Wednesday, September 25, 2013

probelem’s I am haveing with the so-called men

Applause always for Corporette readers who become even the tiniest bit invested in Ellen's saga. I'd never thunk to create "teams," but this is why I need backup in my endeavors! Well done. I think I am on Team Sober and Repentant Alan, but that's subject to revision, especially if he is neither. 

2 other things!
ONE: Who's in marriage counseling down in DC? My best guess (lacking another candidate) is pampered SAHM Lorrie, who wisely planned her undergrad career around securing a high-earning husband. As with Rosa's similar arrangement, it's hard to imagine anything going wrong, but you tell us, Ellen. Is Jamie having an affair with the nanny? Is Lorrie fantasizing about getting a fainting couch? 
TWO: How far off is Ellen's 35th birthday? She's been extremely dodgy about her age, having already doubled back on her own insinuations a few times...such that she may well already be 35 (or turning in March). Dad has access to her birth certificate, though, so if there's anyone who isn't going to play along with alternating stories, it's him (and his wallet, vis-a-vis wedding finance). Good luck with that, as they say...

I do NOT know where you are, but my freind in Washington just found a good one, and I can get the name of that counselor if you are in DC.
I need some one like that to guide me thru the probelem’s I am haveing with the so-called men who are in my life. What total looser’s! The onley one with potential is Willem, and dad does NOT like his NAME b/c it sound’s like a rat from a movie. FOOEY! He called again last nite and chewed me out for rejecting Sam. I told him Sam picks his nose and flashed his weenie at me. Dad said I need to find a guy now, and if that mean’s putting up with stuff like that from men, then I should do that, and alot more. He says he will not pay for a big wedding for me if I am over 35 b/c by then I should be abel to do it myself. I told him that he gave Rosa a great wedding and I want the same. He said onley if it happens before I am 35. FOOEY! That mean’s I have to move faster then I wanted to, even if I do NOT make Grandma Leyeh’s timeline.
Willem called to find out how I am doieng and to see if I wanted to go on the Circle Line cruise. His parent’s are comeing into town and he want’s to show them Manahattan. So I had suggested the Circle Line a few week’s ago. I told the manageing partner and he said I should go and he would go also and pay for it all as a cleint expense. I supose that is OK, but I was hopeing that I would get some info from Willem’s parent’s to convince Dad he is OK.
I did want to thank the Hive for advise on Sam and Willem, but am torn b/c Sam does have alot of money and is younger, but the nose pickeing is VERY dificult to get over. I am alway’s lookeing at him waiteing to see when he start’s pickeing his nose! DOUBEL FOOEY!


  1. Dear EW,

    I actually posted that link to Alan's comment on the Brooklyn blog to you about a month ago and you said you already knew about it. For the record, I am also Team Alan.
    Can we discuss two things: 1. Why is there no Jewish requirement? Can grandma L and Dad want her to marry any old gentile?
    2. Do you think that Ellen reads Ellenwstch and possibly comments? Do you think we are encouraging her?(if so, joy!).
    3. Do you think you could do a post where we try to figure out where Ellen is located? I feel like she gave us some good info on the MANAGEING PARTNER'S location.


    1. Right you are, EF. Here's where you linked to Alan's comment: I'm embarrassed to say that I simply didn't scroll down to see updates. I had already seen it when it just had an Ellen comment on it so I thought that ground was already covered. Apologies for not acknowledging that you found it first!

      The remaining Qs I will answer in a post.

  2. Men are for the most part worthless, other than our need for them to inseminate us so we can bear children. Once that is done, we should tell them to leave.

    I do not think Ellen should settle for Sam either. Not sure what religion he is, but per Ellen, he is not circumcised, so even aside from hygiene issues, that could be a problem if she is religious.

  3. Don't count me out. I am circumcised so dad could approve of me if I were to take her off his hands. But again, I am not sure the sex would be worth all the grief!