Tuesday, March 18, 2014

He left me with a cookie from Crumb’s

Three men are in today's roundup: Benjamin, who was supposed to help bail Ellen out of the IRS audit, didn't, and still expect's to win her favor apparently; David, who was in the running during Hurricane Sandy but never since; and Willem, still Willem, whose Belgian origins were considered a liability even before Leyeh suggested that they might not be real. (What?! Something might not be real?)

Note: Myrna is thirty. Question: does anyone understand the first highlight, below? How would Ellen's oversized derriere on the beach equate, for onlookers, to Benjamin (even if he did gift her a cookie)? I thought when we saw a large woman we were supposed to assume she had no interested men, not that she had an ardent IRS suitor who was accidentally fattening her up. But there may be an even simpler explanation that eludes me, so help... 

Wow, that is so sweet! I wish I were the one you got close with b/c then I could be the one that invited you to be MY bridesmaid b/c I would be getting MARRIED! YAY!!!! And Kat, this is a very classy bag and I totaly love Ivanka Trump. She is down to earth and has a Penn Degree and is MARRIED already and I am not. She even has had children and has a tuchus smaller then me. FOOEY!
But, back to reality, I have NOT yet met prince Charmeing; the closest I get now is Benjamin, who stopped by here on his way to the Amtrack train to DC. He say’s I should still come visit to see the Cherry blossom’s, but there was alot of SNOW today in DC!!!!! I said how could I visit with Snow? He left me with a cookie from Crumb’s and said that I should think of him when I eat it. I told him if I eat it, alot of peeople will think of him b/c it will be on my TUCHUS all summer and I will NOT be abel to wear a bikini. He said that he would marry me even if my tuchus was bigger then the bridesmaids. And I said that is why bridesmaids usueally have bigger tuchuses, so that the groom will not want to chase the bridesmaids.
Anyway, he remains a posibility, and now David has resurfaced. He now wants to date me b/c he knows my birthday is coming and he wants to make sure he is there in case I am loneley. I said Myrna is 2 years younger then me and she also needs a guy, so David offered to find one and doubel date. I then said I would have to check with Willem b/c he has been presseing hard to be exclusive with me even tho Dad and Grandma Leyeh question his root’s. They say alot of peeople in Belgum were realy not from Belgum at all but from across the border. They would NOT say what theymeant, but I know what they meant. Willem offered to bring me over to meet the family so he can’t be bad. The family also I can tell are very anxius to meet me b/c they want Willem to be MARRIED and for me to start beareing him children. At least someone is interested in me. YAY!!!!

9 comments:

  1. The logic of Ellen's second sentence is mindbending. Also, just noting that not only is Ivanka married with kids, but her husband is a Jewish guy .

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    1. Yes, she married a guy named Kushner, who is into real estate.

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  2. My guess is that Ellen will hold Benjamin responsible for her tuchus, because she clearly eats all cookies from Crumbs and must bear the consequences on her tuchus.

    At this point, Ellen's Tuchus should be nominated to be a National Monument and Barack Obama would surely be the one to ogle that tuchus for eligibility.He and his friend Sarkozy know a good booty when they find one. See here, Ellenwatch, this is not the first tuchus he has ogled!

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/michael-shaw/reading-the-pictures-ireu_b_229491.html

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    1. Has anyone figured out if Ellen ever dropped her drawers for any guy other than Alan? If not, perhaps we should nominate her tuchus for National Monument consideration. I love the Sarkozy link. That guy surely knew a hot tuchus when he saw one. Obama, I am not so sure. He might have been staring at something else, though the picture is pretty damning. I'll bet Michelle clamped her knees together for a month after she got a look at him examining other booty.

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    2. Clearly, Sarkozy has an eye for the booty. Obama looks fairly guilty here too, tho if you look at the writeup, he did not appear that focused on this woman's booty. I think the only way to find out for sure is to get someone at Obama's next press conference to ask him directly. Even Ellenwatch dare not voice an opinion here, lest we figure out her political bent.

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  3. EllenWATCH, exactly how many men do you know who have actually had sex with Ellen besides Alan? I say none but we defer to your expertise here.

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  4. Where is this buxom wench, ellenwatch, when we come lookin for posts? Might she be out makin bacon with the lads in the meadow? I suggest she return her fingers to the keyboard from the places they have been to give us readers the pleasures she has been bestowing on the lads in the meadow.

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    1. I agree. Where is this woman? Has she abdicated the throne, or is she merely asleep on the throne, the latter being her home dumpster? Unless you are right and she is in the throes of ecstacy with some well endowed laddies, I suggest that Ellenwatch get back on this stick and start posting quickly or this site will start to lose the relevance and reputation it has built up of late.

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  5. Be patient with Ellenwatch. She is slow but fair.

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