Where is my GROOM when I need him?

Ellen is so distressed to find out that her best marriage prospect in quite some time pick's his nose that she has written a post with 100% CORRECT SPELLING AND PUNCTUATION, INCLUDING APOSTROPHES. The situation is obviously dire. (But we knew something had to be wrong with Sam, right? Or is Myrna just trying to sabotage because it's getting too deep?) 

Evan is a recycled name as well. Initially I had thought there'd been some references to him on LI, but nope: he was a wealthy tech type, bald with bad breathe, who courted Ellen for a few minutes last winter.

Ellen :

07/29/2013 at 8:43 pm

I want to be MARRIED! Where is my GROOM when I need him? Myrna says Sam picks his nose! FOOEY! That’s all I need! FOOEY! My cousin Evan picks his nose and it’s gross! The thought of my husband being a nose picker is more than I can take! FOOEY!

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