I have a question. My BF wants to buy us a package of 6 courtside tickets for the Knicks for Christmas, but I really don’t really care that much about basketball. I go to the games b/c he likes to but really, I could care less about watching the game. How can I tell him not to spend this money on the tickets; I would prefer he not buy me anything then waste the money on these tickets; he is temping and not making much money, but he thinks that he needs to impress me. I really don’t care. How can I tell him this without embarasing him. I have a good job and am making money, but he is not making much money. If he saves money, he can eventuelly get me a better gift, mabye next year. Any ideas would be apreaciated.
November 23, 2010 at 10:02 pm
- This is a tough one. I have solved a similar problem in the past – when my husband wanted to get me an expensive gift I really didn’t want – by taking the approach of “hey honey, let’s just keep it simple this year.” It helps if there’s a mutual goal you can create that you want to save money for, like a trip or something for the household. One year, my husband wanted to get me a new laptop, which I didn’t want or need – I suggested that we do a simpler Christmas so we could save money for a trip to Europe we were planning. Actually, since then we have tried to keep Christmas simple – we spend less than $100 on each other – and put the money towards something we both want to get. You can try that, and see if it works. Otherwise you may have to try the more direct approach – which, trust me, is way better than him finding out at the game or afterwards that you didn’t care about getting the tickets, especially if buying them will be a stretch for him.
- Thank you. I appreciate your view and will try it.
November 24, 2010 at 1:53 pm
- Is it possible that he really wants the tickets, and is helping to justify the expense by making it a “let’s go together/date night” thing? If so, you could encourage him to buy the tickets for himself and/or one of his close sports enthusiast friends. Be honest with him that you aren’t really interested, while also letting him know that it is perfectly fine for him to go with a friend. Then suggest something else that you can both enjoy together, like a commitment to have a date night with dinner and a movie every Thursday.This sends the message that you appreciate his offer, you really do want to spend time with him, but that he shouldn’t feel obligated to take you to the games just because they are expensive.I would shy away from making any judgments about where he should spend his money for his own entertainment. That often backfires, especially with someone who is a big fan of a sport or other hobby. If he loves basketball, he’ll probably make it a priority to go to games even when money is tight. We all make decisions like that. For some of us, we’re never too poor for new shoes :-)
Read more: http://corporette.com/2010/11/23/suit-of-the-week-theory/#ixzz1sX69v63e
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