Saturday, June 30, 2012

stareing at you instead of the stuff they are suposed to.

Our girl is on at least a bit of a streak of wise and heartfelt advice. This is the second weekend in a row she has sympathized with someone who lacks local friends/company. 
Ellen's thinking about her own life is frequently conflicted, here manifesting in the fact that she goes to MUSEUMs to meet guy's, but finds that those most interested in her detract notably from the experience. 
As predicted, by the way, still no word on the younger man. Maybe if someone else asks her she will be more forthcoming? (Can I get a DEPUTY?) I don't blame her for trying to ignore sleazy paparazz-me. 

Ellen June 30, 2012 at 7:10 am
Dont feel bad. When I first came to the city, I was feeling ALOT like you, so I started to chanel my thinking to positive things. The FIRST thing I looked up were the places that had things to see where other peeple went.
Shopping is the best, but the next BEST place is the MUSEUMs–specifacly the NATURAL HISTORY and the MET, where you can see mummies. There also are alot of guy’s there. You DO have to put up with their fake line’s and them stareing at you instead of the stuff they are suposed to.
Things will get better, so for now cheer up and shop or go to the MUSEUM’s!

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Friday, June 29, 2012

shorts is the way to GO.

"So anyway..." 
Ellen is abundantly clear on certain issues, but consistently elusive on others. We have plenty of background on MP's wardrobe reimbursement policy, her tuchus size, and which favorite department store she's heading to this weekend. (In my exhaustive research practice, I did feel like checking whether they are in fact having a July 4 sale. Yep.) 
However, to my dismay, not so much as a hint on what's going on with FRANK/HAROLD/HAROLD FRANK. I can try to follow up, but that usually doesn't yield. 

Ellen June 29, 2012 at 3:46 pm
Actualy, these kind of short’s I CAN wear b/c they are not to tight. I will be geting some like these for The BEACH, b/c my tuchus is to big to wear JUST the cute bikini bottom’s alone and I do NOT want to call EVEN more attention to my tuchus at the beach, so shorts is the way to GO.
The manageing partner will NOT aprove this b/c this is NOT work atire, so I have to pay 100% myself for short’s and halter top’s. Not a bad deal, b/c the big ticket items — skirt’s, suit’s, blouse’s and shoe’s, he WILL pick up the tab for (at 20% that is).
So anyway, the MANAGEING partner is leting us all go at 4 for the weekend, and I am going RIGHT over to Lord and Taylor’s b/f I go home. There is a good sale going on and I need a new skirt. HAPPY FRIDAY! YAY!

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have to drink alot of soda

Verna June 29, 2012 at 2:02 pm
I like them bland b/c I do not like to have to drink alot of soda to cool off after eating them.
I am having issues staying slim, so irrespective of how I have them, I try to minimize this kind of starch.

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you will peseveare no matter WHAT!

Pretty sure this is the longest Ellen I've ever seen. It's also sweet. We know enough about Ellen to recognize she has indeed learned some lessons the hard way. Most obviously, though I still assume Alan is just as fictional as she is, I think of the sadness in having a long-term relationship with a basically non-functioning alcoholic. She didn't have to mention her "personal life," but I suspect this is what she means.

To the OP, whom I think I can place among regular commenters: I'm sorry. You got a lot of good empathy here, and I add mine. DECIDED TO WRITE MORE: This post speaks to one of the Ellen themes I most often contemplate: professional competence. The OP mentions how often she feels confused at work, or concerned that she's making mistakes, and the supremely, distinctively clueless Ellen commiserates. 
This is kind in intention, if we take it at face value, yet might bring reassurance (thanks Ellen) but also despair (I'm relatable to Ellen? Oh lordy.) Ellen's trademark is not knowing what the hell she's doing, plus total meta-ignorance. She has no idea the extent to which she has no idea. Here she acknowledges lightly what the OP is staring down darkly.
I have very high-pressure work experience(s) myself. Ellen-spirit in my mind and heart sometimes helps me with perspective, or makes me feel like a total ace in comparison. I believe this explains, in part, why she has a singular place on Corporette; why it's a more logical home for her than other sites. She supposedly gets the kind of anxiety we all face, yet is enviably oblivious at the same time.

Also one of many reasons I'll be on the edge of my seat as the year she comes up for partner draws near. It can't be too long from now.

Ellen's closeout reference to 20% and Lord & Taylor is as if to remind us not to get too serius. "It's still me, y'all..." 

Ellen June 29, 2012 at 10:05 am
do NOT be so hard on yourselves. THERE are Many times that I think the same thing, but in the end, you HAVE to say to yourselves,like I do to reminde myself, that you have gradueated with a LAW degree, you are a member of the BAR in GOOD Standeing, and that you will peseveare no matter WHAT!
I have issues from time that I have NO idea about, but I ask the manageing partner, and usueally he is helpful. Once in a while he sends me to one of the OTHER partners, but they are REALLY out of it, so I do NOT even try to ask them.
The same goes for your personal life. While things could alway’s be smoother, they ALSO could be alot worse. I have learned many lessons the hard way, but I still forage forward, and I sugest you do to, b/c you are a wonderful person who is way to hard on yourselves.
So think about it like me. YOU have a lot of good time a head of you, and make the most of it. Do not let your work or personal issues make you THINK you are NOT a sucess. You are, and if any one says OTHERWISE, then you just say FOOEY to them and FOOEY to that.
Best wishes for a great holiday WEEKEND. I am spendeing mine in the CITY. There’s a 20% coupon I got for Lord and Taylor’s! YAY!!!!!

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Thursday, June 28, 2012

"which is beloved by all"

Ptooey certainly is not going to happen. Unclear, however, whether this Anon knows to whom she is speaking. 

Jill June 28, 2012 at 2:17 pm
You celebrate by NOT saying Ptooey!
Anon June 28, 2012 at 3:05 pm
Can we stop with the “ptooey”, please?
I kind of feel like Regina George, here, but stop trying to make ptooey happen. It isn’t going to happen. We already have Fooey, which is beloved by all, and doesn’t make anyone think of spitting.
Herbie June 28, 2012 at 3:30 pm
It’s so fetch.

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will NOT be able to ooogle anything!

Today's item combines two of Ellen's perennial loves: Lord & Taylor and Anne Klein. For those interested in Ellen's clothing preferences, it looks like we now know she's willing to wear a complete bright pink suit even in her early thirties (as she is).

Ellen June 28, 2012 at 9:39 am
The acount must be dorment, and that is what hapens.
This hapened to me with an old law school acount I no longer used. E-mail YAHOO and tell them to close down the acount.
BTW, whis Anne Klein suit is FINTASTIC! It is is EXACTELY what I can wear at work, and when I DO, the manageing partner will NOT be able to ooogle anything! It covers everyething very well and is VERY tasteful.
I can’t wait to ask for permision to buy this and get my 20% reembursement on a suit he CANNOT question! This is why I love Ann Klein!

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[Second Coming!]

I'm fanning myself vigorously this morning. Guess who came back by, this time announcing herself publicly and submitting game-change level assistance in the ELLENWatch mission?
Your eyes do not deceive you, readers:

Ha, sorry, I always read this site on my iPad and haven't figured out how to log in. I do like to see what she posts before she does it, but I almost never delete her stuff, at least not now. There was a period of several months where I didn't let anything on (and trashed it all) and I was amazed how often she still commented, clearly reading the posts too. She's as much a mystery to me as anyone.

- kat

(Background for those who need it: Kat was responding to this set of questions and concerns occasioned by Ellen's nearly week-long absence earlier this month.)


First: I need to get past "I always read this site on my iPad." I'm sure "always" just means that this is as opposed to reading it on her computer. The concept of anyone, especially Kat, "always" reading me is just too much.

The middle portion of this comment essentially confirms our existing hunches about relevant logistics. But as such it is invaluable

Finally: "she's as much a mystery to me as anyone." This puts to rest some of my more fun notions that Ellen and Kat knew each other in law school, but also gives the lie to Ellen's occasional intimations that she has some kind of outside, private contact with Kat in which Kat threatens to edet her if she gets TOO OFF-TARGET and so on. Ellen may see benefit in pretending they have some kind of collegial relationship, but they do not. (Kat and the likes of me, on the other hand...haha.)

So welcome back, Kat! As many times as you wish to grace us! This was immensely helpful; made my day if not week. And as I say to everyone, thank's for playeing. 

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

if you do NOT mind SCANDINAVYAN food

Further support for the working theory that Ellen is fair and blonde.

Ellen June 27, 2012 at 3:14 pm
I recomend the RAINBOW Room at the TOP of 30 Rockefeller Plaza for a very nice dinner, and they ALSO have a dance floor and live band!
When I was dateing Alan, he took me there, and it was very SWANKEY, but you HAVE to get dressed up. Fooey on Alan for getting drunk, but we had great LAMB CHOPS (rack of lamb, that is, and it was the GOOD type, with no GRIZZLE!!!!!
Also, you can go to Aquavit, if you do NOT mind SCANDINAVYAN food (I LOVE IT, b/c some peeple think I am Norwegian.
BTW, the GUCCI pant’s suit is wonderful, but not for me. You HAVE TO be a size 2 to look good with this and that will NOT be hapening for me this year!

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you will have chin splint’s.

Ellen affirms that MP's leering isn't tolerable even if the money goes toward breast cancer research.

Ellen June 27, 2012 at 10:11 am
I am NOT a runner, but I have a little advise.
First, do NOT do to much right away, or you will NOT stick with it b/c you will have chin splint’s.
Then, if you start slowely, you can gradueally ramp up to do alot more after a while.
The manageing partner wanted me to enter the Chase Challenge and run around Central Park representeing the firm but I said I was NOT ready to do so b/c I did NOT have time to ramp up.
Now he want’s me to do the next Susan B. Komen challenge. He just wants to come and watch me weareing the firms’ TEE shirt and short’s. I do NOT want to let him oggle me, even at a CHARITY event. FOOEY!

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a job, a prominent tuchus, and multiple men

Fairly standard Lourine at this point; scorned sister (or still can't rule out cousin). The oblique references to "testosterone" and "society" make me glad once more that I finally did make that new tag politic's and Sexism.
Teck note: Realistically, I think my problems are likely to continue tomorrow (if not longer). Hang in their.

Lourine June 26, 2012 at 6:30 pm
Why feel sorry for her? She has a job, a prominent tuchus, and multiple men who are all longing after her. While I have none of the above, I am much prettier than her, and can spell. The fact that I have some education but still cannot get a decent job is a sad commentary on today’s testosterone driven society. I will agree with her on one thing. Fooey!

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Tuesday, June 26, 2012

somehow I think it is sexeual in nature

Thanks for asking, eek. The historical character you're thinking of is, at least as identified thus far, Nerdy Guy. Despite my direct request, Ellen never disclosed his name. 

Both HAROLD and FRANK are new mentions today, and Blonde Lawyer aptly points out the ambiguity in Ellen's use of both names. At any rate, being recently out of college and/or age 22 means neither can be Nerdy Guy, because nobody is a 5th-year associate at Dewey LeBeouf at this life stage. (Search this blog for "nerdy guy" if you'd like to review his background and credentials prior to turning down MP's job offer.) 

eek's first comment deserves some extra kudos, I think. It weaves together a number of recent Ellen themes unrelated both to the post and to each other in a writeing style we can all recognize. I also like to see the CAPS in my title inverted from time to time--EllenWATCH--because this too reflects the spirit around which we commune.

Overall, this plot-driven post does pull its weight as our only Ellen of the day! Thanks for playing, guys! And never wonder where you should come for continuous covereage and analyesiss, no matter what may come of this date. (Spoiler alert: probably nothing.) ASIDE: I'm having TECK problems today. FOOEY, and thank's for dealing. 

Ellen June 26, 2012 at 2:41 pm
I totaly love the pump’s but I have a dillemna that I REALLY need the HIVEs input.
The manageing partner asked me if I would go as a date with his nephew, Harold, to his post college gradueation party here in NYC. The dillemna I have is that Frank is alot younger then me (he’s only about 22 I think) and he want’s to come to the party with a profesional type like me b/c he wants to impress his freinds (who are probabley also just gradueated from school and now liveing in the City near me. He is also kinda nerdy.
While I normally would not object that much, in Harolds’ case, whenever he come’s by to see the manageing partner, they always whisper and smile and also are lookeing at me the WHOLE time from the manageing partners’ office. I do NOT know exactely what they are saying, but somehow I think it is sexeual in nature b/c the manageing partner winks alot at me when they are toegether. I think Harold probabely also is telling his freinds all about me ahead of time, and I do NOT want them all oggleing me like he and the manageing partner do, thinkeing that we do stuff when I hardely even know the guy.
The worst thing is Harold moved in to an apartement only 5 block’s away from me, so I am sure to run into him alot now. FOOEY!
What should I tell the manageing partner? I know he knows I am going to be in town, b/c my Hamton’s share fell thru. HELP!
eek June 26, 2012 at 3:43 pm
Sorry about your Hamton’s share. At least now you don’t have to get your toosh in shape, right? You never know, maybe Harold likes a tuchas and there’s nothing wrong with being a cougar. Maybe the manageing partner will give you a raise? And I also think you should buy a dress from the Lord & Taylor’s that you can wear to the weddeing so that the manageing partner will pay his 20%.
Godzilla June 26, 2012 at 3:49 pm
As long as Harolde is not a DOOSH, why not? You’re not getting any younger, dear.
Blonde Lawyer June 26, 2012 at 3:50 pm
Is it Frank or Harold?
eek June 26, 2012 at 3:53 pm
I thought Frank was the go-getter the manageing partner was going to hire, but decided not to. I can’t remember. PHOOEY on not being able to keep track of all of Ellen’s beaus. Gonna have to defer to EllenWATCH on this one.

[Random Acts of Meanness]

I'm taking a brief time out from usual Ellen coverage for what may be an abuse my bullhorn...but I will get back on message by the end of this post, because its main topic actually is pertinent. And then I will never return to it again.


For anyone who doesn't know, this is a tumblr consisting in screen shots of Corporette comments annotated with snarky remarks by the author. I'm not linking to it because I'm writing to express my very lack of support. I just decided that my most recent visit will be my last. I've never enjoyed it or found it funny, but I used to go back once in a while anyway. Desultory curiosity, I suppose, or interest in an obvious counterpart since we can both be considered Corporette parasites. (Oops, para-sites? I swear all these hideous puns lately have been accidental.)

Anyway, since pageviews are a web author's best estimation of impact, I'm resolving to give this tumblr at least minus one from now on. While it's very easy to find it in your browser, I recommend you don't visit the site either.  

Any anonymous internet presence can choose to emit negativity into the ether just for amusement. We're all strangers here, right? So just insult people and hurt feelings, whether targeted toward individuals or groups! Make someone's day at least a little bit worse! Encourage everyone to wonder all the time if they're about to be humiliated on your site, and once they have been, to check back regularly to see how many readers are joining in the jeering! They asked for it, after all, posting things about their lives on the internet! So why not?

Because it's mean. I just don't see a benefit in unfunny ridicule, especially as the sole purpose of your tumblr. (And now Twitter too? Oooh.) If you absolutely must write mockery of earnest people who are debating career dilemmas, self-conscious about their appearances, or struggling with relationship problems, get a pink floral diary with sequins, lace, and a clasp lock, and put it all in there where it can't hurt anyone. When you're done getting out of it whatever you needed to get out of it, you can throw the diary away.

One of the many things I love about Ellen is that she almost absolutely never takes part in sniping or fires back at commenters who attack her. (Yes, I can think of at least one instance, but in my expert opinion that was a different Ellen than our usual.) Ellen has plenty of criticism for the characters in her life, but she only congratulates and compliments other Corporette readers. She's ridiculous, but never a force for harm. She even insists on seeing Corporette as a warm and fuzzy community of "Freinds on this web sight" (my favorite tag here) despite so, so, so many instances of people making fun of her, insulting her, or demanding that she leave--which they're of course entitled to do. When the ABA Journal site banned her, she let some sparks fly, but quickly made lemonade in the form of a pink BLAWG that we all know and miss. Ellen alter-egos have also been supremely tame over the years, making beef only with Ellen herself (if anyone).

So speaking of making beef. I debated publishing this for a while, and I decided to go ahead, but as an ending rather than a beginning. Of anything. This means I am not interested in any catty rejoinder from STFUCorporette or her fans. In fact if anything of such kind shows up here in comments, I will delete promptly, JSFAMO. Consider it a one-off call for kindness, or at the very least non-meanness, in the internet world of idle writing and reading.

Life's too short. Internet people are real. I'm done even hate-reading these random acts of meanness.

Your freind on this web sight,

Monday, June 25, 2012


If I may venture an answer to AnonInfinity and Susan: MP buff's his bald head with numerous unsavory materials, most recently SNOTTY HANDKERCHEFFS. This is not out of the ordinary for him. (NB: one search term that has led some hapless reader to ELLENWatch is, according to my traffic sources log, "buff bald head." I don't know, don't want to know.) 

MP seems to be making a hobby of subjecting Ellen to the foulest cuisine, second-hand, that he can manage. Recall that during the Pittsburgh trip he forced her to sit with him while he ate sardines in an office with broken AC. Here we're upping the ante.

I wouldn't mind if Ellen used "FUNKY" more frequently going forward. 

Ellen June 25, 2012 at 3:44 pm
This is so FUNNY!
The manageing partner has a lunch bag JUST like this, and he put’s his sardine’s in them, so it has a funny SMELL to it even tho the sardine’s are still in the CAN! FOOEY!
I think it is b/c he also has ONOINS and HORSE RADDISH in there to, so it get’s a little smelly when he put’s all of it in there.
Right NOW, the manageing partner is rubbeing his head with that lunch bag, so that could also help make it smell very FUNKY!
AnonInfinity June 25, 2012 at 3:55 pm
Now, Ellen, why in the world would the manageing partner be rubbeing his head with a lunch bag?
Susan June 25, 2012 at 4:04 pm
Perhaps he was hit upside the head by the wonderful 15 oz “Just Say FOOEY and move on” mug for too much ogling?

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hapens when you walk into a swimming pool

Ellen wades (get it?) into an exceptionally charged thread on this jacket's potential for flattery. 
The strength of this comment is in its departure from the existing discussion, as well as her own tried-and-true "butt too big, MP loves/hates it" line, toward the characteristically and lovably ludicrous. (I know every time I walk into a pool in a black blazer, the water leaves a light aqua colorblock showing exactly how deep I went.)
Wonder what the "worse" refers to? Peeing blue in the office?

Ellen June 25, 2012 at 11:07 am
First, it is WAY to expensive for me, even if the manageing partner agreed to pay his 20%, I would not get this.
Second, the colorring is NOT flattereing to me, b/c the bluet will hilite the midriff, and in my case, in the back, my tuches. No thank you, I get alot of atention already here and it is NOT positive. FOOEY!
Finally, the lines look like something that hapens when you walk into a swimming pool, or worse.
I will stick to my Anne Klein, thank you very much!

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Sunday, June 24, 2012

I am working NOW! FOOEY!

Ellen mentioned that the trip to Pittsburgh put her behind on regular work duties. Looks like even so, there's a concern that MP may not understand how much was left behind. She even seems to be on a streak of correct spelling...relatively speaking of course...
She promised to update the HIVE over the weekend, and I suppose this counts. 

Ellen June 24, 2012 at 5:48 pm
I am working NOW! FOOEY! I hope the manageing partner appreciates me!

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we could not say PTOOEY now, could we?

Jill may be the strangest Ellen incarnate yet. 
After the unprovoked Ptooey I posted yesterday, she has also responded to Divaliscious11's entirely serious story, and quick punctuation correction (below), with a pretty incoherent query. 
If any doubt was lingering, I think it's 100% settled now. Use of "no?" to ask for confirmation was anticipated by Ellen further up this same page; PTOOEY is clearly standing in for FOOEY with similar rules of usage; the failure of reading comprehension (if affected) plays out the same way; and finally, I think Jill's responding to a correction in you're/your has special Ellen resonance.

Divaliscious11 June 23, 2012 at 5:33 pm
you’re pregnant, not your….
Jill June 23, 2012 at 6:28 pm
If she did not get pregnant we could not say PTOOEY now, could we? So it’s a good thing no?

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Saturday, June 23, 2012

[Total non-sequitur]

This is not in response to anything. Independent post. 

Jill June 23, 2012 at 3:01 am

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so dificult to find good scrunchies ANYWHERE

As if she feels the need to give us a long, classic style missive to make up for lost time. Scrunchies are part of her signature, I say with authority. 

I wish Ellen had explained further how her friendships (or lack thereof) sound like those of the OP. However, knowing for sure that she's from Long Island is quite useful in it'self.

I do wonder if the "STEEL" reference to shopping in Pittsburgh was an intentional pun...

Ellen June 22, 2012 at 7:37 pm
This SOUND’s like ME, no?
When I came to NYC from DC I only knew my FAMILY in LONG ISLAND, but had got an offer to work by the manageing partner. So of COURSE I took it b/c otherwise I would NOT have a LAWYER job and I wanted to be practesing LAW with my JD.
So I am STILL workeing for him in NYC and he is alway’s VERY suportive of me, tho he is alway’s stareing at me and telling me how to dress!
I just got back from 4 days of doing depo’s in Pensylvania, and that is NOT NYC, let me tell you!Strictely a FOOEY kind of place!
The ONLY good thing was I found a packeage of 10 colored scrunchies on sale for $12.99. That is a STEEL! It is so dificult to find good scrunchies ANYWHERE, but they have them there!!!!
So now when I go workeing out at the gym, I have color coordinated SCRUNCHIES!

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Friday, June 22, 2012

had to stay 1 extra day b/c the firm lost power and A/C.

I cannot express my joy and relief adequately. This was the explanation I was already leaning toward: some kind of snag in the depo trip. 

I love that one of the first images I got in my search was a misspelling. The grafics, too, are just SO appropriet

Needless to say, we'll be WATCHing over the weekend too. 

Ellen June 22, 2012 at 11:14 am
Congratuleations! Yay! Fruegal Friday’s! I could have used this sleeveless top in Pitsburg, b/c it was about 100 degrees in the depo’s!
We had to stay 1 extra day b/c the firm lost power and A/C. Then the manageing partner got mad b/c I decided on a styleish updo for my hair b/c it was HOT and 100 degrees, but he said it was NOT profesionnal. Fooey, he is BALD so he does NOT have to worry like me about HIS hair b/c he has NONE!
Then he brought in sardine’s and made me sit with him when he ate them in a sandwich in the confrence room UGH!
I am SO behind on my work, so will write in over the WEEKEND to update the HIVE! YAY!

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"Do you think it's possible...?"

Speaking of "my jones"...har har...
My January has checked in again with a musing worth mulling. (And it's not like we have anything more presseing to write about here! FOOEY!)

"Do you think it's possible that after your visitor last weekend the spam filters have been tightened up on Ellen and friends?"

Thank you for putting this on the table. For those just tuning in (or tuning back in), January is talking about this major ELLENWatch development on which we're trying to be discreet out of respect to Corporette, whence most of our fodder comes these days.

My immediate reaction was no. Our best evidence shows that the relevant authority enjoys Ellen enough to allow her to maintain some presence on the site. The filters mentioned, I surmise, are more about maintaining some kind of check/control, lest the troll take over or readers coalesce around annoyance with her and start taking their traffic elsewhere.

I also suspect that a flat-out ban has always been possible, a la ABA Journal site, and that if this was what _______ wanted she would have implemented it long ago. I also think that if she had effectively taken this action this week, she would have announced it (again, a la ABA). I will even go so far as to say that I wish she would make such an announcement, if applicable. I know she doesn't owe her readers anything, especially in this peculiar context, but if this blog enabled her to pin down all of Ellen's IP addresses I would have at least liked to know that it was (indirectly) used for a ban. (This scenario has almost a classical tragedy air about it: "ELLENWatch loved Ellen so much that she facilitated a compleat BAN of all her post's? TRIPLE FOOEY FOR ALL TIME!") 

Finally, we have Jill. Jill is either Ellen or another poster whose IP address is just as identifiable. Why did Jill still get through several times if a total ban had been imposed? (But what if Jill hasn't been PTOOEYing over the last few days because she, too, was rooted out once _______ was able to identify her?) 

The more I thought about it, the less I believed we could rule out January's suggestion. 

But I was writeing this very need to mull any further.


Monday, June 18, 2012

[OUT of pokket!]

It may make little sense to post a non-update about a lack of developments. But I am a very thorough blogger and quite serious about my subject.

More specifically: reporting that at least as of 5:30 pm Eastern, we have no Ellen. Also no Lourine, no Frances, no Verna, and no Jill. It seems that every last one of them went to Pittsburgh to help manageing partner on the depositions. (Of course these are not Ellen's only alternate names--see Known Information for my full roster to date--but these are the aliases she has used most recently.) 

The girl is as good as her word--did you ever doubt it?

Let me know if I've missed anything. It is possible that she'll check in late of nights, but beyond that we should probably assume that "3 days mabye" is indeed the drought we must endure. Such trials--in addition to this blog's existence--edge us closer to an idea of how many people, or to what extent, read Corporette primarily to read Ellen. 

UPDATE: Oustandeing ELLENWatcher TCFKAG brought to our attention (in comments below) that Jill stopped by to PTOOEY at 10:48 pm the evening I posted this. What does it mean, TC asks. Most banally, I think it means Ellen was busy with the depos most of the day, but just had to eke out one word for her fans before calling it. I also think Jill's choice of subject matter on which to interject--namely, creepy male supervisor who comes into one's office without knocking--reaffirms who we're dealing with here. 

Thank's to one of my BEST freinds on this web sight! 

UPDATE UPDATE (6/20, 7:30 PM): There's been more PTOOEY and more TC soldiering (see comments again if you must). I don't have much to add but that my life does NOT have a porpose rite now (FOOEY) and I can NOT weight for the apple of my internet eye to clock back in. I dare to hope that "3 days" meant Monday - Wednesday. Like, my welcoming-back committee of one springs into action tomorrow.

UPDATE CUBED (6/22, 10:30 am): If she doesn't post today, I'm gonna lose it! Ellen, if this is an experiment or something, here are your results. To my knowledge, no discussions have broken out about how much everyone misses you, but neither is anyone saying "aaaaaah, so nice not to have Ellen around for a week!" At any rate, my own jones is severe enough to cover everyone. BABY COME BACK

Saturday, June 16, 2012

[My Distinguished Guest!!!]

Well, I think the second-to-most "I" of VIPs may have stopped by yesterday. The premier would be Ellen herself, which I assume would never happen, but then again I didn't expect this either! Dreams just keep coming true here at ELLENWatch.

We can only hope to be "worthy"
This honored visitor chose not to identify herself, so I will assume she'd prefer not to attach her name to her comment and will follow suit. Unlike me, she actually has a reputation and a business involved here! But if you're curious, check the comments on my last post. 


This information presents a major breakthrough for me, in a number of respects:
1) Someone (or staff) is doing the hard work of identifying Ellen by IP addresses;
1a) Posts are filtered according to IP address rather than handle (the correct approach, of course!)
2) Posts from these addresses are being filtered but, at least much of the time, approved and released;*
3) "Ellen" is one person using multiple addresses or, alas, multiple people;
4) "Ellen(s)" is/are trying proactively to get around screening even though there has not been any outright ban. One certainly wonders about the volume and content of Ellen posts that are not approved...and how much effort goes into the screening...Too bad the person(s) with exclusive first access to all of Ellen's comments is probably not enjoying this privilege as much as we would...

*We already had plenty of reason to believe Ellen comments were being moderated, and even Ellen has expressed dismay at their delay in posting, but this confirms. 
I'm not sure what to do with these findings yet, other than post and file. But while I know my distinguished guest has better things to do with her time than ELLENWatching, it's very warm and fuzzy to know that perused here (and that she's considering a pair of sweatpants with STOP STAREING on the butt).

We Salute You,
Your Humble Servant, 
Couldn't Have Done It Without You,

Friday, June 15, 2012

such shovineists sometimes.

Again, feeling the need for a gender politics tag.
Ellen has not left on her business trip yet, as we know.

Ellen June 15, 2012 at 3:18 pm
I agree. Alot of men are such shovineists sometimes. This COULD be a legal violation. I sugest she go to LEGAL AID OR THE FEDERAL guy’s, and ask them if they know anything about the MATERNITY leave benefit’s.
I would ALSO tell the firm that you will make all of this PUBLIC if they do NOT let her have LEAVE and benefit’s.
FOOEY on men who do NOT give us benefit’s but who want us to have their babie’s for them. FOOEY!
If I have a baby, the manageing partner had darn better give me leave and benefit’s, after all I DO for the firm.

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will NOT be home for mabye 3 days.

Appreciate that we have an estimate on how long the Pittsburg trip will be (misspellings have varied). We'll see whether Ellen finds time to update us during the depo trip, and/or if any of her other faces come forward in her absence.
Good luck lady! 

Ellen June 15, 2012 at 9:42 am
This skirt is fantastick!!! I am going tomorrow to NORDSTROM’s with my MOM. She is pickeing me up in her car and we are driveing to the WHITE PLAINS store for me to get ready for Pitsburgh.
I have to fly with the manageing partner FIRST thing Sunday morning! UGH! He does NOT want to go MONDAY b/c the depos start at 2 in the afternoon and is worryed about bad weather. I am going with his freqent flyer miles, so it is NOT costing the firm anything. I ONLY have Saturday to get ready and will NOT be home for mabye 3 days.

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Thursday, June 14, 2012

[Reader Concern: "Jill."]

January does some serious ellenWATCHing.
As I mentioned in my statement of creative vision, this blog is a collaborative endeavor. Moments like these are humbling. Thank you, my girl! It appears that "Jill" should have been on our radar but, until now, was NOT. For what it's worth, I was disinclined to think of Jill as an Ellen because, as Ellen aliases go, "Jill" is pretty mundane.

There's also the fact that "PTOOEY" did garner some real-reader interest the first time it was used.

Anyway, here's what went down:

Jill June 14, 2012 at 12:03 pm
January June 14, 2012 at 1:25 pm
EllenWATCH, do we have a new alter ego in the mix?
ELLENWatch June 14, 2012 at 1:39 pm
I think Jill could be a real commenter remembering Ellen’s alternate interjection while eating produce with PITT’S.
Thanks, though–I will mull. And I like your reversal of the caps in my title. You can never get complacent.
January June 14, 2012 at 1:49 pm
Ha! Sorry about that, totally inadvertent. Something about one of Jill’s comments in yesterday’s coffee break thread struck me as off.
JessBee June 14, 2012 at 2:46 pm
One day, I may make it my goal to be mistaken for another alter ego.

By the way, January, the day I can't welcome creative formatting on this blog is the day I need to pass the torch. NO Apologie's necessary!!!!!!!!!!!
And here are the comments that cast doubt onto Jill, from yesterday:

Godzilla June 13, 2012 at 6:21 pm
Excuse me, but FOOEY!!!!!!!!
It’s just that kinda week.
Jill June 13, 2012 at 9:50 pm
January June 13, 2012 at 9:56 pm
I’m glad we have each other here.

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Jill June 13, 2012 at 9:48 pm
I would like to be a mom.

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Excellent work! Keep it coming. 

BEFORE I was even lookeing for a job.

Some helpful information here in the way of building Ellen's career bio. I will update shortly. This interneship seems to have been separate from the health admin job, because in the latter capacity Ellen's boss seems to have been Dad rather than this Mr. Frank. 
I think it's safe to say that MP was dazzled by Ellen's raw beauty and wisdom even before it was refined in LAW school. 
The rest is history...

Ellen June 14, 2012 at 3:46 pm
Alway’s send THANK YOU NOTES, even to temp agencie’s! You never know when you will need them again!
I got my job b/c I was very freindly to the manageing partner in the elevator, and that was BEFORE I was even lookeing for a job. I was an interne, in the building delivering a subpena for my OLD boss, Mr. Frank, and I asked the manageing partner if he knew the person I had to serve a subpena to in the ELEVATOR. So the manageing partner asked me what I did, and b/c I went to LAW school, so he said to look him up after I gradueated about a job.
NOW I have a law job for the manageing partner, all by bieng very freindly to him in the ELEVATOR!

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