Monday, December 31, 2012

We all have to have a great 2013 next year, with or without men.

I probably couldn't have done a better 2012 roundup on Ellen myself. People often tell me I know her better than she does, but today it at least look's like a tie.
HAPPY NEW YEAR'S readers on this websight! I hope you all do exactley as you please tonight and I can't wait to see you back here as together we begin another fooeyous year!

Ellen :
What a great THRED Jack! I have to HURRY b/c Myrna is comeing over soon, but the best thing I did FOR myself is to be independent, knoweing that I do NOT have to rely on a MAN to be complete. I do NOT care if I am NOT in a releationship with a man, b/c after haveing been involved with a looser and meeting so many other’s who do NOT care about me, but onley them, that I feel best when I am abel to think for myself and be smart without haveing to ask a man what he think’s.
I have become a MAJOR influence at work, and the manageing partner has come to depend on ME. Instead of just stareing at me and buffeing his head all day (tho he still does), he lookes to me to get NEW buseiness, and to do his CLE presentation’s for him. He also let me plan the holiday party ALL by myself! Yay!!!! All he did was pay for it.
I have even became freinds with some of the law firm cleint’s, and gotten some cleint’s to refer other new peeople who became cleint’s! Jim refered Roberta and now she is one of my BEST freind’s! In fact, Myrna and I are goeing to see her TODAY! Yay! She is becomeing my role model b/c she work’s in house and has alot of infleuence at work and is alot of fun!
So now my biggest task is to loose 5 pounds and I have 2 more day’s. I have lost 3 pound’s and have 2 more. No bread for 2 day’s and the corn beef I eat today in the BRONX will onley have Mustard on it and Dr. Brown’s DIET soda. Yum!!!!!!! But I have to loose the weight, so if I need to I will NOT eat tomorow and until AFTER I have a way-in with the manageing partner on Wednesday morning. FOOEY! But I have to go now, so HAPPY NEW YEAR to the HIVE! We all have to have a great 2013 next year, with or without men. YAY!!!!!!!!!!

There should be an Anti-Anti Trust

The help with the CLE Powerpoint for which Ellen is thanking here may have come from Wanda (here), but Ellen may also be citing the HIVE out of a wish to avoid mentioning the Sunshine Girls, who recommended several sources for the presentation itself rather than just a formatting tip. Not that we can assume Wanda isn't a Sunshine Girl; she may be.

Ellen :
If you have INTERNET acess, you should go ON LINE to the Salvation Army’s web site where there is a way to schedule pickups of your clothe’s.
Here is the link:
This prooves that the hive work’s both ways!
I also want to thank the HIVE for helpeing me with my POWERPOINT, which I e-mailed to the BAR Association! Yay!
The manageing partner did NOT even want to read it first. He said JUST send it on, b/c it was 3 day’s late. That shows he TRUST’s me! Yay!
The manageing partner also said that next year should be a good one IF I keep bringeing in NEW cleint’s. There may be a fiscal cliff, my dad says, but this is ONE time I hope he is NOT right. He says there is to much partisen politic’s (whatever that mean’s) and he does NOT think any one want’s to give in.
I have to go to Saint Louis next month. FOOEY! Jim is lookeing forward to it, but I have had ENOUGH of all of this ANTI TRUST stuff. DOUBEL FOOEY! I am NOT in favor of anytheing ANTI any more. There should be an Anti-Anti Trust. That I could live with.
I am spendeing the day with Roberta and Myrna after Myrna come’s by to pick me up and drive to Riverdell, but will have to be back here by 9:30 tonight when my dad is comeing over to watch the ball drop on TV! Yay!!!!! Happy New Year to the HIVE!!!!! Happy new Year, Kat!!!!!

Sunday, December 30, 2012

It is terribel to have parent’s who are feudeing all the time

The major achievement with this one is establishing that Rosa is a mother. Is she the mother of DAWN? What about Ellen's other niece? These things we still don't know, but nonetheless progress. 

Ellen :
It is terribel to have parent’s who are feudeing all the time. My parents get along b/c my mom is a great cook and my dad handeles every thing ELSE. My dad is getting me a cherry desk for my home office. He SAYS that b/c I work so much that I should be ABEL. To deduct a pro ratta share of my Coop’s fee’s and morgage, which dad pay’s. That should be about 30% he says based on square footeage. He is so smart but that means I CANNOT have my TV IN THERE b/c it must be used EXCLUSIVLY FOR BUSINESS. FOOEY! Now I am goeing have to move the TV to my bedroom and move Myrna’s bike to the living room.
I think I will be more in there with a cherry desk and my files and MacBook air . I have wifi so I can still access the web from there and my iPad. Yay!
Dad is coming in tomorrow so we can watch tv for new years. Mom is staying with Rosa b/c she is pregnant again. I am such a good AUNT! Yay!!!!

Friday, December 28, 2012

Not to settel and to alway’s be prepared to go to court

Evan moved more quickly than I thought he would. And I highly doubt Ellen can keep herself from posting until after the New Year's. So I look forward to hearing what comes of this meeting, if any. 

Thank's to HERBIE for advancing a worthy thought on "Ellen's" current whereabouts. She certainly claims to still roam the streets of Manhattan, but a lot of this could be from memory. Kanye East and Susan/Edna Mode/Susedna have also pointed out the archaism of her references to the IRT, suggesting again a rather retrospective view of the city. UPDATE: Ellen respond's! Indignation and content of defense unchanged. UPDATE II: Wanda's helpful hint and more news from Ellen, incl. frenemy-esque snark on Myrna for haveing an allegedly flat tuchus. Sounds like the supermarkit cleint meeting is going to be sooner rather than later--but I think it still has to be coordinated with the January St. Louis trip. 

Ellen :
You should go to the SOUTH Street Seaport. There is alot of thing’s to see and do and shop and eat and EVERYTHING! Yay! I went to Pier 17 and its alot of fun. Your man can see the OLD ship’s there and there is also a police thing.
The manageing partner is wondering if I have lost any weight. Actualy, I lost 2 pound’s, but put back on 1 pound, so I STILL need to loose 4 pound’s by Jan 2. I am trying, but it is NOT easy! FOOEY!
I also am tryeing to finish his POWER POINT for his CLE. It is ALMOST done, but I can NOT figure out how to change the FOOTNOTE which has the name of the presenting company that I found who’s power point I was copying. Does ANYONE in the HIVE know how to get into the FOOTNOTE to erase the name of the company? I have to get this to the Bar Association, and Lynn is off on vacation until NEXT week! FOOEY!
Finaly, I am tryeing to figure out how to present to these two supermarkit guy’s about WC. What do they care unless we win? That is what I will tell them. Not to settel and to alway’s be prepared to go to court, b/c if the judge like’s you, we win! Yay!
That guy, Evan called and said he wanted to set up a consultaion with me after the first of the year. I want the manageing partner to be there, so I will have to tell him that I met Evan at the Matzo Ball. FOOEY! But if it turn’s out this guy has money and hire’s us, that would be a GOOD thing!
Happy New Year’s to Kat and the HIVE if I don’t write back b/f the New Year’s! Yay!!!!!!!
  • I know you are fake and OP doesn't want to shop anyway, but :
    Seaport is pretty much out of commission following the hurricane, so don’t go there planning to spend hours shopping or eating.
    • Herbie :
      Intriguing; does this suggest that while Ellen may have lived in NYC at one point, she no longer does?

      Ellen :
      Alot of the SEAPORT IS OPEN! Fooey on you for NOT promoteing the City to this nice woman.
      And of course I am real. Who is typeing this if I am not real? How silly it is for this faceless person to question ME! Just read up on it yourselfes! Silly GURL!
      And BTW, I LIVE in Manhattan now. I am JUST on vacation now working on loosing some weight b/f I go back for my weigh-in with the manageing partner. I can make $500 if I loose 5 pound’s! Yay!!!!!!

      Wanda :
      Try editing the slide in slide master view to remove the footnote
      • Ellen :
        I will try. Thank you. You are WONDERFUL WANDA for helpeing, not like some other’s who say I am not real.
        I am meeting MYRNA and we are goeing up to ROBERTA’s to celanrate NEW YEARS Eve b/c her husband is away on a business Tripp to Taiwan. We are going up to get DELI but I will NOT Eat bread or any thing but DIET DR BROWNS soda b/c I am still 3 pound’s over what I need. Myrna says I can keep useing her Exercycle until my tush is flat like hers! I said that means she is gifteingit to me!
        My mom and dad bought me a nice silver BROOCH from lord and Taylor that I will wear to meet the supermarkit guy’s. And now the doorman is calling me statuesque! He must be dreameing or . FOOEY if it is the BOTTEL talking!

Thursday, December 27, 2012


"Cleints" should have been acknowledged long ago as one of Ellen's stable misspellings. It really does not vary.

Ellen :
Of course good thoughts!! The managing partner wants me to meet 2 POTENTAL CLEINTS he has recruted from the Lambs club. He wants ME to breif them about WC litiegeation technique’s in NYC CIVIL COURT! I have no speceific pointer’s except to wear clotheing that the judge likes and ALWAYS to stand when addresing the bench.
But the Manageing partner wants these cleint’s who are in the supermarkit business and are VERY FAMOUS!
He said if I land these two cleint’s that I will get an extra bonus!! Yay!!
But I need to get a pair of black pumps b/c my Ann Klein’s got caught in the storm drain during SANDY. FOOEY!

[Sunshine Girls Try to Lock Up Their Daughter]

The Sunshine Girls have always maintained a ferocious, prim stance against every man who has expressed interest in Ellen--and many who haven't--but the latest from them, as two verbose remarks below illustrate, is about some of their male colleagues. They had mentioned this threat before, but now we have much more detail. It seems these "Sunshine Guys" are so compelled by descriptions of Ellen's physique and career that they are searching her out, guided by YOUR'S TRUELY. As usual, the Gals are more concerned than I am. From where I sit, Ellen is EXTREEMLY experieanced dealing with inappropriate suitors, so even if she is ever located by those less reverent than I, she can avoid the impending moral cliff even without any protracted negotiation. 

First, from Corporette:

A Sunshine Girl :
Ellen, you probably won’t see this post, but we want to warn you that there are a lot of guys out there (including 3 in our law firm alone) who can’t wait to figure out where you work and live. They are very attracted to you but alas, want only to “tap” you. This is precisely the problem all of us professional gals have with so-called men. The so-called worthy professional guys out there (with a job, an apartment and a bank account)are seeking only momentary thrills from women — they want to have sex only, while worthy women like us, who have worked very hard for what we have got — good jobs, professional credentials, decent living spaces and some money — are now looking just to complete the picture by finding a decent guy to marry and settle down with.
Why is it that the decent guys (or those we think are decent) do not want to have meaningful relationships leading to marriage and family? Why do they view us as mere sex objects, to be “tapped” and then replaced with the next cute blond willing to part her legs for them? What is wrong with the society we live in where men like this are not interested in a woman the morning after the woman has given of herself to him? I think this is the steep moral cliff that we are about to go over, which is much worse than the “fiscal cliff” these guys are talking about. Some of them want us all to go over that cliff too, because they do not want to have to pay for everyone else’s health benefits. But enough about those guys. I say we women have to stick together and not give in to immediate sexual demands of men like this. If we do, we are only feeding the flames of the fire rather than redirecting the energy of these men to what they ought to be doing; i.e., marrying us and settling down as our parents did. They all think they are some kind of rock stars. They are not. They are urban professionals like us, and should be thrilled when we show enough interest in them to go out with them. This immorality has got to stop. Now!

And just a few minutes earlier, they had left the following comment here, in response to questions from me. 

Yes, these pigs are avid followers of your site. They are fixated on locating Ellen, but do not have any clues beyond what you have given them. They know she works somewhere around Penn Station and that she lives somewhere in the East 70's uptown. They keep thinking that she must take the 4, 5 or 6 to work, and have even gotten to the point that they were going to rotate staking out the 33rd and 77th street stops on the 6, but abandoned that idea because of the unpredictable nature of Ellen's comings and goings. They bemoan the fact that she does not give out any advance specifics or they'd otherwise be on to her like a hunter to its prey. What gets us so ticked off about their attitudes is that while Ellen (and the rest of us) want to find worthy guys to date and marry, these men (who might otherwise seem eligible at a distance), think only of "stuffing her stocking" and discarding her like the other paralegals at the firm, after they have dropped their loads. Why can't eligible women like us find guys who want to do more than pump and dump? For some sick reason, these guys think that you, ELLENWatch, "will lead them to the promised land", meaning Ellen! We do not want to give any one of them the satisfaction, because no matter how saavy Ellen may be, she still can fall prey to losers like these who will do little more than deceive Ellen into having sex with them and then dump her after chalking up another notch on their (miniature) peckers. If you do discover exactly where she lives or works, do not disclose it on this blog, because these guys will be there faster than a pig in slop. They are that smitten with her, her blond look, her smarts and even her slightly large tuchis. 3 of the guys have specifically commented to us that they "would tap us if we had a tuchis like Ellen". Can you imagine the nerve of these guys, who are all over 30 years old? How immature is that? Tap us? What are we, kegs of beer? What do they think we are getting out of it? We have absolutely no desire to be "tapped" by any man, unless we were married to them. Please keep this in mind as you pursue your otherwise excellent resource on all things Barshefsky. 

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

took away my cookies and is makeing me eat CARROT sticks

Ellen :
I ran with Myrna and I am SO TIRED! FOOEY! I now have to do 45 minutes on Myrna’s Exercycle before she comes back. She took away my cookies and is makeing me eat CARROT sticks. FOOEY! But if I get the $500 I will give Myrna $100. Yay!

If I run a 5K how far is that?

The question here reminds me of the genius in August's "When is it?"
We'll see if Ellen's posts actually stop featuring CRUMB'S. Seems like a big leap to me.

Ellen :
I have to run tomorow with Myrna, but it is goeing to snow, so mabye we will NOT have to. I have lost 2 pounds so far, so I have alot more to do by January 2. I have to loose 5 pounds by January 2, so that means NO Crumbs! FOOEY!
If I run a 5K how far is that?

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

LIKE HE was my shapparone or something

Merry Christmas indeed! Best to all my readers for the season, regardless of what is or is not being celebrated.

Ellen has thus attended the Matzo Ball for at least the second year in a row. I enjoy Evan's encapsulation of baldness and bad breathe, the two most consistant strikes against men in Ellen's life. He does potentially sound more age-appropriate, however, so even if not as a cleint perhaps we will hear more of him. Or he could try both angles, as did (unsuccessfully) Jim.

Ellen :
Merry Christmas to KAT and the Hive!!!! Yay!
I went with Myrna last nite to THE MATZO Ball. She is a dude magnet so I figured I could meet a decent guy. She did but I came up EMPTY. FOOEY!
This 1/2 bald guy Evan, with terible breathe kept following me around all nite. He was some INTERENET enterprenoor who has his own company in SOHO. He kept askeing me if I wanted to see his place. NOT AT 2 I the morning I said. He stayed behind me all nite LIKE HE was my shapparone or something and the when I left and was lookeing for a cab, his choffer pulled up and waived Evan over and said get in I will drop you off. I actually acepted ONLY b/c it was cold and wet and there was no cabs around.
He dropped me off but I did not let him do anything. He said he owns a place in SILICONE VALLEY TOO and hires lawyers all the time. Against my better jugement I gave him my business card. If I am goeing to be a partner I CANNOT be jugementeal my dad says. I have to be nice to EVERYBOEDY so I bring in buseness!!!! Yay!
This guy wants to DATE ME and I just want his company as a cleint. I will ask the Manageing partner b/c he said he would call I hope I can get him as a cleint w/o haveing to date him.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Myrna will be my trainor

So Ellen is going to weigh in, literally, on her first day back at work. The wildly inappropriate enmeshment goes on! Remember this isn't Dad surveilling, it's MP! As for the running shoe reimbursement, I don't know why 30% is again the figure we're talking about. Ellen had explained to me that her subsidy was lowered back to 20% due to suspicions of playing favorits

The coment about how you can't threadjack an open thread I have seen before. Witty as always!

Ellen :
Yay! Open Thread’s! I love open thread’s! There can, by definition, be NO Threadjack’s!
I am waiteing for Myrna to come over with her exercycle. She is loaning it to me b/c I told the manageing partner I needed alot of new clothe’s b/c of my tuchus, and he gave me a chalenge. He said if I could loose 5 pound’s by January 1 (technicaly Jan 2, b/c I am home Jan 1), he will give me $500 as a bonus OVER AND ABOVE my clotheing alowance! YAY!
I was worried that I could not loose 5 pound’s, but Myrna will be my trainor, and she is bringeing over her exercycle for me to use in front of my TV. She said that b/c I sit at home all the time watching TV, I can use her exercycle to watch tv and exercize at the same time. Also, she thinks that it COULD help my tuchus, but she did NOT hold out alot of hope b/c she said she does NOT beleive in SPOT reduceing.
She also is takeing me running in Central Park! FOOEY. I do NOT like to run, and have to get running shoe’s that the manageing partner will NOT 30% reimbeurse for b/c they are NOT to be worn in the office. FOOEY!
I have 12 day’s to loose 5 pound’s! I can do it MYRNA says! Yay!!!!

Friday, December 21, 2012

kept makeing these clickeing noises with his tongue alot

I think this may be Ellen's longest comment ever. But I might have known that postmortem on the firm party would be mostly about the food. No confrontation on the partnership issue by Dad or, apparently, by Roberta either. Don't know if Harold or his bald father were in the house or what. Overall, we have less to say this morning than I expected.

I don't know what else Gone-zalo did off camera to cross Ellen, but if the self-censoring here is in response to my complaints about Latin lover stereotyping, then thank's Ellen/Sunshine Girls for fooeying that. 

I'll assume Ellen's span of days off from work does not equal a span of days off from posting, and will stay on the job (here) as consistently as possible. To all celebrating next week, let me join Ellen in wishing you a happy holiday, right now, nonetheless.

Day's be merry AND brite!

Ellen :
Yay! FRUEGEL FRIDAY’s! I like the top, but do NOT want to have the manageing partner and Frank peeking! FOOEY.
I sympathise with you. I think the older guy’s at the party are NOT acting apropriately. YOU should talk to your boyfreind to make sure he does NOT look up to guy’s like that, b/c he could be goieng out drinkeing with those guy’s when you are NOT thereto police him. FOOEY on those men for NOT being faithful to their wive’s.
I just had our firm’s party last nite and it was generaly good, but there was a problem. My dad got VERY mad b/c Gonezalo kept makeing these clickeing noises with his tongue alot when I walked by, and my dad said it was demening to me sexueally. I am VERY used to guy’s who do thing’s like that, and am NOT attracted to men who think I am interested in that, b/c I know that just is subjugeateing to me as a WOMAN, so I just IGNORE that. FOOEY on Gonezalo for alot of reasons, that I do NOT even care to disscuss.
But anyway, my dad is VERY protective of me and he called GONEZALO out on it, makeing him apologise to me. Fortuneatlely I was abel to NIP thing’s in the bud by telleing my dad that I was NOT interested in him or ANY guy who did that. My dad also had a great talk with Roberta, and Roberta ate alot of the cheeze and so many other ordurves that she could NOT even eat the Sammon or the cake’s we had brought in from CRUMBS! I had the resturant package up all of the deserts, and I gave doggie boxes of cookies and cakes to Margie and the Manageing Partner (includeing the rasberrry cookies, YUM!!!), Roberta, Frank and Myrna. Myrna also got to take home 3 bottel’s of UNOPENED Cabernay and some white wine that I did NOT even try.
Dad brought home some chicken and 2 fillet minnon’s home for mom b/c he said mom would like it. I hope she does. Frank took home alot of the chicken too. He said he has 3 cats who will eat it, but I think he is goieng to eat it himself. I personaly only took home desert. I do NOT like to reheat food. FOOEY!
The manageing partner REALY liked my dad, and they agreed to meet to play golf together at the manageing partner’s club nearby in the SPRING. Yay! I was so worried that My dad would talk SHOP with the manageing partner about ME and my caseload’s and my need for a better ofice with a WINDOW and the whole thing about the PARNTERSHIP and buyeing in! Wow, I am glad that they did NOT.
Gonezalo did an OK job with the place, but the hired help was NOT seasoned. We had a couple of women who served CRU DE TEY instead of the pig’s in the blanket I ordered. Frank got a little drunk (what’s new) and Jim and his genereal council were there long enough to scoop up most of the vanilla HAGEN DAZ ice cream before other’s could getat it.
With all of the peeople, we could NOT have a 100% sit down dinner, so peeople had to serve themselfes dinner, but they DID deliver coffee, tea and desert to the table’s (except for the ice cream, which was SERVE yourselfes.
So all in all, it was GOOD. I am stayeing at home to relax and am NOT goeing back to work until WEDNESDAY, so I have a lot of time off to relax. YAY!!!!!!
I have alot of thing’s to do and am goeing to call MYRNA later today after I finish watcheing TV!
Happy HOLIDAY’s to Kat and to all at the HIVE!!!!!! Yay!!!!

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

would LOOK good in this BLUE!

Ellen considers a cobalt pantsuit. Her shopping moratorium was in solidarity with people who did not promptly get power back after Hurricane Sandy.

Ellen :
I am goeing to ask the manageing partner if he think’s I would LOOK good in this BLUE! It is being sold at MACY’s, which is real close by to here, so I could EASILY pick it up over LUNCH. Mabye I should first have a look MYSELF before askeing him.
It would be my FIRST purchase in along time! Yay! I did NOT even buy anything for the holiday’s, YET! But that will have to wait until NEXT week, b/c I will be very busy tomorow and I am takeing off Friday to recuppereate! Yay!!!!!!

takeing it over for DINNER and Drink’s also

Confirming the firm party is tomorrow night. Sound's like the 1950s theme idea got ditched somewhere along the line.  Also, "Gone"-zalo now seems permenently out of the running in Ellen's love life. 

Ellen :
My FATHER established an IRA for me along time ago, but I do NOT know FOR SURE what kind it is. He also contribueted money in it for me when I was NOT workeing, but NOW that I am at the firm, the manageing partner put’s some of my salary in a 401K, which I think is the same thing, so if you can get a 401K, then I would go for that.
Tomorow, I have to leave early to go to the resturant to prepare for the party. They STILL are useing the resturant for LUNCH, but we are takeing it over for DINNER and Drink’s also. The manageing partner told them today ONLEY to have “TOP SHELF” liquer there, but MYRNA says we NEED to be sure they are NOT just filling the bottel’s with cheep stuff. So she VOLUNEERED to come by early b/c she knows alot about wine and liquer, and she can tell if the bottels have the real stuff or cheep stuff.
She also will INSIST that we ONLEY have sealed bottel’s there, so that the resturant does not refill the bottels. I am so GLAD some times that I have peeople that know about these things, but I hope that GONEZALO would not stiff the manageing partner, b/c he is spending alot of money. I can NOT even say how much b/c it is to much! So if you don’t see me posteing, it is b/c I am goeing to be VERY busy tomorow with all of my cleint’s. I hope this all pay’s off for me and it is a BIG SUCESS!!!!! YAY!

[Urgent: PPT request response]

Psssst! Ellen, the Sunshine Girls say they have retrieved some do diligeince powerpoints for you to give to the Manageing Partner. Is it to late? If not, please see the comment under the post in which you asked for help. Should you use any of these presentations, it's the least you could do to thank your freinds and blogger in your first-ever comment RIGHT HEAR. Sign it for good measure.


whether we are related to other peeople

On the benefits of getting an individual, commercial DNA test. We've heard a little bit before about Leyeh and the Russian roots (I didn't know about any czarina, though!) And I'm surprised Ellen didn't mention her likely relation to Maria Sharapova here. She was already planning to say hi at the next tennis match, would it be too much to ask also for a blood sample? 

Ellen has often suggested that her glorious mind comes from Dad, where her inflated tuchus comes from Mom. Very consistent with our gender politic's here.

Ellen :
It could ALSO be used productieveley, to determine thing’s like whether we are related to other peeople!
It would be VERY interesting if my father, who rejected joining MENSA, was related to other very smart peeople, and if so, WHO they are. Genetic’s aside, I would like to know if we are REALLY desended from Russian royalty, as Grandma Leyeh said, or whether we are just desendent’s of commoners. That would be a FOOEY!
If that is what this kind of test can do, I am ALL for it. YAY!
For now, I may get this for my dad, b/c whatever he is desended from, so am I. I could also get one for my mom, but I think I get my SMART’s from my dad, and the Barshevsky line.
If I get it and I am desended from Royalty, mabye the manageing partner will give me a better office! That would be a major COO for me! Yay!!!!!!

Tuesday, December 18, 2012


Frank's stareing has become almost as frequently worthy of mention as MP's. 

I wonder what kind of edit's Ellen might make if somebody actually did pass on a ppt to her. Picture MP proudly showing, for example, this post--as is but in bullet format and maybe with silly colors, shapes and animation reminiscent of his favorite associate. 

Ellen :
OMG, this dress is so cute! But no way with with my tuchus being what IT is now– HUGE!!!!
Frank and the manageing partner would be stareing at me way to much!
Does anyone in the HIVE have a INTERNET LINK to a POWERPOINT presenteation on how to do diliegience that I can use, so I can give the manageing partner a presentation for his CLE class?
I know alot about it, but do NOT have the LEGAL underpinneings that HE is lookeing for. The CLE peeople at the bar are askeing for a copy NOW, and I have NOT even started on it! FOOEY!

Monday, December 17, 2012

I am for STRICT gun control.

No comment, except that this adds to the very little we know about Ellen's politics. She probably should have held her peace on this topic.

Ellen :
I am for STRICT gun control. I do NOT understand why the mom either needed so many GUBS, nor why she exposed her son, who was NOT normal in anyone’s book, to all of these guns. It is bad enough when peeople have guns. But why expose the son, a TICKING TIMEBOMB, to guns like these??? FOOEY ON THAT!
I AGREE WITH OBAMA THAT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. Limit guns to those who need them, not every loser on the street. FOOEY.

"Got it?"

This is the closest we have to any roundup of the Sunshine Girls' judgments on Ellen's suitors (and in other news, they actually responded, directly, to a question from me). It's fairly comprehensive, if we assume there's nothing more to be said about ALAN. Personally, I think both Ellen and the S&S Associates are being a bit harsh on David, but do other reader's have input? 

This is not the first observation that the Sunshine Girls have so many commonalities with Ellen that they may either be her or moving along some kind of gradual transition into Ellenhood. 

Darn it! I was hoping that Gonzalo was gone and forgotten! But things are looking up a bit if Ellen is not thinking of him in a romantic context any more. Perhaps her new focus on partnership has caused her to relegate Gonzalo to the bottom of priority pile in her subconscious. But I still am concerned. If Gonzalo was interested in pursuing Ellen as a mere associate, won't he go after her with both barrels once she's been elevated to partner? Let's hope he does not stop by the office once Ellen's name is enshrined as the first name on the door! ELLENWatch, please do whatever you can to help ensure that these two do not become a couple. Even if this schmoe looks like a pint size version of Antonio Bandares, Ellen is a lot younger than Melanie Griffith, so they should not be a couple.
  1. I had a feeling this would be your opinion. Also, this is the first time you ladies have exactly replicated my own caps/lower case arrangement of my name, so thank's for that. I feel our relationship warming.

    I'm curious: is there any man Ellen has ever met or will ever meet of whom the Sunshine Girls would approve? I may do a special post on this if I don't hear back from you.
  2. Since Ellen is much like us, as 5th and 6th year associates at a large NYC Firm (which will go unnamed), we would want the same type of man for her as we do for ourselves. An educated, handsome man who has a good job and will be a devoted family man, willing to put us first while advancing mutual needs. As such, a lazy do nothing like Harold does nothing for us, and an opportunistic prick like David (trying to curry favor with the dad using the religion card) is also despicable. Finally, we see nothing redeeming in a guy who works in a restaurant, and likely in need of a green card, who would view us as not much more than a combination sexual object and meal ticket.

    We want the best for Ellen (like ourselves), and will not settle for anything less. Got it?

Rosa has her own MAN

Finally, the return of ROSA! This is Ellen's Size 2 sister of whom we've heard only once by name. We still don't know whether she is the mother of niece DAWN, or if Dawn is the child of another sibling. 
It sounds like Ellen might be expecting a custom-ordered red blazer from one of the firm's clients. MP is, I suppose, more likely to get behind this project since he's so fond of Ellen in red. 

WHAT DAY is the firm party, Ellen????

Ellen :
It is dificult if you have tough Parent’s. I am sorry you have this situeation. But I am VERY fortunate that my parent’s are their for me. My dad is very smart and he handel’s all of my finanace’s (as well as his own). Rosa has her own MAN so Dad let’s him cover the finacnial matter’s. and does NOT get involved there.
Myrna and I came back here and all day SUNDAY we decorated the place. It is not NEERLY as DUMPEY any more Myrna think’s! And she has some decorateing skills! YAY! I am not sure what she does at work for the holiday’s but she is very RESOURCEFUL, b/c she had some big guy haul up and put up the decoreation’s all the way from BROOKLYN to MID-TOWN! YAY!
PS: Kat, I LOVE the RED Jacket! It is very styleish, but to expensive for me even with my reimburesement from the manageing partner. I will wait for a nock-off here in the garment district. The manageing partner know’s alot of cleint’s here and they can do up one of these VERY easieley! YAY!!!!

Saturday, December 15, 2012

it is MY repueation on the line

Reprising the argument that fake people by definition cannot post comments on websights. Last time the alternate possibilities were the also-fictional Frank and Manageing Partner, and now we're scoffing at the implausibility that Kat is actually behind Ellen's coments. (We see you, straw [wo]man! Standing just as strong and tall as ever!)
This is the first mention of Gonzalo since Ellen first met him and got swept up in his dreaminess. Interesting that he seems to have been totally re-cast in a non-love interest capacity. He has a will of his own, however, so no guarantees about what does or does not go down at the NEUTRAL party next week. 
And confirming the next STL trip, presumably with Jim, is on for early January. Local Corporettes, here's another chance to have an anxiety-ridden meetup with RED CARPPET for this business traveler...

Ellen :
Yay! Open thread’s! I love OPEN thread’s! There are peeople who say I am not real. That is DUMB. Of course I am real. Who do you think is posteing! Kat? Of course NOT.
Myrna is helpeing me tomorow– we are goeing shoppeing for the decoration’s for next week’s pre-holiday party office spruce up. It is MY job to make the office look FESTIVE, but GONZALO is suposed to do the same for the resturant. I hope they do a good JOB b/c it is MY repueation on the line for recomending the place to the manageing partner.
Myrna is bringeing some new guy to help and we are takeing the 4 line to BROOKLYN again, b/c there is a place she knows that has ORNAMENTAL decor for the holiday’s and we have to be NEUTRAL in what we celebrate.
The manageing partner is makeing me prepare some materials for a CLE he is teaching on M&A activities and he want’s me to prepare a SEGMENT on conducting do diliegience in the private market. I have to get on to WESTLAW and the INTERNET to see if I can find some other presentation’s I can COPY–otherwise it is goeing to be ALOT of work. FOOEY! He has to give this CLE at the Bar Association in late January so there is NOT alot of time. He should have aksed MADELINE or one of the new asociate’s, but I guess he want’s to tap my ongoing expierience in Saint LOUIS. YAY!!!!
But I have to go out there again right after the first of the year FOOEY!

Friday, December 14, 2012

then who is typeing this, then?

Reaching for the META tag once more. This thread began with KansasAnalyst posting detailed advice in response to Ellen's many recent post's about whether/how much to buy into partnership at her firm. KA, the wonderful kindness in doing this is not diminished at all by the fact that Ellen is not necessarily a real person. Corporette badge to you, "joke" or no. (There's also, obviously, the ELLENWatch badge, but I understand if that isn't as meaningful.) 

Anne Shirley and e_pontellier, I'm not so sure that the main post (directly below) is fake. All the specifics are consistent with the info already provided. "Fake" is always relative when talking about Ellen, but I don't see this as any clear departure from whomever has been steering the ship lately. It's true that her posts often range across many topics, but the ones about partnership have been relatively focused. This is big biz for her! Finally, the ultimate tautology ("how can I be a fake commenter on the internet when I'm sitting here commenting on the internet?!") was inaugurated on the occasion of Ellen's getting kicked off the ABA site, (scroll to the bottom--this was 2008) and apparently if it ain't broke....

  • Ellen :
    Wow! Thank you SOOOOO much for this insight!
    Unfortuneately, I do NOT know all the answer’s to these question’s JUST yet, but I am going to print out and show them to my dad. For #1 Frank prepare’s the finanecial statements with a CPA firm who’s name I do not have handy, but there’s a guy who comes around every year to do the taxes too. (He is always sweateing and sometime’s asks me where the pantry is b/c we have cold soda’s there).
    For #2, we get salaries and I think the partner’s get a draw and then a profit shareing that they have to pay taxe’s on. Roberta and Dad think I should negotieate to get a share of my own business, but I do not think the manageing partner is goieing to be happy if we ask for that, personaeally.
    For #3, I have to ask my dad. He says I am not getting alot in my 401K, but I think he said it is insured and exempt from taxes. My dad makes all my investment’s for me so he should tell me this.
    For #4, I am only goieing to be a JUNIOR partner, and I do not know what kind of vote I will get. No one has shown me anything yet, and that is why my dad keeps talking about do diliegeince.
    The manageing partner alway’s keeps everything closed to the vest, so I wonder if he is even goieing to share anything with me.
    Thank you again. It is great to know that I have good freind’s in the hive who know about these things. This way, I can tell my dad FOOEY when he asks if I shouldn’t get Alan involved here. He would NOT be of much help anyway, as he drink’s all the time. DOUBEL FOOEY!
    • KansasAnalyst :
      Ellen- if the managing partner won’t give you this information I would say DO NOT put any money in. If you wanted to invest in a company and they refused to provide you with their financial history, would you still give them money? I also spoke with my boss about this and he agreed. The partners may need some liquidity injected into the practice which is why they offered. Don’t take that the wrong way- I always am suspicious and assume the worst about deals. My boss has seen that happen before and the business closed down less than a year later.
      I think number crunching is fun so I would love to help. :)
  • cc :
    Do you know Ellen is a fake personality?
    • This is a complex situation, because a substantial minority of my readers do believe Ellen’s posts track at least somewhat with a real person’s real experience ( Thus, on some level, her question might be genuine. The prospect of her emailing KansasAnalyst, however, is still 3-alarm for me.
      I will hold off blogging this until the immensely generous KA has had a chance to respond.
      • Anne Shirley :
        @EllenWatch- this Ellen above sounds like an imposter to me
      • e_pontellier :
        Ditto to Anne Shirley. ELLEN always comments about many different topics in her posts, and rarely stays on the same topic for more than one paragraph.
      • Cb :
        Maybe I’m naive but I kind of thought Ellen was real. Exxagerated but definitely a real person.
    • TBK :
      It’s funny, this is the first time I’ve seen Ellen respond directly to someone. It’s almost like she’s real…
    • Ellen :
      FOOEY! then who is typeing this, then?
      If I was a FAKE, then who is sitteing at the keyboard right now?
      The manageing partner (or Frank)? DOUBEL FOOEY! Of course not!
      They are both to busy stareing at my tuchus all day b/c I am very REAL!
      I can’t wait for our holiday party. Yay!
      • KansasAnalyst :
        I thought you were real… I hoped you were. @ Ellenwatch- Darn! I guess I didn’t get the joke? I just thought she was really funny but I didn’t know there were questions on if she was real or not..