Sunday, March 2, 2014

If I used this, men would mabye marry me

Does anyone know how using an iPad can help with the imperative to marry ASAP? 

Mooveing on to the ex-friend's ex-husband, I am not sure why the usually prudent Myrna isn't seeing all the red flags I see. Her "warning" about premarital intimacy also comes approximately 15 years too late. Why isn't Myrna married, anyway? We've heard all about how attractive, outgoing and accomplished she is, but everyone knows that's all a smokescreen. I'll take her advice seriously when she shows us she really knows how to snare a catch. 

Fans, if I missed any Alan posts please help me out. 

Yay! Open thread’s! I love Open thread’s! I also think Tesyaa is on point again! I agree with Tesyaa that this is a great causal dress, but it clearley need’s a CAMI. What a great topic for discusion, Kat! Very thoughtful to include a nice dress at this stage, b/c I am of the belief that a nice dress with a cami is the best entree into the business world! YAY!
This weekend, my dad is comeing into town and we are goieng to see if he can get me a new TABLET computer. My ipad is getting a littel long in the tooth and he said I should just give it to him and he will give it to mom or Grandma Trudy and this will replace their Andreoid’s.
I am thinkeing that I want an IPAD MINI with RETTENA Display and 128 gigebite’s of data and a data connection. I told Dad this was goieng to cost a lot of MONEY but he said that I was worth it and If I used this, men would mabye marry me, so in the long run, he think’s it could be a very cheep investement in my future. YAY!!!!
Myrna think’s me dateing Rosa’s ex-freind’s ex husband might work, tho she think’s I would probabley have to live in Chapaqua. FOOEY! She also said she should meet him before letting Rosa foysteing him on me. Myrna says if this guy want’s me, he should be ready to moove in to NYC, not me moove to Chapaqua, even tho Rosa is there, especialy if I am forced to keep workeing. If I can quit work and move up there, mabye I will consider that, but I do NOT see that hapening soon, especialy if he needs extra income to suport me as a SAHM. But Myrna warned me that no guy is goieng to marry me until he has a lot of sex with me to make sure I am worth it. FOOEY! I am NOT a blowup doll just for men to have sex with. I am a person with a lot of brain’s and beauty. Why do MEN just want to use women like me like a blowup doll? DOUBEL FOOEY! I am so much more then that.
If anyone in the hive knows a decent guy who I can date and not have sex all the time before we are MARRIED, please let me know. I do not think enough men respect me for my mind, and I have a very strong mind, dad say’s! YAY!!!


  1. A small part of me thinks that Rosa is happy that Ellen is not married because she isn't either and needs a wing-woman who she can commiserate with while eating pies on the weekend while watching Netflix. Another part of Rosa may be to try and snag any good man that might come forward, as the Investment Banking industry is notorious for having men more than willing to screw, but never willing to commit to anything more than a weekend in the Hamptons (where more screwing is de rigeour). After years of this, I do think Rosa wants to nail down the same type of guy that Ellen does, but is not having any more luck at it.

    1. Replace all of your "Rosa"s with "Myrna," and this post makes sense. I think you've confused Ellen's BFF with her sister.

  2. I think that someone who carries an Ipad exudes class and men will think she has class as well as looks. Men will want to make further inquiry as to the availability of such a woman, and if she is open to them, such men may get ensnared into a relationship leading, if not to marriage, at least to one leading to copulation and, with luck, the conception of a child, which is all Ellen really needs.

  3. Ellen should shag like crazy for the next few months. One of these guys surely won't be shooting blanks!

  4. Please. Ellen has morals. If she did this, how would she be differentiated from just another female lawyer trying to find her way in the big city. No, we like Ellen just the way she is, thank you, Anise.

    By the way, where in the good God is Ellenwatch? We need her to supervise and guide posters so that I don't have to do it for you!