Saturday, January 4, 2014

[BACK]

Ellen suspected Clem was short for Clementine.
Thank's for somehow manageing to make due without me, reader's! I am back and grateful for your understanding. It seem's that preemptively apologizing to the Sunshine Girls, and acknowledging that they will guilt me anyway, actually worked. Then again, they haven't been the most diligent themselves over the holidays...after accusing me of being, or at least vacationing with, Ellen...

Which is why we may still be missing a few post's. I'll amend where I can, but I think we have a pretty good sense here as to how Ellen's trip to Myrtle Beach went. Not sure why Clem got a name--unless he is going to be heard from again or otherwise re-enter the story down the road? Really the only important notes I have from this merry season are:

  1. There was no dude harvest in South Carolina.
  2. Sam kissed Ellen on NYE (at a party at Myrna's).
  3. Ellen actually is a partner at Manageing & MANAGEING LLP, now, unless in a shocking departure from character she has overlooked or ignored some glaring and unpleasant reality about her actual status as compared with her perception thereof. Or unless MP, again in an utterly startling reversal of the norm, has somehow put one over on his pleasantly plump associate and is benefiting from her blissful ignorance.
I do want to take a moment to acknowledge that #3 above, if actually true, represents the first reader request granted from Poll #3, in which I asked what people wanted to happen in Ellen's life. Recall that the time span on these wishes was not the calendar year, but rather the ELLENWatch year, which ends in March (on this baby's second birthday). So we still have time to put a ring on it and get the F rid of Dad before the real celebration!

Hope you all had a lovely stretch without me, and welcome back!

***UPDATE, 1-6:*** Oooleander has filled in the blanks by supplying additional missed post's below. Thank you, Sunshine! I didn't mean to trick you into takeing over my job/tsk-ing me/praising me, but it worked out very well just the same. The only thing I'd add to the above, upon these additions, is that it does indeed look like Clem got a name because he will be re-entering our storyline at some time in the future. Southern lad comes to New York, I suspect? (He's sleeping on Myrna's floor.) 

7 comments:

  1. Welcome back, Ellenwatch. You are right. You missed a lot of posts and I am doing this as a public service to other loyal readers to collect these for the readership. For future reference, it is not hard. Just go into each thread, and if you have a windows machine, enter CTRL+F and insert the word "ellen" in. While it will pick up the word "excellent" (because the word "ellen" is contained inside it, it also picks up all of the ellen posts or other references to her from other posts. When you find one, just copy it (CTRL +C) into a word document, then go back and do the same for each thread. This whole exercise took me all of maybe 15 minutes-- in fact it took me longer to explain it here for the other ellenwatchers than the actual copying and pasting did!

    Anyway, now that I've copied and pasted these, please add your own wisdom so that we can all benefit. Glad you had some nice time away. Let's see if we can't get this girl married off to a guy who will appreciate her. In all likelihood, that will not be Mr. Clementine!

    ----------------------

    01/03/2014 at 9:41 am
    Yay! Fruegel Friday’s! I love Fruegel Friday’s! And I love this tuxedo jacket! I think it can make us look THINNER! Yay!!!! Great find, Cat!
    And happy 2014 to Cat and the Hive! It is so cold that the manageing partner called EVERYONE to give them the day off. That is a good thing for me b/c I still have NOT got a new coat to replace the down coat I gave to NY Care’s, and now I am freezeing my tuchus off when I go out. Dad say’s that mabye that could be a blessing in disguize b/c I have put alot of wieght on since Thank’sgiving, he say’s all of it in the tuchus. FOOEY on him!
    I did alot of walking in SC, but dad was not abel to monitor me there. I found out that he can NOT track my step’s until I bring the FITBIT home and it is blue toothed to my MACBOOK AIR! Who knew? He was mad b/c not all of my step’s got traced either, and he says that unless I do my 10,000 steps, I will ALWAYS have a big tuchus, and I will NEVER find a guy who will want to MARRY me. DOUBEL FOOEY b/c he married mom and she had a big tuchus and I know I am right b/c I saw there wedding picture’s!
    Dad says yes, he married mom, but she could cook, and he said I am useless in the Kitchen, and that no guy will marry a woman who won’t cook for him 6 day’s a week. I said that I am a profesional and do NOT need to cook to keep a guy. He said that the onley guy I had for any amount of time was a drunk. I told him that there are alot of guy’s who wanted me, but he said only for a good time, b/c he had lots of women in Europe who wanted him to marry them and bring them back to the USA, but he said he was not sure until he sampeled them in bed. So they all gave him sex, but he came home to marry a woman with a tuchus who could cook. FOOEY on Dad for haveing sex with all of those women and then marrying mom.
    Clem (the guy from Myrtle Beach) sent me a text. I did NOT give him my number so I am not sure how he did that. He say’s he and his freind want to come to NYC in the spring and want’s to get together. I do NOT want to have anything to do with him or his freind (who beleive it or not was WORSE then Clem). I think Myrna must have given him my number. TRIPEL FOOEY! I think Myrna just want’s me to have a guy, but not that looser!
    Anyway, I have to be positive in 2014, even if I am NOT married. YAY!!!!!!


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  2. There are limits on how much I can put in each post. Therefore I am breaking it up into pieces. Too bad you don't post these. It is a bit of a pain, but I am doing this as a public service, like DiBlasio says, for those less fortunate than me.

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    Ellen :
    01/02/2014 at 1:14 pm
    I agree. When you get MARRIED, it is a SHAREING experience and you should NOT make him pay for everything. By the same token, you should make him pay for some things and you pay for OTHER thing’s. For example, you should continue to pay for lady thing’s–it would NOT be reasonaeable for him to start paying for Tampax but you should NOT be paying for his aftershave and other thing’s he uses to be male.
    WHEN I get MARRIED, I will go on a honeymooon to Cabo San Lucus, b/c it is suposed to be nice there and my husband will agree with me if we are to be MARRIED and go there. For now, I am happy to be here in 2014 even tho I do NOT have a boyfreind, I have a job and a nice boss and a good family releationship with mom, dad, Grandma Leyeh, Rosa, Ed and the kid’s, and even my relative’s who never did return my underwear when they stay’ed over at my place. FOOEY!
    As for Kat’s idea’s on Resolution’s they are all great idea’s that I think I will incorporeate into my own for 2014. For exameple,
    1. Listen more closely to people — I need to listen to the manageing partner so that I do everything right, and make myself even MORE indespensibel then this year (dad says)
    2. Arrive on time for things. This is also me. I am alway’s on time for court, but some times I am late for personal thing’s and this get’s my freind’s upset when they are waiting for me. I will try to be on time. Thanks, Kat!
    3. Arrive early for work. I have to do this even tho Dad make’s me walk with my fitbit and monitor’s me from his computer. I have put on I think about 8 pound’s since thanksgiving and need to walk alot b/c alot of it is in my tuchus and I have to get back into my work clothe’s ASAP! FOOEY!
    4. Continue to exercise and watch diet regularly. This is of course, me. Dad is all over me like a wet blanket about being svelte so that I can attract a guy like Ed who will MARRY me. He says that mom was lucky to snag him b/c she had a fat tuchus and it was only b/c he was in the militeary that he wanted mom then b/c he onley saw alot of men and he needed the comfort of a female’s body (which meant mom) — tho I remember the story I heard where Dad was in Europe haveing sex with pretty girl’s there as a solder I will never tell mom. FOOEY on dad for haveing sex over seas!
    5. DATE more often. This is also me. Kat is lucky she is MARRIED, so she know’s who to date and what to expect. With all the looser’s following me and wanteing to date me, I do NOT know what to expect. Unfortuneately, most men do NOT want me for a wife, just for mabye a littel sex (like that guy Clem), and that is NOT for me. I do NOT want to be married to a duck dynasty reject or have another Alan laying around the house drinkeing Bud Lite and throwing the can’s under the bed. Once I got rid of him, I stopped haveing to have the cleaneing lady scrub the floor’s to get all the beer and alchohol stink out of the rug’s. FOOEY on that and FOOEY on men that lay around drinkeing and thinkeing that b/c they provide sexual release’s for me that that allow’s them to do that. TRIPEL FOOEY! I will ONLEY date men who I can live with 24/7 and who have a great job and who can support me in my lifestyle. In exchange, for the right guy I will provide all the comfort they can handel b/c they support me.
    For now, tho, I will NOT dwell on anything b/c it is 2014, and that is great! Thank’s to the hive for their suport when I need it. YAY!!!!!

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  3. Ellen :
    01/02/2014 at 9:16 am
    Excellent selection! Any idea’s for a warm (but NOT puffy) winter coat? Now that I am a partner I must be carful to dress nice but NOT like a 20 year old. Dad says I am no Kate Moss. FOOEY!
    Dad says I should dress now like the peeople on the Today show like Brook Sheilds and Hoda Copy. I would love to but I do not have the money for there wardrobe budget. DOUBEL FOOEY!
    I am @work but I still have the old SMELLEY chair, and Madeline is the onley one here with me. Even Frank is off today b/c of the weather.
    My mom got me a pair of OPEN TOE pump’s! What was she thinkeing? The Manageing partner does not permit them and even if he did it is way to COLD to wear these in the winter! Tripel FOOEY!
    Sam texted me and wants to come over after work. Dad says he is still “in hot per suit” of me. YAY!

    Ellen :
    01/01/2014 at 1:39 pm
    Yay! Happy new year to the hive!!! I am back in my own apartement and own bed and no duck dynasty dudes followed me back tho this guy Clem “claimed” me like a chattel in SC! FOOEY!
    Sam was nice last nite and kissed me b/c he wanted to be the first one to kiss me as a partner. He wanted more but I said I must maintain my new status. Dad wants to prep me for my first MONTHELY partnership meeting. I will listen to him b/c he got me here. Yay!
    They are bringinging in the new chair and my new associate tomorrow. He is sitting by Frank and the toilet. I will not get a new office until we move in March. Dad got me a window ! They are giving the new kid my old chair. It is old and smelly but the Manageing partner does NOT want to spend to much on this guy in case he turns out to be a doofus!
    I wish the entire HIVE a fintastic 2014!!!! YAY!!!!!!!

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  4. Ellen :
    12/30/2013 at 9:41 pm
    Yay! I am finally back on my OWN MacBook Air, and onley have to go into work for a little bit tomorrow b/c it is NEW YEARS EVE, and Myrna and I am goeing to have our own Party–at her apartement. She invited a few peeople from work, includeing Sam (I warned her to tell him to keep his weenie in his pant’s), so she passed that along to him. We are planning a quiet celabration (she bought us a bottel of champayne to celabrate my Partner status–yay!) and when I come back, the manageing partner said that I am getting a NEW chair — it is ERGONOMIC — dad negotieated it for me b/c the old one was from the 1940′s and it’s past owners had worn out the fabric in the seat over the last 70 year’s and it smelled musty — FOOEY!
    Anyway, as for the OP, I want to say that you are NOT over reacting to this Paralegal. Men get very pushy, especialy when you are more CREDENTIEALED then they are– you are a lawyer and he is a paralegal. Alot different! He is jelous of your status and is markeing his teritory, like a dog peeing on a fire hydrant. Do NOT let him pee on your case’s–make sure he know’s that YOU are the lawyer, and that as the LAWYER, YOU are in charge. It does NOT matter that he does things different (mabye) with other’s but with you, he is to follow YOUR direction. You can be sure that if thing’s get messed up, he will be the FIRST one to throw you under the bus. So watch out! That is what hapened to me when I was a summer intern. The senior lawyer blamed ME when he lost the file’s. All I did was make a copy of some file’s hand he lost it and blamed me. DOUBEL FOOEY! As a result, I did NOT get a job offer, but mabye that is good b/c I would have been in DC still, and would have worked for the GOVERMENT! I am glad I had to come back to NYC and bump into the manageing partner, b/c here it is a few year’s later and I am a partner!!!!! (as of Wednesday, that is).
    I will fill in the hive soon about Myrtle Beach and this guy Clem. I am not even sure what Clem stand’s for — Clementine? Whatever. He wanted me to have sex with him. TRIPEL FOOEY b/c I am not even sure he knew my name — He kept calling me Eileen! Myrna thought he was cute but I know He was a looser! FOOEY!
    Ellen :
    12/27/2013 at 2:39 pm
    Hi, get me back to NYC quick!!!!! This guy, Clem, keep’s following me around like a puppy dog, but his breathe smell’s like a combo of Cabbage and Cigarette’s! FOOEY! And he is NOT lookeing for a LT releationship, if you know what I mean, and I have NO intention of giveing him ANY “southern comfort” that he is askeing me to give him. DOUBEL FOOEY!
    I told Myrna never to let me go with her SOUTH again. We are very populear down here b/c alot of the women look like HONEY BOO BOO! No ofence, b/c we are Not Beauty’s, but PUHLEEASE, do something with yourself and take care of your bodies, ladie’s! No wonder Clem and other’s are taileing us like BLOODHOUND’s! TRIPEL FOOEY!
    I am comeing back on Sunday and it is NONE to soon. Roberta want’s me to stop off in Philadelphia to see her son, and he is lookeing better all the time. Yay for NYC!

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  5. Ellen :
    12/29/2013 at 8:48 am
    We are at a Piggly WIGGELEY getting a gift for Myrna’s boss! We ate HANGER steak last nite. FOOEY! Way to fatty for me. CLEM kept following me and wanted Me to be the mother of his children!?! I think he JUST wanted me to take my JEAN’S off. DOUBEL FOOEY!
    Can’t wait to get back and tell the hive about this place. Yay!
    Ellen :
    12/26/2013 at 3:35 pm
    Yay! An INTERNET connection! Yay for wifi!!!! It’s like Duck Dynasty here! FOOEY! No man want’s to get to know me. They JUST want sex! FOOEY on that! At least men in NYC want to talk. Not here. It’s lets go back to my place for rib’s. (mine). They don’t even think I have a tuchus–they call it a SHELF! Yay! But no sex!!!
    Reply
    Lourine :
    12/23/2013 at 3:24 pm
    I would love to find a good horticulturalist, but to do so, I know I must remain meticulously fresh if I want a man to go South for a LGP. An untended garden is not going to incent a guy to want to head downstairs, for even a nibble, let alone the type of tongue-lapping irrigation my garden truly craves.
    Reply
    • Godzilla :
    12/24/2013 at 10:36 am
    Whoa Nelly, are you one of Ellen’s acquaintances?
    Reply
    o Parfait :
    12/24/2013 at 11:55 am
    A known alias.
    Reply
    o emeralds :
    12/24/2013 at 5:59 pm
    Hahahaha I love jokes! Lourine, thanks for the Christmas Eve levity.
    Reply

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  6. Last one: Whew! Who knew that being a fan requires such work! Now that I have seen what Ellenwatch does, I give her more respect! Hurray for Ellenwatch!
    Ellen :
    12/20/2013 at 2:31 pm
    Yay! Open thread’s! I love open thread’s! (and Friday too!)
    As for the OP, Super Hug’s to you. Interviewing is alway’s stresseful, and peeople who are lookeing are alway’s lazy, particulearley around the holiday’s b/c they are busy eating and goeing to parties and all that stuff. Even I have put on 5 pound’s since Thankgsgiveing, and I am sure that ALL of it is in my TUCHUS! FOOEY!
    But they will eventually decide and I am hopeing it is YOU b/c you deserve a good 2014!
    As for the rest of the hive, I cam across this articel that was VERY interesting about a woman who sued the cop’s for OOOGELEING her driver’s license photo in Minnesota. She sued for alot of money and setteled for $32,000.
    http://www.startribune.com/local/west/236425531.html
    According to the Paper, “The City Council approved the settlement last week after Paula Kruchowski’s attorney wrote in a notice of claim ¬letter — which typically precedes a lawsuit — that she had been “oogled [sic] by scores of men.” As the city attorney’s office liaison to the police domestic assault unit, Kruchowski works in Police Department offices at City Hall.”
    If she can stop peeople from OOGELING her, there is hope for the rest of us from beeing OOOGLED! DOUBEL FOOEY!
    I think this case is and can be VERY good presedent for us who get OOOGLED by peeople in our own companies! I am printeing out this article to give to BOTH Frank and the Manageing partner, b/c I do NOT like it when Frank is ooogeleing my boobie’s and tuchus. He is MARRIED, and he can OOOGLE her!
    So for the HIVE, remember this case and we can make even more money if we bring an OOOGLEING lawsuit! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Reply
    • Joanna Toews :
    12/20/2013 at 5:20 pm
    Bless you, Ellen. You just improved my day 1,000%.

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  7. Ellen :
    12/29/2013 at 8:48 am
    We are at a Piggly WIGGELEY getting a gift for Myrna’s boss! We ate HANGER steak last nite. FOOEY! Way to fatty for me. CLEM kept following me and wanted Me to be the mother of his children!?! I think he JUST wanted me to take my JEAN’S off. DOUBEL FOOEY!
    Can’t wait to get back and tell the hive about this place. Yay!
    Ellen :
    12/26/2013 at 3:35 pm
    Yay! An INTERNET connection! Yay for wifi!!!! It’s like Duck Dynasty here! FOOEY! No man want’s to get to know me. They JUST want sex! FOOEY on that! At least men in NYC want to talk. Not here. It’s lets go back to my place for rib’s. (mine). They don’t even think I have a tuchus–they call it a SHELF! Yay! But no sex!!!
    Reply
    Lourine :
    12/23/2013 at 3:24 pm
    I would love to find a good horticulturalist, but to do so, I know I must remain meticulously fresh if I want a man to go South for a LGP. An untended garden is not going to incent a guy to want to head downstairs, for even a nibble, let alone the type of tongue-lapping irrigation my garden truly craves.
    Reply
    • Godzilla :
    12/24/2013 at 10:36 am
    Whoa Nelly, are you one of Ellen’s acquaintances?
    Reply
    o Parfait :
    12/24/2013 at 11:55 am
    A known alias.
    Reply
    o emeralds :
    12/24/2013 at 5:59 pm
    Hahahaha I love jokes! Lourine, thanks for the Christmas Eve levity.

    ReplyDelete