Saturday, May 25, 2013

[Away MES'SAGE]

Reader's, ELLENWatch is on a brief hiatus as of this post. My DAD say's blogging makes my tuchus bigger and I need to take at least a week off to loose 8 pound's. I'm very sorry for the inevitable deprivation of your thrice-daily, but surely you understand!

If you would LIKE to help me stay up to date, and fill in critical gaps upon my return, please po'st Ellen comments below (and feel free to add your own wisdom since I've temporarily abdicated). I'd be very grateful and will of course cite you for the collegial efforts.

If you need an additional Ellen fix please visit the "greatest Hitts" tab. I was going to run a serie's of repost faves while I was away, but in our shared mission I thought the collection of missed COMENTS more valuable.

THANK'S to the Hive!
FREINDS on this websight!
YOUR'S TRUELY
ELLENWatch

67 comments:

  1. Enjoy your break. We'll miss you. I note you were slowing down but I'd rather catch Ellen's posts here -- with your sage commentary-- than having to scroll thru the piles of tripe looking for those precious gems myself.

    For what it's worth, I don't know why all the focus on luring a guy with food. I would recommend she learn Ashram yoga. Once she can get her ankles behind her earlobes, most guys will marry her, and she wiil be on track to meet her baby schedule with the old lady with the ca$h.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This guy has the right idea, but I am far better for Ellen than some dork named Henry.

      Delete
  2. Here, here. I agree with Henry, tho a girl need not be that nimble to attract a guy. She need only come to the conclusion that consensual relations is a good thing, even if it means having to launder her sheets earlier than planned. As long as Ellen is so petty, I would never marry her or even risk rolling in her satin sheets. She seems intent on conning some unsuspecting soul into marriage based on the false premise that she's a cook and a homemaker. Yes she wants kids, but what she really wants is a meal ticket. If not, she could merely get a sperm donor. She justs wants a guy to impregnate her so that he can go out and work to support her fat tuchus for the next 20years! All that jerk is going to get out of it is to listen to her bossy attitude, and have the "privilege" of having sex with her 3 or 4 times a year, on her schedule and based on her needs. That way she can tell the world all about hervaginal sacrifices and.milk this poor jerk dry. After the kids are grown, this fat assed wonder will file for divorce and find some other dufus to support her. No, not worth a hump, even now, while she still has some visual attractiveness. The future is too hideous to justify it.

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    Replies
    1. NO way would I let Ellen turn into a shrew like this. I am a decent guy and she'd be very accommodating to me. This guy probably was "whipped" by a bossy broad and couldn't take it or do anything about it. I can.

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    2. Or maybe he was a jerk, like you!

      Delete
  3. Gosh, 2 men and one so bitter! Men should not be posting here anyway, but we think Ellenwatch has performed a valued service and we look forward to her return.

    We think Ellen is losing sight of the bigger picture; I.e., career success. How in the world is impressing a bald shrimp going to help her achieve her goal to be a judge or law partner / professor? She should not have to cook for a man nor, for that matter, even admit him to her apartment!

    Our experience has been to keep our partners far away from our residences because they've interpreted such overtures as bedroom invitations which become very awkward to deal with, particularly when wine is involved.

    No, our consensus is for Ellen to forget about Philip and the $50,000 from Leyeh, because if Philip finds out, he will interpret it as a free ticket to Ellen's nether regions, and we cannot fathom the thought of any self-respecting woman pleasuring another short bald investment banker, as we' ve all been there and done that, and we're not proud of it. We don't want Ellen to do the same Walk of Shame we have with losers who promise but don't deliver.

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    1. I know this woman, and she hates me. The sunshine girls did put out and got nothing back. I would never screw a girl that way. If I say I am going to do something, I will. Those women thought the partners would marry them if they did what the partners wanted, and they put out, but the partners never left their wives for any of the Sunshine Girls, except for one paralegal who wound up getting pregnant and marrying one of the younger partners. That shouldn't count since she did not have a JD degree.

      Delete
    2. Do not listen to this oaf. Women have more morality than this.

      Delete
  4. Here is an interesting post from Ellen that I came across that is worth a look. Evidently, Ellen has seen a therapist (but is now cured of Alan)--Yay!

    Ellen :
    05/29/2013 at 10:45 am
    It is NOT a bad thing to see a counselor. In fact, when I was thru with Alan, I saw a theraepist for 2 month’s. She told me I was the better person to get OUT of a stifeleing relationship, and that NO ONE deserved to be treated as a maid and a sexueal object. FOOEY ON HIM!

    That, she said is the PRODUCT of alchoholism. She wanted me to go to Al Anon, but the NAME was to close to Alan, so I decideded I was OVER him, and when I did, that was it.

    The manageing partner paid for those treatement’s OUT OF POCKET b/c he knew how valueable I was to the FIRM and that I would be over him soon, b/c there were SO many other men at that time that wanted to date me. I agreed to take the remembursement and now I am ALL better. YAY!!!!!



    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She would never need a therapist if she was with me. She might need some over the counter stuff, but I can pay for that.

      Delete
  5. Here is another good one. She does not think much of the DC legal crowd.

    Ellen :
    05/28/2013 at 4:38 pm
    Unless you have unlimited time and fund’s, I can NOT imagine goeng to DC to start meeting peeople in the goverment agencies about a job. Unless thing’s have changed radically since I was a law student at GW, nearly all of the peeople who work in the goverment law department’s are faceless bureaucrat’s with absoluetely no authority to do anything execept mabye call a supervisor, who can call another supervisor ,who then can have a meeting. When I worked there, nothing new got done, and it was nearly impossible to get rid of a guy who onley looked out the window at women all day. I say they should have fired him, but they onley reassigned him to an office in Maryland. FOOEY! Now the women in Maryland are getting rated, and I am sure that doosh is goieng to get a pension from the goverment that my DAD says he is payeing for. FOOEY!

    I had a wardrobe issue today walkeing to work. I stepped in poopie on 3rd Avenue, and could not get it out of my Nike Air shoe’s by the time I got to work. So I had to walk in and leave it in the bathroom soakeing in the sink with some water in it. Frank came in and got mad b/c it made the sink dirty, but what else could I do? The manageing partner said I should have used the bathroom in the hall, but I did NOT want to leaave 1 shoe in the bathroom. He said he would have b/c no one would steal one shoe, but he does not know the mainenentce peeople who ALWAYS stare at me. I am sure they would take my shoe and hang it up somewhere, b/c then they could control my walkeing. So I said I would do it again if I had to and the manageing partner told Frank not to be to sensitive to the smell, b/c he makes his own smell in there. DOUBEL FOOEY! Frank is still mad at me but I can NOT do anything about that. YAY!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with Ellen that government lawyers are the dumbest. She's got to be more careful and not step in crap, which is not that easy to avoid in NY City. I keep wondering though if the managing partner has ever gotten any from Ellen? She never said so, but I tend to wonder.

      Delete
  6. The Chicken was a bust. Let's hope Ellen can still get some kind of kid out of Philip, even if not through cooking:

    Ellen :
    05/28/2013 at 12:48 pm
    I personally love low heel’s, but Dad says that I am to short to wear low heel’s b/c I look dumpy! FOOEY ON DAD! So what if I am not as tall and svelte as Rosa! Men still want to date me. FOOEY!

    Mom tried the chicken out on Dad (and me). Dad did not like it. He said Ptooey as he spit out some GARNISH. He also said it was tasteless! Mom said she followed the recipe but Dad said it was luckyshe did NOT cook that for him 34 year’s ago, or she would STILL be a SPINSTER! Mom was hurt at that and even I said she had other men after her.

    Dad did not like the partnership stuff either. He demanded that I call a meeting with Frank to go over the insureance policie’s and the ethics stuff. He said that mabye he would go to the CLE also, b/c he want’s to find out what he is getteing into with the liabielty issue’s. FOOEY! I do NOT want my dad sitteing in with me, even if he pay’s to get in! Mabye he should go and just tell me what they said. He can give me the CLE certifiecate and I will just say I went!

    I texted Philip and said there could not be a meal yet b/c I have to start with another recipe. He did NOT mind (something tells me he is NOT that excited about me). FOOEY! I will report back on the BEACH next time, but I got in to work late b/c I had a wardrobe mafuinction. FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The hell with Chicken. I'd let her eat whatever she wanted, and that would include foods that I liked. I can teach this woman to cook, and she'd like what I gave her. All she'd be responsible for is to keep me happy for dessert. That is hardly too much to ask.

      Delete
  7. More on Ellen's billing syndrome. I think she is crazy to over bill like this, but what do I know. I am only a 3rd year associate!

    Ellen :
    05/23/2013 at 1:37 pm
    I dress conserveatively b/c the manageing partner will not preapprove thing’s that are too riskee, even tho FRANK want’s me to wear low cut blouse’s and short skirt’s b/c it give’s him something to look at. FOOEY on him b/c he has a wife and kid’s so he does not need my clotheing to show him something he should be seeing at home. DOUBEL FOOEY!

    I do think that dresseing professional is a good thing b/c you will be respected more on the job. I am sure that if I dressed in COVERALL’s that the judge would NOT take me serious. Dresseing with nice clotheing makes me think more like an attorney at law, even tho I wore jean’s when I took the bar, but still passed it. YAY!!!!!

    I am getteing worried about my billeing, b/c Dad told me I should only bill for ACTUEAL HOUR’s Worked, when that is NOT what the manageing partner taught me. I learned that I am to bill 3000-3200 hour’s each year, irrespective of ACTUAL TIME SPENT. The manageing partner gave me a chart, outleining how long each task should take, which I am FREE to modify in MY discretion. For example, every telephone call should be billed in 6 minute increment’s. So if I talk for 1 minute, I bill for 6. Every letter should be at least 1.6 hours, includeing drafteing, proofeing, and sending. On top of that, I have to uplift each task by 35% for paraleagal suport, even tho I have NO suport from any paraleagal. The manageing partner said I am my OWN best paraleagal. YAY for billeing, but bad for ethiceacal purposes. I will find out after I take the ABA Webainar soon, but now I think that the manageing partner may be over billeing. FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I cant comment on Ellen's math skills, but she would only have to worry about a few things if we got married, and billing would not be one of them. She would only need minimal clothing, which I would help her shop for. I would make a great husband for her, provided that she changed her ways and listened to everything I had to say, which I think she would, particularly since she needs to pop out a kid within a year or so.

      Delete
    2. We can only pray it's not by you!

      Delete
  8. I am not sure we all have appreciated all that Ellenwatch does for us, and perhaps we even take her for granted. It is a real pain in the tuchis to
    (1) go through each string of posts to find Ellen's posts
    (2) copy each of the posts
    (3) paste each of the posts on to this website, and, most important of all;
    (4) provide a witty commentary that helps us neophytes to understand the post in context, both with respect to the thread in question and with respect to Ellen's past history.

    Let me tell you, it is not easy, so I congratulate Ellenwatch for her efforts. It is perhaps #4 that I find to be the most difficult, as I do not have a lot of new and interesting things to add. My boyfriend calls me a "corporate tool" and perhaps he is not that far off the mark, though he is no Jay Leno either. In fact, since he has no Idea that I am doing this, I say he is somewhat of a dork himself, with little originality in his own right! (Fooey on him). Ellenwatch must spend a lot of time thinking up good things to say in connection with each post she finds, so I think all of us readers should not merely sit by passively, but instead must stand up and applaud her for her efforts. So I, in Ellen Parlance, say "YAY, Ellenwatch!"

    Here are the few I came up with. Please do not expect witty commentary from this "corporate tool".


    ===================
    The first post shows that Ellen's father continues to get on her case. She is being both demeaned by dad (short and stubby legs), and dad now is backing down on giving Ellen the one thing she still needs for credibility (Partnership in the law firm). Without partnership, the last few years will be for naught. Dad is a real jerk!


    Ellen :
    05/29/2013 at 5:50 pm

    Me also. I am also to squat to get away with a micro mini skirt, mainley b/c my leg’s are to short and stubby, my dad say’s. It hasn’t stopped guy’s from wanting to date me (and more), so I am NOT compleaining. Dad just got an “EXECUTIEIVE SUMMARY” of the firm policie’s and he is very mad. FOOEY! I think Dad want’s me to pull out from the partnership even BEFORE I am a partner! How can I get a man if I am NOT a partner? FOOEY!


    ================

    The second post deals with controlling our spending. As women, this may be a problem, particularly for Ellen. As she writes, she has dad do everything in the financial department for her, but now she needs a Hubby to take this task over for him and manage Ellen. A true dilemma for any guy to come into this family! Clearly Ed has had to put up with a lot of crap to have married Rosa, but she sounds like she is worth it to him in terms of looks at least, though we have nothing to explain how well educated she is. If things go bad in the marriage, could she ever support herself without Ed in the picture? God only knows, but let's pray she has more inate intelligence than Ellen, or she will be sunk! (Fooey!)

    Ellen :
    05/29/2013 at 4:50 pm

    Yes, thanks to KAT. I figured out along time ago that I was NOT the best person to be in charge of money. I know how to make money, and also how to spend alot of it. Because of this, I have a probelem saveing.

    To fix the probelem, I have my dad manage all of my finanence’s for me! He write’s all of the check’s, pay’s all of the bill’s and tell’s me what I can and cannot buy each month.

    Since haveing Dad manage my saveing’s I have save’d alot! Now he is ready to turn me over to my new husband, if I can find one, to manage me. YAY!
    Reply

    ReplyDelete
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    1. If she dated me, I would take charge of the finances, Dad. She would not overspend because I would not give her any more than she needed for busfare and a light lunch. I would have her with me over the weekends, where I would exercise fiscal prudence with her, permitting her only to buy what was necessary. I doubt she'd complain because she'd be so much taken by me and my attributes that she would no longer need to shop for fun. I would provide all the fun that she could handle, primarily through indoor sports.

      Delete
    2. Dad is going to let her marry this ape? I don't think so!

      Delete
  9. It is looking real bad for the partnership. Ellen did not even attend the CLE, but Dad did and he is nixing the partnership, even if there is no buy-in! This is bad news for Ellen, as in her mind, she can never hope to land a decent guy without the partnership credential.

    Irrespective of the merits of that position, if she does not get married, she still can be a judge or a professor of law. Just remind me not to enroll in that law school! FOOEY!

    ++++++++++++++

    Ellen :
    05/30/2013 at 10:20 am

    I agree! It is Lucky it is a manequuin b/c the tuchus is to perfect to be real! Otherwise my dad would NEVER stop bothereing me about mine.

    My dad attended the ABA Ethic’s Webinar for me and he NOW tell’s me that I should NOT be a partner, even if there is NO capital contribution! OMG! Now I am literally screwed if I agree. He says that the partnership is under insured, under CAPITALIZED, and is doieng alot of things that are NOT to ethical, so I should NOT be a partner to this MESS (his word’s!).

    I was counteing on being a Partner, b/c Myrna said my marketeability will increase exponeentieally if I was a Partner, but Now I have my dad saying FOOEY to the whole enchelada! I do NOT want to put good money after bad, he says, and it was lucky he sat in on the CLE, he told me, b/c that sealed the deal for him.

    I am NOT sure what I am goieng to do now, mabye just be a judge or a law professeaor, but he does NOT want for me to be a partner. He said I could stay, but NOT in an EQUITEY capacity (whatever that mean’s).

    I am goieing to get more detail from Dad when Myrna and I go there this weekend to discuss b/c Myrna has alot of financial expereience that I do NOT so she can advice me also. DOUBEL FOOEY, b/c I want men to see what a sucess I am and if I am NOT a judge or a partner, I am NOT sure I can.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would take Ellen's tuchis however big or small it turns out to be. I have seen it, and I liked what I saw. Give me a shot, Ellenwatch. Put in a good word for me. I will keep it legal, I promise!

      Delete
  10. Hello, I would like to take some of the burden off of Aline by posting for Ellenwatch. You can see below that Ellen is not having a good day. Her partnership dreams have been thwarted by Dad, unless of course she is somehow going to be able to pony up the money herself. I think the managing partner may get really mad because he needs the money for the partnership (or the boat), and that could prove problematical. Also, Ellen's personal life is in bad shape. No boyfriend, no prospects and just a tuchus that is not getting any smaller. I feel like Myrna should do more to help Ellen in her personal life. If Myrna is so attractive, she should double date with Ellen, and get someone other than Philip for Ellen to muse over. Ellen herself should consider modifying her morays a bit to go with the times. I understand that she should not sleep around, but with proper precautions, she should be able to enjoy a sex life while sampling men otherwise deemed worthy of her in bed. I also agree she should not do anything in bed, but again, with proper precautions, she can become happier than she is. I know that my boyfriend has done wonders for me to calm me down, both in and out of bed, and if Ellen had a confidant she was sleeping with, she would be a lot less irritable than she is now. I would vote for Ellen to engage safely with various men and see where it goes.

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    Ellen :
    05/30/2013 at 3:02 pm

    I LOVE this tote Bag! Mabye one day dad will stop telling me I have to use my LIT bag for EVERYTHING! I would like to carry some thing else around at least 2x a week, b/c that give’s me a chance to clean out what is in there and REPLACE what I need and take out what I do NOT need.

    Now I wind up carrying around alot of thing’s that I do NOT need. I finaly pulled a pair of rabbit fur mittens out of there b/c it is 90 degrees OUT now! FOOEY! I should tell dad that, but he is such a stickeler about buying new thing’s. Mom still use’s the same purse from 2001 when I first started college. FOOEY on that! I would NEVER use the same purse for SO MANY YEAR’S!

    Dad is goieing to tell the manageing partner “NO SOAP” on my job, meaneing that I am NOT goieing to be a partner. FOOEY! I think I will be like Madeline, who has been here foreever as a senior associate. I wonder if the manageing partner will consider me the same way, and take away my clotheing allowance now? FOOEY! I do NOT want to be treated like her. DOUBEL FOOEY! I have to see if I can talk to the judge and see if he think’s that I can get into the Judiceairy with him. I now have alot of thinkeing to do. This is stink-o! FOOEY! And no man to fall back on either. I am realy haveing a bad day. FOOEY! FOOEY! FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like this Melinda broad. Maybe she'll date me if Ellenwatch doesn't set me up with Ellen. She seems to be pretty open to safe sex, as I am.

      Delete
    2. I think men like this cannot be trusted alone with women. To a guy like this, When it comes to bedroom activity, if a woman says no she means yes, and if a woman says yes, she means do anything you want.

      Ellen should stay away from this guy and all other Kutza-like creatures who are like him.

      Delete
    3. I think this is a Sunshine Girl who is afraid to be named. I could name one or 2 but am not sure and do not want a libel case on my hands. Suffice it to say that these broads do not like amu men who has sex with women. They are losers.

      Delete
  11. Here is a new one! Yay!

    Ellen :
    05/31/2013 at 3:18 pm

    Yay! Open thread’s! I love Open thread’s! Kat, there is some jerk useing my name and posting here. This has happened before, but I did NOT say anything, but I onley put in ONE comment per post so as to give others the right to post and so as NOT to clutter up the websight.

    As for the OP, I feel for you. I just had my career aspireation’s thwarted by my DAD b/c he does NOT want to for me to put money into the partnership b/c he think’s the manageing partner is MISmanageing the partnership. But Myrna said this could be a blessing in disguese b/c I should NOT want to be a part of a partnership where I am the onley one doing alot of work and am carrying the other’s. FOOEY!

    Today, I took the M34 bus over to Macy’s b/c they are haveing a BIG sale this weekend and it was to hot to walk over there. When I got on the bus, I had to stand, and some guy grabbed my tuchus when I was holdeing on to the railing. At first I did NOT know he did that–I thought he just bumped into me, but when he did it again, he squeezed my tuchus and I got mad. I told him that this was improper and he should squeeze his OWN tuchus but NOT mine. Another gentelman saw what he did and he told him that he would turn him in to the MTA unless he got off immedeaitely! The guy got scared and ran off. I think he had just eaten a potatoe knish b/c he left some greasy stuff on my dress. I was goieing to send this dress to the dry cleanear’s any way, but that was VERY stupid of him to do. I also should have walked to Macy’s and gotten FITBIT credit, but it is SOOOOOO hot today! FOOEY!

    Tomorrow, Myrna and I am going to my house and mom and dad are takeing us out to dinner. Myrna will help me on the financenial aspects of the partnership thing after talking to DAD. Have a good weekend everybody, and Kat, I wonder why somebody is trying to make me look dumb. FOOEY on that. YAY if you can tell them to stop!

    Now

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How come this guy got to squeeze Ellen's ass?

      Delete
    2. You have no claim on her so buzz off!

      Delete
    3. You have no claim on her so buzz off!

      Delete
  12. Hi, As you know, I am a big Ellen fan and see there are phonies out there posting for her. I can smell out the real Ellen and want to get my chance with her. Now that she's not with Phil, I think I have a shot. Ellenwatch, when you come back, put in a good word for me. I know that I can provide a much better experience for her than Philip, especially given the Pecorino Romano I have.
    Ellen :
    05/31/2013 at 12:58 pm

    I LOEV my IKEA mattres! But I got it before there was an IKEA in Brooklynn, and I had to go all the way to Elisabeht, New JERZY to get it! FOOEY!
    Reply

    Ellen :
    05/31/2013 at 1:24 pm

    This is a fake, and NOT me. I am alot smarter then this imitator! FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Look at the service I am providing for all readers! All I want is the chance to Service Ellen! Is that so bad? I make a 6 figure salary, have a decent co-op in Brooklyn Heights and have seen her tuchus and think I can get it down a size or two with proper bedroom exercise. Give me a chance, Ellen! I will take you to this deli and you can sample the finest of meats that will make pastrami dull. Help me out, Ellenwatch.

    Ellen :
    05/31/2013 at 10:28 am

    Yay!!!! I love fruegel friday’s but I am with you! Once we are OVER 30, our bodie’s flab out. I have to use the FITBIT every day to make sure that I get alot of exercise in the leg’s and that help’s my TUCHUS too, Dad tells me. He monitor’s my move’s EVERY NITE, b/c I have to go back to my MACBOOK AIR to synk my FITBIT to the Internet, and he can watch exactely how many step’s I am doing and how many caloreies I am burneing. FOOEY! The one thing he does NOT know about is the CRUMBS cupcake’s b/c I pay CASH for these. Otherwise he would see my DEBITT CARD usage. FOOEY on that, but I have him OUTSMARTED! YAY!!!!!!

    This morning I walked past a new DELI that is haveing a special on Pastrami next week. I hope the meat is fresh and clean and NOT old and skeevey. FOOEY! Does any one in the HIVE like Pastrami and know if the place on Madison a little below 42nd (on the left side) is any good? I alway’s am LOOKEING for a good deli, and Pastrami Queen is my fave! Yay!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Here's my final plea! Look at what an independent third party, Melinda had to say:

    She is encouraging Ellen to be receptive to sex with new men (such as me!) I guarantee that I will be gentle, and would only do what she wanted, as much as she wanted me to. I am very respectful of women and do not go anywhere that they do not say yes to. Come on, Ellenwatch and Ellen, give me a shot. I will not let you down, figuratively or literally! You'll forget all about these other guys after you've sampled my wares.

    Melinda :
    05/30/2013 at 7:13 pm

    Hang in there, Ellen! It could be a lot worse. I suggest you forget about the partnership and Philip and focus on new men and new experiences at work. Sure you can become a judge, in time, or a professor, but for the time being, just keep working hard in the law firm. You can bill and do what you are doing well, and it sounds like you have the managing partner wrapped around your finger. I would go out and date other men, and be receptive to the possibility of bringing some of them home, in time, for sexual activities. It is not a sin, and if you take precautions, you will not get an STD or pregnant. Your overall mood will also improve with the right guy to hang with. I think you should get with Myrna, and see if she can set you up with a guy. Enough with Dad. He is an a–h***le, even if he was in MENSA. I once dated a MENSA guy and he had a lot of problems. Don’t worry about marrying and having a child within a year, tho it could happen. Be nice to the Grandma and she could leave you the $50K in her will, even if you do not marry a guy first. Stay calm and all will be well. Peace be with you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What about me, dammit! I am here waiting to give Ellen the time of her life in the sack. Why can't Ellenwatch or some one else introduce us properly?

      Delete
  15. Gosh, I wish Ellenwatch would get back here. Her tuchis should be diminutive by now!

    Here is a good one about how Ellen became an expert in WC law. She really took the bull by the horns here!

    Ellen :
    06/03/2013 at 9:36 am

    This is a very interesting question! (BTW, great blouse, but to open! I do NOT want Frank stareing in, Kat! and happy Monday to the HIVE)….

    I kind of faced this situation with the manageing partner. For year’s they had a guy, Fred, who did PI and WC defense, but he left the firm in a huff when he said that the manageing partner cheated him out of his share. They NEVER told me this, but MADELEINE confieded this in me when we were still freind’s.

    So when the manageing partner brought me in, he wanted me to step into Fred’s shoe’s, and do all of the PI and WC work that he could NOT take with him. So in a way I had to redefine myself from a law student who could serve subpeenea’s into a litiegator, all in a matter of a few month’s! I was NOT sure I was up for the task, but Alan told me I could do it, and he was NOT drunk most of the time, like he became after I became a sucess at the firm. He was a CPA and mabye they drink alot; whatever, he is OUT of my life.

    So if you are doieng a job description, just write down what you do NOW. Mabye if you do more you will get a BONUS later for doieng more. Also, it may be smart to ask for a clotheing allowance. I am worried that MINE will be cut b/c I have to tell the manageing partner about NOT takeing the partnership offer. My dad said he would tell him but I have to get that done b/f June 30. UGH! It is very dificult to be a sucess b/c peeople are alway’s demanding thing’s of us! FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Melinda, if she could take the bull by the horns, she'll have no trouble with my Pecorino Romano. She will learn a lot more than how to serve "subpeenea's" with me. Yo!

      Delete
  16. This one has to do with how much makeup Ellen wears to work. She will do anything the MP says that will get the case won!

    Ellen :
    06/03/2013 at 2:24 pm

    Me too. NO makeup execept when I go into court when the manageing partner MAKES me wear red lipstick and red nail polish that matche’s.

    The manageing partner says that the JUDGE like’s it when I have red, b/c it is very contrasteing with my blond hair and his first wife had blond hair. I said why does he care if he is NOT married to her any more, and the manageing partner say’s he STILL hold’s out a TORCH for her.

    What does a torch have to do with me? I asked and the manageing partner says just wear the red lipstick and nailpolish. It is the onley makeup that he reimburese’s me for so I wear it. YAY!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't like dames who wear a lot of makeup. It only gets messed up when they start moving around in bed.

      Delete
  17. This is about Ellen's pet peeves when trying to use a workout room/gym. The guys just won't leave this poor girl alone, even with a big tuchis!

    Ellen :
    06/03/2013 at 5:15 pm

    My PEEVE is that guy’s do NOT let me work out without talkeing to me when I am tryeing to work out. I usueally use the ellepticyal machine and once in a while the rowers, and no matter which one I am on, the same guy’s come over, like a magnet, to hang out next to me and ocassionally tell me what I am doeing wrong! I told them there is NOTHING I can do wrong on an ellpticyal machine, b/c all I have to do is walk up and down and move the arms back and foward, so there. But I think these guy’s realy just want to talk to me, and it has become a bit of a challenge to them to come up and talk to me, so I do NOT get mad at them. But it is my pet peeve. If onley these guys’ had something interesting to say, I would LISTEN! FOOEY!


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She will have nothing to complain about if she works out with me. She may have a sore booty, but that is something she will surely like. She'll be asking for more, so I don't think its a bad thing for her, and she can shed 10 lbs in the tuchus by working out with me.

      Delete
  18. Here, Ellen is spouting off about the gift tax implications associated with her home ownership. She also raises a new legal issue:

    Promisory Estopoppell, whatever that is! How about that for a new legal theory!

    Ellen :
    06/04/2013 at 10:26 am

    Gus is right. My dad told me he and MOM have been gifteing me money every year on a gift tax form so that the apartement will be mine even tho he already paid for it. I am NOT sure how this is done, but he is NOT paying any taxes and I get a free apartement even tho I had no real saveing’s. YAY!!!!

    Dad called the manageing partner this morning on a confrence call to tell him I would NOT be a partner. The manageing partner seemed very quiet, and then said he was relyeing on the contribution, and it was NOT a legal probelem, but I should consider the doctrine of PROMISORY ESTOPOPPEL??!!!???

    What in the world does this PRROMISORY ESTOPOPEL have to do with me and my partnership? I rememember that in law school this was something I read about in Contract’s or Tort’s, but I never used it again. Does anyone in the hive know what he was talkeing about? I hope he is NOT refering to my clotheing allowance? FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd give Ellen a gift that is not capable of being valued for IRS purposes. I do not think the IRS is going to tax me for the price of my services to her in the sack, even though similar services by females to males have been so valued.

      Delete
  19. An interesting posting thought from Ellen as to when we gals should pay. Ellen elicits a nasty response from Amy on this one! A Fooey from her!

    Ellen :
    06/04/2013 at 1:28 pm

    No, do NOT offer to pay. You are the INTERN and you are mabye not getting paid alot if at all, and your boss invited YOU. Women should onley pay when they invite a man (who is subordinnat) to go out and even then should NOT pay if the guy reache’s for his Wallett.

    When I go out with the manageing partner, sometime’s I pay, but I ALWAYS bill it back to a cleint anyway, so it does NOT realy matter.

    If a guy cleint invite’s you out for lunch and it is a cleint, let him pay, unless he think’s it is a date, and then you pay and then bill him back thru the monthly billeing’s. That way, he can not expect anything sexueal from you and he is paying anyway! YAY!!!!

    If you go out with a group of peeople, men and women, offer to pay and pay if other ladie’s are paying, but if the men want to be big, they will pay, but do NOT under any cicusmtance’s let a guy do anything afterward’s if they pay, b/c it is only a few buck’s out of pocket. FOOEY on men who want sex for the price of dinner! FOOEY!
    Reply

    Amy :
    06/04/2013 at 4:18 pm

    This is about work events. Gender should not be a factor in determining who pays and how much. I find it really offensive that you suggest that the rules for men and women in business settings are different.

    (Then again, I don’t take advice from people who can’t spell simple two-syllable words anyway…)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. These broads are so calculating. If a guy pays for a broad's meal, she should be willing to put out. Maybe not full-on sex on the first date, but by the third date, she should dress very "comfortably" so as to be able to slip out of whatever she is wearing and be friendly to the guy who just paid for her meal. If she is not a good dessert, the guy should leave and never return.

      Delete
  20. Ellenwatch, where are you? I had a lot of difficulty locating, copying pasting and then posting these comments here!

    You are so valuable to all of us. Come back!

    We don't care if you have a fat tuchus! Ellen does and look at all of the guys she is getting!

    You can even slack off if you want, but come back soon! Besides, we need you to put Vincent Kutza back in his place. Somehow, he thinks he is entitled to get the inside track on Ellen. As she would say, no way Jose!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Melinda, I thought you'd be cool, but now I think you are no better than the other females that are mad because I am not interested in sleeping with anyone other than Ellen. I'd give you a whirl for your money, but do not want to jeopardize my chances with Ellen for what would surely be a boring (and potentially odiferous) experience with you.

      Delete
  21. Here is this ESTOPPEPPEL again! What is this anyway?


    Ellen :

    06/05/2013 at 9:44 am


    Oooh! You are so lucky to be abel to wear skinny jean’s! When I was 25, I think I still could, but siting on my tuchus workeing for the manageing partner has made this feet now imposible!

    The manageing partner is mad at me and keep’s mumbeling:

    “PROMISSORY ESTOPOPPEL, PROMISSORY ESTOPOPPEL”.

    Does any one in the hive know what he is talkeing about? FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

      Delete
  22. Here she is complaining why she is not able to be a model....Is there a new guy on the horizon?


    Ellen :

    06/05/2013 at 1:32 pm


    I am klutzey so when I was about 8, I fell on the playground and cut under my chin. I now have a VERY LITTEL scar under my chin, but just noticable enough so that I could NOT be a model (tuchus aside). Rosa is slimmer then me and she has no scars so she has been a model in alot of famous magazine’s. If I were a model, I would NOT have EVER been a lawyer. FOOEY! But I am NOT so I am a lawyer. At least I have a job (for NOW) YAY!

    My dad has a freind in the neighborhood that has a cousin and want’s to meet me. The cousin is 36 (maybe OK, tho not sure), and has a job (great) as an illustreator (don’t know what that is). He works in NYC (great) but live’s in Harlem (FOOEY). I am wondereing if I should meet him? I can NOT waste to much time if he is not a match. FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are plenty cute enough for me, even if you do have a scar on your chin. As long as you are pliable, you will be a hit with me, and you will love every minute of your time with me.

      Delete
  23. Here is a great one, encouraging early marriage and pregnancy thereafter! NO FREE MILK! YAY!!!


    Ellen :

    06/04/2013 at 5:20 pm


    Since you think he is the ONE, then go for it NOW. Your egg’s are NOT getting any frescher then they are NOW, and why wait. Hopefully he feel’s the same way you do, and if he does is NOT it better to get mooving on it NOW so that you can be MARRIED sooner rather then later? I say YAY to you for askeing.

    There is NO downside to askeing. I waited to long for Alan, and then he weazeled away, prefering the BOTTEL to me. FOOEY on him and men who do NOT committ to a awoman who does everything for them.

    You have a good man. Ask him now, but do NOT moove in with him or get pregenent until you know he is to MARRY you! DO NOT GIVE HIM FREE MILK. YAY!!!!!!




    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love to drink milk, especially if it is free. I hate paying for the cow. That is why I am looking here for Ellen to be the next gal willing to sample my Romano.

      Delete
  24. Ellen :
    06/07/2013 at 9:16 am

    Yay! Fruegel Friday’s! I love Fruegel Friday’s! Kat, I love the blouse, but an Express Blouse at $49.50 not that fruegel! Besides, FRANK would be stareing at my boobie’s with this one. Way to low cut and I do NOT want him getting free looks at me, especialy b/c I think he is lookeing at dirty picture’s on the INTERNET instead of workeing. FOOEY on him b/c he is MARRIED and should NOT be lookeing at picture’s of women other then his WIFE, and even then not NOT picture’s of her without her clotheing on. DOUBEL FOOEY!

    The manageing partner want’s my dad to come out this SUNDAY to go for a boat ride in his NEW boat, and talk turkey. I did NOT think my dad wanted to go, but he doe’s and he is goeing to tell me all about it. I am not abel to go b/c I promised Roberta that Myrna and I would do some VOLUNTER work in the Bronx this weekend at Wave Hill where Roberta volutneer’s. The manageing partner was thrilled that I am so freindly with the cleint. He says for me to talk a little buseiness so that I can add in a littel BILLEING’s as long as I am goeing and he said I should pay for lunch for all 3 of us and bill it back later. I said that sounded a little creepy b/c this is NOT buseiness, but he said he would find a wayto do it; mabye by tackeing on some more hourlei’s for Lynn on their account. I said she doe’s NOTHING for Roberta’s account so she should NOT be billeing, but the manageing partner says she review’s my breif’s with him b/f we file them.

    Have a great weekend to everyone in the HIVE. I hope I meet a guy @ Wave Hill b/c I still have NOT figured out how to cook anything better, and Philip is NOT texteing me. FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ellen at least has some scrupules. The managing partner is a jerk.

      Delete
  25. Ellen on studying for the Bar? Oy!

    Ellen :
    06/06/2013 at 3:45 pm
    Yes, good luck! You can do it! Yay!!!

    And study every day b/c you do NOT want to do this again. I swore I would NEVER take the bar twice and did NOT take the DC bar b/c I did NOT want to be a goverment lawyer unless I had to. Thank God for the manageing partner comeing along (actualy it was me who bumped into him), so I onley had to take the NY Bar.

    You have PLENTY of time. This was MY recipe for sucess. If you stick to this you will Pass the bar. YAY!!!!! First, go to class in the morning every morning and do NOT skip out (approx. 9-12), then take an hour off for lunch, walkeing and socializeing, then from 2-6 go to the LIBRARY to study (you can get up once an hour for 5 minutes to walk, go to the toilet and get something to drink), eat diner at 6, rest in front of the TV until about 7 or 7:30, then read for tomorrow about 3 hours until 10:30 or so. This will give you time to watch a littel TV, and Jay Leno, and mabye a little more, then go to bed and get rest and do it all over again tomorrow. YAY!!!!

    Oh, I LOVE THE BAG, but a littel to expensive for me. Dad would skewer me if I showed up with it. FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She left out one thing I did while studying for the bar. Since I was so hyped up during the day, when I finally got home, I spent 30-60 minutes in the sack with my then-girlfriend "de-stressing". I also passed the bar my first time out, and after my full time legal job started, found the first of about 3 paralegals to "de-stress" with. I am now over them and hoping that Ellen will be available for "de-stressing".

      Delete
  26. Oy! Ellen on the golf course as a caddie? The father, for having all that money, sounds a little cheap to make her drag his clubs around!

    Ellen :
    06/06/2013 at 3:37 pm
    This sound’s right. I do NOT golf, but my dad has made me come to go with HIM twice already to the golf course as his Kaddie. He said I can count the FITBIT steps AND carry his bag. He think’s that he is helpeing me, but all I am doieng is SWEATEING out there.

    Also, I think he is cheep b/c he is NOT payeing me and would have to pay a real Kaddie. FOOEY!

    I can NOT fake my steps and I am soooooooo tired after walkeing around with him for 3 hour’s in the SUN. DOUBEL FOOEY!

    I know it is good for me, but realy! I perfer to work out at the gym and do my step’s goeing to work on MADISON AVENUE!

    The peeople on the golf course my dad knows at the clubhouse also like him, but always are stareing at me. You would think they NEVER saw a woman before. TRIPEL FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

      Delete
  27. Ellen giving job hunting advice to a foreign national looking to work here or in the UK. What an expert she is at almost anything! If I were a man, I would not hesitate to marry this woman and get 5 brains for the price of 1.

    Ellen :
    06/06/2013 at 10:23 am
    I would definitely use a recruiter AND apply directly. Because you are NOT a citizen, mabye you should write to the law firm’s that have European conections, like Linkletter’s and Clifford Chance and some other’s which do the stuff that you do. Unfortunatly, our firm does NOT do anything in Europe. You probabley know more about Immigration and VISA’s, so mabye you can also apply to firm’s that do that for companie’s.

    Roberta has alot of peeople in her company that she has to make sure are LEGAL b/c they are NOT US Citizen’s so she uses another FIRM for that. I told the manageing partner about that and he said I should get up to speed on that and GET the business from ROBERTA, but I asked Roberta and she just said it is VERY teckhnical, and I would NOT want to be doeing that in addition to all of the WC cases for her. For some reason the manageing partner says everything is easy, but it is ALWAYS ME that has to do it. I am the WC, PI and Anti-trust expert, and now this? Forget it I said. Even if I was a PARTNER, which I am NOT, I would NOT be abel to be an IMMIGRATION EXPERT, I told him. FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes she is smart, but I do not need to marry her to get the benefits of her brains (and her body). She may not be an expert now on how to please men, but I am a great teacher, and I am sure she could be a very receptive pupil.

      Delete
  28. It sounds like MP is desperate. Now willing to take Ellen on even without a payment for her. This woman must be worth her weight in gold!

    Ellen :
    06/05/2013 at 2:58 pm
    I LOVE the RED, but if it is realy 100% POLLYESTER, FOOEY!

    I could use a new RED suit for court b/c the judge loves me in either white, black or RED, with RED Lipstick, of course! YAY!!!!

    The manageing partner told me he still want’s me as a partner, but NOW he is going to wave the capital cotribution! Wait until I tell DAD! He is goeing to be so pleased that I am such a great negotieator! YAY!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Now some "skeevy" guys at the Gym are looking inappropriately at Ellen when she is in the locker room -- Shades of Porky! We know about her tuchis, but she must have nice boobies!

    Ellen :
    06/05/2013 at 6:18 pm
    I agree with Gus, (who I think is a woman who’s name is mabye Gussie or Gustibus mabye?). You do NOT want to show your boobies or tuchus off if you come to work with your WORKEOUT clothe’s on. When I go to the GYM, it is AFTER work, and sometime’s I change b/f I go b/c I do NOT want to change inside the club.

    There are 2 skeevy men from South America that clean the lockerrooms and add towel’s and soap, and they have come in alot while we are changeing or showering. I do NOT even shower there, there unless I am goeing out afterward and do NOT want to go home first. But I do have to change at least once, and those guy’s walked in and saw me more then once with littel clotheing on. I do NOT want to give men free showeings of my boobies or tuchus. FOOEY on that!

    Reply

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tell me who they are and I will beat the crap out of them. Only I should get a look at Ellen, not some slimy Aliens.

      Delete
  30. I am also "watching for Ellen" and should be given due credit for doing so. I wish Ellen Watch would give me credit, as I am a nice guy who wants Ellen to date, at least for a while, if not marry her. I have sampled a lot of paralegals, but because of the Sunshine Girls, have not been successful in getting any decent lawyers to date me. I am attracted to Ellen, and were her sister not already married, I would have her too. Anyway, here is my contribution to this site today. I see Ellen is going boating after all. I would love to rock her boat in my waterbed. Once she got a taste of my pecorino Romano, I doubt she will want to even think about that little bald guy she went to Morton's with. More importantly, she can spend as much horizontal time she wants at my place, where she can't spend any money. I've included a few lead-in posts, which Ellenwatch doesn't, in order to provide better context for the reader as to what Ellen is yappin' about. I assure you the only yappin she'd be doing with me is saying "do it again, Vinnie, please!!!!!"


    Fantastic letter from a Post writer to the Harvard professor who, in 1961, doubted her fitness for grad school (because, you know, babies):

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/answering-harvards-question-about-my-personal-life-52-years-later/2013/06/06/89c97e2e-c259-11e2-914f-a7aba60512a7_story.html
    Reply

    TBK :
    06/07/2013 at 2:16 pm

    Also, note the still-d!ckish response from the same professor in 2013. (His letter was not simply informing her of the employment realities but demanding that she justify her worth. D!ck.)
    Reply
    Ellen :
    06/07/2013 at 2:35 pm

    Yes, you are SO right. Men simply do NOT take us serious, even if we are NOT married, they think that we are NOT abel to work once we ARE married. I have OFTEN said that even AFTER I am married, I will continue to work, either as a JUDGE, a PARTNER in the law firm, or as a PROFESSEOR of LAW. FOOEY on these MEN for thinkeing otherwise! FOOEY!

    I will be goeing boateing with my dad and the manageing partner on Sunday after all. Myrna has a throat infection and Roberta said we should go up to Wave Hill some other time. I hope it goe’s well with Myrna. I also hope that on Sunday there is no fight’s b/c I do NOT want anyone to capsize over the side of the boat. I am a great SWIMMER as is my dad (he was on the swim team in college), but I am NOT sure about Margie, or the manageing partner. It is also a NEW boat and the manageing partner is NOT that expereniced a BOATER! FOOEY!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OK, Vinnie. Sheriff is back in town, as various deletions will attest. I can't do a full post yet, but you (and your more wholesome colleagues) are relieved of duty as of now. Thank you, sort of.

      Delete
    2. Wonderful. WTF? I get some time to do something, and all of a sudden you come in? Do something positive, will ya? Set me up with Ellen. I want her to appreciate a REAL man!

      Delete
  31. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete