ELLENWatch: 2011

Friday, December 30, 2011

I had to get the building SUPER to eviect him.

This was in response to a commenter discussing a domestic violence issue. I agree that it shows poor taste.

Ellen December 30, 2011 at 3:44 pm

When I told ALAN to leave, he was DRUNK, and I had to get the building SUPER to eviect him. That is NOT the same as the police but it was embarasing to me b/c my whole building heard him when the SUPER ejected him.

Anon December 30, 2011 at 5:51 pm: Ellen or fake Ellen, it’s one thing to post things like this in certain topics but entirely inappropriate to do so in threads dealing with serious sensitive issues. I know some people are tired of your shtick, but if you are going to continue doing it at least be respectful.

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Thursday, December 29, 2011

very Impressed with them.

Ellen seems to have been particularly warm toward K in NYC.

Ellen says:

12/29/2011 at 10:27 pm

Your VERY welcome. Us NYC Corporetes have to stick together, especialy if one knows some thing that another does NOT. I get good advice here and then give good advice, when I know about the subject. The people here are VERY smart, and I am very Impressed with them.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

just get PEOPLE magazine.

I'm including the comment that inspired her this time simply because it reflects the gulf between real commenters' reading level and that of Ellen.

AnonInfinity December 27, 2011 at 11:24 am

Does anyone here subscribe to the Harvard Business Review?

The online version is $20 more than the print version. Does anyone know what the “online only” content is and whether it’s worth the extra?

Ellen December 27, 2011 at 11:35 am: Alan had a supscription to this magazine, and I NEVER looked at it, so I would VOTE that it is NOT worth it. FOOEY!

Mabye if you get it ONLINE, you can access it from an IPHONE, then it would be better, b/c you would not have to wait for it to come in the MAIL.

Otherwise, I say just get PEOPLE magazine. I will read that.

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Monday, December 26, 2011

and I Dated Fooey man Alan, a CPA.

Ellen December 26, 2011 at 10:12 pm

You have to know youre margeinal tax rate, and then see if taking it down by $2.5K will take you down to the lower margeinal rate, but even if it does not, you will still pay tax on $2500 less income, and if you are in NYC and you have any meaneingful income, that should translate into at least a cash flow saveings of about $10K, or 40% after Fed, State and NYC taxes are considered.

I was NOT the #1 person in Corporete Tax for NOTHING! and I Dated Fooey man Alan, a CPA. As he used to say, go for it, woman, you have the POWER!!!!!!

CAN you beleive it?

Ellen December 26, 2011 at 12:39 am

I went to the Matzo Ball in NY City last night and 4 men were after me to date them! CAN you beleive it? I gave 2 of them my DIGIT’S.

No more ALAN for me! FOOEY on him!

Saturday, December 24, 2011

get All kinds of CLE credit!!!!

Ellen says:

12/24/2011 at 3:44 pm

I have an Important Thread-Jack:

The manageing partner wants me to go with him to a legal conference in Boca Raton in February. He is SPEAKING there, so Ican get in FREE, and get All kinds of CLE credit!!!!

I REALLY also want to get away, b/c it will probabely be very COLD here in NYC by then–but I do NOT want to have to spend 3 days with HIM!

Is there a WAY to go, GET the CLE, but NOT have to put up with his stareing at me and his bad breathe for 3 days? Has any one of you done this and how do you do it without getting into TROUBLE?

I do NOT know any one down there, but just want to chill w/o having him hovering over me alot when I am down there.

K in NYC says:

12/24/2011 at 6:04 pm

it sounds like you can do 1 of 3 things…

1. Ask him casually if he thinks there will be time for you to get away or if you’ll be at the event the entire time. Mention that you have some loved ones there whom you’d love to see but you understand work comes first. That’ll get you your answer. (And “loved ones” can mean sand and sun and ocean, so it’s not dishonest)

If he says it’s conference the entire time or makes it clear there’s no time you can get away:

2. Go for the credit and whatnot, grin, bear it, and try to network there to find people to chat with in the hotel lobby restaurant or whatnot so it’s not just the two of you the entire trip.

3. Tell him you appreciate the offer, would have loved to have gone, hope he considers you in the future, but you have x,y,z things to do that have to take priority.
- Alanna of Trebond says:
  
  12/24/2011 at 9:00 pm
  
  K, I love that you are giving serious answers to Ellen! :-)
  - K in NYC says:
    
    12/24/2011 at 9:57 pm
    
    throws hands up… see how much free time I have?!
- Ellen says:
  
  12/25/2011 at 12:38 am
  
  Thank you, K–We are BOTH in New York City and probabley have alot in common as young Urban Professional lawyers! Have a WONDERFUL holiday. I think I will have to stick with #1. Thank you for your sage advise!
  - K in NYC says:
    
    12/25/2011 at 7:49 pm
    
    hope you’re doing something fun today, I’m in Astoria and finding nothing open (was going to order delivery food) :)

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Alan wears these!

Clearly this was a traumatic image.

Ellen December 22, 2011 at 3:34 pm

Fooey on these! Alan wears these! Fooey! Every time I see these I think of him! FOOEY!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

I perfer to get a “Virgin Mary”

Ellen December 20, 2011 at 10:56 am

I perfer to get a “Virgin Mary” when I go out, particularly for work luncheons with the manageing partner. It looks like a real drink, but there is NO alchohol in it, so I do NOT get drunk. Also, when they put a stick of Celery in it, it looks just right so others will NOT acuse you of not drinking.

After Alan took the bottle over me, I will NEVER drink hard liquer again! FOOEY on him and that! FOOEY!

Friday, December 16, 2011

lookeing at a real nice sweater (cashemere)

Ellen December 16, 2011 at 11:11 am

I do NOT like the cardigan when it is SHORT b/c it does not cover my Tush enough. I would NEVER wear this to work anyway, b/c the manageing partner would be stareing at alot of me that I do NOT want him lookeing at. FOOEY on HIM!

Right now, I have been lookeing at a real nice sweater (cashemere) at Macys that is only $89 on SALE.

I have a COUPON that I will use tomorrow. There is a special PRE-HOLIDAY special on it!!!! Then I can get some chestnuts for a snack! Yummy!!!!!!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

NOT exactly SIX PACK JOES when they take there shirt’s off.

Ellen December 15, 2011 at 6:51 pm

I agree. I am not to skinny, and this time of year have to wear alot of clothing to stay warm.

So OF COURSE I look hefteier then I want to be, but the guys are NOT exactly SIX PACK JOES when they take there shirt’s off.

So just be yourselfs and don’t worry. Wait before sex, and By the time you decide to have sex, you should not worry what you look like b/c he is also a mess and very anxious to have sex with anything at all.

In search of Bunkster's Bark December 16, 2011 at 12:02 am: This is enuff to make me think about feeding ELLEN again.
Monday December 16, 2011 at 10:47 am: SIX PACK JOES. This is a fabulous riff on Sarah Palin.

tho a little more svelte!

This was in discussion of a TV show involving a character named Ellen. Elsewhere on the show, Ellen posted under her regular handle to say that she was not on the show. But for good measure:

Laura December 15, 2011 at 1:50 pm

I saw this and thought they were doing a show about me! I look just like Dr. Hunt in the show, tho a little more svelte!

? December 15, 2011 at 4:14 pm: …and humble, too!

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CN December 15, 2011 at 4:59 pm: I can’t help but add that the lovely Ms. Delany is 55 years old, so congrats on being more svelte, but I think she’s killing it.

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1L-1 December 15, 2011 at 8:35 pm: hi Ellen!

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Tuesday, December 13, 2011

chocolate SCONES every day

Ellen December 13, 2011 at 3:55 pm

Alan used to give me chocolate SCONES every day, b/c he wanted to fatten me up so that other men would NOT be interested in me. FOOEY on HIM.

But I figured this out EARLY and did NOT let him fatten me up!

FOOEY ON HIM! I am NOT fat and Still look good even though I do NOT have a boyfriend now.

Monday, December 12, 2011

You have what ALAN’s mother has–

Ellen December 12, 2011 at 5:04 pm

You have what ALAN’s mother has– Seasonal Affective’s Disorder.

I am NOT a doctor, but I think you need to take alot of vitamin D if you can get it from the store, it is SOLD OTC, so you do NOT need a SCRIPT. Sitting by a sunlamp helps but you really should ask your GP about vitamin D.

Look it up and you will see for yourselves.

Anonymous December 12, 2011 at 7:47 pm

I can’t BELEIVE I am going to agree with Ellen, but Vitamin D supplaments have made ALL the difference for me. And it is great that I do NOT need to see a doctor to get the pills, because my manageing partner HATES when I have to leave to go to a doctor’s appointement.

Nonny December 12, 2011 at 8:46 pm: @ Anonymous: love. :-)

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Thursday, December 8, 2011

"help me pick my baby’s name!"

FREINDS suggest the ultimate tribute. No doubt this baby would at least grow up beautiful...

tika55 December 8, 2011 at 8:08 pm

Oh, thanks for giving me a gift idea for myself. :) Now if only Corporette could help me pick my baby’s name!

Anon December 8, 2011 at 8:42 pm

Ellen.:)

tika55 December 8, 2011 at 8:48 pm: Hah! Actually that is a family name… so it’s not totally out of the realm of possibility! :) Don’t worry, I intend to teach my child the rules of grammar, punctuation and proper blog commenting etiquette!

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Friday, December 2, 2011

a MBA degree by the INTERNET

This is one of few disclosures regarding Ellen's potential aspirations for her professional future. It also illustrates her growing affection for Corporette standard terms such as "Threadjack." She also has taken to calling her friends "the HIVE."

Ellen December 2, 2011 at 3:33 pm

I have a THREAD-JACK!

Does any body know if I can get a MBA degree by the INTERNET? I do NOT want to go to classes, and think if I could get a MBA degree on LINE, then it would be easier. I do NOT like math. FOOEY!

Who has done this and what do you sugest?

Thanks alot for your help, corporetes!!!!

Anon December 2, 2011 at 4:00 pm

You may be able to, but why would you want to? One of the main benefits of an MBA is the network you develop during the program. For an online course, you won’t be interacting with other students or instructors, so you’ll really be missing out on one of the key reasons for doing one.

GRA December 2, 2011 at 4:14 pm: Anon … You do realize this post was written by ELLEN?

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Kelly December 2, 2011 at 4:53 pm

ELLEN, you should do the degree online, because then you can have a MAN do the math part for you, and no one will be the wise. Everyone knows that BOYS are better at math.

mamabear December 2, 2011 at 6:13 pm: RAELLY? I helped my HUSBAND do the math for his on LINE program!! I think we are the opposeits of what you say.

His on line MBA is worth exactly ZEROE in this economy so FOOEY on that!!!!

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eek December 2, 2011 at 5:15 pm

But, if she does an on-campus MBA, she could date her professors and fellow students and get MARRIED. Ellen, I think you should FLIRT with your professors and wear suggestive clothing so that you don’t have to do the math. You would definitely get an A in being PRETTY.

Go away, Ellen December 2, 2011 at 7:20 pm

Go away, Ellen.

meme December 2, 2011 at 7:33 pm

I second this. Not funny any more. Too predictable.

down with ELLEN December 3, 2011 at 1:50 am: Yes, the original “Ellen” was funny, in a sick, annoying sort of way. This is a poor replacement and repititiously boring.

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Bee December 2, 2011 at 8:06 pm

In case anyone actually does want to know, yes, you can. ( I’m about halfway through, but put that project on hold because of other responsibilities.) My program requires lots of on-line discussion, so there is interaction. The math is not easy. I don’t need the degree or the networking, just wanted the challenge.

But can ELLEN get an MBA by the internet? I doubt it.

Unsub December 3, 2011 at 12:11 am: I’m kinda surprised that Ellen can spell MBA. I’m bored with Ellen, whoever he is.

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Wing Lee December 3, 2011 at 3:48 pm: I agree. I have MBA from University and will get new degree soon. Thank you for comments.

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EM December 3, 2011 at 1:19 am

Hey, anything advertised on Facebook has to be good, right?!?