Wednesday, May 14, 2014

they apreaciate fine meat’s

Where have I been? Lying in weight for Ellen to reveal herself. My trap isn't working for sh!t, but that's my business. Thanks for those of you eternal springers, especially if you've been posting updates in the comments. It's not that I haven't been reading Ellen, it's just a bit of a girlcott.

I interrupt my protest to bring you the below news because the INVESTEMENT BANKER may be heard from again. Also a bit concerned that food from 2011 is still to be found in Ellen's residence...

Yay! I met a guy today walkeing on Lex and he is an INVESTEMENT BANKER! He said I was so cute that he did NOT want to sleep with me! He said he want’s to get to know me as a person, what my like’s and dislike’s are, and who my family is! — can this guy be real? Any way, I told him I would meet him for dinner and we will meet tomorrow nite. I have a busness meeting tonite with the manageing partner and the supermarkit guy’s — we are goeing to Ruth Chris Steak House b/c they apreaciate fine meat’s — meat’s that they do NOT sell in their supermarkits! Can you beleive the hyppocracy? FOOEY! If you eat good meat, you should stock good meat the manageing partner say’s and I agree with him!
As for the OP, you should get Almond’s at Trader Joe’s. I get all of my nuts there, and you can buy big bag’s of almond’s for about $6 / pound. You probabley want to buy RAW nuts if you are squeezeing them into Milk. I have never tried makeing Almond milk, but figure that you have to squeeze alot of nut’s to get milk out them. Alan loved to eat almond’s so I had to buy them for him even tho I had to travel to get fresh nut’s on the West side. I did NOT want to go downtown to get him nuts. He was SO lazy — he should have got his OWN nuts. FOOEY on him. I finaly threw out the last of his nut’s last month when dad asked why I ate so many almond’s. Dad said he did NOT think Alan had nuts. FOOEY on Alan!

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

if we all carry ourselves with the dignity of Ellen Barshevsky.

You didn't think I would skip this one, did you? Ellen herself may not have wayed in on this past weekend's discussion about discussion, but a number of loyal fans brought her in in spirit. Entirely fitting, say I. Firstly, while many things may have changed on Corporette over the years, Ellen assuredly has not. Secondly, I agree that she is unmatched if you're looking for a bright, cheery tone and consistent life goals (for looseing weight and getting pregnant, if not in her career). 

I was a bit surprised to see such support from cbackson, who is an unerringly real person. All the more welcome, though!

Kelley B :
I think the site is fine. And I also really like that people are humble. And the best is Ellen Barshevsky, who always says things with a smile, even though she has issues with her boss, men and living in NY City.
We all need to take a step back and not get so stuck on ourselves. It probably would be a good thing if we all carry ourselves with the dignity of Ellen Barshevsky. Where is she when we need her views on this thread?
  • I love Ellen. She is very down to earth and not afraid to share her feelings. I hope she finds a husband soon. She probably will be a great mom. I’d set her up with my brother but he’s too much of a player for her.
cbackson :
It’s funny, but in a weird way I truly do feel like Ellen is the soul of this site. For all of her…Ellen-ness, in the end, she’s just a young woman trying to find career success and a guy who loves her for her (even with her ample tuchus!). Ellen doesn’t take disrespect from men, she cares about her community, and she has real, meaningful friendships with her female friends. IDK, I kind of feel like I know her…even though she isn’t real.
Here’s to you, Ellen Barshevsky.
  • I second the motion. Ellen is clearly a gem, and she is our gem. As far as I can tell, she is not posting on the ABA bulletin board any more — instead, she has grown up from a brash law student into a young lady who is achieving fame and fortune in her own small world of workers compensation, and keeping us up to speed with her personal life here, rather than with the ABA. I agree she should find a man, have children and return to the life of her childhood, being like her own mom baking cookies and cakes, and slipping them to her own issue much like her mom does for her. Go Ellen!
  • Pandoraphile :
    I third the motion! Ellen is a great distraction from work because many of us have the same kind of jerks in our office. Personally, I also have a manager who is quirky, and a co-worker with digestive issues that results in a host of excess gas within the office (though no bathroom/toilet in the center of the office that he sits in all day). And needless to say, we all have had issues with our admin assistants (a/k/a secretaries) who can be very helpful at times and very useless at others.
    So I look forward to Ellen’s daily posts, even if Corporette does not have a spell-check function for her! Keep up the great work, Ellen!!!!!!!!!

Monday, April 28, 2014

will NOT be abel to speak as effetivly IN court

Sowing the seeds of discord between Lynn and Mason? This can't be good for the office--but then, neither can their current relationship with all its dirty clothes, takeout, water cooler groping etc.

I agree that the rationale for scarf reimbursement is FINTASTIC. MP's not the most discerning one anyway.

I love this scarf, and MUST show ROSA b/c she can get it at NORDSTROM’s in White Plain’s!!!! Mabye she can buy two and we can be twins! YAY!!!!! I am not sure if the manageing partner will reimburse me for a scarf–technicaly it is NOT clotheing and I do NOT wear it to court, but I think I will argue that I need to wear this TO court and that if I get sick, I will NOT be abel to speak as effetivly IN court and the JUDGE will not be abel to hear my voice — therefoere I should be abel to get REIMBURSED for the scarf!
If anyone in the hive can help me with another better arguement, I am all ear’s!!!!! YAY!!!
In the mean time, Mason has been giveing me dirty look’s today. I think some of the thing’s I told Lynn must have stuck in her mind and mabye she is not beeing treated like such a dishrag by him, or some thing else is going down that I do NOT know about. Mabye I am to sensitive, but I think she may be standeing up to some of his demand’s and askeing for more in return. What else could it be? Well we women HAVE to stick up for ourselves, or guy’s will just burp and walk away. FOOEY on that! Especially since she is sleepeing with him every nite, he is probabley getting alot more then he deserves. FOOEY!
  • Your logical arguments are impeccable as always. I’m sure the managing partner will decide to reimburse you for the scarf!

b/c once she get’s to porky (and over 30)

I promi'sed to post about the sit-down with Lynn, and here we go. 

I actually don't follow Ellen's reasoning at all (a first, I know!) If ultimately she plans to detach from Lynn's marriage and weight dilemmas, and accepts with serenity about the worst possible findings from this conversation, then why did she bother initiating it at all? "Oh ok--you're just having a lot of sex now and hoping he prefers your moves and cooking over other women's over the long term, even as you're gaining weight by the day? I should probably focus on myself right now anyway." Who is porky and over 30? 

Yes, I already pointed out that Ellen might as well have staged this dialogue with herself. I was about to nominate a thin, securely married woman from this narrative as a better person to issue Lynn's warning, but come to think of it we do not have such a person. Lorrie/Laurie, in DC, is divorced, and we all know what Ed's "working late" means for the pregnant Rosa. 

Yay! I love Ann Taylor and this dress! Even tho it is a V neck, the V is not to deep, so Frank will realy have to look deep if he is mineing for boobie gold. I will ask the manageing partner if I can buy it, b/c I love the littel black dress look, and I should be abel to wear it into court, at least in the Summer. YAY!!!!
I had a good talk with Lynn. She can realy eat! But anyway, I warned her about getting to close to Mason emotionaly b/c he is not yet mature enough to handel a real relationship. She said she understood, but she is also getting alot out of it. He is at least clean, she say’s, and he has not been with alot of women so she is abel to teach him thing’s, which he is very apreaciateive of. She does not think he want’s to marry her, yet, but she is hopeing that he will turn out positive, meaning that he will get addicted to what she does for him rather than goeing out and testing whether other women will do better for him, emotionaly as well as in the bedroom and the kitchen. She told me a few gross things about him which I will NOT share based on privacy reason’s but all in all, she could do alot worse, considering she does NOT have a college degree and is looseing her figure to quickley. FOOEY!
I did warn her that she should get married while she is still cute, b/c once she get’s to porky (and over 30), w/o a degree that make’s her marketable in the busness world, guy’s will not want to marry her, or even have sex with her. She was very nice and thanked me for the pasta. She took some back with her and I saw Mason eateing it at around 5 yesterday. They are both back in and again she is weareing the same dress as yesterday, so she did NOT go home as I thought she would, but spent the night again with him. I hope this does not backfire on her. But we all have to live our lives, and now I have to find my OWN guy who will do thing’s for ME! YAY!!!!

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

he has not even brought up my tuchus for a few day’s.

Yes, I skipped (at least) one. Lower the bar on your least favorite blog, loveys! 

I can't wait to hear about this girl talk with Lynn--assuming the agenda items are: being used for sex, getting fat prematurely (prior to marriage), and obtaining a meal ticket man. Ellen actually isn't in a position to give advice on even a single one of these areas, and I doubt that fact is lost on Lynn either! 

I love this blazer, but the manageing partner think’s it look’s like a schmata! He is so WRONG on this, but I think he says that b/c he does NOT want me to wear this b/c he does NOT think the judge will like it. I am goeing with Lynn to the CELLAR tomorrow and will speak to her about spending to much time with Mason. I realy think he is useing her for sex, b/c he does NOT seem to deal with her much during the day. She is much more into him then he is to her (exept at nite of course, but that is another story). The manageing partner is happy with my new cases, and I made 13 motion’s for extensions b/c the other firm gave me a batch of cases with deadline’s due to expire! FOOEY on them! They must be trying to make me FAIL so they keep the cases. I know a guy from that firm and was NEVER impressed with him. He took the bar w/me in Albeany and I think he was stareing at me there. FOOEY on him also. Dad has been nice since I was out there–he has not even brought up my tuchus for a few day’s. I think he knows I know that I have to get my tuchus size down if I am to wear a batheing suit this summer in the Hamton’s. I do NOT want a big tuchus any more then my future husband doe’s. I have to walk today to make sure I have room for the pasta tomorrow at the Cellar with Lynn. YAY!!!!

Monday, April 21, 2014

OFTEN does NOT come in with fresh clotheing

Don't you all just have the patience of saint's!!!! After an unannounced multi-week hiatus, ELLENWatch is risen. I can make no excuses. (Though, for all you know, I was just waiting to see when Anonymous would finally break down and post a long backlog for me!) For the record, I did not spend the time in bed with Gonzalo, Alan, or Harold. Any other guesses, though? 

Looks to me like the critical updates are: 1) Willem is tired of the runaround and rescinded his offer to marry Ellen after she decided not to go to Belgum to meet his fam; 2) Ellen still needs to loose some waight; 3) Ed is even more reasonably suspect as cheating on Rosa. Extra long hours at work? Mmmmhmmmm. 

I'll try to do better, but I know better than to over-promise. Who knows what else I may have in this little life of mine?Thank's again for baring with me, though.

I am planning to take Lynn out to Lunch at the CELLAR in Macy’s. She love’s PASTA and they make a GREAT Garlic Penne Pasta. Now that she is dateing Mason, she doesn’t care that much about her wieght, so she is up for the PASTA. I want to spend a littel time alone with her (away from Mason), since they seem to be liveing together, I think at Mason’s apartement. I can tell b/c she is the one that OFTEN does NOT come in with fresh clotheing, haveing spent the nite before at HIS place. I have to warn her not to get to lazy yet, b/c he has NOT yet agreed to marry her. I found out she is NOT pregenent yet b/c she was complaieneing about her period so you can NOT be pregenent and have that also. That is a good thing b/c Mason is way to young to father a child, tho I am NOT. FOOEY!

Monday, April 7, 2014

could not wait for Mom’s Brisket

Now that Ellen finally shared her definitive, complete date of birth with us, there's no reason not to repeat her age left and right now! Note also that we're talking about "Prince Willem." One European gent is being conflated with another--though we only have one marriage offer and, I believe, one full head of hair to match! 

Well, If I were YOU, I would go chat with them. They think your good, so that is a GOOD thing. The extra $40K is a good thing. The bigger firm may NOT be a good thing, but doeing nothing is NOT a good thing. You should ask them if they have a clotheing allowance, b/c that could be worth alot like it is for me here. I get alot of clotheing effectiveley FREE b/c I wear the clotheing ONLEY at work, so NOT only does the manageing partner pay alot of the cost, I also get the clotheing DEDUCTED from my income tax return, b/c it is NOT used exept when I go to court and at work so that I look proper for the JUDGE and win my cases (93%)!!! YAY!!!!!!
I had another coment for one of the poster’s above who was goeing to London. Congrat’s! Remember that the Brit’s absolutely can NOT cook at all, so do NOT worry about loosing your fiancee to a woman who cook’s. Mom told me that Dad could NOT wait to get home after he was stationed in Britan b/c the food was so terible that he could not wait for Mom’s Brisket. He also wound up marrying Mom right away b/c she had other men interested in her brisket. They evidenteley did NOT care that mom’s tuchus was big, as was Grandma Trudy’s tuchus (which is still big). Men think thru their stomac’s so if you can cook, you will sureley MARRY your hubby to be.
Also, since your onley 27 (I am 33), you have 6 more year’s b/f you need to worry about babie’s, but with all of the fuss in Britan about the royals and the babies, many Brit’s are getting pregnent right away b/c they want their child to be eligibel to MARRY the new king when he grow’s up, just like I thought Prince Harry would be OK if he did NOT party so much. Prince Willem is looseing his hair so I alway’s think of him like the manageing partner, but am sure Prince Willem has better breathe then the manageing partner, who is eateing alot of hardboiled eggs at work lateley. FOOEY!

Window’s XT will NO LONGER be suported

MP's data backup plan is every bit as savvy and sophisticated as his firm's websight, tax practice's, billing guidelines, I could go on...

This is a smart p’ost. I will share it with the manageing partner! Our preparedness plan has us all backeing up our file’s on THUMM DRIVES, which the manageing partner got at a CLE event. He told us each day to copy all file’s onto these drive’s b/c if anything happen’s to our PC’s we will still have our file’s. The manageing partner gave us these THUMM Drives after the teck guy’s said we should upgrade so that our server could handel this, but the manageing partner does NOT want to spend $2000 for a decent server. The teck guy said that Window’s XT will NO LONGER be suported after tomorrow, so he said he could NOT assure our security. I want a new computer, but the manageing partner say’s I should just use my MacBook Air if I do NOT like the PC on my desk. FOOEY!

some “wifeley secret’s”

Willem made a logical decision, with all this stalleing from Ellen. How else was he ever going to get an answer? "A littel pressure" was precisely his intent, but he's tried everything else, for month's, so no fault. 

I actually think Myrna's openness to Harold is the bigger story here, though (see bottom). Sure she says she's kidding, but these jokes demonstrate a fair bit of imagination--as to how she would power through the dread assignment of sleeping with him. What's going on?

Yay! Pricey Monday’s! I love Pricey Monday’s and this Sheathe dress! But what is with the model’s leg’s? She look’s like she was rideing a horse all weekend, no? Myrna participated in some sort of IRON WOMAN contest on the beach over the weekend and there were alot of SCAREY women there–one woman even had a mustach! FOOEY! But Myrna did well, especialy in the run on the beach where she even beat the woman with the mustach. We found out later that the woman with the mustach worked for the local fire departement! DOUBEL FOOEY, b/c if you are in a fire, you do NOT want your mustach (or any other hair) to catch on FIRE!
Willem bought me a ticket to Belgum for June 8, which he say’s is OK b/c if I can NOT make it, it is fuly refundeable, but I am feeleing a littel pressure now to have to date him exclusivly b/c it is soooo expensive to go to Belgum on a refundeable ticket! Beside’s his mother and grandmother now want me over there to teach me some “wifeley secret’s”….I can ONLEY wonder what that is about. Also, the manageing partner keep’s asking about new case’s and he does NOT want me doieng any PRO BONO this summer, like I have done with peeople who need estate planning advise, which Madeline and I do at the local law school. TRIPEL FOOEY b/c some of those peeople have money and eligibel son’s that I might be able to date and MARRY, so I would NOT have to go to Belgum.
I found a $5 bill on the beach–it was bloweing around and there was NOT one person to ask if it was their’s, so Myrna and I went to Dunking Donut’s and had a coffee and donut with it! YAY!!!! We did NOT tell Dad, b/c he was NOT pleased with my tuchus and said that it is no wonder that only a Belgan person would want to marry me and that tuchus, b/c it get’s cold in the winter in Belgum, and he remember’s spending a few nights with a Belgan woman with a big tuchus. Mom was NOT happy to hear this, but she was NOT suprised, b/c Dad has alway’s had a big ego (and a lot of testerone, mom say’s, that make’s him need to have women at night). FOOEY, b/c I do NOT want Willem needeing me at night.
Harold also texted me. He said he was passeing Crumb’s and thought of me. I do NOT want men thinkeing of me just when they pass a bakery. Myrna think’s Harold might be fun, even if he is baldeing and has bad breathe. She say’s she can wash his mouth out with Listereane, and put a bag over his head if she has to. FOOEY b/c I could NEVER think of him in a sexueal way. I keep thinkeing of the manageing partner, and that is what Harold will look like in mabye 30 year’s! DOUBEL FOOEY!

It is a littel MACHO

EXPERRIME'NT!!! I am leaveing out Ellen post's that I missed! Can you possibly handel it, readers? I know just about everyone who is real and can walk through the world will forgive me, but I have some extremely persnickety phantom readers (all employed at S&S--huge firm that it is). For those of you who do feel this might bring about the world's end, please post either neglected material or editorial's on same in the COMENTS! Yay!!!

As to the text at hand: gross but predictable that a judge is hitting on Ellen. More surprising that she thinks he's a prospect for Myrna--how so? If anything, Myrna has more leverage on the dating scene, and unlike Ellen she has nothing to gain career-wise by cozying up on the bench.

Yay! Open thread’s! I love Open thread’s! And Friday, b/c I am on my way soon to go eat Frittatta’s at home with Myrna.
But as for the OP, who wan’ts a good place to eat between the THEATER District and Penn Station, I think your best bet is Ruth Chriss’s Steak House. It is a littel MACHO, with dark wood everywhere, but they have GREAT food and Potatoe’s that dad absolutely forbid’s me to eat b/c it goes directley to my tuchus he say’s. But I do NOT mind eating alot of potatoe’s b/c they are so good with sour cream on them and the steak’s are VERY juicy b/c there is alot of MARBELING (meaning fatty, but good).
You DO have to tell them NOT to grill the steak’s with BUTTER ON THEM b/c that only makes it MORE Calories then what you need, but if you forget, it is so good (but not for your tuchus). If you are goieng to the theater, just look up where they are — I think somewhere around 49th street. You could also go to Capital Grille, which is similar, but there are some waiter’s there that love to stare at my boobie’s, so make sure to wear a TURTELNECK so they won’t see anything.
I met a judge today at Macy’s, where I was lookeing at their big sale’s this weekend. The judge recognized me from Center Street, but I do NOT think I ever had a case in front of him. He is freind’s with my Judge, but he does NOT handel WC cases on Special Term. He asked if I was married, but he could see I had NO ring. I said no, so he said I should drop by his chamber’s the next time I was in court and we could talk. I realy did NOT know what to say so I just said that mabye I would tho I have to do 600 more hours, and my time with him would NOT be billeable unless I could find some NEXXUS to a case I was working on. He said that our talk could be viewed as general education, and I said that the manageing partner let’s me allocate those hour’s to my cleint’s.
He is a little old for me (mabye 55), but he said he work’s out at the NYSC downtown. He said he saw me with my lit bag, and remembered me to be very “strikeing”. I hope I do NOT stand out that much in a crowd, but this guy sure knew alot about me.
I will have to tell Myrna about this judge, b/c he could have some possibilitie’s for Myrna, if not for me. She is younger, but she is very worldly and could talk to this guy about alot of thing’s I can NOT. FOOEY b/c I need a smart guy, but I think this guy onley makes about $150,000 / year, and that is NOT enough to support me and my children. I also do NOT think I would like him haveing sex with me b/c he is also bald and need’s to use some kind of Mouthwash. FOOEY!
  • Ellen, you are attracting the wrong men. You need to go to a party with people your own age or you will always have judges, professors and other geriatrics looking to spread their seed after you for your youth and fecundity. These narcissistic men will surely impregnate you if it’s the last thing they do, but won’t be around 20 years down the road for their high school graduations. If you really want a child right now, go to a party in Williamsburg or Dumbo where plenty of men are available for stairwell sex and the kind of anonymity you want to keep losers out of your child’s upbringing. But stay away from geezers who will likely have to shoot many blanks before hitting pay dirt with you.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

through the SNOW with my Fitbit

Thank's, Nora. Nora was hitting it pretty hard on ELLENWatch today as well. 

Are we actually thinking about meeting Harold at Crumb's this weekend? Baked goods with this guy were never a good idea before! And I thought he'd been disqualified, as they say, six ways from Sunday anyhow. Young, bald, unemployed, heedless, related to her boss...I'd say you were right the first (and third) times, Ellen. There must be other men in New York. Indeed I think you know a few of them, some offering to whisk you away to distant land's! 

Fooey! I do not think I would wear this, even in the winter when I have to walk through the SNOW with my Fitbit. I agree this will keep my face warm, but do NOT think it look’s that nice. I do NOT want to be thought of as a terorist. DOUBEL FOOEY! Today’s pick’s are a littel unusual, Kat. I would have prefered a NICE HERMES scarf or something like that if you want to stay warm.
BTW, Harold showed up today in the office, and he could use this. He has very littel hair on the top of his head, like the manageing partner, but he is groweing a beard with sideburn’s. It almost look’s like his head is upside down. I told that to Frank and he agreed. Harold want’s to meet me at Crumbs over the weekend. I said Mabye. Madeline got caught today in the toilet. The lock broke with her inside so we had to call the building JANITOR’s to get her out of there. I can’t wait until we MOVE, but we have no place to go! There are some new teck guy’s who moved in next door and they are so wierd! The guy’s look into our glass window to stare at us. I think they have never seen peeople who are NOT computer nerd’s! FOOEY on nerd’s! FOOEY!
Reply Report
This is an April fool’s joke. Don’t be too serious today. Men will be there for you. None are unique; in fact as my mom says, turn ‘em upside down and all men look alike. Trust me on this one.

women who have been abel to harness their men

Here was Ellen's response to the April Fool's post asking what kinds of articels Corporette readers would like to see. (She may not have noticed that DAD was invited to join a roundtable on Living One's Life Correctly--reading comprehension has never been one of Ellen's strengths.) I'd actually love to see such a thread too, however! "Manageing Your Men: From Home to Office."

I would like to see a special place on Corporete where profesional women like me can discuss the dificultie’s associated with balance work and a career with home and family issue’s. Personaly, I think I have figured out the work thing pretty well, but the personal family side is a mess. FOOEY! Men are so dificult to figure out and I would LOVE to hear from women who have been abel to harness their men (like Rosa) and have a good family life as MARRIED HUSBAND AND WIFE, so that the wife (me) can enjoy a home life rather then haveing to bill 6600 hour’s a year so that the manageing partner get’s rich on his 53 foot boat or whatever it is. In my case, I think the manageing partner just think’s of me as a billeing machine who can generate alot of revenue so that he and Margie can live big at the Hampton’s while I slave away day and night to keep up my billeings. A place on this websight where women can trade tip’s on how to handel men would be great Kat! YAY!!!!

YAY! B/c That is what I want

I never knew that Ellen wanted an SUV to go with her suburban home, family, and job-free second lease on life! I don't believe she has a car at all right now, but this dream, at least, is attainable by merit. 

Dad's freind's son has yet to make his official entrance, but again I say...give this guy a name! Remember, Frank is taken by two characters at this point. Try something else. Like BROCK or ROCK.

I agree. These are cute, but I could not wear them at work b/c Frank would be stareing at my leg’s as well as my tuchus, particulearely if I took off the jacket. I have enough of an issue with the manageing partner b/c I do NOT think he would reimburse me for this outfit. It IS, however, one that ROSA could wear if she EVER decided she needed to go back into the 9-5 workeforce. But for now, with raiseing the kid’s and manageing her house and housekeepeing in Chapeauqa, she is already VERY busy; to busy to even think about workeing OUTSIDE the house. YAY! B/c That is what I want for me. A beautiful house, kid’s and a husband that work’s hard to make sure there is enough money to pay for all of that, and my NEW SUV!
I spoke with the manageing partner about the extra 600 hour’s and he told me that he could NOT even consider anything new b/c he has a new BUDGET that he is workeing on that factor’s in our new space, which he has NOT found yet, but which he say’s will cost alot more, and give me a WINDOW! I told him I would perfer not to have a window as long as I got $75K and kept my clotheing allowance. He said I could not have both in his budget, which ONLEY has me down for the clotheing allowance. He told me I may be luckey to be abel to keep the clotheing allowance with all of the increased cost’s. He said to talk to Frank about the space, but Frank is in the toilet again, with his NY P’ost readeing about the MET’s! FOOEY! Why do men alway’s read in the toilet?
Dad’s freind’s son is goeing to call. He was NOT abel to come to my birtheday party on Sunday, but his dad took home some Corn Beef for him. Eveidenteally he is a big deli fan like me–YAY! At least he is not a complete looser! I hope he is abel to meet me. Myrna also want’s to meet him, so I will sugest that he take us BOTH out. He will be luckey to have two beautiful women to entertain and we will get good food out of it! YAY!!!!!

Monday, March 31, 2014

I learned from mom to be pateint

For anyone who missed it, and while we're talking about tax probelems, here is the background on why Ellen's firm owes so much. No surprise that she's expected to take the fall now, and Dad is of course full of tough talk now that his consulting fees are locked down and he's safe from all other blowback. My outlook on this prospect for a raise is dim at best, too--though it seem's Ellen earnestly wonders whether keeping the clotheing allowance is more important anyway. 

Fooey! I love this FURLA Satchel, but I just bought another one, and it’s to late to return it b/c the baby spit up on it this weekend at Dad’s house. DOUBEL FOOEY!
I learned from mom to be pateint and not to let men fluster me. The manageing partner has been pusheing for me to get new busness b/c we need to make more money to pay the tax bill, but I realy think I should NOT be responsibel for that b/c I did NOT get a partnership share in those year’s, which must of been alot bigger b/c they were short paying the taxe’s. But NO, the manageing partner want’s me to carry the load on it and pay it off thru more work so that he and his dad can make alot more money. FOOEY!
Dad say’s I should negotiatite for a $75,000 raise, b/c He figure’s if I am going to HAVE TO work another 600 hours (at $700/hour), that is breinging in another $420,000 GROSS into the billiengs, so I should get the equivealant of a “tip” of $75K, which is less then 18%. It make’s alot of sense to me, but I wonder if the manageing partner is goeing to get MAD at me, like he alway’s does when I ask for more money. I DO have expenses, and I DO love this satchel, but I worry that he will take away my clotheing allowance if he gives me another $75K. What does the hive think? Should I even ask for it? Why do I have these delimmas? Why can’t I just get prince Charming to find me and MARRY me already so I can have kid’s! I am so stressed over this now. TRIPEL FOOEY!

I am the one goeing to IRS Jail

So Ellen is in tax trouble personally as well as in her capacity at Manageing & MANAGEING! What's the common denominator? Dad and his incredible domineering paired with terrible advice, that's what. If nobody else has a paper trail impleicateing him, I do! HE IS THE ONE WHO SHOULD GO TO IRS JAIL. In both matters--though MP should certainly join him for most of the time served. 

Yay! Pricey Monday’s! But who has $1200 for this dress, Kat? OMG, Dad would skewer me! As for the OP, when you come back, you MUST tell us about Belgum. My freind, Willem is from a small town near the German BORDER, but he talk’s alot about BRUGE, and OF COURSE, BRUSSELS. I think I will like Belgum b/c I LOVE Brussel Sprout’s.
This weekend, the tax guy was out at my dad’s and dad is mad that I lost some of my coop paperwork. He said that if the coop was in HIS name, HE would get the paperwork and it would NOT have been lost. FOOEY b/c I can go back to the COOP and the president is on my floor. Also, the tax guy said I should NOT be deducteing so much for my home office. Now I lost $540 as a deduction, and that make’s me pay MORE taxe’s, dad says. Dad told me this tax guy is NOT agresive, and I should NOT worry if I get audited b/c he will be there to do all the talkeing. Madeline say’s ONLY a registered agent can come with you into an IRS audit, unless you are bringeing in your attorney, and DAD is NOT either. FOOEY on Dad b/c I am the one goeing to IRS Jail if there is a probelem. FOOEY!
This weekend, Mom baked me a Peach Cobbler for my birtheday, and Myrna ate most of it last nite when we got home. Dad told me to give ALL of it to her b/c my tuchus was to big, but I said NO, it is my birtheday. Mom agreed and gave me a second pie that dad did NOT even see. YAY!!!!

Thank’s to the HIVE for wisheing me a HAPPY BIRTHEDAY!

So tentatively I'm going to say that Ellen's actual birthdate is 3-28-81. This is the best information we've ever gotten on it. 

Waiting to hear what happened, if anything, with Dad's freind's son.

Yay! Open Thread’s! I love Open thread’s! I am leaveing soon to meet Myrna, who is pickeing me up here at work (she get’s to drive to work on Friday’s) and we are heading straight to my parent’s house for dinner and the weekend! Yay! No men for a change unless dad’s freind’s son come’s this weekend for the party. FOOEY–I want at least a coupel of days where MEN are not stareing at us and askeing us dumb question’s!
Myrna says that she is doeing some contest where she run’s up the stair’s of the Empire State Building. Does anyone else in the Hive do this? Is it safe? I would think it’s dusty in there! FOOEY! It must be good for the tuchus, so I will LOAN Myrna my fitbit. I did the math. If it is 100 storie’s high and there are 20 stair’s per storie, then that is 2,000 step’s! Now if she did it 5 time’s I could sleep or watch TV all day and never get off my own tuchus, but I won’t. Thank’s Myrna, and Thank’s to the HIVE for wisheing me a HAPPY BIRTHEDAY! YAY!!!!!!

I hope he is eligibel

Ed "has to work" for the whole family celebration weekend, and Rosa doesn't understand the detail's? You've been warned, woman

As for Prince Harry, pretty sure I'm the one who planted this idea in Ellen's scrunchie-bedecked head. (Come to think of it, I think Ed running around with someone younger was all ELLENWatch too.) You're welcome! But I agree, haveing a runner-up Prince in mind is probably a good idea.

Yay! Fruegel Friday’s!!! I LOVE fruegel Friday’s and Land’s End! Great choice, Kat!!!!!
Rosa got me a great Land’s End sweater last year, and I wash it regularley, and it has NOT shrunken or pille’d up either! I recomend it highly!!!
I am takeing off early today b/c to go home for my Birthday celabration dad and mom are hosteing for me! Rosa and the kid’s are coming down this weekend from Chapaqua, but Ed has to work. He has some sort of big closeing comeing up that he has to work on. Rosa say’s I know more about it then she does, but he does financeial stuff, and I am a WC lawyer, so I am not sure why she think’s that. FOOEY!
Myrna is driveing us out to LI so that will make it alot easier for me to carry all of my stuff back here on Sunday. Myrna says she gets 50% of the pie’s mom bake’s but I have NOT agreed to that. Dad may make her take more if he is unhappy with my tuchus, he said when I told him the cost of my ride. Dad also said that if my tuchus was to big, he would make me walk around the park 5 time’s tomorow. I said it is goieng to rain and he said then an hour on his ellyptical machine. That is OK b/c he has a 55 inch TV to watch on the ellyptical, and I can watch NETFLIX!!! YAY!!!!
It is finally getting alot warmer today when I came in I was not frozen. That is a good thing. I hope Spring is finalley here, as should the rest of the hive! The manageing partner keeps telling us about Margie and the baby. I want a baby also. Dad say’s one of his freind’s is goeing to be over this weekend with his son. I hope he is eligibel, and not a drunken alchoholic. FOOEY on that. I want a PRINCE, and if not Prince Harry, then some other Prince! YAY!!!!

if it is fasheiaonable if it is busted by the schmoe’s

For the first time, we have a projection for Ellen's look aged a bit: Tory Burch. One could obviously do much worse! But again: RICH HUSBAND(S). If her cheekbones and wind-kissed blond are so great, why can't Ellen bag the goods too? 

Scroll down for another inexplicable apostrophe (we were already seeing po'st, but here we have a word containing no S at all). Also, who is to blame for Frank's leering? Mrs. Frank, duh. Maybe she should get pregnant like Margie (and Lynn? ehhh?????) Unless she's too old, in which case of course the oogleing will continue. 

Yay! I love Tory Birch and this satchel. Dad say’s that I will probabley eventualley look alot like Tory Birch when I get older. YAY!!!!!
As for the OP, I think that you should get him a sachel (a male version of coarse), b/c if he is goeing to be doieng alot of travelling, then he will need something to carry his stuff in. I bought Dad a huge Schlepper for when he went with mom to Asia about 15 year’s ago, but the dummy’s on the airplane threw the Schlepper onto the conveyer belt and busted the zipper wide open so by the time dad got it, it was all tape’d up. FOOEY!
And this was BEFORE 9/11! DOUBEL Fooey! So I went back to the luggage place with the schlepper and they gave me my money back and I got dad a different schlepper. The morale of the story is: DO NOT go for fashion with a schlepper; go for strength and a good zipper. Who care’s if it is fasheiaonable if it is busted by the schmoe’s in the airport? I was very mad when DAD told me the STORY. FOOEY on Schleppers that can not schlepp!
I asked Frank for another W2, b/c I lost mine, so he has to go back and print one out. He took the chance to stare right at my boobie’s when he said that he would have to looke all over for a replacement. He should not have to looke there to find the W2, right? I wish Frank’s wife would be more giveing to him so that he would not have to be stareing at me and my boobie’s all day! FOOEY on that!

Thursday, March 27, 2014

not the peeeing probelem if he was to tired to see the bowl at night

This estimable business just keeps getting nods here at ELLENWatch! (There are two more). I say this belong's on Yelp, though: I came in complaining about my alcoholic boyfriend and they gave me very practical advice about urination that fell wide of the mark. Get yr wine here! 

I guess the helpful, friendly Garnet staff may be some of the most knowledgeable regarding Alan's drinking, at this point: either they still see him, or they don't. I really doubt moving back in with his mom would have cut down on his visit's there, unless he is also unemployed and out of train fare (granted, possibel). 

This is a great selection, Kat, but Dad say’s I must save now b/c my taxes are due soon. FOOEY!
As for the OP, Yay! I know where you can get a great deal on RED Wine. If you are in NYC, just go to Garnet Liqour’s on Lex and about 66th Street. Look it up on the INTERNET. When I was dateing Alan, he alway’s stopped in there and at the TIME, I did NOT know that it was goeing to be a probelem with his drinkeing, but he alway’s got good RED Wine there. The peeople were also very helpful, and it is near a subway stop so you do NOT have to carry it to far, and also they deliver. Yay!!!
So once Alan got the drinkeing probelem, I told the peeople at Garnet NOT to sell him wine any more b/c he got drunk to often and made a mess in my apartement, includeing throwing up as well as peeing on the floor of the batheroom when he missed the toilet bowl. FOOEY! They recomended that he drink dry grape juice, which would solve the alchohol probelem, but not the peeeing probelem if he was to tired to see the bowl at night. I thanked them and now recomend them to anyone that need’s a place to buy wine in NYC.
Dad told me NOT to forget all my tax stuff. The acountant will be at Dad’s house Saturday, and we BOTH have alot to go over with him. Dad told me they changed the HOME OFFICE RULES, so mabye I can get a bigger deduection this year!!! YAY!!!!!! We will see. Dad does NOT want for me to pay more taxe’s then I have to. YAY!!!!

There were NO eligibel guy’s at the Museum

Was this ice cream a la mode? No wonder Ellen is worried about tuchus expansion--she was warned last time by a well-wisher that no, such a dessert would absolutely not be "ok," but now ELLENWatcher Tina is chimeing in saying whatever. 

Desappointing, obviously, that no future husband turned up at the museum. You'd think that with Myrna accompanying, they'd at least get a few prospects? Anyway, I don't think we should be so quick to write off the planeatarium. Dark, enclosed spaces allowing one to gaze up wistfully have set the scene for many a marriage proposal!

Yay! I love Tahari, but b/c of my tuchus, size 4 works for me now. I am thinkeing tho, that dad is right– that if I start buying size 4′s that I will NEVER go back to my size 2′s, and that would mean giveing in to my tuchus, dad says. Dad make’s alot of sense, but it is NOT him walkeing his tuchus off to fit into a size 2, it is me– and I thought that if I DO get some size 4′s that I would be abel to use these in a PINCH, when the size 2′s feel to small b/c of my tuchus, which dad call’s OVERSTUFFED. FOOEY on dad for compareing my tuchus to an overstuffed chair!
Myrna and I saw alot of dinasaur’s at the Museum over the weekend and she took picture’s but I am NOT sure she should of, b/c the guard skowled at her for doing it even tho she onley used an IPHONE!
There were NO eligibel guy’s at the Museum tho. I did NOT want to go to the planeatarium b/c I did NOT want to have to go in the dark and look up. FOOEY!
We did have ice cream at their food court and it was VERY good. Myrna also had a little pasta, but her tuchus is alot smaller then mine. She said she would go back with me again soon. YAY!!!!
  • Go with the size 4, and to heck with your dad and his tuchus comments. You have to be comfortable, and not worry about it.