suposed to get hurt closeing up a laptop

I like the idea that our tuchuses can have their own dress sizes. Maybe Ellen is still a Size 4 as long as her tuchus stays out of the fitting room? Can she buy matching outfits in a couple of sizes up to accommodate it? How does measurement work? 

Ellen :

02/26/2014 at 10:00 am

Yay! I love this Blouse, and the model look’s alot like Rosa! I will show her the picture and mabye she will buy it. The neckline would be great for Frank, but I do NOT want to encourage him lookeing at me! FOOEY!

As for the OP, yes, litiegation can be sink or swim or feast and famine, depending on how many case’s you have on your docket. That is why the manageing partner has me workeing like a hamster on a exercycle wheel, ALWAYS lookeing for more case’s from my cleint’s. Now he has me pusheing Sam and Willem for case’s even tho there are NOT alot of WC case’s EVER comeing out of bank’s. What are they suposed to get hurt closeing up a laptop? FOOEY! I do NOT think I am ever getting any VOLUME from them like I do from Roberta and Jim and other’s I am WOOING who have alot of employee’s that do MANUEL labor. We are now WOOING a firm that does BUILDING MAINETENANCE, and there are alot of peeople who they hire that get hurt on the job — so they say, and we are telling them MY track record —that I win about 93% of my case’s and this means’ less payout for them, or less INSUREANCE PREMIUM’s if they are NOT self insured. So mabye we will get the busness. I am meeting with 2 guy’s next week from their company who the Manageing Partnermet at the Lamb’s Club for lunch. YAY!!!

I am still STUFFED from the deli and pie I ate with Myrna last night. It is a lucky thing I walked to work w/my fitbit today, or my TUCHUS would be a size 8 by now. DOUBEL FOOEY!

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found another guy 5 year’s ago rather than stay pineing for him

The initial oblique reference to Alan (highlight) is followed by a more direct reexamination of his flaws. I wouldn't be commenting on it too much but for the fact that Alan has recently surfaced on Corporette (more soon), AND for the fact, perhaps more important, that this may be the only time ever that Ellen has admitted to missing him. We've had years worth of fooeys, but never a tender word. Others (vehemently) disagree, but I still hold out hope--if not for this couple getting back together, then at least for Ellen to free herself with a pinch of honesty. 

Ellen :

02/25/2014 at 5:37 pm

You are SO lucky that you all are trying to get pregenent. I do NOT think you should worry if you get pregenent first, nor should you be jelous if the other’s are first. You are three women with similar goal’s, and hopefully supporteing husbands.

I have often wondered if I should follow up on Grandma Trudy’s sugestion that I do artificieal insemination. That way, I could have my baby but would NOT have to have a lazy man laying around expecting to be fed every day and have sex every night. Of course, I would have to do all of the work myself bringeing up the baby, but that way, I should be abel to mold the baby into a littel person with MY ideal’s and NOT have to listen to a guy who is busy burpeing and being demanding just b/c he fathered our children. I think that a woman has to do 9 month’s of pregeanancy which is alot more stresseful then just haveing sex and getting me pregenant, so why should I have to spend alot of time cookeing and cleaning just for him so that he can just burp and walk away?

I have to looke into this b/c I am not sure if it is even legal in NY State. I want to be abel to figure out who the father is, b/c I do NOT want any guy with bad gene’s or alchoholism in him. Even Alan turned out to be a drunk and a loser, so I know there are NO gurantee’s. Grandma Leyeh kind of liked Sheketovits b/c she knew some relatives from the old country with that name, but when I told her about his probelem’s she said to stay far away from him. I think mabye she was right along time ago and I should have found another guy 5 year’s ago rather than stay pineing for him.

Myrna is comeing over to watch TV with a Cherry pie she bought at Citarella’s and we are going to eat it tonight after we have deli take out from Second Avenue. YAY!!!!!!

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my biological clock is tickeing and where is my Prince Charming.

Additional financial concerns about moving to Europe--in addition to their currency being basically play money--you have to forfeit your 401(k)! Probably to your father, isn't that the default policy? Sure does sound like we have more and more reasons to be wary of marrying Sam or Willem. Husbands of any nationality are equally likely (say around 95%) to chase nanny tuchuses, however, so on that score there's not much one can do. Ellen does look approximately like Sienna Miller, right? No shelter.

Notice the sentence construction following that nanny line: "No, I think I will just have to...". This is also common among Sunshine Girl posts (here). I'll let you connect this, yet another, dot. 

Ellen :

02/25/2014 at 11:40 am

I know exactely how you feel, but at least you are MARRIED! I want a baby, but peeople CONSTANTLY remind me that my biological clock is tickeing and where is my Prince Charming. I tell them I have been WAITING ALONG TIME for him, but I keep getting LOOSERS who just want sex but NOT to marry me or suport our children (until recentley, with Willem and Sam, but they are NOT USA Citizen’s and I wonder if they realy want me or the thought of an American wife).

Grandma Trudy says go for it, even with a Foreigner, but Grandma Leyeh is more worried about me becomeing a Europeean, when so many peeople struggled to get out of Europe Less then 100 year’s ago, why would I embrace goeing back? She said Russia and Sochi are example’s of the troubel I would be inviteing if I go back, and I would NOT even have a 401(k) in Europe. I told her I have one here, but she said they would probabley confiscate it if I go over there If I want to become a citizen of UK or Belgum. I am not sure about that but do NOT know who to ask. Right now, Dad has alot of my equity tied into the 401K and my apartement is also considered my property, even tho Dad paid for it, b/c I did NOT want to live with mice and roache’s, like I did when I was in the apartement I rented. FOOEY!

So I say when I DO get married, I will look for an apartement here big enough for ME, MY HUSBAND and enough room for 2 children, which mean’s at least 3 bedroom’s or more. In Manhattan, Dad say’s this will be over $1.5M for a half way decent place. That is why I simply can NOT fall in love with a LOOSER that can NOT aford to buy and pay the maintence on it, unless we both work and then I would have to hire a full time NANNY, and that does NOT come without PROBELEM’s. DOUBEL FOOEY. With my luck, I will gain 10 pound’s and I could find my husband attracted to the NANNY. TRIPEL FOOEY ON THAT. No, I think I will just have to marry a guy with enough money and a good enough job to support ME being the nanny and the wife and the housefrow, so that I can stay HERE, near the family and Rosa. A guy like ED wouldn’t be that bad, and he does LOVE Rosa alot. Where is a guy like ED? I want someone like HIM!!! FOOEY!

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NOTORIUS for useing other peeople’s toilets

So another point in Sam's favor is that his use of the Family of Origin's toilet went reasonably well. At least we know which qualities he has to recommend him. Meanwhile more complaints about Alan's GI system/behaviors; though I'm surprised she didn't mention that he also (probabley) put a large dent in the bar at all of these partie's as well. 

Ellen :

02/25/2014 at 1:02 pm

Kat, this is an incredibley important topic that all young lawyers (and business peeople) should understand and live by! Thank you for calling this issue to our attention.

My dad taught me early to alway’s be nice to old bosses and others b/c you NEVER know when you will need them. He learned this in the Army. He was alway’s good to both his officer’s as well as the men that he commanded. (Now there are women in the Army, but I do NOT think back then there were). I learned to be nice and CULTIVATE both personal and professional contact’s, includeing peeople that I keep up with even if they NEVER can help me. I call them at least 1 times a year, usueally around the holiday’s when they are either home or relaxing by their pool’s if they are down South.

Grandma Trudy told me to alway’s bring food and drink with me if I go to their house’s b/c they do NOT want to think of me as a moocher. I can’t tell you HOW MANY times Alan went to a party and brought nothing, and left nothing at a party other then mabye stuffing up their toilet if he had to go. He was NOTORIUS for useing other peeople’s toilets, and then walkeing away if the toilet did NOT flush after he used it. This hapened at least 3x that I can remember, 2x at my own house. Dad did NOT want Alan useing the toilet at my house after that. FOOEY!

Sam had no probelems when he used Dad’s toilet, but Dad was worried. That is why Dad like’s Sam. After Alan, any guy who I date who does NOT cause problems with Dad’s toilet is a hero. That is sad. Anyway, Sam keep’s calling dad directly for advice on how to woo me. I wish he would NOT do that b/c it is NOT fair with dad pushing me to Sam and Sam pushing himself on me. I want a guy from the USA, even tho Sam is very wealthy. FOOEY!

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alot of other peeople who were her ENEMY

I know, I am behind, and I have not been live-blogging Alan's attempts to reconcile as posted on Corporette. I'll get there. 

Ellen :

02/24/2014 at 5:04 pm

Hug’s to you. I do NOT know what I will do when I face this situeation. I think the best thing you should do IS to greive b/c he was your father. I have learned that even if my father is some time’s overbareing, he is still my father and I MUST live with what he says.

Now your situation may be different, but still I think you will feel alot better if you treat this like any other close relative. I have found that being very forgiveing of peeople who are not that nice to me has worked out. It is all about “turning the other cheek” so to speak, and not goeing down to the level of the person who was / is not nice to you.

When I was in college, the RA in my dorm totally HATED me b/c she did NOT like it that I had alot of boy’s interested in me and she did NOT. Well, I could have been a b***ch to her, but I spoke with my dad, and he said to “turn the other cheek” and be nice to her. After a while, she had alot of other peeople who were her ENEMY b/c she was mean to others, but to me she actualy became nice. I even got her special ticket’s to a concert at the Kennedy Center that some guy gave to me but I did NOT use. I do NOT even remember the name of the guy or the concert, but she was SOOO nice to me afterward’s just b/c of that.

So my 2 cent’s is to greive now, and you will be alot better off later, even if your dad was not nice to you.

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apreaciate my sense of humer

So the problem is having a foreign husband of any origin. I actually think it could be a great idea, and probably the only way of substantively escaping Dad that he would actually allow. ("Taken care of by a man? Oh, I suppose. Now go before I change my mind.") 

So far the specific complaints about Europe were bad teeth destiny and euros, which are not the same as dollars. Increasingly, however, we're admitting that homebody Ellen just want's someone willing to settel down in one of two boroughs, accessible to Dr. Vine and participating in the same currency system. Good to know what you want, right? Like Chai or Peppermint tea? Which if I could share with Ellen right now, and maybe some Netflix, might soothe my world-weary soul too...

Ellen :

02/24/2014 at 10:40 am

Yay! Splurge Monday’s! I love Splurge Monday’s and this blazer. There is a BERGDORF near me that I can walk to at work, but it is a littel far so I don’t go there except on Weekend’s.

As for the OP, whenever I get a littel stressed in the morning or at night, I alway’s brew a pot of CHAI or PEPPERMINT TEA. I find that it calm’s me down (and make’s me go to the bathroom, which by the way is also a good thing). Lateley, I am stresseing over my future, and my need to have a baby, b/c Willem is #1 on the list, but I am not sure I want to have to sleep with him. He is a good freind and profesional, but Myrna think’s he is to stiff for me, and would NOT apreaciate my sense of humer.

Sam, on the other hand apreciate’s me but he has bad dental care in the UK and I do NOT want to have to live there. Why cant I find a USA guy to marry me and live right here in NY or LI? Why do I atract these guy’s from other countrie’s? There must be ladie’s over there for Willem and Sam, so why do they want me instead? I know I must be different for them and that is why, Myrna says, but she seem’s to have mostly USA guys to date, tho she did meet some guy’s doing the triatholon from somewhere else who wanted to have sex with her. FOOEY!

One of the’se day’s I will find a US Citizen who is decent who I can sleep with and who will MARRY me and suport me and our children. Why is that so dificult? I think I should make a pot of tea now, but I have to prepare for an EBT. FOOEY!

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say’s I have to be flexibel

The thought pattern currently getting in the way of just marrying Willem is pretty confusing to me. The concern that Euros may not be real money that can be spent effectively is very Ellen, so I have no questions there. But see the highlight below: what exactly are these doubts? Infertility? Not "getting along"? And how is Trudy going to be abel to get to the bottom of either? 

Ellen :

02/21/2014 at 2:53 pm

Yay! Open thread’s! I love open thread’s and the color of this dress, tho the v neck is a littel suggestive and Frank would definiteley peek at my boobies. FOOEY on that!

As for the OP, yes, this can be a probelem, tho in my case, the peeople I deal with are mostley investement banker’s who make alot MORE money then me, and I am NOT jelous of them b/c they often work weekend’s while I am out shoppeing or eating or at home with Mom bakeing apple pie’s!

But if I were makeing more money, I would NOT talk about it with other’s b/c most peeople would be jelous of me, particulearly now that I am a partner. Dad say’s that if I play my card’s right and the firm has similar PROFITEABILITY next year, I could make as much as $450,000 with a bonus. That to me is alot of money, tho Myrna makes more and Sam make’s alot more, as a manageing director at his investement bank.

I do NOT know what Willem make’s but Sam say’s it’s alot less b/c he works for a small NON-US bank and they pay in Euro’s not dollars, and he has to get it excheanged here b/c they are paying him in Belgum. I do NOT like the idea of NOT makeing dollar’s. What am I to do with EURO’s? Frank says the money can be exchanged easily, but dad say’s that most bank’s charge 2% to do so. FOOEY! That is like a 2% tax, and I do NOT want to pay 2% tax just to get US Dollar’s! DOUBEL FOOEY!

Willem say’s he does not mind, b/c he keep’s most of his account in Belgum and that is where he will return (with me if I marry him). I can NOT agree to marry him until I know I can have a family with him and I do NOT want to have to have a divorce if he does NOT get along with me. Grandma Trudy say’s I have to be flexibel when it come’s to men and that mean’s I can’t wait for a guy to be PRINCE CHARMING. She pray’s that whatever guy I marry will respect me for my MIND, and not just want to have sex with me all day. I told her I agreed. YAY!!!!

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with a nice Blouse underneathe

Mink Oil really belong's on the list of Ellen standby products. I think she's nearly as serious about it, consistently, as about scrunchies.

I'm not sure what to do with the fact that Benjamin is pushing for a date that would take place over a month into the future. At this point we have zero information on the status of the audit (is Ellen even asking?) and even less knowledge as to how influential Ben might be if his affections were ever requited. As with her communications with Alan, however, she's telling us half the story at most. (To think that I am complaining about Ellen not generating enough content! I guess my real issue is that it's not the right content?)

Ellen :

02/21/2014 at 10:28 am

Yay! Fruegel Friday’s! I cant believe it is already Fruegel Friday! I love Friday’s and casheamere V neck sweater’s with a nice Blouse underneathe! Great find, Kat!

As for the OP, I have alot of expereince with leather boot’s in NYC. You have to do more then use Saddel Soap. You also need to use MINK OIL. Have your shoe repairman or cleaneing lady put saddel soap on it initialy to CLEAN the leather, then have him POLISH the leather, and then after it is all cleaned and polished, THEN have him/her put MINK OIL on the shoe’s and let them sit for at least 24 hour’s before using.

When I was in college I had a pair of Fry Boots, but I did NOT know any of this, so I used them w/o treateing them and in DC, and they got RUINED after I used them in the winter, got salt on them and went on the toepath along the river and stepped in mud and possibley horse poop b/c horse’s sometime’s ride there. FOOEY!

I am goieing home this weekend with Myrna to get some time with Mom & Dad on LI. Benjamin texted me and said I should plan on comeing to DC in April. I hope we are NOT still being audited or the manageing partner will want me to do thing’s with him. I told him it was OUT of my (and his) hand’s so what difference would it make.

Margie wanted me to meet her in the City to go shoppeing at L&T today at lunch, but the manageing partner forbid me to go out with her, b/c she alway’s spends alot of money when I am with her, and sometime’s the manageing partner makes ME return the thing’s. FOOEY b/c I like Margie. Frank said I should go, but I do NOT want to get the manageing partner mad at me b/c he is also noticeing that Mason is alway’s hanging around Lynn’s desk and he does not think I am giveing Mason enough work to do. DOUBEL FOOEY!

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a tentetive thumb’s up

Ellen :

02/20/2014 at 4:40 pm

Yay! I love questionair’s, but I can NOT divulge other then I have alot of clothe’s b/c the manageing partner and my dad could find out how much clotheing I have, even tho I onley wear about 10 different outfit’s and about 15 pair’s of pump’s. I also have alot of sheath dresse’s that do not count b/c they are not matched to a blazer, and other thing’s that I wear outside of work also, like blouse’s. So it is NOT some thing I can count acurately. FOOEY!

Sam is mad that I am considering marrying Willem b/c he said he was first, but I told him he had bad dental care in the UK. He said Belgum was no better and that he would pay to send me back to the US if he were to re locate in the UK and we were married and I needed to see Dr. Vine. He also said Willem was a stiff from a second rate bank who could NEVER suport me like he could.

I said that I was NOT marrying Willem but I would have to meet his reletives first anyway, b/c Grandma Trudy gave me a tentetive thumb’s up even tho Grandma Leyeh is down on Belgum and Willem just b/c of his name. FOOEY!

Myrna said she would never marry a guy until she was sure the sex was good, and that is NOT hapening any time soon with Willem or Sam b/c I would have to have them tested for STD’s first, and I am not crazy about either. I would not have sex with Gonzalo b/c he wanted it right away and I knew that he was not to be trusted and then I saw him come out of a woman’s apartement on Lex in the morning, and I am sure he was not playeing Yatzee all night with her, b/c he had his hand on her tuchus. FOOEY!

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a hungry lion lookeing for food, (with Lynn being the meal)

Has Ellen submitted to Ask A Manager? Not as a commenter (though let me know about that too...) but for help in mulling over her new management role? Paragraph 2 almost poses a question, and I would LOVE to see how it would be handeled. 

Ellen :

02/20/2014 at 2:26 pm

Yes, this could be me also, especialy b/c I am now manageing Mason. As a newly MINTED partner, I have to be authoritative to Mason, and make sure he does NOT do anything stupid that make’s me look stupid. So clotheing is a part of it. I must dress professioneally and be authoritative, or Mason will walk all over me.

Right now, my Dilemna is to figure out how he must act at work with Lynn. I am positive he is haveing sex with her OUTSIDE of work, but I must make sure he act’s professional 100% of the time at work with her. Otherwise, peeople like Madeline will question my own professionealism for failure to properly manage Mason. It is the manageing partner’s job to manage Lynn, but she is NOT the probelem. It is Mason, who is agressive sexually toward’s her, kind of like a hungry lion lookeing for food, (with Lynn being the meal). YAY! I have it tough as a manageing attorney at the firm and a partner. I hope he does listen to me. FOOEY if he does not, b/c we do NOT want employment litiegation here at the firm. We are to small for that b/c everyone would know everything, b/c everything would be in the pleeading’s which are public. FOOEY!

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want’s to know if I would make our dateing exclusive.

This is perhaps as close as we ever get to a narrative turning point: Ellen actually has a decision to make, and presumably this decision will influence event's henceforth. I don't really get the "out in the cold" logic in the event that another prospect manifests. It would actually be Willem who was shivering, right, because Ellen will have run off with the new chap and HE would be the one left involuntarily single? 

Ellen :

02/20/2014 at 10:19 am

Yay! I love REISS Dresse’s, I would get this dress, Kat execept for the V neck, which give’s Frank a cheep excuse to peek and I am VERY TIRED of him lookeing at my boobie’s.

As for the OP, I did get my dentist, Dr. Vine to give me an IN-OFFICE whitenening treatment that realy helped me b/c for year’s I drank black tea and it stained my teeth. Dr. Vine cleaned all of that up in 1 treatement in office. Yes, my teeth were sensitive for a while, mabye a week, but that went away.

Dr. Vine gave me a followup home treatement, he made a plastic mold of my top and bottom teeth, then I squeeze in some of this Opalescence and let it stay for the eveneing and I take it out, brush my teeth, and go to sleep. The manageing partner says I have teeth like Jenifer Annisten and mabye he is right, but it was worth it. I wished I had the BODY of Jenifer Annisten, b/c if I did, I would SURELEY be MARRIED by now. Yay for the Teeth, but FOOEY b/c I do NOT have her body.

Willem want’s to know if I would make our dateing exclusive. I realy do NOT want to comit to that b/c that leave’s me out of the cold if another guy come’s along. But considering that most guy’s are looser’s, including guy’s like Gonzalo and the manageing partner’s nephew, mabye I do not loose to much. I need to get MARRIED and have children, in that order, so I am getting pressure to do SOMETHING. Mean while, Mason and Lynn are goieing at it hot and heavy. I surely hope he does NOT hurt her. FOOEY on him if he doe’s. Most men do. DOUBEL FOOEY!

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He look’s a littel wormlike

And we're back to juggling at least two guy's: Benjamin wants to take her out, Willem wants to take her overseas, and Sam has been contacting her as well. Talk about water everywhere...they are all such dubious suitors! Even from a purely pragmatic standpoint, it isn't clear who is the best bet: Willem guarantees a ring and freedom from work, but Benjamin is the one who (maybe?) can make the audit go away. 

Ellen :

02/19/2014 at 2:40 pm

I LOVE the Blazer, Kat, but I can NOT wear pant’s at work–beside’s from the look of this model, my tuchus would be 6 inches bigger in the seat and that would NOT look to nice.

Frank is lookeing into an e-mail that Benjamins’ manager sent about the follow-up. I do not understand alot of it, but there is something relating to ACCRUEAL’s of expense’s that the manageing partner asked Frank to respond to. Frank is sweateing alot about this b/c he said that the manageing partner told him to ACCRUE these and they are now questioning them b/c it result’s in LOWER income. I alway’s thought that LOWER income was NOT a good thing b/c it mean’s LOWER partnership money. I will have to ask my dad about this even tho the manageing partner said NOT to discuss this with ANYONE! FOOEY–I am a partner and need to know what I am getting into. I can NOT know anything w/o talkeing to Dad about it, b/c he was the one that made me a partner.

Willem sent me a link to a websight with his picture on it. It was his gymneasium (high school) in Belgum. He look’s a littel wormlike as a high school student, but now he is older. I do NOT even think they had the INTERNET back then. FOOEY! At least I grew up with the WORLD WIDE WEB and AOL, and dad alway’s had me on the computer’s, but NOT APPLE back then.

Benjamin texted me and said he may be home soon. He want’s to go to the TOP OF THE ROCK. I wonder if that is any good. Has any one in the hive gone there? He also want’s to see if I can get ticket’s for Jamie Fallon on the Tonite Show. How in the WORLD can I get these? Are they on the Web? Do I need to know somebody? FOOEY!

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tryeing to grow a mustahe

Ellen :

02/19/2014 at 11:33 am

Yay! I just got into work b/c my door got stuck open and I had to get the super to come up and sand it down so I can open AND close it! FOOEY! The manageing partner is mad at me b/c he had to do my calendar call. I told him I could NOT leeve my house with the door stuck in the OPEN position! FOOEY on the manageing partner for getting mad b/c of that!!!

As for the OP, definitely a nice suit, mabye Calvin Klien or Eves Sant Lauraent. You do NOT want to be weareing scrub’s even tho you are in the Medical Field. I knew a guy when I was in law school who worked as an Orderley in GWU Hospital and he ALWAYS wore green scrub’s around town b/c peeople thought he was a DOCTOR. But he was onley getting his BA at GWU. There were a coupel of women that got tricked into thinkeing he was an MD, but most could tell he was not b/c he was tryeing to grow a mustahe, but it was NOT workeing for him, so he looked like Dookie Houzer. FOOEY!

But you do NOT have that probelem, so just go to Bloomie’s or L&T and ask them to help you dress PROPERLY for a meeting with a congressman. They know what you will need. The good thing is that the clothe’s you buy will be useful in the future. YAY!!

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alway’s OCCUPIED and NOT availabel to chat

See the last full sentence below (highlighted). Becoming engage'd to Willem is an end in itself now--no nuptials necessary? How would this be advantageous? Is it incremental progress, somehow, or just a cover story to appease the grandmother's until something better and less Belgian comes along? 

You'd think after all this time I'd have better telepathy with Ellen. This is very inefficient. 

Ellen :

02/18/2014 at 4:23 pm

I read Marie Claire all the time when I work out at the NYSC. I do this with my headphone’s on so that I am alway’s OCCUPIED and NOT availabel to chat with peeople who stop by and want to talk. There was this guy on Saturday that was some sort of musscle head who came over with sweat all over him (FOOEY) and he wanted to know my name.

Because I had a head set on and was reading Marie Claire, I did NOT hear him at first, and when I did, I was very slow to take my head set off to figure out what he wanted. This happens alot when I go on the weekend’s b/c guy’s are lookeing around for a woman to date on the weekend’s and they see me (with NO ring) and right away, they come up like flies to honey.

At least when I have the magazaine, they do not see right away if I am MARRIED. If I am at least engage’d, I do not think I would be bothered. Willem seem’s willing to do that for me, even if I do NOT ultimeately MARRY him. YAY!!!

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WOOFULLY UNDERREPRESENTED

So what Netflix show did Myrna and Ellen watch while splitting the pie? (I like how the plan, even going in, was to divide it 50-50 and make sure nothing was left in the tin.) 

Ellen :

02/18/2014 at 2:38 pm

I also love her clothe’s, but I also love the Good Wife and her clothe’s on the show. I think I like to be like them in court, tho I am limited in the type of case’s that I do. Right now, I am onley a litiegator for WC cases, but the manageing partner want’s me to get into IMPORT/EXPORT law, and he say’s there is alot of litiegation on that issue with the Chinese coming in and selling cheapley and we would either defend them or else sue them. I am not sure which way the manageing partner wants to go. He is researcheing this issue NOW with some consultant, who says the field is WOOFULLY UNDERREPRESENTED by council, so that is why the manageing partner is pressureing me to get up to speed. FOOEY! He does NOT know anything about it himself, but he is makeing me the expert? How am I suposed to be the expert when my onley resource is google.com? DOUBEL FOOEY!

I got a text from Sam saying that he wanted to take me out for Italian food, but that I was not pickeing up my phone. That was b/c I went home for pie, which I brought back with me. Myrna and I am goeing to eat a whole pie tonite at her house while watcheing TV! She has some episode’s on NETFLIX that she want’s me to see. I hope there are some cute guy’s on whatever show she is talkeing about YAY!

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who send’s us blank CLE forms

The reprimand's have so far been fairly polite, but yes. I am way behind schedule, and I'm sorry. I can't give any spoilers in this post or those following because I'm so far from knowing what happens!

The hemming and hawing about moving to Belgum is same old. The create-your-own CLE credit certificates, though, this is news! I'd probably be convinced that MP was cutting corners no matter what, but at this point it seems like almost every day we learn of something new that he's (rightly) concerned about being caught for. 

Ellen :

02/18/2014 at 9:28 am

Yay! Splurge Monday’s! I love silk blouse’s and color’s now that winter is grippeing us so tightly about. FOOEY on Winter! FOOEY!

As for the OP, I am NOT sure what kind of training you want — the manageing partner ocasionally teaches for the AMA on management topic’s includeing busness ethic’s, but if you want LEGAL topic’s, and you are in NYC, I recomend one of the local Bar Associations. The manageing partner has been talkeing about trying to get some judge’s together to put on a program about WC law, but so far nada. He figure’s out it would be great for busness if our firm’s name were up with alot of WC judge’s b/c then all the companie’s would come flockeing to us for busness. YAY if it ever come’s off.

Right now, our onley conection to the bar association is the manageing partner’s freind, who send’s us blank CLE forms we can keep in our desk drawer just in case we ever need to prove we have enough CLE credit’s. Since we just got audited by the IRS, the manageing partner asked me to check to see how many difernet CLE’s we have in the folder b/c we could get hit by lightening twice with another audit, but I do NOT think so.

Myrna think’s Willem is a littel to formal and does NOT think I could live in Belgum as his house frow. I am not crazy about this, but he is the onley one that is interested in Children and in setteling down NOW, and that is important to me, tho going to Belgum is not my idea of a great place to be. Mabye Paris or Rome, but Belgum? I do NOT think so. Is there anyone in the HIVE from Belgum who can tell me it is OK for a young American to go there and get MARRIED to be a house frow?

I spoke with Grandma Trudy, and she said I need to have children very soon, even tho I am a profesional, she had mom when she was onley 22, and she was considered OLD back then. She pray’s for me every night that I will find a man to MARRY me and she is willing to teach me how to do what Willem wants for his wife. I am not a big cooker or cleaner, but I can be a mother to our children and I supose I could learn to cook and clean, but that mean’s I would have to give all of this up. FOOEY!

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which are NOT the same as dollar’s

It sounds like Ellen is actually considering marrying Willem, and he has all but asked. Will Trudy and Leyeh sign off on this proposal? How much worse will the language barrier be for her there, as opposed to here? And what will happen to Ellen's posting schedule if she moves to the Euro time zone to shop with Euro's as a SAHM?

Ellen :

02/17/2014 at 4:29 pm

I am IN the office, b/c I have a motion practice tomorrow, but I am the ONLEY one in. FOOEY! I put in alot of work for this firm, and I am a partner, but I would LOVE to be out shoppeing today at Lord & Taylor or Zara, but my work come’s first, b/c I am a professioneal who MUST get the right result’s for my cleints.

I saw a game with Willem. It was fun. He said that if I were a convenioneal woman, he would bring me home as a liekeley spouse. But I would have to be like Belgan women, who must cook, clean and bear children for him. Willem said he would be goieng back to Belgum next year and would be happy to take me with him if we were MARRIED. Willem makes money in Euro’s, which are NOT the same as dollar’s so I would have to spend money in Euros there. He showed his parent’s my picture and they want him to bring me to meet them. I want to get MARRIED and have children, and I think I am NOT goeing to have both unless I start NOW. Willem has NOT even grabbed at me and has NOT pressure’d for sex, tho I know if I said yes he would NOT disagree. I have to find out wether Grandma Trudy would suport me if I want to go to BELGUM and marry him. They have better dental care then in the UK but Grandma Leyeh says she does NOT like his name, but no one else is willing to marry me and Willem has never even seen me naked or slept with me. Mabye I should go and meet his parent’s. What a dillemna! FOOEY!

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that I do NOT copy opposeing counsel

The content here is a yawn, and if it was on Corporette I probably would have passed it over. However, here is Ellen weighing in elsewhere on the fascinating topic of email habit's. Nobody replied, whaddya know! 

Actually the only interesting thing about this po'st is that it confirms she's sworn off Disqus, at least for now. Gone are the days of several (there's the first) fabulous Ellen profiles that did all my work for me! I can't imagine why she accepts. even abets, my obsessive monitoring on Corporette while being determined to throw me off her trail everywhere else on the internet. (...Actually, I can imagine, and when I do my imagination wanders off to the issue of IP address tracing and how much easier it might theoretically be when all of one's comments are consolidated under a single account.)

As alway's, if anyone else sees something I missed please share it here! As you can see I am fairly late to this one.

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  Ellen Barshevsky 

  • 5 months ago

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  I am VERY PROMPT in replying to my e-mails. The judge like's that I am so responsive, especially b/c I do NOT do any kind of email's to him that I do NOT copy opposeing counsel. YAY!

   

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I truealy sympatheize

So no, Benjamin has not been entirely thrown off. I'd respect him even less if he had! The audit, worse than just still being underway, is getting passed up the chain in DC and is now beyond Ellen's powers of charm (or prostitution). MP still has it coming, say I. 

And Alan has gotten in touch again, this time for no even ostensible reason. I maintain he's working on an agenda, stalled and meandering though it may be due to his drinking. Still no info as to whether Ellen's been writing back or not. I bet she's actually doing emojie's and everything, on the flirty side, and just way too proud to admit this to the HIVE. 

I still doubt things are going anywhere with Willem--if this was going to happen, it's had months to happen.

Ellen :

02/14/2014 at 3:06 pm

Yay! Holiday Open thread’s!!! I LOVE Holiday Open Thread’s!!!!

As for the OP, No, I do NOT think it is tacky for you to p’ost a photo of your engagement ring on facebook. So many peeople will want to see it that it is ALOT easier to p’ost the picture there–that way, you will NOT have to take your glove’s off on the subway to show peeople, and risk touching the greasy pole where other peeople have sneezed and left their schmuutz all over the pole’s.

Of course, not EVERYONE will have to see it on facebook. When you are in the office, you can show your manageing partner your ring, and if you have others around like Frank or Madeline, or Lynn, they will want to see it to. So congratulation’s and show it off. I NEVER got a ring from Alan (and I am not counting the dirty rings he put in my tub when he soaked his tuchus in there! — ha ha — a joke, tho he NEVER cleaned up after himself in the toilet so my cleaneing lady had do do more work b/c of his sloppyeness. FOOEY!

Alan sent another text. Evedenteally the girl he was sleepeing with kicked him out for stinking up their bed. WHY did he tell me and moreover, why would I care? — I truealy sympatheize with her and can’t remember how many times I yelled at him for doeing the very same thing.! DOUBEL FOOEY! A new woman should NOT have to put up with that–in fact NO WOMAN at all should have to put up with that. I told him DOZEN’s of time’s that he should get up and go to the batheroom before letting loose with his gas. He told me there was some name for what he was doeing, but who care’s. It is AWFUL and women should NOT have to put up with that.

Sam called me and wished me a happy Valentine’s Day. It was nice and I also got a text from Willem about our basketball date this weekend. I kind of like Willem — he is low-key but I know he want’s to sleep with me. I am considering having him over to dinner at Mom&Dad’s for them to have a much closer look at him, tho they are not crazy about his name and Grandma Leyeh warned me that his relatives may not embrace me, even tho they are NOT Nazis and not even German. I have to ask Grandma Trudy what she think’s.

The manageing partner want’s to know what I am doieng with Benjamin, b/c he is concerned all about the Audit. All I know from Benjamin is that he could not resolve certain issues and he had to take it “upstairs” for senior review. The manageing partner thinks we could be in troubel and is thinkeing that mabye I could have done more to side track Benjamin. I disagree b/c what could I have done? I do NOT think that sleepeing with him would have been proper and I did agree to meet him in DC later and also on LI if he come’s home. That I think is all that I could do ETHECIALLY, so I do NOT know why the manageing partner is pointeing the finger at me for not solveing a probelem which I do NOT even know what it is! FOOEY!

So I will enjoy my holiday weekend, a little with Willem and also with Myrna, and then mabye go to LI for a day b/c mom is bakeing cherry pies and I can take one home she say’s if I come visit. At this point, I do not care that much about my tuchus whenever she mention’s Cherry pie. I will work it off later, Dad. YAY!!!!!

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b/c of all of the snow and SLUSCH

So Benjamin (the IRS auditor) has le'ft town. What happened with his actual business in NY, busting Ellen's firm for (likely) years of financial chicanery? Did she actually succeed in disrupting his concentration for good, and if so, will his boss buy it when he says there's nothing to see at Manageing & MANAGEING? 

Pause a moment to appreciate that junior associate Mason is being given groupie/gopher responsibilities for Ellen's court appearances. In context of a narrative so strict in gender norms, I'm tickled. 

Ellen :

02/14/2014 at 12:17 pm

Yay! Fruegel Friday’s! I love Fruegel Friday’s and I love trader joe’s!!!!! I also agree with Baconpancakes that the dark chocolete covered almond’s from Trader Joe’s are the BEST!!!! I buy the big container, then bring about 15 each day with me on my walk to work. They give me energy, which help’s me make the walk fun. It is about 2 mile’s to walk, and in the winter it is ALOT harder b/c of all of the snow and SLUSCH all over the place. FOOEY! I am wearing my new RED boot’s which are WATERPROOF, then when I get to the office, I change into my PUMP’s! YAY!

The manageing partner does NOT want me goeing into court with my boot’s but I told him I do NOT want to get $150 pump’s all wet b/c he would have to buy me new one’s. So now, Mason’s job will be to carry a big brown bag (FROM BLOOMIE’S) and when we get to court, HE has to give my my pump’s and I give him my wet smelly BOOTS to put in the BAG. I knew he would work out for me! YAY!

Benjamin is now back in DC, but he said he would let me know when he is comeing back to his family in LI. I said I would come visit when the Cherry Blossom’s are out, but given the amount of SNOW they have on the ground in DC, Benjamin say’s it wont melt until June, so that is when I think the blossom’s will be out . YAY!!!!

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does NOT have to shouvel

Interesting, Wildkitten (click through, below, to see what she was talking about). This brings us back to the discussion of whether Ellen is actually a troll in the traditional definition of the term--and for my two cents she is not. Most people tend to think of trolling as leaving insulting/inflammatory comments on others' content, but not as developing a persona in great detail. Yes, almost every Ellen post espouses views or values that can be expected to rankle, especially on Corporette, but she doesn't make it seem like her primary aim. 

I think of Ellen more as a self-appointed court jester, a clumsy satirist, a buffoon who isn't even reflective enough to be self-deprecating per se. As for the person(s) behind her, I could never attempt to speculate at motives or even means. As always, comments and disagreements are invited--this is like existentialism for ELLENWatch! 

Ellen :

02/13/2014 at 3:57 pm

I think snow is great, so long as you dont have to walk in it or shouvel it. Otherwise, its FOOEY! When we were young, Rosa built a snow man and we had alot of fun. I do NOT like snow now, b/c my dad make’s me walk to work with my fitbit, rain or snow or not. He get’s mad when I take the 6 line and say’s I could be svelte and MARRIED if I walk, b/c I can meet a man and have the kind of tuchus he want’s. I think he is a littel crazy over my tuchus being to big, but he does not care about snow b/c he has a man who come’s by with a plow and he does NOT have to shouvel. The manageing partner is workeing from home so he does not care either.

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• Wildkitten :

  02/13/2014 at 6:09 pm
  Oh, Ellen, this article in Time made me think of you:http://newsfeed.time.com/2014/02/13/internet-trolls-are-actually-sadists-study-finds/
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