Sunday, March 31, 2013

let ALONE marry a shrimp-o

Ellen has elsewhere stated that she is 5'5" or even 5'7". Is osteoporosis kicking in already?  At any rate, grudging thank's to VINCENT KUTZA (see comments) for directing me to this post, which came up late and might otherwise have been missed. Evidently/hopefully, this was his parting gift to me and my websight, perhaps in recompense for many less welcome contributions.

PS: As of today, Ellen must be one year older! This birthday should be 32 or 33, from what we know.

I agree. I do NOT look good in flat’s b/c I am not that tall. I am onley 5 foot 4 so when I wear flat’s I can quickly look dumpy next to a taller guy or other women with 4 inch heel’s. Beside’s the manageing partner like’s me to show my leg’s off and when your onley 5 foot 4, you BETTER be weareing high heel’s or their will NOT be to much leg to show! He may be a littel dirty minded, but it work’s b/c the judge is often STAREING at my leg’s or my red lipstick and NOT listening to hard to what I am sayeing b/c he some times akesks me to repeat it for him.
So I say if your over 5 foot 6 or 7, you can wear flat’s without looking short and dumpy, but the rest of us have to be very CARFUL b/c we are not that tall to begin with. I know Gonzalo and other squat little guy’s dont care, but I do NOT want to go out with a pipsqueak who I am taller than, let ALONE marry a shrimp-o. No, I want a guy at least 5 foot 10 or MORE, b/c I want him to PROTECT and CARE FOR ME, both fineancially and physeically. I want a PRINCE, NOT a PIPSQUEAK! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, March 29, 2013

I think I want a guy like ED

Confirming that Ellen's birthday is either tomorrow or Sunday. I'd love to know which, but we'll see if she can post amid the hubbub of the new niece/nephew. The steakhouse outing is familiar as an Ellen birthday celebration; hopefully Myrna will make some to-do as well.

We're back to a very wide and colorful mural of potential futures, perhaps occasioned by Rosa's family growing and thoughts about roads not taken. Prospective jobs, alternate living situations, Ed as some kind of husband prototype.

UPDATE, see below: While Ellen is unavailable this weekend due to Rosa's probable delivery, associates have been trying to contact her. While the manageing partner has never posted since his debut last fall, Mr. Barshevsky was channeled for the first time today. Blogger responsible, would you like to share your thinking about this?  

In perhaps more sunshine-y news, Vinnie-turned-Vincent-turned-Vincent Kutza (Google does nothing with the name) has now registered his resignation not only on Corporette, but also in a lengthy comment on this post. It seems he's tired of aimlessly pursuing Ellen, and moreover no longer certain she's worth it. This makes immaculate sense to me, bro! Your comments here frequently surpassed my dirtiness threshold, and as I have said many times I infinitely prefer the input of your female colleagues, dried-up hags though they may be. Depart in peace, Mr. Kutza. But if the Sunshine Girls wish to come back now, on condition of this site being cleansed of your crudeness, they are welcome to do so. I hope you find an internet babe more worthy of your attentions, and whose cult-following personal blogger is willing to give you her contact info. 
I LOVE the Citibank CASH BACK Card! I get more money back from Citibank for the MORE I SPEND.
So My dad takes that money and he deposit’s it into my BANK acount, and HE pay’s my bills from that Basnk acount. So, if you go with the CASH BACK card, the more you SPEND, the more you get back and then can spend on MORE thing’s! Yay!
I am now off to Chapauqua, and will be brienging my stuff with me on the train for mabye up to a WEEK! Myrna is postponeing my birthday party dinner she was planneing at Ruth Chris (she know’s I love the FILET), so we will DO that another nite when I am back and can enjoy a full meal! It does NOT matter to much b/c I am NOT a little girl any more, but my mom and dad will be abel to spend my birthday with me up at Ed and ROSA’s house, which is VERY big.
I think I want a guy like ED, but I do NOT want to leeave the City, b/c I am a profesional, and do NOT think there is to much legal job’s up in Chapauqua. It’s along way to take the train from there to NYC, and NYC is where all the jobs are. Even the COURT’s are in NYC, so if I stay, I can be a JUDGE or go IN HOUSE. I can also have a BABY in NYC and have someone to watch him or her while I work. YAY! Not so much in the subburbb’s. FOOEY!
Also, if I decide to be a LAW PROFESSER, there is onley one law school up there (PACE), but alot of law school’s here. Right now, I think I would TEACH at NYU or FORDAM, b/c they are BOTH covenently located in Manhatan. Not so much for Columbia, which DAD says is still in a bad area. He does NOT want me takeing the train at night thru Harlem. FOOEY! He told me I should take cab’s but I am not sure there are alot of cab’s up around 116th Street in Harlem at night. DOUBEL FOOEY!
I will try and post when the baby come’s but I will also have my hand’s full baby sitteing, so I am not sure how quick I will be abel to reespond. So I am wisheing myself Happy Birthday in advance, and will eat a Cheeze Danish myself to celabrate! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • I’d like to meet your sister Rosa, if Ed ever tires of her, and takes the kids.
    I am not sure about you any more. You are getting long in the tooth and no one will tell me where you work so I can get a gander myself. I’d be willing to give you a test drive, but you’ve got to have game.
    • Anonymous :
      Who is he kidding? This lecherous dude will take anything that can’t move away fast enough.
  • ELLEN. What have I TOLD you about talking about your FIENANCIAL AFFEYRS to everyone? FOOEY!

I say ha ha but do NOT send any picture’s back

Yay! Fruegel Friday’s!!!! I love FRUEGEL FRIDAY’S!!!! Rosa still has NOT had her baby so I am goieng up on the train today to stay the weekend. If she does NOT have the baby they will INDUCE. I will have to baby sit for a few day’s so the manageing partner said I could work from their house b/c I have my OWN Macbook Air and can conect to the Internet from there.
I should NEVER have give Robert my number. I get a text EVERY day, with dumb picture’s. I say ha ha but do NOT send any picture’s back. Why is it that men all of a sudden are so INTERESTED when all I did was give my NUMBER in front of all the peeople at the SEDER? I do NOT like guy’s with fish breathe, or drinkeing breath, like Alan had. They burp alot and it is like you have to eat HIS meal all over again!!!! GROSS AND FOOEY!

I am NOT what you could call a YES GAL, b/c I am VERY fiestey!

"He better sow up" is a nice Freudian typo since this urgency is all about the planting of seeds. 

And Ellen has finally acknowledged that her birthday is hard upon us. 

I would like to get the answer ALSO. I have some in’s with Roberta and Jim, and mabye with the supermarkit guy’s (once I proove myself as adept–yay!), but I am NOT that sure I want to be a slave to the CEO of the company as GENERAL council. I am NOT what you could call a YES GAL, b/c I am VERY fiestey! I think on my own two feet and am quick thinkeing. From what I can see, alot of general council’s are yes men (or women) who just do what the CEO say’s. THAT is NOT me. FOOEY!
But if YOU want to be a YES gal, just send your resume into the CEO at a smaller company, or to the General Council, teling them how you can help their company. YOu can also send them a POWER POINT SLIDE DECK, but make sure you PROVE READ IT FIRST. The manageing partner got mad at ME b/c he did NOT prove read the document that was HIS document, not mine. FOOEY on that!
Mom wan’s me to drive up to Chapauqua tonite, but I said I would go on the train if Rosa had to go to have the baby tonite. Otherwise, I am goeing up tomorrow on the train. Yay! I am goeing to be an ant again! Yay!!!! I wonder if the baby will shaer MY birthday? I now want my OWN BABY! Where is my husband? He better sow up quick or I have to do the Invitro thing. I want the full package. Show up, my husband, my sweet, show up!!!! YAY!!!!!!!

Thursday, March 28, 2013

with the tea bieng your tuchus.

Tomorrow is Rosa's due date, so we're all on the edge of OUR seat's. Unclear whether Ellen is responding to Robert's texts at all. 

I agree. It is VERY dificult to wear a pencil skirt when your tuchus is not VERY flat. Otherwise it look’s like an up side down teabag, with the tea bieng your tuchus. Mom said NOT to wear pencil skirt’s until I am down to 115, and I am NOT there yet. FOOEY!
But this one is cute AND the lace is very sexy. I wonder if I could EVER wear this at the office b/c Frank would be stareing at my leg’s and thinkeing he should be abel to look at my thigh’s or worse! DOUBEL FOOEY on that b/c he is MARRIED and he can look at his wive’s thigh’s. FOOEY.
Rosa thought she had some prelim LABOR pain’s but it was just a false alarm. The doctor is staying on CALL just in case They do NOT know if it is goeing to be a BOY or if it is goeing to be a girl. I hope it is a girl! Yay! Robert texted me again to say hi. I think I will call him fish breathe! Thank’s Myrna!

Even the manageing partner is snackeing

I'm playing catch-up, as you can see. Pardon. 

Add vermin infestation to the list of things wrong with M&M LLP's current offices. Also, take my severely technologically hampered poll, to your right! I won't give up even if everyone has to vote 3 times...

I LOVE Ann Taylor!
Frank is being VERY nice to me, b/c I brought in a BOX of Egg Matza’s, and butter. He love’s them so he has come in to visit already 2x BEFORE lunch!
Nowthat it is AFTER lunch, he is ALREADY back and the Box is almost all gone! That is OK, b/c otherwise my tuchus will be fat if I eat them. FOOEY!
Even the manageing partner is snackeing on them. He made alot of crumbs in my office, and the cleaning peeople are not comeing in until TONITE. I hope there are NOT any bug’s around — or mice! DOUBEL FOOEY!

do NOT think it is fair for everyone to have the goverment pay for thier i-Phone’s

We've never known much about Ellen's political views, such as they are, and she's made great show of not having opinions and not voting in the past. But for what we do know, this is pretty consistent: vague fiscal conservatism inherited from the revered brain of Dad. What surprises me more is Alan's alleged socialism. Granted, it sounds like she's using this unsympathetic character as a way to make fun of liberal's. But if anything--especially given his own history of internet commenting--I thought he'd be the more conservative of the two.

2nd paragraph: the first actual update on Alan that we've heard for a long time. I wonder who this was "heard" from.

I think it can be dificult. It was with ME. The Barshevsky side of My family tends to be on the CONSERVATIVE side of the fence, b/c my family has worked and been here for MANY year’s, so when I started dateing Alan, we did NOT see eye to eye. He think’s everyone should be given the same amount of money, and he did NOT want to work hard b/c it should be taxed away anyway, so he perfered to lay around and drink rather than work and get taxed. I am diferent. I want to work hard and save and have a 401K to retire on, and I do NOT depend on the goverment for suport, or food stamp’s or anything. I do NOT mind payeing in so other’s can have thing’s they need, but do NOT think it is fair for everyone to have the goverment pay for thier i-Phone’s.
So it can get touchy. Fortueantely, I dumped Alan, and I do NOT have to worry about him any more. I did hear he met someone who is haveing sex with him, and I feel sorry for her b/c that is all he is good for, and mabye not so good b/c of all of the drinkeing. FOOEY!

keep thinkeing about his fishy breathe

When it becomes too implausible that ALL of Ellen's admirers would have male-pattern baldness, it turns out that at least one of them is hairless by choice. Foul breathe is preserved as a theme unmodified, however. 

One more time: Ellen's birthday is supposed to be in the month of March, so we're running out of days for it to take place...

I agree! I will go to Nordstrom’s with my MOM and mabye she will get one for me and one for Rosa! Rosa ready to go any day now. Mom says we should plan on goeing up to Mount Kisko and stayeing over starting tomorow, but I cannot b/c this is my first day back, and there is a MAJOR LOAD of paper’s that MUST be answered by ME this week. So mabye if she could wait until Friday MORNING, then we could go TOGETHER, and stop in NORDSTROM’s on the way there. I will ask her, and hope Rosa hold’s out. They do NOT want to let her go to far over, but will INDUCE delivery with an epeidural (gross). I want a baby but NOT an epeidural. FOOEY!
Last nite Myrna’s uncle invited a guy over Robert, and he was there sitteng next to me. He was worse than Myrna’s uncle b/c he kept looking at me, not the passover seder book, so every time it was TIME for him to read, he leaned over and asked me what page we were on. He had very FISHY breathe and had shaven his head. I was nice to him but wished he had eaten some breathe mints, not gefillte fish with HORSE radish. He asked me in front of EVERYBODY if he could call me and I could NOT say no in front of everyone so I had to give my NUMBER to him, and he already TEXTED me hi. I do NOT know what he does for work, but he live’s in upper manhattan somewhere. Myrna say’s I should give him a chance b/c her uncle said we could be a match. I said I would but keep thinkeing about his fishy breathe. I rembember when Alan would drink and his breathe also smelled very funny the next day. I do NOT want to wake up to that every day. FOOEY!

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

the same LOAD was still in the same stall

Depressing, really. I like thinking about this rehearsal mirror run, though...I want footage.

This can happen to any one. Yes it is funny, but WHAT kind of a seat break’s when you drop it? In the court building down town, they let anyone use the toilet’s includeing the petitioner’s families and peeople who come in off the street, as long as they go through the metal detector’s.
So once I was preparing by talkeing to myself in front of the mirror and this grunchy lady come’s out from the stall carrying toilet paper and smelling. She did NOT wash but just walked out. So I hapened to look in the stall and saw that she must HAVE been washeing her clothe’s in the TOILET, then left a load in there that was to big.
I called the bailif and told him that the smelley women had left a load in the toilet and he said he would get a matron. Well I was back the next WEEK and the same LOAD was still in the same stall. FOOEY!
I am getting dressed up to go with Myrna to her uncle. I am weareing a blouse and a sweater b/c I do NOT want him stareing at my body. It is BAD enough that he loves to stare at me, but I must dress very conserveativlely so that he will NOT get any idea’s! DOUBEL FOOEY!

think are REAEALLY interested in them and they HOME in for the KILL.

"We will see" on Rosa's upcoming due date whether Ellen's marriage and motherhood are imminent. Maybe someone new is about to come buzzeing in? 

Yes, I agree you have to be CLEAR if you are or are NOT interested in a guy, or if you are AVEAILABLE or NOT. My probelem is that if I even START to talk to a guy, he all of a SUDDEN think’s that I am interested in him. There are to many guy’s that think that most girl’s are stuck up and won’t talk. But I like to talk and THAT is my probelem. Because so FEW women talk to guy’s, peeople like me who DO talk they think are REAEALLY interested in them and they HOME in for the KILL.
I can count so many time’s that guy’s come buzzeing in just b/c I talked to them. Within 15 minute’s they wanted to go back to my room or thier room for SEX! I was so SHOCKED when that hapened that I figured out NOT to be to nice to men (which mean’s just talkeing?)–it took a while to figure this all out.
Now I just get freindly with older guy’s who can help me, like the JUDGE, the manageing partner and mabye Jim (tho he’s dumb) with his baseball hat. My NEW phielosophy is to be very carful with men b/c most of them JUST want sex, and I want to get MARRIED and HAVE A BABY! (Rosa is due Friday, so we will see!) YAY!!!!!!

which means it will surely land on my tuchus by tomorrow

And she is indeed takeing at least 2 days off this week for Passover. 

The imagery of matza ball soup making some 12-24 hour direct, traceable journey from stomach to azz should feel more laughable than it does.

Make sure you take my new poll, BTW! As I mentioned at the time, vote counts sometimes go down and I still have no idea how that is happening...
Whoa! I just got back from Grandma Leyea’s! Not such a great nayborhood at note. Thank god dad had the Surburbun to take mom and me home. Ed took Rosa and the kids back upstate but wow! I have to tell Roberta that this part of the Bronx is not Riverdell! FOOEY!
Dad loved the matza ball soup but I felt it sticking to my stomach which means it will surely land on my tuchus by tomorrow. FOOEY! But at least I am NOT goeing into work!!!! Yay!!!!

Monday, March 25, 2013


Our journey began one year ago today, ELLENWatchers. YAY!!!! Looking back at the inaugural post for the first time, I expected to feel a lot of mission creep had set in over time, but in fact I feel more like, "yep, that's [still] about the size of it."

I want to thank all my reader's once again for playing along! Your enthusiasm + futility may not quite match my own, but I do appreciate the company. 

Finally, in honor of the occasion I am running a new poll (see upper right corner). We have seen that, albeit indirectly and with long delays, Ellen does take requests with her posting. Now that I'm firmly established as the global authority and clearinghouse on this topic, I feel ready to experiment with the request function on a grand scale, and see if en masse we can actually influence the trajectory of Ellen's story. 

I'm asking you what you think should happen to Ellen by the time this blog reaches its 2nd birthday. All of the outcome options are prospects raised by Ellen more than once, so to nudge her narrative toward a bit more direction let's see how the numbers shake out in terms of preferences, and then in turn (gulp) whether she will oblige us. I will let you know, and of course will also let Ellen know, what the HIVE think's should be made of her life (at least in the near term). 


UPDATE: The vote count is going down as well as up! WHAT is going on????? Are people actually taking back votes, or are they being lost? This is very troubling since views and votes are so disparate in number. FOOEY!

Based on my experti’s

"Baltimore law"? I thought Ellen was doing the absolute minimum on the MD case, especially since the local affiliate there hasn't made her particularly welcome. 

I think you are Not allowed to discriminate against some one b/c of their disabilitie’s but you CAN generally fire a person WITHOUT CAUSE IF YOU ARE LIVING IN a work for hire state. I am onley an expert in NY LAW, and mabye soon in BALTIMORE LAW.
Based on my experti’s, HERE, the woman sounds like a performence mess, so that is a reason to get rid of her if you needed a REASON. You should make sure of the law in YOUR state. One you tell the hive where your firm is, the hive can add to my coment’s. Yay for Corpette’s!!!!!!!

Saturday, March 23, 2013

If your MARRIED you don’t have to worry about a flabby tuchus

Suddenly the scope of storytelling has extended backward, chronologically, though it's nice to know precisely how much Ellen billed last year. "The next thing you know" stuff is largely 2012--when Jim and Roberta were new cleint's--and while weight gain was definitely the trend over the past 6-11 months, more recently it's apparently being falling off by the stone every time Ellen even thinks about her Fitbit. 

She does in fact plan to take some time off this week, for Passover. Hopefully those plans go forward uninterrupted by the doofus in Baltimore or others. 
You have to have a THICK skin. Men can be so dumb some time’s! We just have to IGNORE the stupididity and silly thing’s they say b/c they often do NOT think about what they say before they say it.
I have been so busy! I billed 2600 hour’s last year and that does NOT count alot of hours the Manageing partner would NOT let me bill. All my research for his CLE and my antitrust work was worth 100 hours! FOOEY! And no real time off, b/c I was goeing to take time but then we got new cleint’s like Jim from roberta and the next thing you know my tuchus gets flat and flabbey! FOOEY b/c only the South American guys were interested, but maineley in taking me to bed. FOOEY!
If you have time off you can exersize and flatten your tuchus. If your MARRIED you don’t have to worry about a flabby tuchus but I cannot find a husband until I get back in size 2. FOOEY! Myrna did say my tuchus looks flatter then it was. Yay!

even worse then Alan or Frank

The three-character drama in Paragraph 3 is fairly well executed here, especially the final dialogue of conducter's pithy pronouncement and Ellen's closing as narrator. Speaking of threes, I wonder if TRIPEL FOOEY refers to the smelly trifecta: Alan, Frank, and the gassy train passenger.

Hopefully Ellen will post a link to her forthcoming publication at some point. I was not contacted for proofing.
I agree! Doubel FOOEY!!!!! It is so cold that I froze walkeing to work today, but I DID GET my 2.5 or so mile’s and on the way home, it’s 40 KARAT’s for me! Yogurt with Pinappels! YAY!!!!!!
The manageing partner has me doeing all the reserch for the doofus in Baltimore even tho I am NOT a MARYLAND admittee. FOOEY! There are no cases that I can find on WESTLAW that are ON POINT. Evedenteley, peeople in Baltimore don’t get WC case’s alot, they just settel them right off and there are NO opinion’s by the JUDGES in MARYLAND CASES.
I am goeing to be published soon, and I will have the JUDGE sign a photocopy of his opinion. He is so nice to me b/c I am ALWAY’S PREPARED. When I was on the train, some smelley guy sat right in front of me and he passed alot of gas right into his seat, and the woman next to me thought THAT IT WAS ME WHO did it. I said NOT ME, it was the smelley guy with the greazy hair. She was NOT sure but I convinced her that It was him b/c when I went to get a drink of water, he did it again. THEN SHE KNEW and told the conducter. He said LADY, what do you want me to do? SHE did not annser him.
That is the LAST time I do NOT get an ACCELA, and stay over. The cleint is so cheep he said have a 2:00 PM meeting knoweing that I could NOT stay over and would have to leave the same day. FOOEY! I want to stay at the Mariot or the Ritz next time. I have to talk to the manageing partner b/f I go back there. The smelley guy was the WORST I’ve smelled in along time — even worse then Alan or Frank. TERRIBLE STINK! TRIPEL FOOEY!!!!!!

Friday, March 22, 2013

Why can”t my next boyfreind be unlike any other boyfreind?

For the first time, we hear of Rosa's "kid's," plural. This is as close as we've ever come to firming up that both of Ellen's nieces are indeed offspring of Rosa. At 25, being on at least #3 is pretty prolific!

I love the miscellany of Ellen's four questions--3 redundant/overlapping and entirely predictabel, the fourth suddenly bringing up one of the many potential career paths Ellen has mentioned wanting to pursue. 

Yay! It’s fruegel friday’s and I love fruegel friday’s. Also, I love this color, and the Manageing Partner say’s my eye’s are JUST this color! The price is right too! Great pick KAT!
I am goeing to have my mom see if she can get a matching set for me and Rosa (tho she won’t be abel to wear this until after she has a BABY (which is due next week). Rosa is so big she look’s like she ate 100 matza balls with soup! I better tell Grandma Leyeh not to over stuff her!
She used to do the 4 question’s but now her kid’s ask them! It’s so CUTE! I want a BABY! Where is my husband to be? That is MY First Question. Why can”t my next boyfreind be unlike any other boyfreind? That is my second question. When will I get married to him? That is my third question and my final question is: When will I become a judge?
Happy Friday to the HIVE! No fooey’s from me this morning! Yay!

But I at least conected to Corporete.

So she went back on the road to deal with this MD cleint so reluctantly won for the firm. For review, again, the "attorney in Baltimore" is some local-advice affiliate through MP, and his workeing relationship with Ellen got off to a fairly rocky start

The count on Os is up to four, meanwhile (fourth line from bottom). I wink back at you, whomever you are!

Your so LUCKY! The Manageing partner made me go to Baltimore this morning and I just got BACK on a train but it is NOT the Accela. FOOEY b/c the CLEINT does not pay for first class. I am lucky to have wifi but it is VERY SLOW not like my Fios. But I at least conected to Corporete. Yay!!!!!
I think I am goeing to have to take off for 2 days next week b/c I was invited to go to 2 seder’s! They are long but yummy food!!!! I love matza ball soup and grandma Leyeh insists on makeing them b/c she has some secret she will NOT share w/mom so dad insists we go there! That’s good b/c it’s good soup!
Then Myrna is bringing me to her uncles house. He is NOT MARRIED and oooogles us but he makes turkey that is good and not to many calorie’s!!!! Yay!
I do not like the attorney in Baltimore but its not easy to type on an iPhone. FOOEY!!!!!

Thursday, March 21, 2013

even if the Manageing partner goes hot and cold on MY SCHRUNCHIES

I don't know what to think. Yesterday's posts came up very late and were threadbare to say the least. Usually Ellen errs on the side of warning that she won't be posting much but then keeping up right on schedule, rather than what we've seen today and yesterday: no mention of time constraints or tech problems, but also next to no material. 

I'm planning to initiate a new poll soon regarding the direction of Ellen's narrative, so perhaps it comes nary a moment too soon? Please stay tuned, monotonous as it may be right now...

I have NEVER worn braid’s but I alway’s wanted to look like Boe Derrick in the old movie, 10, b/c my dad alway’s says she had NOTHING on me, but I have to watch out for my tuchus.

And later:

Get color coordinated SCHRUNCHIES! I love them even if the Manageing partner goes hot and cold on MY SCHRUNCHIES ! PTOOEY on that! Yay!!!!!

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

who wants to MARRY me and have kid’s right away

Declining creativity. Unless this is major buildup for some pre-planned twist in the plot. 

(It better be.)

I know! How horible to wear this and then have a bunch of skuzzy guy’s ooogeling at my boobies. When I go to the manageing partner’s house, I have to be carful, b/c he has a pool and so many men were stareing at me when I went near the pool, and I did NOT even show them anything! FOOEY on men like that. I would NOT care if they were serious about a releationship, but all want sex only but NOT marriage, and I do NOT want to get into that trap like I did with Alan, b/c he NEVER followed thru after I did my part alot. DOUBEL FOOEY!
I hope to be in good shape this summer, and get a guy who wants to MARRY me and have kid’s right away! YAY!!!!

Monday, March 18, 2013

I can alway’s make an inteligent decision or come to an inteligent conculsion

I do wonder what may crawl out of the city gutters as the weather starts to heat up. NERDY GUY, I have not given up on you! Please materialize once again, and be unmarried!

I do NOT have in law’s YET, but I ALWAY’S welcome another OPINION, even if I do NOT ultimatley agree with it or ADAPT it. I have found that it is better to hear all side’s of an issue so that I can alway’s make an inteligent decision or come to an inteligent conculsion.
You must learn to be more patient with your in law’s. I will DO that if I get MARRIED, but FIRST get a boyfreind and then get him to MARRY me. My dad is very pleased with my tuchus, and say’s I should BEGIN to find men once I put away my DOWN overcoat for the SEASON. YAY!!!!!!

abel to monitor my tuchus without even bieng in the same COUNTY

Especially with the fitbit being mentioned in the post, I expected a COMENT along these lines. Paragraph 2: it's interesting to know what Ellen reject's on aesthetic grounds. I don't generally find her very discriminate on such things, but in this case it's probably the right call. While we're at it: let the record show she's evidently a silver girl, rather than gold. 

Has Myrna's birthday (and gift receipt) taken place yet? More importantly, what about Ellen's own?

YAY!!!! I have one to! My dad gave it to me. My onley probelem is that it is SO light that I WORRY that I might loose it. I wish they made the FITBIT with something I could MORE Securely put on that would NOT slide off. FOOEY, b/c it cost’s over $100, and my dad tells me all the time to be CAREFUL b/c the deductibel on my home owner’s is over $100. DOUBEL FOOEY if I loose it.
As a result I keep it in my pocket or my PURSE, but I do NOT think this is the best. The new fitbit is put on your WRIST, but that is NOT to styelish as I would prefer silver on my wrist’s.
Dad keep’s croweing to his friend’s that he is abel to monitor my tuchus without even bieng in the same COUNTY. He is right. But I should be abel soon to wear even size 2′s as my size 4′s are all fiting looser! YAY!!!!

You are NOT that bad.

I hope the OP is comforted by hug's from Ellen (this is the first time she's given 'em out, yes?) and of course the assurance I borrowed for this post's title. Maybe I'll put it on a post-it for my mirror. A spelling error would be a nice touch, though. 

This snapshot of Dad's mentorship during the college years is an interesting blend of endearing consolation, manipulative validation (soon to be followed by near-abuse, both relating to Ellen's supposed attractiveness), and pathological denial that women have to worry about any professional qualifications beyond fetchingness. 

Is a whole soda bread alot?

Hug’s to you. You are NOT that bad. When I was in college, I appleid to be an R.A., but they did NOT choose me. They said that I needed to be alot MORE authoretateive then I was so that if some one was doeing something bad, that they WOULD pay attenteion to ME and what I TOLD THEM TO DO. I said that I could do it but they DISAGREED. FOOEY on them!
My dad said not to worry b/c they realy did NOT choose me b/c I was to cute and all the guy’s would be hitting on me. I told the school and they said he could have been right. They did NOT even know he was MENSA eligeible.
I have to walk at lunch today b/c I ate a whole SODA bread with BUTTER this weekend that I go at ELI’s. YUMMMMM! but my tuchus is goeing to pay the price dad says, unless I work it off today. The manageing partner said that my tuchus look’s just fine and he want’s me to go with him to the Lamb’s club. I vote for the Lamb’s club and the COBB salad but I will walk there. YAY!

Saturday, March 16, 2013

I am just goeing to be workeing out at NYSC this weekend and eateing SODA BREAD

The term "ooogle" is back, and with three Os rather than two. I never stopped using it, but Ellen did take a brief break.

Myrna's forthcoming gift is the bear stud earrings recommended on Corporette this week, and speaking of the stock market we now have an occupation and specific, real employer for Ed! He is now the only character other than NERDY GUY to have some professional background with an identifiable, extant organization. If Dad take's the job at Duke that will be #3. 

Myrna is presumably shopping for a gift for Ellen because the latter's birthday is this month (I don't have the day as of yet). 

I LOVE OPEN THREAD”s and This is a GREAT Thread! Yay!!!! Kat highlighted this in the mid day post with alot of professional ladie’s like us b/c we have to make CHOICES in what it is that we do and what kind of effort WE want to put in as WELL AS what kind of RETURN we get for doeing it.
The Erin Callan post is very important, b/c Erin is now sad that she OVER worked, even tho she became CFO of LEHMAN when she was in her EARLY 40′s. But it wore her down and now she is tryieng to have a BABY through INVITRO fertilizeation but so far not a thing. FOOEY for that! Keep tryeing, Erin. You can do it hopefully.
I am thinking that mabye I will do the INVITRO thing if I can NOT find a boyfreind in a coupel of year’s b/c so many men just want to ooogle me w/o my clothe’s on but do NOT want to marry me and have children. FOOEY on them. I do NOT care for men that just want to ooogle me. How can I be a judge when I am 40 if I can NOT have a child by the time I am 35? I need to do that so that the baby will be in school b/f I go back to the BENCH. FOOEY!
I ordered the ear ring’s for Myrna and told her I am getting those for her birthday. She is getting me something special, she said. I am so glad I met Myrna, b/c I never would have met her if I did NOT move to the City. YAY!!!!
The manageing partner says the 2 supermarket guy’s are close to sending over 33 case’s to us. They really liked me and my power POINT, that the manageing partner had me do for them and the guy in Baltimore. I have to go back there mabye Friday of next week, but I do NOT want to spend the weekend there b/c my MOM is haveing a VERY late baby shower for Rosa. If she holds out that is. I thought she was suposed to be DUE already, but I am NOT sure. She looks so big! But Ed says she is still the MOST beautiful woman in the WORLD. Ed is lucky to have married her b/c dad was NOT to impressed with him. He wanted an INVESTEMENT BANKER for ROSA, but Ed is a stock broker. To me their the same. Merrill Lynch is Merrill Lynch, but NOT to dad. He say’s he know’s the difference.
Happy FRIDAY to the HIVE and to Kat! Have a great ST PATRICKS DAY weekend b/c I am just goeing to be workeing out at NYSC this weekend and eateing SODA BREAD! YAY!!!!!!!

Friday, March 15, 2013

Isn’t this important to us corporaetes?

The standard, with a news-hook twist. What I do learn here is that Dad has a PhD. This makes the apparent job offer at Duke a little more logical, but we still need more info. 

Me to. Yay! Fruegel Friday’s!!! I love Fruegel Friday’s!!!! Also I love these tee shirt’s but for me, NOT in the office b/c Frank and the Manageing partner take turn’s stareing at me b/c the tee shirt’s should not be loose fitting.
I saw Erin Callan on the Today show this morning after my dad sent me an articel from the NY Times. My DAD read’s the NY Times EVERY day, as well as the WALL STREET JOUERNAL, and the LONDON TIMES. But he has a PhD and is very smart. I do not have the time to do this.
Why isnt the HIVE talking about this IMPORTANT article? She used to be the CFO at Lehman and she is now 47 and has been tryeing to have a BABY for year’s and can not. FOOEY!
She says she worked to hard and did NOT enjoy her life the way she should, and she has NO baby. That is sad and that is why I want to get MARRIED NOW and have a BABY when I am still YOUNG! BUT I first must find a boyfreind to marry me.
I say the HIVE should do a THREAD on this. Kat? Isn’t this important to us corporaetes? I say YES! Please consider a THREAD on this Kat?

Thursday, March 14, 2013

mabye I can loan him my FITBIT and make him walk instead of me!

What a roundup of recommendations from Ellen! Again, I am impressed that the numbering proceeds correctly all the way through. This must be her strong suit in formatting (or, alternatively, she used the Wizard in Word and pasted in?)

New insights into Alan's physique: at this point we have a small and wormy body with a fat head and neck, with red face, on top. Finally, I like the idea of MP walking around with the Fitbit and all of the data still uploading to the site that Mr. Barshevky monitors. I didn't know Ellen would be abel to game even the simplest of systems, but if I read the last lines here correctly it was her idea before it was mine. 

Yummy! I LOVE steak! I recomend any of the following, but do NOT get WINE or it will get quick FAST.
1) Spark’s
2) Smith and Wilinsky
3) The Post House
4) Del Frisco’s
5) Morton’s
6) Ruth’s Chris
7) The PALM and
8) Wolfgang’s
There is also some place in Queens or Brooklin where you have to pay cash and the waiters are old and surly. David wanted me to go there but I said NO if it is not Manahattan, it is NOT the City. So he can stay there. FOOEY on David and Brooklin or wherever.
The manageing partner took me to a few of these places right after I joined, and I imediately took to eating steak b/c he is a BIG meat eater. Alan also liked meat, but he was small and wormy. But it is NOT good to eat because of Cholesterol. FOOEY! He also goes to the LAMBS club, but just to drink and get cleint’s. Margie thinks he is getting to fat, and mabye I can loan him my FITBIT and make him walk instead of me! YAY!

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

YAY for the Yankee’s and Yay for the Cardinal!

Ellen :
Me either! It is VERY exciting. I was wondering how long the Cardinal’s have to sit there b/f they can go back to their room’s.
I REALLY like OUR Cardinal Dolan. HE could also be a GREAT Pope b/c he is so personabel, but he is also so great for New York City, so part of me want’s him to stay here.
Ed says he realy want’s to be a shortstop for the NY Yankee’s, but Dereck Jeeter has that job already and I LOVE JEETER too! YAY for the Yankee’s and Yay for the Cardinal!
When I had to go and watch the SAINT LOUIS CARDINALS last year, who knew that we would be haveing our OWN cardinal in the RUNNEING for the POPE! YAY!

sound’s like alot of troubel in the makeing!

Fascinating backstory here on the giddy romance that gave way to MP's now-classic marriage arrangement: Margie has apparently been an expensive proposition from the very beginning, when she was in fact someone else's wife! I was already curious about whether MP had any previous marriages (i.e. which kids are biologically whose) but the idea that Margie may have started out as an affair is even more intriguing. 

I'd love to see him indirectly advise someone about how to hedge their position in a marriage to someone exceptionally shady, but reader's at this point probably know better than to seek wisdom through Ellen.

Nice pump’s, but I have fat calve’s and my ankles look a little funny being exposed with these type of pump’s. But they are cute for a thinner person.
As to the OP, I think everyone is different, but this guy sound’s like alot of troubel in the makeing! Guy’s like that are VERY smooth talker’s and can CAJOLE a person into doeing alot of things you can regret. If your sister is BOLLED over by this guy do NOT be surprised, b/c he is a fast smoothe talker. FOOEY on men like that b/c they PRIDE themselfes literally in bieng abel to talk a girl out of her pantie’s. DOUBEL FOOEY on Alan and men like him, b/c often they just burpe and walk away.
If I were to be safe, I would get him to sign a CONTRACT stateing that if he was to marry your sister and she was NOT happy, that he would agree to walk away with NO property settelment and without askeing her for any spouseal suport b/c guy’s like that usueally have a price for them to walk. The manageing partner had to arrange such a payment b/f he could marry Margie, b/c she got married right out of college to a guy like him, and he knew she wanted out after she met the manageing partner. I think the manageing partner may have some idea’s so I will ask him if your interested.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

men also will take you MORE serious

And we're back to saying that Ellen has hired a cleaning lady. Originally she had (subject to fridge raids), then more recently she never had, due to the cost. 

Your guy must have been SHOCKED! But kudo’s for having the gut’s to be doeing it! Mabye now your life will be alot better — I know mine was after I threw Alan’s dirty toothbrush out when he forgot it YAY!!!! Also, I threw out his dirty sock’s, b/c he alway’s left me (or the cleaneing lady) to do the laundry he had in the hamper. FOOEY on that and his little feet (that had a big smell) DOUBEL FOOEY!
My father told me when I started working that I would look good with a big LIT BAG, and he was right. Now it does NOT cost $9000 (ouch), but it make’s me look very profesional when I take it to court. It is VERY big, so I can carry my lunch (and my purse) in it and NO ONE even know’s (other then me) what I am eateing that day. I also carry more of my GYM Clotheing in it so that I can go RIGHT to NYSC instead of haveing to go home, change, and THEN go work out. But since I am doeing so much walking on my FIT BIT, I am not at the NYSC every day any more. That is OK, but today, it is raining so I will ask my DAD if I can take the subway right to 86th and then NOT have to walk. Or mabye I just take the subway and get my steps on the ellyptical machine! YAY!!!!
So I say to the ladies “GO FOR IT if you have the money, b/c you will look smart carrying something smart, like me. The men also will take you MORE serious if you look profesional like I do with my LIT BAG.

How many time’s do I need to hear this?

Sometimes even I think the same, Ellen.

So Dad has some previous connection to Duke as well. Maybe he did one degree there, alongside the one at MIT? Or he's a career instructor and this was one of his earlier stops?

Do NOT worry. It should not be to hard to amend your taxe’s (I asked my dad b/f writeing). But he said you might get audited. That is also why I do NOT do my own taxe’s and rely on my DAD to do all of this stuff for me. Yay for dad! After all, I am a WC attorney, duly admitted and in GOOD standeing in NY, but not an accountent, or a tax person. I leave that to the man in my life, and my dad doe’s this for me. But DAD want’s me to find and MARRY another man to handel this (and other finanecial thing’s) for me after 33 year’s so he can go with MOM back to DUKE and be a Blue Devil again. How many time’s do I need to hear this? FOOEY! I want him to stay, b/c mom’s apple pies can NOT be mailed to me, b/c the box would get be all GOOEY! DOUBEL FOOEY!