Saturday, November 30, 2013

"the non-conformist, high energy professional"

Once again, Pest opposes Ellen and suggests that I pack it in. This is, however, I believe the first time that I've been called out sans provocation--I hadn't said anything on this thread, nor been mentioned by others. At any rate, I maintain that I could only retire in good conscience if I knew somebody else out there, who could ELLENWatch better than I, was ready to take the reins. 

As to Marina, who probably works at S&S Associates too, I'll go in order of the highlights:

  1. The Rx for somebody who doesn't like Ellen is to make sure to read every single one of her posts and acquire the taste.
  2. My own blog is "magical," and even manages to be "on point" more than half the time! YAY!!!
  3. Ellen has been posting on Corporette since at least 2010, so I don't know where "the last year or so" came from. See Item 1, perhaps, or even my own third sentence above? (Then you can re-read this entire text, religiously, until you start thinking you might actually like it.) 

Can anyone answer WHY is there an Ellen here? Why does the person or people who do this bother? Why is there an Ellenwatch? Why are people entertained by this? Honestly, I don’t understand it.
  • Pest, Ellen represents a little bit of the non-conformist, high energy professional in all of us that we can smile at and appreciate. She’s young, vivacious and outspoken. Moreover, she can be really funny at times, because she is serious about each of the subject matters she addresses in her own attempt to help others in the hive. Ellen, in her own mind, knows everything, and in her microcosmic life, Ellen has truly been able to flourish. The managing partner loves her (i.e., she is a billing black belt), the judge loves her (possibly as an unrequited sex toy), and her clients love her (Roberta, Jim and a few others who accept her billings willingly). She struggles with her weight, and her father pushes her hard to look good so she can get married and off his hands. There is always a good story about a guy who tries to get the best of her sexually, but inevitably they’ve nearly all wound up empty-handed holding their own while Ellen casually moves on to the next guy who will not likely be worthy in the mind of her all consuming dad and her long-suffering mom. I think that if you read Ellen religiously, not only will you learn to appreciate what she has to say, but you will also look forward to her posts. I think this is why Ellenwatch has come on the scene and become a valuable place to find her posts, so if you don’t catch her posts here, Ellenwatch will be there to collect her posts for all of us, and add her own magical interpretations, most of which are on point! Yay, Ellenwatch! In this connection, I think Ellen has given us more than a few sayings we’ve incorporated into our own vernacular, such as JSFAMO, No way, Hoze! FOOEY! and a few other sayings that do not immediately come to mind.
    So sit back, relax and enjoy Ellen while we have her, because once she finds a real “Boyfreind”, I am sure he will keep her busy enough so that she will not have the same time and energy to post on her daily life as she’s done here for the past year or so.


  1. Ellen also has morals and does not hump like a rabbit��. Another reason to love her.

  2. Congrats to EW. Keep it up and it could be Pulitzer time 4 u!

  3. Sorry, Ellenwatch, Marina is not one of ours, tho she is very articulate and shares our values. Why is it that anyone who would say things to protect Ellen from spreading her legs wantonly has to be part of our law firm? There are plenty of women across the country, we think, who share the belief that women, professional or not, should not defer to men either economically, socially or sexually just because they are women. Men have long been known to "spread their seed" without making any type of commitment, if they can get away with it. Indeed, we ourselves have been victimized by such men at the firm, having been lulled into the (false) belief that we could advance our own personal lives with partners by letting them enjoy themselves sexually with us (with our full knowing consent). Of course, the consent was given based on the now-defeated expectation that we could have permanent relationships (i.e. marriage) with such louts. In fact, none left their wives for us, and we too have been supplanted by younger associates at the firm who are being similarly misled as we speak. We therefore recommend that all professional women in law firms not give men any kind of sexual pleasuring without first getting a firm commitment in the form of an engagement ring worth at least $2,000. This rule should be flexible, given the economic circumstances of the partner.

    1. I appreciate that your proposed rules always have caveats and sliding scales built in. Very judicious.

  4. I like Marina. She seems smart.