you mabye get good

David? Really? Like Hurricane Sandy David? I thought Ellen was dead set on ignoring all of his contacts for all time. She must really be getting desperate. Hot chocolate probably wouldn't have done it for someone who isn't being baited with $50k to get married and have kids immediately...

Ellen :

12/10/2013 at 4:32 pm

I think I will get one of these for Dad. Even tho it is expensive, I have learned OVER the year’s that if you buy something cheep, it will fall a part on you. I bought my dad a pair of slack’s on sale (famous name) but within one season (he said onley about 5 washing’s) it already started to get threadbare and is now a total SCHMATTA that mom onley let’s him use when he is cleaning the basement or the CAR. Now I could see mabye if it went at the knee’s or in the seat –my dad’s tuchus is also not microscopic, but it started to wear right where he put’s his hand’s in his pocket’s. And guess what, he is NOT a Knish Vendor makeing change in his pocket’s all day, either!

So I learned dad’s lesson. You buy cheep, you get cheep. You buy good, you mabye get good. Dad is smart. That is why he has a doctoreate degree. YAY dad!!!!!

David called out of the blue and want’s me to go ice skateing with him at Bryant Park. I told him mabye it’s better to go to the Wolman rink, b/c there was a shooteing at Bryant Park. He said OK, so I will go this weekend with him. He promised to buy me some hot chocalate there. YUMMY!!!!!!!

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moo moo’s make it easy for her to get in and out of the toilet

Since Manageing & MANAGEING LLP is relying on its backup toilet until the move (right?) the moo moo's could be even more important. But if Madeline is still using the stumpy remain's of the firm's regular throne I'm concerned that "in and out of the toilet" might be literal. Watch your hems! 

Ellen :

12/10/2013 at 3:01 pm

I agree. It is a good thing that the manageing partner does NOT allow any of us to wear pant’s in the office. Personally, I find the new style’s way to tight in the tuchus, and if I bought a bigger size or had my pant’s ALTERED, then my pant’s would look like Barbra Eden’s in I DREAM OF JEANNIE, but she had a tuchus that could PULL THOSE OFF. I do NOT. FOOEY!

So I thank the manageing partner for insisting on wearing dresses. Madeline especially should never be seen in slack’s because she has a supersized tuchus, and she wears alot of moo moo’s. That work’s for her b/c she does NOT have to go into court. Also, the moo moo’s make it easy for her to get in and out of the toilet without to much dificulty. YAY for her, but FOOEY for the rest of us that have to go in there soon after she use’s it. The manageing partner has promised us that our new place has very well VENTILATED toilets and that will help alot, especialy b/c they are out in the hall rather then right by my office. YAY!

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all I need is a non-drunk man to marry me.

Thank's for weighing in, Baconpancakes. We'll see if Ellen took your wise counsel to heart. 

Ellen :

12/10/2013 at 10:17 am

FOOEY! I disagree. I think that b/c Children will alway’s be there, even if the marrage dissolve’s, So you MUST put children first b/c you bring them into the world, you must take care of them.

If I ever had had a child with Alan (which was lucky that I did NOT), I would haveto care for the child, but NOT Alan. He became an alchoholic I no longer needed in my life. So it helps to be abel to get rid of husband’s who are losers, but you will alway’s have children. Fortunately, I do NOT have to worry about it. I need a NEW GUY to marry me and to have a baby with me so that I can have both. I also have a good job that I enjoy doing, so all is well for now. Since I already have a coop apartement to live in, all I need is a non-drunk man to marry me. If only I can find a guy to marry I will have everything I need. YAY!

Myrna gave me the number of her freind’s freind in Myrtle Beach and want’s me to call him. FOOEY! Men should call women, right?

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Baconpancakes :

12/10/2013 at 11:06 am

Ellen, you’re a strong and independent woman! You don’t have to wait for him to call you! If you call and have a great conversation, you can tell him to call you, and then if he doesn’t FOOEY on him, but if he does you’ll know he’s interested and willing to put in the effort. Just don’t call him a second time until he calls you, fair’s fair.

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car’s are a BAD thing for some of us

Zora is warned of the risks to one's romantic and professional life when a woman drives a car. Thanks, Ellen, as alway's. And Willem is going to get yet another chance to interrupt Ellen's voracious billing because...he steps onto the premises and MP's going to bill him in turn. 

Which brings me to our final highlight today: the 150% uplift that Ellen can't know about until she's fully partnerized? Wha...? I mean, we've all had plenty of educated guesses to this effect for a while now, but seeing it in writing is different. This means there's going to be some kind of formal induction to MP's illegal/unethical approach (if it's even more extreme than Ellen's manner of billing now) and also, probably, that Dad is in on it. Recall his consulting role in a sort of external audit of Manageing & MANAGEING earlier this year. 

Ellen :

12/09/2013 at 3:30 pm

Hug’s to you, Zora. It can hapen to any one of us. Mom backed up in Rosevelt Field and hit her car, and dad realy lit into her for being sloppey. I do NOT drive any more since I moved into the City, but I do Drive when I am on LI, but do NOT like driveing b/c of all of the luneatic’s out there. FOOEY!

I remember in college there was a girl who was very popular, but it was onley b/c she had a car. Lot’s of guy’s dated her just to get to drive her MUSTEANG Convertible. She wound up flunkeing out of school b/c she had so many guy’s dateing her for her car. So car’s are a BAD thing for some of us, particulearly her. DOUBEL FOOEY!

Willem called again and he insist’s on comeing over. The manageing partner said I should let him come over and he will talk to him also so that he can bill his company for talkeing to him. I have almost 280 hour’s billed this month with over a week and 1/2 to go so I should get about 450. The manageing partner said that I should be shooteing for 6500 hour’s next year, and as a partner, I should be easily abel to do that with the 150% uplift he will teach me about. YAY!!!!!

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not totaly wortheless

So we have 3 pound's to loose and none to gain heading into the holiday's. Also, Rosa knows all about Fred's groping, but I'd like to see it passed on to her husband, his buddy, Ed. No, I am not sure he will care, but the more attention on this the better. 

Ellen :

12/09/2013 at 10:40 am

Yay! Pricey Monday! I can almost afford this dresses’s like this! I like the neckline b/c there is NOTHING for Frank to stare at also! YAY!

As for the OP, yes, I walk in to work and I bring a tupperweare container with celery and carot’s so that I have something to snack on (other then the cookie’s the manageing partner has Lynn bring in every day). I still am 3 pound’s over where I should be b/c of all of the Thank’sgiving meal I ate. Mom is also trying to loose weight by walkeing with Dad with a new FITBIT! YAY!

I told Rosa all about Fred and she did NOT like that Fred stuck his hand inside of my sweater. She said he “should NOT be lookeing for his key’s there!”. I agreed, b/c he is NEVER getting the key to my heart, either. FOOEY on FRED! Rosa said he has ALOT of nerve for thinkeing that my boobies could be rented out for the price of a cheap meal. He would NOT even let me eat a second appetizer and I did NOT even have an entreee either! FOOEY on FRED. Myrna’s dog did like the biscut’s tho. So Fred was not totaly wortheless. But I could have gotten Xilo some biscut’s without haveing to have a guy squeeze my boobie’s. FOOEY!

Myrna told me about a guy she met who wanted to marry her last year, but he wanted her to keep workeing b/c she made alot of money and he wanted to be a “housefrau”. I do NOT even know what that mean’s but she said NO. She would NOT suport a guy who just would lay around waiting to give her sex at night. That is what Alan was turneing into, I said and she agreed! We will hereinafter pass on any man that just want’s us to work while they play. Myrna showed me an articel about this in the NY Times that the HIVE should read. We will NOT ever become this. FOOEY!

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/30/business/economy/women-as-family-breadwinner-on-the-rise-study-says.html

If I am doieng all the work, should I be also have to come home and start doieng all the housework? NO WAY HOZE! We want men to work and to suport US, not the other way around. FOOEY!

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If anyone in the HIVE has Idea’s,

1) A week in Myrtle Beach? What kind of internet access will be available?
2) If you're curious about "eggzover," here are past usages. I can't find any etymology other than "Ellen's mom," but please share if you know it. 
3) The highlighted quote in our penultimate paragraph really does not sound like Myrna to me. I liked her better when she was Ellen's fast-and-loose foil--and I don't mean specifically regarding men, I mean with the triathlons and the stock market geekery and so on. We already have so many imaginary characters talking about bouncing weenies. Can't Myrna retain at least a bit of autonomy? 

Ellen :

12/06/2013 at 2:56 pm

Yay! Open Thread’s! I love Open Thread’s!

Congratulation’s to you on starteing a new job! It is very exciteing for this to happen! Mabye your new boss will be great like mine. The manageing partner just gave me a $500 gift card to Lord & Taylor’s and told me not to spend it all at once! He said it was a special reward for billing over 500 hours in the month of November!

DOUBEL YAY! I am on track for about 450 this month, and that is less onley b/c I am takeing the last week off entirely to go with Myrna to Myrtle Beach SOUTH Carolina. She knows a guy who has a house down there and he knows some guy’s who might want to date me.

Fred called to apoligize for last nite, but I told him NO SOAP, we are EGGZOVER! NO way will a guy be permited to grab my boobies after takeing me to a baskete ball game. I am a woman and have moral’s. I will NOT stand for him, also b/c he was flirteing and stareing at alot of women. He said he was NOT used to seeing so many pretty women before, b/c he does NOT see any up in PURDEY’s at his feed store. FOOEY on that. Rosa knows alot of pretty women up in Chapaqua, so how much different can PURDEY’s be? I am sure he is just a guy lookeing to sleep with as many women as he can, and if he can NOT, he just want’s to grab our boobies. DOUBEL FOOEY ON HIM AND OTHER’s LIKE HIM. We are more than a squeezing bag for men. TRIPEL FOOEY!

Dad want’s me to think about mabye lookeing for places that he and mom can buy for a vacation home down there. If he moves to North Carolina, he want’s a place where Rosa and I can meet him (with Ed and the Kids, and if I ever get MARRIED, MY HUSBAND and MY BABIE’s also–YAY!). I told him I would look and tell him if I found anything he might buy for us to vacation in.

Myrna and I have alot to talk about. She is disgusted at men like Fred and Olak who just think of us, as she says “glorified air mattresses that they can bounce their weenies on”. FOOEY ON MEN LIKE THEM! FOOEY! We have to put together a plan of attack where we can choose the men we want and NOT have to have them think that we are just sex toy’s. We are so much smarter then that!

If anyone in the HIVE has Idea’s, I will come back and get them for Myrna and me to REVIEW YAY!!!!!!!

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and he made ME carry the 5 pound bag of dog biskit’s

Fred may just take the cake for Ellen's worst date ever--and that's saying ALOT. Usually the violative groping or the checkeing out other women or the denial of appetizer would be all that's needed to FOOEY, but last night we checked all the boxes. I wonder how specific her postmortem with Rosa is going to get. 

Meanwhile it sounds like Myrna is done with Olak (or whomever), which likely means Vikram is not to be heard from again either. Again, no great loss. At this point, with Willem more eccentric by the day and Sam apparently having given up, Keith (son of Roberta) is the only fellow to watch.  

Ellen :

12/06/2013 at 10:07 am

Hug’s to you, I am the same today, but it will get better! YAY!

I love Fruegel Friday’s and this look’s like a pretty good start for me after a DISASTER yesterday with Fred. He came here early to pick me up, and was flirteing with Lynn. I ignored that, but we then got a car to take us over to the Barcleay’s Center, and he was stareing at a girl on the corner of Park and 29th Street, and he made ME carry the 5 pound bag of dog biskit’s that were for Myrna’s Shnauzzer. Then, when we stopped at Myrna’s office to give her the dog biskit’s, he was stareing at her, and she told me later he was creepey; then we went to dinner and he did NOT want me to order anything other then the salad, even tho I told him I was fasteing all day so that I could have another appetizer; then we watched the game (the Net’s lost –FOOEY), and then he got us a car to take us back to Manhattan, and when we were in the car, he put his smelley hand under my blouse without permission. When I told him I would NOT let him do that, he said that we could do that back in my apartement. So I said NO, you are goeing home, not up to my apartement. I did NOT let him get out of the car, and had the driver take him directely back to Grand Central where he was suposed to get on the train (about 1230 am).

I can not believe a feed store guy could think that buyeing me dinner and a ticket to see guy’s jumping up and down with a basketeball gives him a license to squeeze my boobies! FOOEY! I will NOT go out with him again and will tell Rosa to tell Ed not to have guy’s like Fred come into my life. He can get some other woman for that, but not me. DOUBEL FOOEY on HIM!

Myrna is comeing over tonite so that we can go over this mess. YAY! She had the same issue with Olak, or whatever his name that guy from Brazil is. TRIPEL FOOEY on men that just want us for sex. We are alot more than sexueal object’s.

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