Sunday, November 24, 2013

NEVER to do any doubel entener’s any m0re

The Sunshine Girls/Vinnie/Additional Anonymous Peudopeople have called me out over the past few days for missing a few post's. And I didn't even acknowledge them immediately! You know how I am going to defend myself already: they went up late, probably due to moderation! But forgiveness comes rarely and only after much grovelling with this particular audience, so I'll spare y'all. (Actually, empathy for my presumed bowel problems and threats of a wet noodle are comparatively quite kind.) 

As for the content itself, I agree that the only major takeaway is that Ellen maintains she has never been intimate with the Manageing Partner. I'm not saying I ever assumed otherwise, but she has never gone on the record denying it until now. Yes, this is making me think I should go on the record denying having slept with each of my bosses, too--if silence tends to mean Yes I Have (fooey).

    You skipped some pretty funny posts on the 19th, but inasmuch as you've been slacking (maybe with a case of IBS), we will forgive you....this time. Just don't let it happen again. 

    Here is #1 from the Coffee Break, where Ellen is considering being a law professor:

    Ellen : 
    11/19/2013 at 4:29 pm 
    This sound’s like a pretty good way to make an extra $5,000 per semester, but I think I do NOT have enough time to spend on being a ADJUNCT PROFESSEOR. I think I would rather do a FULL PROFESSEORESHIP b/c I could then be abel to have my dad parade around the country club telling everyone that NOT onley was I a partner at a NYC firm, but now am a full professeor of law. My onley problem is that I do NOT know where I am goeing to be–if I get MARRIED and live in Westchester, I do NOT want to have to comute all the way to NYC to teach, nor do I want to have to teach in Brooklen or Long Island. Mabye Pace in Westchester would be OK.

    Does any one know how much a FULL PROFESSEOR can make? $200-250K?

    On the other hand, if I get married and Live on Long Island, mabye it would NOT be so bad to teach on LONG ISLAND or even in Brooklyn, so I have MORE OPTION’s. In either event, I could even teach at NYU, but NOT at Columbia unless I drove, but I do NOT want to drive into the City to teach. FOOEY! I think my best bet is to think about Saint Jon or Brooklyn Law or NYU, takeing the train, or, like the manageing partner says, live in the HAMTONS and teach at Tooro Law, which is out there some where. I just do NOT want to waste alot of time prepareing for class. I figure that as a litiegieator, I could go over trial strategy and other thing’s that I NEVER was taught in law school. YAY!!!!!!!
  2. Here is #2, where Ellen is discussing what is the best and most appropriate business gift, where she confirms that her relationship with her boss is not sexual in nature.

    Ellen : 
    11/19/2013 at 2:25 pm 
    Yay! I think the best gift for the holiday’s are FOOD, or else cake’s or cookies, and I prefer Crumb’s or David and Somebody if you use mail order. I have to watch what I give Lynn b/c she is young and she is watcheing her figure, but Madeline will eat almost anything (and alot of it) b/c she has a VERY big tuchus and saddel bag’s that she admit’s she has long since STOPPED worryeing about.

    As for the OP, if you are on your second interview, you can tell them it is THEIR TURN to ask YOU question’s b/c you already know you WANT to work there, and it is now up to them if they want you to come work “with them”. Always say “work with them” b/c the workplace is suposed to be colaberative, according to Deborah Spar. Also, speaking along these lines, whatever you do, if you are intervewing with a man who would be your senior manageing partner, NEVER say that you would enjoy working under him, b/c this is a sexueal reference you do NOT want to portray. FOOEY! Frank tricked me once into agreeing that I worked under the manageing partner. I was MORTIFIED when the potential cleint looked at me as if I actueally had sex with the manageing partner. FOOEY! And the manageing partner agreed, b/c we do have ONLEY a professional relationship. TRIPEL FOOEY for Frank makeing me say that. I have learned NEVER to do any doubel entener’s any m0re. So for the OP, good luck, and I hope you get the job!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Finally, here is #3, from the morning thread, where Ellen discusses the dilemma the firm faced when the firm needed a full body photo of the firm for some legal publication. Hilarious!

    Ellen : 
    11/19/2013 at 9:38 am 
    I love this dress, but the cut-out in back would NOT work for me b/c Frank is alway’s looking to find any kind of skin on me that he has NOT seen and then stare at it. He is so wierd some times b/c he has a wife who I am SURE he stare’s at all night and weekend’s also!

    As for the OP, I agree it is strange. In fact, the manageing partner wanted a full length photo of everyone in the firm, all standeing at a window lookeing out at the Chrysler Buildeing for an ad he was goieng to place! 

    But we don’t even have a conference room that look’s out at that Buildeing, so he was goieng to ask one of his freind’s to loan us their conference room so we could all go take that picture for the Top Lawyer’s magazine. The manageing partner then found out how much it would cost and said that we would consider it next year when we move to our new place.

    Fred has invited me to go to a Knick’s game at the Barclay’s center, b/c they are playing the NETS. I was there once with Willem and it was fun so I told him OK. I hope that was the right thing to do. At least Ed will be happy, tho I am not sure about being the wife of a FEED STORE MANAGER. FOOEY!


    It looks like Fred is back in the picture after all. Ellenwatch, kindly keep up your appointed duties with the flair that we are used to seeing. It is not easy for the rest of us to follow her on Corporette, so we prefer that you do the ground work and furnish witty commentary. Should you continue to slack, we will have to find a wet noodle and deal with you accordingly!


  1. I'm not sure what's worse. having IBS or getting it in the caboose? I guess IBS because in the right circumstance, the caboose could be fun.

    1. I vote for the caboose. With the right guy (who is understanding and gentle), the experience is one you will remember forever.