ELLENWatch: February 2012

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

HOPE I do NOT get to be a size 12

Ellen February 29, 2012 at 4:32 pm

I do NOT think this suit is PINK. It realley is more like MAGNENTA.

My mother has a suit like this so mabye when I am her age I can wear it, but she is a size 12 and I am only a size 6. I HOPE I do NOT get to be a size 12 when I am her age, or I NEVER will find a guy to MARRY me. FOOEY!

TCFKAG February 29, 2012 at 5:07 pm

Ellen, the KEY is to find a guy to marry you FIRST and then you can PORK UP real GOOD.

Of course, I was a size 12 on my wedding day, so what do I know. :-)

Monday February 29, 2012 at 5:40 pm: Ellen often comments that a certain item posted here is too small for her even when it is AVAILABEL up to a size 12 or 14. Not that you were going to waste time taking offense from her!
TCFKAG February 29, 2012 at 5:42 pm: Oh, I wasn’t taking offense. I’ve been a size 6, its very unhealthy for me! :-)

I mostly like tweaking imaginary troll’s nose a little. Also I feel bad when no one responds to her. She tries so hard to annoy us…and we never jump to the bait. haha.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

I do not judge you for your sexual moray’s

Many thanks to ELLENWatcher Kirstie for alerting me to this Ellen-rich thread at Bitter Lawyer. I had already known that Ellen comments over there, and I suspect it's an untapped treasure trove--but alas it isn't conveniently searchable for her comments. (If any other reader's have similar tips, please share! I suppose if I'm really serious, though, I just need to start checking, obsessively, for myself.)
This thread makes me think that Ellen does enjoy back-and-forth with other commenters when and only when they don't know who they're dealing with. On Corporette, where it's well-established that she's a special case, shall we say, Ellen almost never condescends to respond to questions or comments. (Counterexample, from earlier times, supports my hypothesis above.) But unsuspecting Kate is being rewarded for her ignorance here! Granted, our girl isn't exactly being gracious. But even negative attention is attention, and Ellen is VERY miserly with hers.
As to content, two things: 1) Ellen is surely "earning money as a lawyer" now, but she has told us that Dad still pays at least some of her rent. Note that she's implying financial independence here, but not quite lying. 2) Other than references to ordering a VIRGIN MARY, I'm not sure I had ever heard before that Ellen doesn't drink at all. Has this ever been contradicted? Do you think her tee-totaling came before she watched Alan descend into hopeless alcoholism, or did she stop drinking only after she saw what it did to him?

Ellen February 28, 2012 at 8:18 pm

Fooey on this! I did NOT like Scotche and still do NOT, but I did go to LAW school and I did do well.

My father paid for my educeation, and now I am earning money as a lawyer. I do not drink b/c men try to take advanteage of me if I am tipsee, and I do NOT want to be used as some smelly guys’ sex pillow. FOOEY on that! FOOEY!

mo February 29, 2012 at 5:46 am

Seriously !?!??!?! your dad paid for your education, he should ask for a refund, your grammar and spelling is a disgrace ! haha

Ellen February 29, 2012 at 6:00 am

Fooey on you! You men expect us to sleep with you and pleasure you just b/c your a lawyer? Big deal! I am a lawyer to. So I am NOT impressed. I will not sleep with a guy just b/c he has a law degree. Fooey on you!

Kate February 29, 2012 at 2:51 pm

Fooey? Fooey? Scotche. . .Educeation. . . Sex Pillow? I cannot come up with the right words to respond to this, so I am going to borrow some.

Ellen, what you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Fooey, Ellen. Fooey on you and whichever state bar licensed you.

Ellen March 1, 2012 at 1:55 pm: I do not judge you for your sexual moray’s, so do not judge mine.

You can do what ever you want with men, irregardless of my views.

I choose to maintain my own moral nature.

And I am admitted in NY, so there!

So Double Fooey on you, Kate.

REPLY

(and I love them watching me).

OK, this is uncharacteristic. I think if it's possible to fake Lourine, that's what we're looking at here.

Lourine February 28, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Great shoe.

I have 2 pair, but one in black.

Men love looking at my legs with these shoes on (and I love them watching me).

Monday, February 27, 2012

VERY important to get a cleaneing lady that is slim

Ellen February 27, 2012 at 2:08 pm

I HIRED a cleaneing lady in my BUILDING, and she ate all of my CORNED beef that my father brought me from the delli! Can you imageine?

So it is VERY important to get a cleaneing lady that is slim and will NOT eat everything good from your refridgerateor. FOOEY!

Anonym February 27, 2012 at 7:03 pm

Please tell me this is some weird spam.

Monday February 27, 2012 at 7:33 pm

You must be new here? Ellen is this blog’s self-designated mascot-troll–though her repertoire extends far beyond Corporette.

Lisa February 27, 2012 at 9:30 pm: Where else does Ellen post?
Monday February 27, 2012 at 10:52 pm: Google “Ellen Barshevsky.” And enjoy.

Friday, February 24, 2012

laterealed in from a clearkship.

Ellen February 24, 2012 at 4:08 pm

Me too, but too expensive for me!

I have a RANT that I want the hive to opine on:

I am now in my Fifth Year as an Associate, and my saleary is the same as a third year associate that laterealed in from a clearkship.

She worked for a federal judge, so that was good, but should NOT I get more because I have 2 years MORE experence then she does?

I think the manageing partner is trying to make me look bad just b/c I do a little less litigeation then she does. I prepare all the EBT’s and even take some and she goes into court b/c she knows some of the judge’s.

What do you all think about the salary disreepencey? Who can I rant to if not to the hive?

Thank you!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

we have to put UP with them

Ellen February 23, 2012 at 4:21 pm

It sounds JUST like Alan. He drank alot, so mabye that was it with him.

Men tend to be kind of strange, but we have to put UP with them, if you know what I mean.

The manageing partner is stareing at me RIGHT now! FOOEY!

BTW, he now is LOOKING at my handbag every morning. I will NOT let him know how much I paid for it. FOOEY on HIM!

Monday, February 20, 2012

(ALAN DID IT)

Perhaps "Laura" and "Lourine" are variations on the same general alias idea.

Laura February 20, 2012 at 6:57 pm

me to! FOOEY! But I went OVER my limit (ALAN DID IT), and then the bank lowered MY limit after the manageing partner took away my credit card from work.

So I NOW only have 1 AMEX card (no perscribed limit) and ONE VISA (w/$6000 limit).

I have to watch it alot, b/c I LOVE sales.

I also DO NOT give my card # out to Alan to use for booze any more. FOOEY ON HIM!

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

I am VERY happy that things worked out for you!

This is a major part of Ellen's draw for me: obliviousness.

Ellen February 15, 2012 at 12:04 pm

YAY! I am VERY happy that things worked out for you!

I had a bad VALENTINE’s day, since I had NO boyfreind to send me flowers, or take me out to DINNER, so I stayed home and watched TV. FOOEY!

I watched FREINDS with benfefits, with Justin Timberlake. It is a GOOD movie and he is good, tho I do NOT care for his lookes. Myla Kunis is cute to, but she is shorter then me.

Iwould like to find a BOYFREIND for the summer.

Monday February 15, 2012 at 2:16 pm: Ellen, I am unspeakeably touched to hear from you. Your demonstrated reading comprehension is entirely consistent with what we’ve come to expect. I was definitely in the mood to join you last night, although I DO have a boyfreind and he DID give me ROSES so I should NOT complain.

I’m glad that you, too, have adjusted your expectations. Please let us know what happens with the BALD freind of the manageing partner. He might be a better prospect than you thought.

Reply

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy Valentine’s Day to the HIVE!!!

Here's what became of Ellen's plan to lock down a boyfreind by Valentine's Day. Linda offers very appropriate advice. Special thanks to Pam for the observation about CAPS execution. I've wondered about that as well.

Ellen February 14, 2012 at 10:57 am

Still to expensive, but I like it alot!!!

Today I still do NOT have a boyfreind, and I am sad b/c I have tried, but all the “boys” just want to be boys and do NOT want a relationeship.

I want to get MARRIED eventueally, but these boys just want to have sex. FOOEY on that!

At least Alan cared alot when he was SOBER, but he perfered the bottle to me, so FOOEY on him too.

Happy Valentine’s Day to the HIVE!!! I hope you will have better luck then me today!

Pam February 14, 2012 at 1:01 pm

I preferred when Ellen’s use of emphasis made no sense. Lately, I’ve noticed the use of all-caps is just too … not normal … acceptable, I guess, is the word I am looking for.

Two Questions February 14, 2012 at 1:52 pm

Oddly, I have started to use some of her capitalizations in my personal writing…

anon February 14, 2012 at 3:14 pm

Can someone please explain Ellen to me? Please. (This is an actual question).

AnonInfinity February 14, 2012 at 3:22 pm: She (?) is a troll on many sites. She cannot spell and puts emphasis on strange words (usually). The manageing partner stares at her all the time, and she hates him because he has bad breathe. She and Allen were dating for a long time but recently broke up due to his alcoholism (though there was a possible rekindling over Christmas?)

I think that some posters now post as Ellen because the style changes from time to time.

Linda February 14, 2012 at 1:37 pm

Don’t worry, there will be a MAN for you. You must make yourself available, but not too available to the men. Once the men realize they can get the milk for free, they won’t buy the cow. So be a little judicious in giving of yourself, and stay away from alcoholics who just want to have sex and run.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

manageing partner has been reading my post’s

Further evidence that Ellen gets caught in some moderation net. I do love the prospect of MP reading her comments, however. Not to give anyone any ideas, but...what's to keep him from responding to any given post? Particularly since so many of them are about HIM?

Ellen February 9, 2012 at 7:30 pm

And I alway’s get caught up in moderation. The manageing partner has been reading my post’s so I have to be a little more carful.

FOOEY on him!

Friday, February 3, 2012

want’s me to recrueit NEW CLEINTS!!!!!!

Ellen February 3, 2012 at 10:29 pm

I am always interested in WAYS to loose weight. I was SO busy doing EBT’s today that i am JUST getting to the HIVE to say HELLO.

Anyway, the manageing partner says I will be getting a $5,000 raise!!!!! YAY!!!!!

Evedentely, he like’s how I do EBT’s, and want’s me to recrueit NEW CLEINTS!!!!!!

But I do NOT want to have to SCHMOOZE with POTENTIEAL CLEINTS. FOOEY on that!

I have to work alot this weekend on new EBT’s. FOOEY!

Anonymous February 4, 2012 at 11:37 am

Ellen’s juxtaposition of a professional woman with a big job and a big boss who pays big money for serious professional work to a women who hasn’t even mastered the basics skills of spelling, writing conventions, electronic social discourse (highlighted by her use of the trademark “fooey”, a word that no one actually uses), and employee-employer relations flies in the face of everything we are taught to strive for as women and teach our daughters vis-a-vis social correctness, academic perfection, and trying to conform and fit in. As Ellen’s character demonstrates, these conventions are not where the sparks of true creativity and innovation reside. What a great demonstration of how the creation of a character can be an extraordinarily powerful and thought provoking teaching tool above and beyond anything that can be simply said with words.

Monday February 4, 2012 at 4:00 pm: Not sure if you’re a regular Corporette, but I had thought I was the most scholarly of Ellen’s followers until now! Good to see that someone else shares my inexplicable need to close-read her.

I share your opinion that Ellen’s persona is an illustration of irony. I would add to your profile: she talks a big game about being independent and respected as a woman, but also harps constantly on her need for a boyfriend/husband (to pay her bills), need to lose weight, and inability to do things like math or taxes (thus needing either Alan or her father to take over). Her posts are also, often, incoherent or totally non-cohesive in their various points. I think “she” is probably making fun of us, but it’s very artistically done in its own way, and she’s so absurd that I don’t think many people are earnestly offended. Generally the three responses I see from Corporette readers are: 1) ignore; 2) play along; 3) tell her she’s lame and to stop. I can understand each of these responses. I wish she provided more variation and sharper humor, but even as-is I feel like she serves a purpose that defies categorization.

About once a week I Google her full “name”–Ellen Barshevsky–to check out what she has written on other blogs. She has a very consistent voice. I think it’s possible that the troll/blogger who got kicked off the ABA online site in 2008 is NOT the same person(s) we’re dealing with now, but even if so the new torch-bearers are being fairly loyal to the original.

I actually find some solace and inspiration in Ellen’s account of life. I hope she is not so obtrusive as to seriously bother readers who don’t like her, and I also try to moderate my own engagement with her because I know that many readers (validly) see this as “feeding the trolls.” I have encouraged her to solve this problem by starting her own blog, but am not having any luck.
January February 5, 2012 at 4:11 pm: I love that the two of you have taken the time to deconstruct Ellen (teh Ellen?). Well done, ladies.