ELLENWatch: 2010

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Alan swears he will NEVER by me clothes again.

Ellen December 23, 2010 at 1:09 pm

These sweaters make me look FAT. Last year, Alan gave me a red SWEATER and I looked like Santa Claus. Hideous!!!

I gave it away to the Salvation ARMY and the guy there said he would wear it.

Can you IMAGINE?

Anyways, I want a SILK sweater that has blue and white HORIZONTEL stripes.

Does anyone know where I can buy one? Alan swears he will NEVER by me clothes again.

I don’t care as long as he gets me a RING.

kellyn December 23, 2010 at 1:30 pm

What, no mention that he is BALD?

Merry Christmas, Elan. You’re a wonderful gift to all of us Corporette readers :)

K December 23, 2010 at 1:47 pm

Kellyn: I don’t think Alan is BALD, it it Ellen’s BOSS who is BALD and has BAD BREATH. Please, try to keep facts STRAIGHT. :)

kellyn December 23, 2010 at 3:24 pm: Haha well, it SEEMS I have my facts WRONG again.

PHOOEY.

Reply

Anon in DC December 23, 2010 at 2:02 pm

I am still looking for the hidden messages in the CAPITALIZED words.

FAT SWEATER ARMY IMAGINE SILK HORIZONTAL NEVER RING

R.S. December 23, 2010 at 2:57 pm

“Ellen” is not real. This is a character/troll who comments on tons of legal blogs, and has always formatted his/her comments this way.

S/he was banned from commenting on the ABA’s online articles and blog posts a little over a year ago. I had not realized until today that “Ellen” had discovered Corporette.

S/he can be amusing at first, but her comments will inevitabley become completely innane. Furthermore since “Ellen” is not a legitmate individual who wants to contribute honest impressions to the Corporette community, and is merely doing this for kicks, I think Kat should keep a very careful eye on these posts.

Kat and all of the readers here have great community going, with lots of sincere honest advice for professional women, and I hate to see it ruined by trolls who have run out of other blogs to invade.

Anon for this December 23, 2010 at 3:19 pm: R.S., I am a regular commenter here and a lawyer, and I have no problem with the crap that “Ellen” posts. It’s harmless, silly, and yes, a troll. But guess what? It’s not spam, and it’s not offensive. Once we start banning commenters because their posts are not “honest impressions” or productive contributions, it’s a slippery slope to a place where I wouldn’t be interested in participating. I realize that free speech rights do not apply to blogs, but I think it’s silly to decide to block someone because they annoy you or because their posts offend some nebulous standard that you’ve conceived for this blog’s commenters.
kellyn December 23, 2010 at 3:27 pm: Oh, see, I now look forward to the little oasis of silliness that Ellen provides in my otherwise mundane day. I love reading this blog and have gotten some amazing and caring advice from it, but sometimes we just need some PHOOEY in our days.
R.S. December 23, 2010 at 3:36 pm: I agree, and I’m not suggesting that Kat should ban “Ellen” (not yet, anyway). However, it’s also a slipperly slope from having one or two “novelty commenters” to having a blog that’s become so innundated with trolls and their shennanigans that no one wants to read the comments or contribute anything insightful anymore (e.g. does anyone read the comments on Above the Law anymore?).

I say this only because Corporette is one of the few blogs where trolls have not taken over, and where I still actively read the comments because their quality is very good and resourceful.

Anon December 23, 2010 at 1:34 pm

I think HORIZONTAL stripes will just make your BODICE look bigger, dear Ellen…

Ru December 23, 2010 at 2:18 pm: Priceless…

Reply
Anon December 23, 2010 at 2:22 pm: And then her BOSS who is BALD and has BAD BREATH will just STARE at her all day!

Reply

eaopm3 December 23, 2010 at 1:37 pm

I’m just going to pretend you are real, except ignore all of the annoying stuff.

http://www.bluefly.com/Haute-Hippie-navy-striped-silk-cotton-v-neck-tunic-sweater/cat20188/309217801/detail.fly?referer=ca_froogle&cm_mmc=ca_froogle-_-na-_-womens_sweaters-_-309217801&PROMO=promo970009&mr:trackingCode=45946FCD-A5BA-DF11-98FF-0019B9C043EB&mr:referralID=NA

Here’s the sweater you requested.

AD December 23, 2010 at 1:41 pm

Love it – kudos to you, eaopm3!

Did you pass up this one because maybe Alan couldn’t AFFORD it?
http://www.saksfifthavenue.com/main/ProductDetail.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524446385609&afsrc=1&site_refer=GGLBASE001&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=ParentItem0451143222130

Anone December 23, 2010 at 1:57 pm

The belt on that dress is crazy awesome.

eaopm3 December 23, 2010 at 2:04 pm

Haha, I didn’t even see that one when I googled it. However, that might be a little too RISQUE for Ellen’s BALD BAD BREATH BOSS. Lol.

Nonny December 23, 2010 at 2:29 pm: Hee hee, BALD BAD BREATH BOSS. Love it.

Ru December 23, 2010 at 2:18 pm

Beautiful dress!

Anon December 23, 2010 at 2:27 pm

Merry Christmas, TrollBoy.

EggNog?

eg December 23, 2010 at 2:39 pm: You are cracking me up! MERRY CHRISTMAS to Kat, all Corprettes and Elan and her BALD BAD BREATH BOSS.

Reply

Bonnie December 23, 2010 at 2:59 pm

Maybe you can wear those CORSETS Alan gave you underneath.

kellyn December 23, 2010 at 3:26 pm

ON her bodice?

Bonnie December 23, 2010 at 3:46 pm

Underneath the SWEATER so she doesn’t look FAT like Santa Claus.

Anonymous December 23, 2010 at 3:48 pm: But what about the TEDDY? If she can’t wear it with the sweater, then FOOEY.

MC December 23, 2010 at 7:34 pm

This whole thread makes me smile :)

he would be getting cheap gifts from CVS.

Ellen December 23, 2010 at 1:17 pm

When I was in college, 3 guys all gave me jewelery and I was not even sleeping with any one of them. It was strictley casual. So you should NOT feel guilty if you take his gift because HE obviousely likes you alot. If he didn’t he would be getting cheap gifts from CVS.

My sister did not even get a gift from her boyfriend and they WERE sleeping together. Go figure.

Be gratful that your b/f thinks enough of you to get you something decent. And if your still together at Valentine’s day, you can give him something special. Use your imagination. I do and when I do, my Alan loves it.

Anon December 23, 2010 at 1:33 pm

So, your sister was sleeping with her boyfriend and didn’t even get a GIFT? That probably means she will NEVER get a RING from him.

AD December 23, 2010 at 1:37 pm

Phooey! No RING?

Preggo Angie December 23, 2010 at 2:13 pm: Sad confession: I actually used the word “phooey” this morning when I realized I didn’t wash the sweater I wanted to wear! I think it’s a combo of it circling around my head lately and me trying to clean up my language as Kiddo #1 is picking up more and more words.

K December 23, 2010 at 1:43 pm

I hope it was GOOD jewelry, not CHEAP stuff.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

VERY jelous of the men that would be stareing at me

Heads-up to the tip on "Alma" mentioned below. Theories continue to proliferate.

Ellen December 22, 2010 at 11:28 am

I absoluely LOVE this dress, but it looks to much like the teddy Alan gave me for my birthday.

I am SURE that Alan would questioning me if I wore this to work and he would be VERY jelous of the men that would be stareing at me if I wore this. As it is, the manageing partner takes any excuse whatsoever to come look over my shoulder (and he is BALD and has bad breath – ugh).

I do not want to give him an excuse to breath on me. Gross.

osa December 22, 2010 at 11:37 am

Oh Ellen, your teddy sounds soooo boring.

CSF December 22, 2010 at 11:41 am: I agree! Way too much fabric for a teddy!

Reply

Ru December 22, 2010 at 11:43 am

What I want to know is why the word BALD is always capitalized? WHY? FOOEY!!!!

lawyerette December 22, 2010 at 11:48 am

I love to read Ellen’s posts by only reading the capitalized words.

LOVE SURE VERY BALD

RR December 22, 2010 at 12:08 pm

Awesome! Coded messages in troll posts.

kng December 22, 2010 at 1:20 pm: nice!!

Reply

yes! December 22, 2010 at 1:19 pm

Add punctuation and it’s even better!

“Love? Sure! Very Bald. :( “

lawyerette December 22, 2010 at 1:24 pm: LMAO – that’s awesome :)

Reply

Anon December 22, 2010 at 1:31 pm

I do the same thing! Makes his/her posts even more entertaining!

MC December 22, 2010 at 6:44 pm

lol!

meme December 22, 2010 at 12:22 pm

some have suggested Ellen is a computer program, but I disagree. I think a computer would use better spelling and grammar. I stand by my original opinion that Ellen is Alan, some weird guy.

Erin M. December 22, 2010 at 12:27 pm

I’m beginning to suspect Ellen is Alan’s blowup doll. It kind of gives me the skeeves.

Anon December 22, 2010 at 12:35 pm

Yes! Like that movie where Ryan Gosling dates a blow-up doll and all of his friends and family play along because they think he is psychologically unstable. Hysterical.

Jay December 22, 2010 at 3:46 pm: I love that movie. When she gets a job as a mannequin….it is so priceless.
Lola December 22, 2010 at 4:06 pm: That’s such a great movie. Lars and the Real Girl. :)

AccountingNerd December 22, 2010 at 12:45 pm

“Ellen’s” comments are starting to creep me out.

Ha ha December 22, 2010 at 12:36 pm

I go back and forth, but I am beginning to agree with you. I also think Alan is BALD and has bad BREATH.

I would also buy someone’s suggestion that it is a man with the initials L.N.

Mrs K December 22, 2010 at 2:33 pm

I agree with this – I thought the AI computer theory was interesting, and grammar issues I could overlook as a programming issue, but the spelling errors resolve this one for me. No way is a computer going to make the spelling mistakes that appear in this post.

Preego Angie December 22, 2010 at 12:39 pm

Be CAREFUL Ellen, you don’t want to wear a nice teddy and accidentally get KNOCKED UP before you get MARRIED. Then you would be RUINED.

Sorry, I’m super bored and couldn’t help myself! :)

K December 22, 2010 at 12:48 pm

LOL. :)

stc December 22, 2010 at 1:37 pm: spelled too correctly! but other than that, PERFECT.

Reply

Janie December 22, 2010 at 2:02 pm

Your managing PARTNER wouldn’t want you then, even if you overlooked his BALDness and BAD BREATH. :)

Anon December 22, 2010 at 2:39 pm

Preego Angie, I think I love you!

UnSub December 22, 2010 at 11:04 pm

Hey Angie,

I think you mean – “Be careful Ellen, you don’t WANT to wear a nice teddy and accidentally GET knocked up…” Your capitalizations made way too much sense. :)

eaopm3 December 22, 2010 at 12:46 pm

My thought – an ATL reader, male law student, to whom we are giving too much credit for being sneaky.

jcb December 22, 2010 at 2:00 pm

Most likely you’re right. One of the comments from yesterday actually made me kind of sad – picturing this lonely, scrawny little guy, alone in a darkened room, the only light emanating from his computer screen, avidly reading the comments on a women’s fashion blog …

Ann December 22, 2010 at 2:20 pm

Either that or some 300-lb pasty-white IT guy in a sweaty Star Wars t-shirt, who spends his entire day ogling the women at work who would never, ever talk to him.

EG December 22, 2010 at 6:29 pm: Hey…I work in IT, and I am not fat & I don’t wear t-shirts!

gov anon December 22, 2010 at 4:27 pm

I’ve always gotten the feeling that Ellen/Alan/LN has spent way too much of his life in his mother’s basement.

Anonny December 22, 2010 at 5:13 pm

I’ll come out of lurk-dom with an FYI: There’s an “Alma” who posts on BitterLawyer about all of the men in her workplace who hit on her excessively because she’s so beautiful. FOOEY on them seems to be a trend…

Anonymous December 22, 2010 at 6:14 pm: Definitely. See comment 11 here: http://www.bitterlawyer.com/index.php/site/columns_detail_comment/i_want_a_biglaw_boob_job/?cat_id=2

Reply
Janie December 22, 2010 at 10:06 pm: This person has wayyy too much time on his/her/its hands.

Reply

AD December 22, 2010 at 2:03 pm

I am SO laughing at this thread today!

associate December 22, 2010 at 3:48 pm: Ditto. LOL. Strangest troll ever, but points for entertainment. I don’t understand it at all.

Reply

Rachel December 22, 2010 at 4:08 pm

Perhaps Allen bought Ellen the less revealing teddy so he/she wouldn’t have to shave his/her back again? It that case, it was really very thoughtful of him!