Tuesday, September 3, 2013

like old Cheeze and Cheeze Doodel’s combined

So MP's Labor Day party was an elegant affair. I thought it was a big deal that Sam went into the pool in his skivvies, given that they were probably white, but I should have known that was just the beginning. Harold got naked and the two of them fought throughout about who was gay. Ellen may have decisively dumped Sam before wandering off with the distinguished Willem. Tentatively I say, good move. However, Sam is poised to become another bothersome, ooogleing fixture in Ellen's life now since he's buddy-buddy with MP and apparently using the firm for something or other. 

My favorite aspect of this post, remote as it is, is the treatment of Jim. We open in his sad-sack apartment (divorce, you think?) and close with the answer to my recent question about why Roberta deals with this dead weight. Or, such an answer as it is. Interested in more backstory (and less underwear wrestling).

Yay! What a skirt, but I can NOT go to BLOOMIE’s, b/c they know me there. Mabye the one in Westchester when I visit with Rosa and the babie’s!
What a weekend I had at the manageing partner’s place in the Hamton’s! Roberta picked me up right at 5:45 and we headed for Jim’s place. He was not ready, so we had to get him up. His place smelled terrible–kind of like old Cheeze and Cheeze Doodel’s combined. I think he had dirty laundry also, which made it worse.
Once we got on the road it was 7:15, and Roberta was annoyed at Jim. Jim also kept stareing at me b/c he was sitting in the back seat and I was up front with Roberta. I was wearing a halter top and that MUST have encouraged him. FOOEY, but it was HOT out and I was NOT goeing to wear a sweat shirt so that he could look elsewhere.
The road’s were busy so when we got to the manageing partner’s place in the Hamton’s it was almost NOON and other’s were there. Sam, Harold and his Dad and Willem, a new cleint were talking to Madeline and they said go into the pool. There were some peeople I never saw before, and they were busy with the manageing partner, who had a chef’s hat on and was cookeing on his new WEBBER Grill. There were some other pretty girl’s there who I think lived locally and they were talking to Willem and Harold. Harold drank alot of beer’s and was tipsey by noon, and he and Sam got into an arguement I think over me. Harold I think told Sam he used to date me, and Sam said I was dateing him now. It was hot out and Sam did not have a batheing suit, so he just wore his underwear in the pool. Because Harold was drunk, he went in the pool with his clotheing on and then he took his pant’s off in the pool. His dad got mad at him and told him to get out, and when he did he took ALL of his clotheing off, and Madeline saw everything. Then he must have gotten self consichius, and he pulled Sam’s underwear down so that Madeline could see Sam also. I do NOT think Sam was circumscribed and that was weird! Anyway, both of them had to go inside to dry off and put new clothe’s on. The manageing partner lent both his clothe’s which were MUCH to big for them and they looked silly.
We went on the boat after lunch and Sam and Harold kept pokeing at each other verbaly, and Harold said Sam sounded feminine. Sam assured him he was very masculeine, and that Harold must not be a straight arrow, b/c he had to pull Sam’s pant’s down. Again Harold’s dad had to move Harold to another part of the boat, and by then Harold started to throw up over the edge of the boat. FOOEY! I remember Alan vomitting just like that. FOOEY!
On the boat Sam told me I looked good and said he would like to date me. I told him he should have thought about BEFORE inviteing himself to the party and talkeing directly to the manageing partner. Sam said my dad wanted him to date me, but I said my dad does NOT choose my date’s. Sam then said that he would even consider marrying me if I would date him and he assured me that I would not be disapointed with him in bed. I said I do NOT sleep with men on a trial basis and that my last boyfreind was a disapointment. We all went back for Flank Steak and Sam ate veggie’s. When it was time to leave, Sam said I should drive back with him but I said NO, I was already with Roberta. I wound up talkeing with Willem alot and he said we should meet in the City. He is a little older (40), but still interesting to me. He is a banker too, tho he work’s in Brooklyn. I do NOT know what kind of banking goe’s on out there but he was very impressed that I may become a JUDGE. He said he never dated a Judge before. Jim kept stareing at me all the way home and I was exhausted when Roberta dropped him off at 11:30 at night. Roberta agreed Jim had issue’s but that he was an old freind that she could NOT dessert now that he was over 50. Roberta and I agreed to meet this weekend and she would take me out for deli. YAY! I am busy now prepareing for my court apearance tomorow, so I have to get ready. Welcome back to the HIVE. I am exhausted! DOUBEL FOOEY!

5 comments:

  1. You are right. The managing partner hosted a classy affair. His brother and nephew are real winners! I don't think Harold slept with Ellen, unless he is counting wet dreams, so the fight between him and Sam was based on a false assumption. Sam should not have swam in his undies, unless he wanted Ellen to see the silhouette of his package. She got a far better look when Harold aired his privates for all to behold. Presumably Harold is proud of his own package; otherwise he would never would have stripped down and "played sword fight" with Sam. The fact Sam is not circumcised might be a deal breaker for Ellen as she appeared to be put off by it and may not want to make love to him because of his member. Jim is also a lost cause. I can't imagine the stink of that apartment. Ellen is lucky not to have gotten romantic with him. I don't know where Queens is but I don't want to know any more about it. Gross! Finally, I hope Willem provides something more than Sam, but don't count Sam out yet, as Ellen's dad has given him the green light to get her. Where is Ellen's mom in all of this? And with all of the pool action, I am surprised that no one grabbed Ellen or Margie's ass! Thanks for keeping us up to speed, ellenwatch, and happy Rosh Hashanah to you and your family.

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    1. Thank you. Interesting question about Ellen's mom--I wish she had more input as well, but since neither her daughter nor her husband take her opinions all that seriously I think she's mostly just here as a cautionary tale about growing too large a TUSH (and perhaps marrying an asshole. I can use curse words on here but you cannot).

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  2. Ellen will likely have a TUSH just like mom's, and a tuchus to boot! So she'd better marry now, or find a guy that will appreciate her caboose both in and out of the bedroom.

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    1. Em......fyi, a tush is a tuchus (also spelled tuches or tuchis, depending on where in the USA you live). Some people in the USA who are not familiar with, or comfortable uttering, Yiddish guttural sounds, have nonetheless Americanized a number of Yiddish words like this one, and have put them into general use. For example, you need not be a religous mensch to use and understand all of the following words, which though originally Yiddish, have become commonplace in American usage: Schlep, chatchke, schmooze, schmuck, nosh, mensh, klutz, glitch, putz, and schlock. Since it does not seem to me clear that EllenWatch is familiar with the meaning of these words, so I am furnishing them for her reference too!

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  3. Oy, no ELLENwatch? Where is she when we need insight? This is no time for her to slim her tuchis, even if her soul sister, Ellen, is doing same as we sit on our own widening asses awaiting her return. I think she needs to date William. He might be the fit for Ellen.

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