Tuesday, July 31, 2012

JUST like Britt Eckland

(Unabel to find a picture of her in a scrunchie)
Major respect to Seattleite, the only freind for many months now who has achieved a volley with Ellen! But we've known for a while that Ellen is blonde. (We do get the first affirmation here that she has a long style, and also that it's either dyed blonde or that she's a natural blonde who experimented with going darker long ago.) I think she's haveing fun with us today, acknowledging that at least some of her readers would love to know what she looks like. 
Ekland actually is similar to how I imagine Ellen--cuteness toned down a few notches, though, and (as self-reported) with a few additional pounds. I think bangs are likely--anyone else?
Fitting, also, that Jim would liken his young crush to an ingenue of days gone by...this strengthens my suspicion that Jim is more in the age range of MP rather than Ellen (in her early thirties). We may also be hearing Jim, and by association Ellen, admitting that her most beauteous days are already in the past. This fits the general theme of Ellen as hapless modern working woman, losing her bloom while sitting on the marital shelf. 
Additional remarks: 
This coment says WASTE as if IN YOU'RE FACE. Thus our author is either the alleged Fraud or the accuser trying to reclaim spELLEN.
Finally, aside: the body of the Corporette post itself used "Fooey"! Many readers, along with yours truly, praised Kat for it. 
--LAST CALL for Poll #2! Please vote if you haven't already!--

Ellen July 31, 2012 at 2:17 pm
This is SO funny!
Just yesterday, Jim said that I look JUST like Britt Eckland. I still do NOT know if it was a compelement or NOT but he said it in a NICE way.
But I am NO where even near 40 yet and he said she was alot older then me b/c she was VERY famous many year’s ago.
So if ANYONE knows what she look’s like you can see what I look like, at least acording to Jim.
Seattleite July 31, 2012 at 3:29 pm
Huh. Ellen, I had you pegged as a brunette.
Ellen July 31, 2012 at 4:40 pm
I havent’ been a brunette for a LONG time. And of course even tho my hair is long, it doesnt go all the way to my WASTE. I don’t think the Manageing Partner wood like THAT, even if Jim wood.

Read more: http://corporette.com/2012/07/31/can-older-women-have-long-hair-and-still-be-professional/#ixzz22F6W7Ix4

workeing my tuchus off

As if on demand, Ellen has come back to the topic of her imminent raise--though we still don't know what happened with her pitch for 10% of billings from Jim & Co. If MP is "seeing what he can do" WRT the necessary courtroom duds, I wonder if that means an increase in clotheing subsidy in lieu of equity? That would indeed be like him (and his BALD head).
I'm tagging this one for Dateing as well because Jim is involved. Observe how silently and seamlessly Jim has transitioned from new cleint, to romantic pursuer, to just another directive male voice in Ellen's life. I've always been fascinated by the way that all men in Ellen's story ultimately play the same role, or at least try to.
UPDATE: Francie Nolan poses a follow-up question and preemptively sweeps the ELLENWatch awards. Freinds on this websight! 

Ellen July 31, 2012 at 10:01 am
I need another a Raise to buy this! The Manageing partner said my raise is effective tomorrow, but I already budgetted that in. FOOEY! I need another one fast!
I am workeing my tuchus off on my new Cleints’ cases and need to look profesional when I go to court. Jim says that means MORE conservative clotheing and NO open toe shoe’s. FOOEY!
I told this to the Manageing partner and he said he will see what he can do. Yay !
Francie Nolan July 31, 2012 at 12:00 pm
Do you have an opionion on which is the better of the three lord and taylors on long island ellen?

Read more: http://corporette.com/2012/07/31/tuesdays-tps-report-cambridge-blazer/#ixzz22Dug3Eti

Monday, July 30, 2012

so I canbuild my port follieo

We were supposed to hear what happened today when Ellen asked MP for 10% of billing's from the new cleints. Instead, this. Do I hear another cry of fakerism? The spELLEN here is fairly outrageous in places, but it also looks like something that could have been written using my home page as a crib sheet. No mention of the raise/bonus that takes effect on Wednesday either. Ellen: if you're gonna do it, do it. Please.
Playing along, at least for now: it appears Ellen's professional aspirations have come full circle, and now affirmatively include making partner. 

Ellen July 30, 2012 at 6:25 pm
I work at a small firm AND even I think of junpeing ship from time to time. Like when I have alot of work when the MAnageing partner does NOT and he just ooogeles me all day while buffeing his BALD head. But Other times I decide to stay b/c the Manageing partner sends me to get cookies from Crumbes bakary, or give’s me a gift card from Lord and Taylor (my fave!) OR gives me a chalengeing case to try!
So you have to aske your self do I feel lucky In my job? If you always say no then it is time to start lookeing.
You might want to look inhouseOr appley for a judgship which I will do after I have kids. For now I need to be a partner and schmooze the cleint’s alot more so I canbuild my port follieo. Yay!

Read more: http://corporette.com/2012/07/30/coffee-break-katia-essential-wallet/#ixzz229irtdDT

Sunday, July 29, 2012

"I liek these POST’S."

Interesting. S&S Associate, are you reading? How about our Anonymous First Amendment crusader? Am I correct in understandeing that you are KIDDING? The only person I recognize on this thread is beloved mamabear, who maintains healthy perspective while still standing her ground. 
At any rate, pace Annoyed, this battle has been fought and lost many times. Kat shared on ELLENWatch that she does try to preview Ellen's posts, but she's taken no actions to exclude them for several years now. (She's actually kind of an ELLENWatcher in her own right, of which I'm quite proud.) I will never respond to people saying Ellen should be banned, nor would I stage any protest if it happened, because it's up to Kat. In the meantime, however, Ellen remains, and her defenders probably don't even need to spend the breath. 
Thanks anyway, freinds...
By the way, on page 2 this weekend Jill is finally back, PTOOEYing and referring to Ellen as "kin." There's also talk of a (real) female firm lawyer getting a (real) clothing budget from her (real) boss. I'll be checking back to see if Ellen or any of her kin chimes in on this very familiar topic. Anne Shirley has warned of pitfall's, but our ladies speak from expearience.

Annoyed July 27, 2012 at 5:53 pm
Please, Kat, can’t you filter the Ellen posts? They aren’t funny. Your blog deserves better than his/her/its stupid nonsense.
S&S Associate July 28, 2012 at 10:40 am
Lighten up! No one is forcing you to read it.
Personally, I look forward to finding Ellen’s posts and am disappointed if I miss them.
As the Supreme Court said in Cohen v. California, you are always free to avert your eyes.
Keep up the posts, Kat. We love them at S&S.
mamabear July 28, 2012 at 2:25 pm
Me TO. I liek these POST’S.
Anonymous July 28, 2012 at 5:54 pm
Hurray for Kat and preserving the First Amendment and the ability to FOOEY!
Say offensive words are printed on someone’s t-shirt and you feel your moral beliefs have been violated. Well, too bad — avert your eyes, the Supreme Court declared in Cohen v. California. Does pornography offend your moral sensibilities? That’s not a good enough reason to be able to ban it, the Seventh Circuit decided in American Booksellers Association v. Hudnut. These rulings make it clear that although minorities have a right to their views, private moral and religious beliefs cannot constrain others’ behavior.

Read more: http://corporette.com/2012/07/27/weekend-open-thread-143/#ixzz223RpAIPA

"Ellen is Cool."

This coment MADE my weekend--showing up right here on ELLENWatch, on my last post! Go see for yourself if you don't believe me!

"Ellen is Cool. She has to be very cute for MP to put up with her. And this website does a great job of keeping us current with her antics! I don't think Ellen would be so coddled (20% clothing rebate) and trips with the MP unless she was gorgeous"

Vera? Wilma? Belinda G.? Is that you?

They said this day would never come! And I know, I know, it probably didn't. It's not even worth trying to figure out whether this is Ellen since we cannot even establish how many Ellens may be walking among us. Just the same, let me count the ways that this comment honors the spirit:
  1. Random capitalization--but only on one word. She can't lay it on too thick, especially on her first appearance here.
  2. Speaking of which..."cool"? That is one adjective that even I would never associate with our dear heroine. Love is blind for this fan, apparently. 
  3. "Antics"--also a highly imprecise way to sum up what Ellen tends to relay to us. 
  4. Attribution of all professional perks in Ellen's work life to her attractiveness rather than her skills.
One miscellaneous note from me--this commenter has accepted the abbreviation "MP," which nobody else, including any incarnation of Ellen, ever has. For this reason, as well as the commenter's praise for my blog, and all the rest of the above-outlined glory, I want to say thank's! You've come to EXACKLY the right place, Anonymous. 

Friday, July 27, 2012

equity partipaetion

This is the first unequivocal statement we have that Ellen does not want to date Jim. Meanwhile, the continuing juxtaposition between utter dependence ("according to Dad") and claims to independence ("can't rely on a man to suport me!") I, at least, do remember that Ellen wants to stop working when she gets married. Thus the issue is simply that this hasn't happened yet, not that she plans to be financially independent for life.
I look forward to hearing what hapen's on Monday. Somehow I don't think this will go well. 

Ellen July 27, 2012 at 4:57 pm
FOOEY! I have to much work all of a sudden and no more money from the Manageing partner.
I want some equity partipaetion according to Dad.
Monday I will ask the Manageing partner for 10% of the Billieng’s on my new cleint and if Jim keepes giveing me new Case’s I will be Abel to save a chunk of change in my 401k. YAY!
I do not want to date him and I can’t rely on a man to suport me! FOOEY!

Read more: http://corporette.com/2012/07/27/weekend-open-thread-143/#ixzz21rPzedGJ

fake Ellen saying I’m not the real Ellen

I assume Marilla is rounding out our Anne of
Green Gables
 cast on Corporette.
It's on, apparently! Here the alleged fake Ellen returns, complete with reference to her WASTE to remind us of her last appearance, and counter-claims that her accuser is the fraud.
I didn't want to call on ANALYTIC'S again so soon, but it look's like I have to. I'll let you know what they say.
For now, however, I will venture it's totally possible this Ellen, below, was the blawger of ABA-expulsion fame, now a relatively infrequent guest on Corporette, and is trying to reclaim the mantle that she de facto forfeited over the past few years. I can certainly understand that this blog, say, would stir any and all former Ellens to attempt taking back their euneek position. At the same time, part of me wants this either settled or abandoned, because ELLENWatching is (alas) not my full-time gig.
Fraud debate aside, let's admire Ellen (or whomever) for joining in the conversation about the Skirt and how it may or may not now fit differently. This Ellen, at least, really knows how to fit in. (Oopsie--return of the PUNNS)
UPDATE: Lourine enters the fray to defend the non-WASTE Ellen. [Hat tip TCFKAG.] The term "kinfolk" will be reused a few days later by Jill. Lourine attempts to reestablish credibility by reminding us that it was she who shared that Grandma Leyeh started Ellen on FOOEY. 

Ellen July 27, 2012 at 1:39 pm
I do NOT like the new Skirt! The old one was curvy enuf to encase my tuchus and still hug my WASTE! And FOOEY on a fake Ellen saying I’m not the real Ellen! FOOEY!
Marilla July 27, 2012 at 1:45 pm
Circles within circles and wheels within wheels… paging EllenWatch!
Lourine July 27, 2012 at 3:14 pm
This is CLEARLY a fraud posting as my kinfolk.
I may not like everything the real Ellen does and says, but she is kinfolk, and I can surely smell out a fake! As Leyeh would say: FOOEY!
KS July 27, 2012 at 1:54 pm
Ha ha! This is pretty funny.
TCFKAG July 27, 2012 at 1:56 pm
OH GOD. Now they’re messing with us. ITS BLOWING MY MIND.

Read more: http://corporette.com/2012/07/27/frugal-fridays-tps-report-seamed-pencil-skirt/#ixzz21qareRyQ

What hapened to my coment?

TC conjures me by alchemy, has not been
pictured as often as January so far.
Absolutely, folks. Yesterday Ellen appears to have: 1) Posted anonymously and gotten stuck one way or another; 2) Posted as Ellen asking what had happened to her comment; 3) Cut her losses and posted full content again in the event that the first one never published. This is fabulous fodder and I'm sorry I wasn't there to blog it in real time. (Thank's to my diligent freinds as always.) This is an unprecedented window into Ellen's process, showing which elements of a particular day's post are so integral that she can remember them off the cuff, and which ones get lost in the urgency of makeing sure that SOMETHING reaches the HIVE. 
My thoughts...

  • Ellen wanted to clear up any confusion about who Jim is. I had tentatively assumed he was indeed the cleint, but this settles the issue for certain. I was also under the impression from earlier references that Ellen actually was considering dating him. Is she just playing prim Corporette here? If she has alot of thinkeing to do, is it because she's trying to find a way to, say, get married and quit working forever without going through any period of discomfort with MP? 
  • The thinner sister appears again, but only in post 1. Recall that I think this might be the glamorous ROSA who sometimes posts as LOURINE...though that is little more than an educated hunch at this point. I still would love to know whether this is DAWN'S mother. 
  • Interesting that once again the in-house job and attendant car service dream shows up, as an afterthought, in Post 2 but not Post 1. It almost seems interchangeable with the story of weight comparison between sisters (and indeed both are pretty standard Ellen and thus perhaps dispensable to this announcement).
  • Back to the indispensable--along with Jim being the cleint, Ellen wants to make sure we know how resentful she is of the compensation structure at Manageing and MANAGEING. I'll go ahead and take credit for being the first to raise the possibility of Ellen actually making partner. She's already seemed a little annoyed by her position on the ladder before--working around to the issue of pay gradually, as opposed to just the ooogeling--and now she's downright impatient and even reaching the point of practical strategy. What if she does indeed ask for a cut? Will MP just offer her some of his wife's old perfume? 
By the way...please take POLL #2 if you haven't already! Result's and analyseis of the last go-around are here

Anonymous July 26, 2012 at 1:50 pm
This is FUNNY!
I have a very similer DRESS that my SISTER bought in TARGET and gave to me, and she said she paid only $37.00 INCLUDEING tax! YAY!!!!!
The onley reason that she gave me the dress is b/c she is too thin and the dress HANG’s on her. She told me that I have a few extra POUNDS so the dress fitted. She was right.
Anyway, I have been WAY to busy workeing all of the new cases that Jim gave me. But I am NOT makeing any extra, just the manageing partner who is in CHARGE of the billeing for the client. FOOEY! I think I should make a cut for all the extra work I am doeing on these cases.
I also have to figure out how to keep Jim at ARM’S length, because he is the CLEINT!
I have alot of thinkeing to do.
gov anon July 26, 2012 at 4:01 pm
Is this Ellen? Did she forget her name?
Ellen July 26, 2012 at 1:52 pm
What hapened to my coment?
Ellen July 26, 2012 at 1:55 pm
I have alot of thing’s on my MIND. The cleint, Jim, wants me to do MORE WORK, but I am NOT getting any extra pay.\
The manageing partner is makeing a fortune on me and I wonder why I cannot ask for a cut. I am workeing now every nite until after 8 (FOOEY) and then have to take the subway home.
If I was In-HOUSE, I could take a car SERVICE. YAY!
But I can NOT, and the manageing partner is not workeing any harder, just me. FOOEY!
I also have to keep Jim at arm’s length. My mom says NEVER mix work with personal thing’s and Jim want’s to get romantic. I do NOT want to loose the cleint, but also do NOT want to do anything fooleish! Help!
TCFKAG July 26, 2012 at 2:29 pm
Ellenwatch…what’s happening. Ellen is going rogue on US!!!!
January July 26, 2012 at 4:38 pm
I am awaiting a post about Ellen’s creative process now. This is fascinating.

Read more: http://corporette.com/2012/07/26/thursdays-tps-report-blue-silk-asymmetrical-pleat-front-dress/#ixzz21pmmANpp

Thursday, July 26, 2012

POLL #2 launche's

Please see, at right, POLL #2. You're invited to select as many answers as you feel apply. Comments welcome as always! Please vote!

Here's what came of my last poll, while you're at it. Thanks very much to all who participated!

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

want’s me to co-rite an articel

Ellen July 25, 2012 at 6:58 pm

IT is a little to expensive for me and you have to be a BONE to get away with the cut. As my dad says: No way will your tuchus fit in those slacke’s Ellen!
And he is right!
The Manageing partner now want’s me to help him do a CLE but he want’s me to co-rite an articel for the law journal, and they want MY picture! I am bad on film so I said wait until I loose 7 more pound’s.
I have to tell him about my new Case’s tomorow, so I have to work. If I was in house I could get a car service home later. FOOEY!

Read more: http://corporette.com/2012/07/25/suit-of-the-week-basler/#ixzz21gM4YbAu

[Analytic's, Intuition, AND Result's of POLL #1]

Readers, the wrap-up of my poll on Ellen consistency probably could not have come at a time more opportune: Ellen flung angry allegations this week that someone was imitating her in the post "ARM around my WASTE."  I've gone back and forth on it a bit, but now I must gracefully concede that even someone frantically pounding out "euneek" may have been justified. Invocation of Ellen's father as benevolent patriarch has a certain hallowing effect too; we've seen it before.
As I mentioned, my Analytic's Department ran some tests and came up with findings that felt wrong to me--to wit, that the supposedly fraudulent post actually was fraudulent. I gave a number of reasons that I thought "Fraud tryes to be me" seemed off, however, and Analytic's was swayed by my argument. Not only were the mechanics downright showy, I contended, but Ellen was also referring to herself as a gimmick/novelty in a way that "real" Corporette commenters--of whom she pretends to be one--never do. For example, if someone other than mamabear ever posted as mamabear, the original mamabear (all her flair notwithstanding) would not post indignantly that it was "not a real mamabear post!" or that it was "fake" and that there's only one mamabear (though undoubtedly true). Instead, mamabear would remark that oddly, someone else seemed to have used her handle, and perhaps ask this other reader to choose another. I have seen this happen several times because commenters think of themselves as, you know, people, rather than as characters.
So Analytic's went back to do some more in-depth work using tecknical methodologies that I know but choose not to tell. I realize and accept that Ellen(s) may use this blog as a yardstick for content and even formatting norms, but there are certain HTML trademarks that I don't want to subject to reproduction to further confuse who is who. Analytic's also has some of its own opinions on content, which are respectfully reprinted below although I don't necessarily agree with all of them. Here is ANALYTIC'S final report (edited, with permission, for mutual fun and cover):

Dear Boss Lady,

I stick by my original statement.  I think the "fraudulent" post is
indeed fraudulent.  I looked over the entries listed recently on your
blog, and Ellen has continued to be very consistent about her 

[REDACTED: PROPRIETARY].  The WASTE post was not consistent at all.

Also, as one of your readers pointed out, Ellen has never shown any
interest in her waist before.  As I said last night, I take issue with
her construction "if I had more of a WASTE" because Ellen never wants
more of any body part.  Again, you are the expert, but the phrase "But
it’s just as well that I don’t" strikes me as unusually cogent for
Ellen.  Finally, she has recently been pretty consistent with an all
lowercase "manageing partner" (even though other readers have
commented with the "Manageing Partner" capitalization employed in this

I'd further like to point out that the objectionable Lourine post does
not use  [REDACTED: PROPRIETARY]. However, at least two other Lourine
posts did.

My theory is that there is one main Ellen (who appears to do Lourine
as well).  However, someone is trying to collaborate/usurp/take
control.  And Ellen is legitimately taking umbrage.

I looked more carefully at Ellen's original blawg.  Although I found
evidence that her blogging tool allowed [REDACTED: PROPRIETARY], she almost

never used it in her writing.  I realize that evolution is possible,
but her blawg posts are generally longer, more self conscious, and
more literate in modern feminism.  These factors suggest to me that
the blawg Ellen is not the current Corporette Ellen.  Nevertheless, I
believe the Corporette Ellen has been around a long time, pretty
consistently.  It is entirely believable that people would try to lay
their hands on her success.

In Ellen's service,


Many thank's to my colleagues for this outstandeing work.

And now, finally, for the poll results. The above verdict seems most in line with Option #2--which did indeed win the votes of ANALYTIC'S--but a majority share(d) my romantic notion of a single Ellen for all time. Notice the relatively even split among those (only slightly less than half of respondents) who do not believe in one Ellen. Of course there is a bias in who responds to this poll: these readers are enthusiastic enough to be visiting ELLENWatch and to vote (SO MANY who read but did not vote! Oh well!). I also like to think these are Ellen connoisseurs, people who know more about her and whose opinions, accordingly, are more seriously measured. 
Here we are (raw numbers followed by percentages):

The same person has almost always been responsible for all Ellen content.

34 (56%)

Since her days commenting on the ABA journal site, and then haveing her own BLAWG,
the original Ellen has retired and we have a new one.

11 (18%)

A number of people have taken a turn, mostly without overlap, posting as Ellen as far back
as 2008.

7 (11%)

Absolutely anyone can post as Ellen, so it's more or less a free-for-all.

8 (13%)

Total votes: 60

Of course, only Kat herself knows whether Kat herself voted.

Is anyone inclined to change her vote given the events of this week? As I mentioned in my initial statement about the love of Ellen that spurred me to start this blog, authenticity has never been my focus. Just the same, I'm rethinking some of my future poll ideas in light of the above.

I am very GREATFUL to all who voted! Never a dull moment, huh?

(Does Ellen do sarcasm?)

Jim is also interested in dateing me

Jim? JIM????????? 
My best guess here is that he's part of the group of new cleints who got veal piccata. "Gives out the cases" is Ellen-vague enough to refer to someone at the client organization who makes external legal retainer decisions.
However, it's also possible that Jim is internal at Manageing and MANAGEING LLP--right? That suddenly one of the other partners has decided to pursue the office eye candy?
In either case, MP's not knowing, and the threat of mixing business with dateing, are obviously relevant. By the way, the word "but" used in the last sentence--as opposed to "and"--makes me think Ellen is leaning toward at least giving Jim a chance. 
As to the alleged fakery: I'm still hesitating, and in somewhat of a struggle with the ELLENWatch Analytic's Department. But noted, lady. 

Ellen July 24, 2012 at 7:49 pm
They have VERY nice bag’s at Lord and Taylor’s but be prepaired to spendatleast $80 with a coupon.
I am glad the fake Ellen stoped posting! FOOEY on the faker for pertendeing to be me.
The manageing partner is askeing alot of questions on the new cleint so I am to busy to readCorpalette until he leave’s.
I haven’t told him that Jim is also interested in dateing me. I do not want to mix busines with dateing, but must be carefull b/c he gives out the cases.

Read more: http://corporette.com/2012/07/24/coffee-break-give-it-a-swirl-triple-row-necklace/#ixzz21dyLUuyL

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

when a Fraud tryes to be me

I should really go full-time, no? I swear this didn't actually post at 6:54 yesterday evening, but even so...
I need more time to form my best assessment of this development, but offhand, I'm not sure that the morning post in question is "fake" as opposed to this one potentially being fake. The spELLEN may be a little overdone below--but let me run my secret analytics on it before I say any more. Also, the claim that she onley posts when she has something to say, while entirely Ellen-like, really doesn't hold up when we revisit the content of the supposedly fraudulent comment. Yes, I suppose a faker could simply be embracing a formula--write something short about how MP would react to the featured item--but if this is what's going on, then the fake Ellen has for all intents and purposes overtaken the real one. 
Two additional notes: 
1) Ellen has called impostor at least once before, but in that case it was on Lourine! This make's me think that one Ellen is not on board with the friends and family Ellen plan, where another one understands (has made up) the role of characters like Lourine, Verna, Wilma etc. 
2) Is the timing coincidental on this allegation of fakery? I am just wrapping up a poll about how many Ellens we may have, and over what period...I thank the troll(s) for the graceful segue, of course, as I'm about to write it all up. But is there any chance that one or both is responding to my result's?
Thank you for your ongoing vigilance. Special ups to Francie Nolan. Comments and other intel, as always, appreciated.

Ellen July 23, 2012 at 6:54 pm
It is a GOOD buy for $10.
But I have a Beef! Their is a FAKE Ellen posteing this morning!!! FOOEY!
Kat let that fake post in but I get modderated? DOUBEL FOOEY!
I onley POST when I have some thing to say so I do not like it when a Fraud tryes to be me b/c my father says I am euneek as their is onley one ELLEN!
anonn July 24, 2012 at 9:24 am
I can’t tell if this is a joke.

Read more: http://corporette.com/2012/07/23/coffee-break-zigzag-patchwork-scarf/#ixzz21YDJ7Lfk

Monday, July 23, 2012

ARM around my WASTE

Ellen is clearly conflicted about the single most frequent topic of her comments: how she should dress in context of MP's predilections. (Their March 2012 subsidy agreement on clothing expenses has complicated matters further.) 
Most of the time she articulates, as here, a wish to deflect his inappropriate attentions, but the balance of posts are about Ellen's need to satisfy MP's stareing, e.g. by not concealing her leg's with boots, or by pulling her hair back from her face (with a scrunchie)

Last call(ish) for POLL #1! Please vote! Tell all your freind's! The next one will be going up soon, along with my synthesis and report on this one's results. 

UPDATE: Ellen later denounced this post as fraudulent. Later reiterations of her complaint here and here

Ellen July 23, 2012 at 11:21 am
What a cute dress. If I were THINNER, with more of a WASTE, I would buy this dress. But it’s just as well that I don’t, because then the Manageing Partner would just want to put his ARM around my WASTE, and I don’t want to attract him anymore than I already DO with my curve’s. It’s bad enough that he is always looking at my leg’s.
anon July 23, 2012 at 2:34 pm
lol this is the first time i’ve seen ellen talk about her “waste”
Ellen July 23, 2012 at 8:30 pm
She is NOT me. FOOEY!

Read more: http://corporette.com/2012/07/23/splurge-mondays-tps-report-belted-dress-baila-tango/#ixzz21eLmqMe6

Sunday, July 22, 2012

2 more file’s for me to work especialy for the cleint.

By my count, this means Ellen has now brought in five matters for the new cleint she successfully wooed over lunch this past week. By now, the prospect of Ellen as partner is not only raised--she seems to mention it with a hint of righteousness. She feels entitled to a portion of the billing's and acknowledges the only thing standing in her way...
I don't think this post went up in real time (most of Ellen's probably don't due to Kat's screening policy)--but if it did, do you realize that this means that upon reading it ELLENWatchers could have gasped, snapped their laptops closed, and run to the shoe department at Lord & Taylor to look out for the scrunchie???? She made a point of saying she was going in about an hour, and according to their websight, they only have one Manhattan location

Ellen July 21, 2012 at 2:44 pm
I love OPEN thread’s! The manageing partner is VERY happy b/c yesterday, we got 2 more file’s for me to work especialy for the cleint. YAY!!!
We are abel to bill by the HOUR, rather then the matter, so the manageing partner is VERY pleased with me for geting these extra case’s.
The ONLY thing that is NOT so good is that I am not abel to get a percentege of the billing’s, b/c I am NOT a partner.
I am just going to get my 3% raise for now, and the $100 gift card he gave me for Lord and Taylor’s! I am heading OVER there in about an hour to see what shoe’s are on SALE today, but I think I MAY have to wait until after LABOR Day to get a real sale. The manageing partner will NOT pay me the 20% on the money I pay if I use the GIFT card, so I will have to go to NINE WEST and buy shoe’s if I want to get my alowance from him! FOOEY b/c Lord and Taylor’s has the best shoe’s! FOOEY!

Read more: http://corporette.com/2012/07/20/weekend-open-thread-142/#ixzz21MtKkH4L

Saturday, July 21, 2012

3 guys offered to by me a pair b/c I did not have a pare.

Ellen has made great show, recently, of how busy she is due to new cleints and MP uppeing the workload. I suppose that was warning that we might be hearing less from her. Posts have been short, non-plot driven, and at least in this case seem to be done after normal business hours. Ellen also seems to be streamlining her operation, not having time during this busy period to give voice to Lourine, Frances or Jill. (Notice that nobody else is stepping in to pick up the slack...)
Here Ellen advises a reader who is looking for a bag. I like that Ellen directs her to match this weekend's featured item despite the OP giving no indication that she owns or wants anything like these boots. 

For more on Ellen's staggering popularity with men during college, see here.
PS--have you taken my poll yet? 

Ellen July 20, 2012 at 7:34 pm
You should get SOMETHING that matches the Fry boot’s. When I was in college all the peeple had Fry boots. 3 guys offered to by me a pair b/c I did not have a pare.
Now I have alot of shoes b/c I need to look good at work. I could NOT Wear Fry boots tho b/c the manageing partner want’s to see my leg’s.

Read more: http://corporette.com/2012/07/20/weekend-open-thread-142/#ixzz21GrUb95n

Thursday, July 19, 2012

I do NOT like coufed pants

Ellen July 19, 2012 at 1:30 pm
I do NOT like coufed pants, b/c they get DIRT in them and then you wind UP with LINT and other things. The manageing partner wears them and he looks DUMB, but I can’t tell him b/c he pay’s my saleary. FOOEY!

Read more: http://corporette.com/2012/07/19/the-case-against-cuffed-pants/#ixzz216bkhNmF

even the CAB’s are FILTHEY inside

Sure enough, looks like this first successful cleint lock has the P-word on Ellen's mind. By my records, this is the first time she has even mentioned the prospect of making partner at her current firm. At the same time, in-house work seems still to hold appeal.
If you haven't already taken my poll, please do! (at right). 

Ellen July 18, 2012 at 5:39 pm
This suit is VERY nice and VERY afordable, even if it is in WHITE. Nontheless, I would NOT buy it b/c I have to take the SUBWAY to work and it would get VERY dirty VERY fast in the subway. FOOEY!
If I get to become a PARTNER, then mabye I can stop takeing the SUBWAY, but even the CAB’s are FILTHEY inside. I do NOT enjoy getting a ride today in a CAB, but if I go in-house, then I can get CAR services!!! Yay!
Yesterday, I rode in the companies’ CAR service, and it was air condition and CLEAN! Of couse, I had to share with the 2 cleint’s, but we went to thier FAVORITE restarant, on the UPPER East Side. I thought it was OK, but they LOVED it, so I did NOT care! I am already busy on my first case and have 3 file’s from them. I am going to work very hard and the cleint said I get more case’s if I did a good job! The manageing partner is VERY happy that I locked the cleint, so he said he is geting me a GIFT CERTIFICATE from Lord and Taylor’s! YAY!!!!!!

Read more: http://corporette.com/2012/07/18/suit-of-the-week-tahari-arthur-s-levine/#ixzz214dj4GQQ

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

[Please take the POLL]

That's right--I've managed to post a poll to your right here, intended as first in a series. Please "vote" your beliefs about Ellen's consistency!
I've had way more visitors than recorded responses today, which makes me curious...if anyone has voted but not seen their response go through please let me know.

Thank's as always! Hopefully we get fresh meat tomorrow. (I'm vegetarian.)

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

I was abel to convince them to go with our firm

Bluejay, per Ellen's last post I think she chose not to have any keyante because she's afraid of regaining 3 pound's that she's lost. That was one of her concerns going into this meeting, and her reason for getting a COBB salad.
More importantly, here is a professional plot development that may actually lead to permanent changes in story. 3 new cases for this new cleint, with Ellen the oficial lead at Manageing & MANAGEING LLP? Unless the court throws all of them out tomorrow (which would be sort of Ellen style, now that I think about it...) we have to be hearing about this again.

CONGRAT'S, ELLEN! We're pulleing for you!

Ellen July 17, 2012 at 7:04 pm
I insist on QUALITY when I buy a shoe, and I am WILLING to pay alot more if I can guarentee that the shoe will NOT fall apart in 2 months.
I have had good expereience with Nine Wests’ shoes and the price is RIGHT generaly, b/c I do not want to spend to much if I do not have to.
I will NEVER get shoe’s at Bergdorf, not b/c of the quality, but it is way to expensive, even on SALE! I do NOT want to pay over $400 for shoes and then step in dog poop in my naighborhood. FOOEY!
Anyway, I went out with the new cleint’s today and they were VERY impresed. I was abel to convince them to go with our firm and I told the manageing partner so he was happy.
I am now the oficial lead attorney on the account, and we got 3 cases to defend! I ate a COBB salad so it was OK. The 2 guy’s both had wine (keyante), and they had veal piccata.
Bluejay July 17, 2012 at 7:56 pm
Oh, pshaw, Ellen. The guys didn’t share the keyante with you?

Read more: http://corporette.com/2012/07/17/coffee-break-knoyzz-pump/#ixzz20vtjFYpN

a big lunch (with drinkeing)

Again, Ellen does seem to hit upon certain phrases people like and reuse them regularly. Here MP's Pishaw is back, as is the buffeing of [bald] head. 
More importantly, we're seeing even further mixed signals regarding Ellen's professional promise. This isn't the first time she's reported that MP want's her to recruit new cleints, but now the parameters are becoming more concrete: she does the pitch lunch all on her own. It seems like quite a bit of trust there, in addition to the raise(s) coming. These developments may be entirely normal for a 5th-year associate at a small firm, but are somewhat surprising when we consider MP's usual demeanor toward Ellen and her very recent fears of losing her job or at least her office and top responsibilities. 
Ellen has never mentioned expecting to make partner at her current firm, but increasingly I'm wondering if MP has different ideas. 
At any rate, I look forward to hearing how this lunch goes...

Ellen July 16, 2012 at 4:08 pm
You should balence your check book against the BANK STATMENT, not QUICKEN. When I was dateing Alan, he did the same thing! He relied on QUICKEN rather then going to the bank statment.
Today the manageing partner gave me a new cleint. He want’s me to meet them for lunch tomorow, and take them out for a meal. I told the manageing partner I would be happy to meet them, but I do NOT want to have a big lunch (with drinkeing) b/c I am trying to keep off the 3 pounds I lost.
He said OH PISHAW, and is makeing me take them out MYSELF! I do NOT even know these guy’s and I have to go w/o the manageing partner?
The manageing partner says that I have got to grow up soon. I told him I am OVER 30 year’s old! He just laughed and started buffeing his head again with his hankercheef!
Bluejay July 16, 2012 at 4:16 pm
I need to reply to this to highlight the use of PISHAW, which is truly a term of art.
Kanye East July 16, 2012 at 5:07 pm
Oh snap!
Hey halfpint, is your Manageing Partner Pa Ingalls?!
Eleanor July 16, 2012 at 5:34 pm
Pshaw, Pa would never be a jerk like the Manageing Partner; his blue eyes twinkle when he fiddles.

Read more: http://corporette.com/2012/07/16/coffee-break-nano-lip-liner-in-native-nude/#ixzz20t0RSUQc