOT want to be acused of robbeing the cradel, but on the other hand, I do not want his dad haveing me as his play toy and haveing to sleep with him every night is NOT something I can stomack. FOOEY!

      Speakeing of

      As for the OP! She is a designer of clothe’s for famous peeople! Hillary get’s dressed by her and other famous peeople my mom’s age (like Janice Yellen) and mabye head’s of state also get her clotheing. I think in 30 year’s I will have to also, unless I just retire to a life in the Hamton’s, pool side. YAY!!!! I hope the rest of the HIVE chime’s in on this b/c I am NOT the best expert to help the OP here. DOUBEL YAY for the 4th of July!

      Delete
  89. Here, Ellen warns the OP not to engage in easy sex when an ex comes into town, as they may well give her a sexual disease, or worse. Good advice.

    Ellen :

    07/02/2014 at 3:13 pm


    I agree with ANON, whatever her real name is. YAY!! She make’s alot of sense. If you are NOT married (like me), I think that with ex boyfreind’s, you have to keep in mind that if you are still single, they may still make a move on you, even if they ARE in another releationship, and even if you are in another releationship. Why? Because when you were boyfreind and girlfreind, you did alot of stuff together (includeing romantic stuff), and he still remembers that stuff and want’s to do it again (especialy if he is ONLEY in town for a few days). This way, he can see if what he NOW has is better. But WE as ladie’s, must resist the temtation of haveing causal sex b/c while it is easy for MEN to have sex and walk away, it mean’s more to us. I am sure we all remember intimate detail’s about what we did with our ex’s and what they did to us, and even tho it may have been fun (or not), the LAST thing we need is for that guy to just come, and wham bam, thank you mam and then go back to his girlfreind. Also, since we do NOT know what he has been up to, or where that thing has been, we should NOT do anything on the spurr of the moment b/c we could catch something that we do NOT (or can NOT) get rid of. How embarasing it would be to have to explain how it is that we got something from an ex who just came in from out of town. FOOEY on that! I say we deserve MUCH more then to be a sexueal object for him if he come’s into town, and it all start’s with coffee, then drink’s then dinner, then back to his hotel room. DOUBEL FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There's a small part of me that wants Ellen to have a lot of sex (not anal though) this weekend. Maybe I am projecting, but I think she will enjoy it.

      Delete
  90. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  91. Sorry vinnie, but none of us are remotely interested in opening our vaginas, our mouths or any other orifice to give your penis sanctuary, no matter how skilled you are in manipulating it. By the same token, being showered by a bukket of your semen is not attractive, not withstanding it's protein.value. If we want gratification, we can go to BABELAND and pleasure ourselves thinking of real men��

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  92. I agree. Vincent James Kutza III is a pig, and is likely typical of others in the Kutza clan.

    ===============

    Ellen :

    07/07/2014 at 10:50 am


    Yay! Fruegel Monday! But I am confused? Isn’t it suposed to be pricey Monday’s? Anyway, welcome back to the HIVE! BTW, Kat, I LOVE UNIQLO. They have a store on FIFTH Avenue that I alway’s stop into and I have some sweater’s I leave in the office when it get’s chilley in here. Great Pick!

    As for the OP, I can NOT beleive your sister has to schlep a 19 1/2 LAP TOP! I onley have an 11″ MacBook Air and that is heavey enough, so I do NOT carry it around except when I need to — last week, when I spilled coffee on my work machine, the teck guy took it away so I had to use my own computer. It is NOW back on my desk, but smell’s a littel funny. I think he must have oiled the key’s or something. FOOEY! But at least it is workeing.

    I wound up staying in NYC for the 4th b/c of bad weather–it was very cold in the Hamton’s until Saturday, so Myrna and I tried to watch the firework’s from my apartement’s roof. We could NOT see anything but the manageing partner’s brother and Harold came over with deli so it was NOT a total waste. The manageing partner’s brother kept oogleing Myrna also. I think he needs a woman to take care of him, so mabye he will find someone else. He convinced Myrna to drive out with Harold and me to the Hamton’s on Saturday afternoon, and we had an OK time on the boat with Margie and the Manageing Partner. Harold kept telling us that he is in some skateboard contest — I said he was to old for that stuff, but he is goeing to try out for some TV show. What a waste. His dad is not thrilled with haveing to support him and his apartement, especialy b/c he is lookeing to move in my buildeing soon. I do NOT know what it is with bald guy’s. They think that women will fall all over the place for them. I am NOT attracted to that. FOOEY! I like a guy with hair. YAY!!!!

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  93. Here's Ellen giving advice to a young woman who has a crush on the partner she works with. Somehow, I don't think Ellen had this issue with her partner, but that does not stop her from giving advice:


    Ellen :

    07/04/2014 at 5:37 pm


    I was waiteing to see if other’s would respond, but since they haven’t, let me. First of all, Kudo’s to you for recognising that the crush is improper. Double Kudo’s for not takeing any action on it. The last thing you need is to share with him this, b/c it could jepardise your job and your marrage (if your married). He could also have sex with you for a while then fire you if his wife finds out. But it sound’s like there is NO other man in your life and that is the probelem, or if you have one, he is a looser. Get a man who is NOT married (or at work) ASAP and make sure he is romantic to you and back. Also, if you have to fantasize, and you don’t have a man, do it at home and envision other men to keep you satisfied.

    In my situeation, when I had Alan, he was there most of the time at night, so I was mostly satisfied with him, even tho he was hardley a good lover, but I was to busy to think much about any other men, and there were none at work worth thinkeing over anyways. Once Alan was OUT of my life, tho, I did have to start lookeing (and dateing) others, but was carful NOT to just have sex for no reason. Most guy’s will just have sex and after you have sex, they loose interest. I know that is NOT good, so Myrna got me some gift’s which were much better substitute’s, and made no mess to clean up afterwards. Myrna also remind’s me that this is also an option, b/c if you get good rest at night you will be abel to be better focused in the workplace and less likely to daydream about the partner and you haveing sex in the law libary or makeing other firework’s in his office. FOOEY! Myrna and I are goeing up to the roof with the manageing partner’s brother to watch firework’s tonite. He is comeing over soon with deli take out for us! YAY!!!!

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  94. Here, Ellen advises someone how to deal with a co-worker who is tough on her. The answer? Get a guy to have sex with her to take off the edge. Perhaps Ellen need take the same advice, because she is on edge these days.


    Ellen :

    07/03/2014 at 3:30 pm


    Yay! Open Holiday Thread’s — and a happy 4th to the full HIVE! And more importantly, a serious p’oster that needs a response that I can help on! DOUBEL YAY! — After all Birkenstock’s are for my Dad — and his feet smell FOOEY!

    As for the OP, hugs–your situeation sound’s funkier than Dad’s feet. The woman you refer to has issue’s, probabley she is a littel concerned that she will be shown up by younger peeople, like you and other’s on her staff. That is alway’s a problem — Madeline here is like that — she can NOT believe that I am a partner and she has alot more expereince then I do, but she is NOT a go getter and cannot bill 1/2 as much as I can.

    So this is what I sugest for all of you. Aproach her and tell her that you are on the same team as her and you need to all work together. Then, if she is NOT married, you can offer to have her meet a freind of one of yours who hopefully is NOT a schlub in a group setting. My guess is that her PERSONAL life is also kind of a mess, so if you are abel to find her a man, she will become alot happier. The manageing partner did this with Madeline, who originaly was very edgy, but now that she is dateing some guy he brought over from the Bar association, she is much calmer. I think they probabley have sex, but I do NOT know for sure. Either way, she is NOT edgy any more and she does go out to meet that guy about 2x a week, so it is VERY likeley she has done stuff with him sexueally after 5 year’s. Try it and let us know how it turn’s out.

    As for the rest of the HIVE, happy 4th of July, and be carful NOT to get burned by the firework’s or by men who want to have fun with you then walk away. FOOEY on them! YAY!!!!!

    Reply Report


    Aviva :

    07/03/2014 at 4:48 pm


    This worked for us. We had a woman project manager who was driving us crazy. One of my coworkers set her up with a guy she knew, and after the two of them got to “know” each other romantically, she calmed down and was bearable. I am convinced that after they started having regular sex, she was a lot easier to get along with. Kudos to men who have the power to calm us, albeit if their power is a sexual one!

    Reply Report



    ConfusedYoungProfessional :

    07/03/2014 at 5:15 pm


    Ellen totally made my day again. Thanks, Ellen!

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  95. Condolences to Ellenwatch. She needs to post one more time as a good bye to all of these Ellenwatchers.

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  96. I believe Ellen's hymen has been penetrated by the managing partner's brother. Why she would let an old withered pecker plunge into her over and over again just because she works for his brother is beyond me. It is possible she has allowed that old penis access to her mouth and anus also, making it all but impossible for me to believe she is still innocent. After all, that old coot was married to a woman for years, and he has now tired of her, but needless to say, she was likely f***ucked multiple times, multiple ways so as to provide him with children, including the useless skateboarder that is also looking to penetrate Ellen. It is a shame that she could not find a legitimate man, her own age, to have a relationship with. I don't think that the father will want to impregnate her, and even though the son also wants sex, I can't figure Ellen to collect semen from both of these men. As a result, I now understand why Ellenwatch has abandoned ship. She probably no longer identifies with Ellen as a role model, and has possibly herself, devolved to pleasuring men's penises like popsicles, and may have even allowed these men back door access. That would not be such a sin, but clearly this is not what we had hoped for with Ellen. If she is indeed having multiple input sex with the father and son, this is not something we want to follow.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon, wouldn't Ellen be bragging if she is bedding the brother, even if his penis is shriveled or otherwise is not up for the task? Her grandma has been pressuring her for issue, and that generally means finding A guy to repeadly have sex with you without a condom. She can't get pregnant thru oral sex or anal sex, and she's made no mention of fuc$ing this guy. In fact she recently wrote something to the effect that he was being too close lately, so even if there is no other guy in the picture, I don't think she's been fuc$ing that guy. I'm sure tho that given the chance, he'd be humping her day and night.

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  97. Now that Ellen's tush is fitter and she's getting plowed by the old bald guy with the shriveled pecker, Ellenwatch no longer is following her here?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think yes. Ellenwatch only was interested when Ellen's hymen was intact. It seems that now, not only has her hymen been pierced, but she has surely been exposed to all other types of sexual intercourse, procreational and recreational. It is hardly a stretch of the imagination to discover that the brother has penetrated her anally as well as orally, and she seems to be doing it all in the spirit it has been offered. We probably will never know the full details of those sexual activities, as we only found out piecemeal that Allen Shek had sex with her long after the story line had been established. I do not fault Ellen at all; in fact, I enjoy all of these same types of sexual pursuits. It is just that Ellenwatch likely preferred to share some kind of kindred spinsterhood with Ellen, but since Ellen is now experiencing the height of bedroom ecstacy (albeit with an old guy), Ellenwatch has bowed out. This is too bad, as all women deserve this level of ecstacy for all of the crap we have to put up with, and with men younger than the brother, who can take us to the limit and back more than once each night.

      Delete
  98. It is hard to swallow (I suppose) Ellen being utilized sexually with all 3 inputs -- this change also appears to be concurred with by the above poster, which I think is one of the 3 women in my firm that has so supported Ellen in the past in her attempts to remain semi-virginal. But now I read that even one of my co-workers subscribes to conventional (vaginal) as well as less conventional (oral and anal) sex. This is a major turn of events. Every paralegal I've had at the firm had no trouble giving me oral, and most let me fuck them conventionally (vagina). But only 2 of the paralegal I screwed first vaginally let me poke them in the ass. This I think was because they were skittish of the girth of my penis and what it might do to their ass if I wasn't gentle. The two that I did fuck up the ass did love it and I have screwed both on many occasions over the last 2 years. But to have one of the associates wholeheartedly subscribe to all three inputs is news to me. Perhaps they now will approach me for same, and, as a willing associate, I will be happy to oblige and penetrate their poopers, provided they first get me off orally.

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    Replies
    1. There is no proof that Ellen as much as spread her legs or even kissed the brother, let alone gave him a blow job. I believe this is just wishful thinking by this poster because he has been unable to get to first base with any of his co-workers. While he boasts of regular blow jobs, sex and anal sex, he has not corroborated this with any names of the so-called paralegals who serviced him. In fact, I doubt any one would be willing to so much as shake hands with him, let alone do anything more with their hands, their mouths, their vaginas or worse yet, their anuses, as far as with him, that is. Now yes, some of us have engaged in all of these practices, and they are very satisfying -- with the right person. This guy is not the right person in my book, as he is far too boastful of whatever conquests he as made, perhaps only in his own mind. Without fueling his fire, women do appreciate a good man for any of these undertakings and are more than willing to be on the receiving end of all offerings made by clean, worthy men.

      Delete
  99. This is correct. Myrna said the other day that she should just have sex with the managing partner's brother already, which means she has not done so, as yet. This probably means all kinds of sex, not just procreational sex. I do not think Ellen is like M. Lewinsky, in the sense that other types of sexual activities might have been performed, whether on or off the table.

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  100. What's going on with Ellen's punani

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  101. Noah the doctor is probing it as we speak?

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    Replies
    1. If Ellen just threw out all of Allan's nuts, I doubt she'd be interested in taking in Noah's nuts so soon.

      Delete
  102. Come back Ellen watch!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, please save this woman from a life with a guy that only thinks of her as a warm moist place to park his penis

      Delete
    2. But make it clear that there really should only be a maximum of 2 warm places that are properly acceptable for a good girl these days. All too many men want that third place they see in the movies, where I think it really does not belong (ouch).

      Delete
  103. I don't agree. Between two adults, anal sex is a viable 3rd option, and one that more than a few college women I know did to preserve their virginity for their husbands. We were all taught in high school to practice safe sex, so for many of us, that meant giving head to guys and letting them finger us. Once we got a little older and got diaphragms most of us let our boyfriends finish off inside us and we appreciated it. But for those of us needing to wait for marriage, guys (and us) wanted more and having a guy poke us in the rear, if done with care, was the ideal solution. Even after marriage, anal sex can be very rewarding to both parties. The key is to work slowly with a lot of lubrication, and for us to make sure we've emptied out beforehand as it can be embarrassing to have to poop midstream, or to have to deal with the mess once you come and he pulls out. So keep this in mind as you engage in consensual sex. It can all be beautiful where done properly.

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  104. The operative word is consensual. Guys who have had oral and vaginal eventually tire of those and look for variety. I was dating a guy in college for 2 months when he started doing me doggie style, which we had done a few times, when all of a sudden he withdrew, and then started to try and enter my ass, thinking I would not notice being in the moment and all, but hello, you notice it when a kielbasa is poking at your bum without warning. I told him NO but he kept pumping and did get in but I did not enjoy it. He tried to make it up to me by buying me a coffee but I never slept with him again. Confession: during finals, he was distraught, so I gave him a BJ to calm him down.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This site is not about you and your sexual follies. It is about Ellen and how to get her through the rough times she is going through with the lack of eligible men. No one is interested in your stories about taking it in the pooper from some guy you just met or giving a charity blow job to the same guy's kielbasa. Kindly stay on point or Ellenwatch will remove your post.

      Delete
    2. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    3. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  105. Can ELLENWATCH please comment and post again? We are tired about reading about how to suck on a guys dick, or how to lube our asses to let a guy bone us back there. We are only interested in Ellen.

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  106. Agreed. There are plenty of sites where we can learn to master the art of sword (and semen) swallowing as well as the finer points of pleasuring your man in many other ways. Here is a blog devoted to one person and I do not recall Ellen ever getting into specifics about what, if anything, she did or would do with a man in the bedroom. While it may be safe to assume Ellen is not a virgin, it could well be the case that she has only engaged in vaginal intercourse with her ex, Allen, and has not done abything else with anyone, despite numerous opportunities at school and at work. It is her relative innocence and purity that sets her apart from others who marginalize sex acts as little more than a way to say goodnight after a drink. I suggest others follow her lead and not merely offer up oral favors to a man who has spent €20 for her dinner.

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    Replies
    1. Anon, for the right guy, you can give oral favours even absent an expenditure for dinner. More importantly, if you make him eat pineapple and drink pineapple juice for a few days before hand, you will get a very tasty nectar for your oral favours.

      Delete
  107. Has ELLENWATCH given up here because Ellen is now baring her hoo-ha to all new men who have exhibited any interest in her? I have always thought Bikram Yoga was the way for her to get a man. Once she can place both ankles behind her earlobes and rock gently on her mat, many men will become interested because they will envision engaging in all types of sexual interludes with her, whether or not copulation is involved. Increased pliability reduces the need for us to have to do things that are less palatable (I.e., anal) as our vaginas are viewed by all as our epicenter, or "ground zero" for male focus. So if this is the route Ellen is taking, kudos to her. If not, this continues to be my recommendation, as my boyfriend remains mesmerized by my vagina, which I keep exceptionally fresh and clean for him.

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    Replies
    1. We miss Ellenwatch, and presumably has given up the ghost after a great run. Thank you for your years of valuable service. Personally, I do not believe Ellen has "bared her hoo-ha" to any man of late -- at least since she did with Allen.

      Delete
  108. Does anyone think this could be our Ellen? http://www.younghouselove.com/2009/04/save-it-part-3/#comment-22466

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  109. I think Ellenwatch stopped posting once she determined that
    Ellen had spread her legs (and opened her other 2 orifii) for more than one guy. In her day, this would have been almost unheard of. As a result, Ellen lost whatever charm she had, and was relegated to the status of a "tart" not worthy of coverage.

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    Replies
    1. Yes Ellen may not be a virgin, but she'd still be viewed as fresh meat for most guys--like the woman in 50 shades of Grey.

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    2. Yes Ellen may not be a virgin, but she'd still be viewed as fresh meat for most guys--like the woman in 50 shades of Grey.

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    3. What ever happened to Ellenwatch? I hope nothing bad, but fear that perhaps she has gone on to become Ellenwatch in the sky, closer to G-d.

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  110. Ellen is no longer innocent and clean below the waist. If a man is to go out with her, sex is a must, and anything less means bye bye. She needs to be concerned about STDs from men who are busy boning skanks.

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