irregardeless of the profit’s of the firm

Let me clear my throat. 

Form before content: Over the weekend, I threw out a random reference to "seven paragraphs" potentially lost to the comments-gobbler during Corporette's tech update, in which I imagined Ellen had tried to tell us what happened over the holiday with MP. After I was reassured that she'd decided to wait until Monday morning, we get this! Seven exactly, on the assigned topic, with two likely being throwaway's (er, more so than all Ellen paragraphs) just to satisfy my projection. Thank you? Or, ha? Or, I'm just too good at predicteing your behavior?

On to content: Who's "they" in P. 3? Harold live's just around the corner from Ellen in Manhattan and thus can't live near MP on LI--unless he's moved back in with his Dad (MP's brother, remember) in order to further his balding process, or perhaps complete the regressive bachelor-pad ambiance if MP's most recent sister-in-law has flown the coop. 

Finally, and most concerning, doesn't Ellen's guaranteed minimum salary as a partner sound terrible? The last time I tried to calculate Ellen's salary it was already rather low for an associate of her seniority, I thought, though perhaps understandable at such a silly firm. Nonetheless it was almost $100k higher than this would be. I get that this is just an unconditional baseline, with all the partnership benefits stacking up on top, but still, how is it acceptable? 

Ellen :

07/08/2013 at 11:36 am

I agree here 100%. My ex was a drunk, and I cannot be freind’s with a drunk. FOOEY! He also was bad in bed b/c of the boooze, but enough about him!

My weekend on LI was very interesting. We all went out boating with the manageing partner and Margie, and the manageing partner’s brother and Harold went also b/c they live nearby. I had NOT seen Harold for a while, and he seem’s to be looseing even more of his hair even tho he can NOT be even 25 or so. FOOEY! He will be bald as an egg in 3 year’s and once he has a paunchy stomack like his dad, he will be GROSS!

Anyway, Harold smacked me on the tuchus as I got into the boat, like it was NOTHING. He made it seem to his dad (and everyone else) like he had done this (and ALOT MORE) with me physiceally. I said why did he do that? I wanted everyone to be sure that I had not done ANYTHING with him physical, NOR did I ever want to!!!! FOOEY!

Harold’s DAD kept oogleing me the whole time I was on the boat. I do not know where his wife was. Lucky I brought my Nautica coverup — it was helpful to prevent him from stareing at my breast’s, b/c the batheing suit was still a little to tight and my tuchus was showeing a littel to much for comfort around HIM. I do not need another bald guy ooogeleing me! Doubel Fooey! Especialy b/c he is older then my dad.

Dad talked alot about the firm to the manageing partner, and I think the manageing partner is goeing to make me a partner, but with a guareanteed MIMINUM salary. Dad says that I will get at least $75,000 per year irregardeless of the profit’s of the firm, but then get to participate with all of the same right’s and priviledges as other partner’s at the firm. This way, I get the benefit’s of the up-side, dad say’s, without all the risk’s of the downside’s. I still will be responsible for partnership debit’s but ONLEY those that are incurred after I join and vote on (even if I vote against them).

I will NOT have to contribute to all of the acrued liabilitie’s to date, and can join as early as 9/30. Yay!!!! I will be able now to meet a guy and say I am a partner, and can get him to MARRY me!!!!! Dad did all this negoteaiting for ME b/c he is lookeing out for me and he said he want’s me to be MARRIED already, just like ROSA! I do NOT think he had do do any of this with Ed’s family or employer b/c Rosa had alot of bargeaining power — she was young, beautiful and fertile and wanted kid’s right away! YAY for me and Rosa!

Now I JUST need to find the right guy. But now, where is this guy when I need him?

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