ELLENWatch: November 2012

Friday, November 30, 2012

I just do NOT like his middle name.

NEVERMORRE

Poe's middle name is actually spelled with two Ls, but given the emotional charge associated it was inevitable that Ellen would overlook such typographical niceties. I look forward to hearing how this excursion in historical knowledge goe's.

I don't plan to give David his own tag, but the infinite echo of fooeys shows signs of being as enduring as Alan's. Gonzalo arrives not a moment too soon...

Ellen :

11/30/2012 at 3:35 pm

Yay! Weekend Thread’s!!!!!!!

I have a big weekend planned with Myrna and Roberta!!!!! We are doing all the soup kitchen tomorrow morning, BUT we leave after lunch (1:00pm) and we are headeing up to ROBERTA’s house in Riverdell, where she is takeing us out to eat at a deli off BROADWAY, then we are goeing to some place called WAVE HILL and we are goeing to learn all about what it was like to live there in the 1800′s.

Roberta used to be a DOCENT there, and she is goieing to get us all in for FREE, and we will learn all about HISTORY!!!!! Then she told me we are goieng to see Edgar Alan Poe’s house (spooky), and learn about him. I remember reading about him in HIGH SCHOOL! Yay! I just do NOT like his middle name. FOOEY!

Then SUNDAY, I have to bill my NOVEMBER hour’s b/c FRANK wants to get as much cash in hand before the holiday party. It is goeing to cost the firm a MINT, the manageing partner says, but he says I have been “INSTUREMENTAL” in getting our billieng’s up this year! YAY!!!!

And he is happy about my pledge, b/c I have NOT submited any reimburesment’s for NOVEMBER, and am NOT goieing to b/c I heard on the TODAY show that there are STILL peeople in BROOKLYN without light or power. FOOEY! (This is also why I I have no patient’s for peeople like David, who had power, but acted like a DOOSH!”

Anyway, I wish the HIVE a better December then our NOVEMBER’s, and my dad agree’s that we should NOT have any more huricaine’s any time soon! DOUBEL FOOEY!

becomeing a BLACK BELT in this stuff!!!!!

Ellen :

11/30/2012 at 10:16 am

I agree, but I like to wear bulky SWEATER’s in the winter OVER these so that Frank and the manageing partner do not ooogele. I DO have to admit, tho, that the manageing partner is getteing used to me and NOT ooogeleing as much. Frank, however, is incoregeibele. FOOEY! I do not know why men find our body’s so interesting. I certainley do NOT care that much about men’s body’s. FOOEY!

I got a great case resolution for ROBERTA. A guy sue’d for WC claeimeing he was diseabled at work, and could not work, so I had our PI take picture’s of him sawing up a tree that fell after Huricane Sandy and then carrying the branches to the street. HA! He was NOT diseabeled after all I told his council. So they agreed to drop the case entireley, b/c the manageing partner told me we would go to the disiplinary commitee for him fileing false pleeading’s claimeing that the guy was diseabled when he was NOT at all!!!!! YAY!!!!!

The cleint is very happy. We do not get that many case’s from this cleint, but the cleint is very pleased with me for ordering up a PI as part of DISCOVERY! The manageing partner says I am becomeing a BLACK BELT in this stuff!!!!! Mabye I will get a bonus out of this after all for Christmas……YAY!!!!!!!!!

Godzilla :

11/30/2012 at 10:58 am

Ellen, tell us MOAR about Gonzalo. I really hope he workes out for you. FINGERES CROSSED!!!!!!!!!!111

Reply
Senior Attorney :

11/30/2012 at 11:01 am

That’s interesting. I’m pretty sure that in my jurisdiction it’s against the Code of Professional Conduct to threaten an attorney with disciplinary action in order to gain an advantage in a case. I guess New York is DIFERANT.

Reply

ELLENWatch :

11/30/2012 at 11:27 am

Opposing counsel in this matter is probably Brian, who kowtows to Ellen and Roberta every single time, sweaty palms and all. My guess is that MP was talking a big game, like he does, knowing that he wouldn’t ever have to follow through. Not that he’s likely to know relevant procedural rules anyway.

Reply

I did not want to kiss a doofus b/c it is bad luck

I'm surprised that a woman whose views and values are as traditional as Ellen's would consider dating someone shorter than she is (Ellen is 5'5", Gonzalo is reportedly 5'3"). Ellen has never shared how often, or how high, she wears heels, or whether this would factor in.

I really hope she literally said FOOEY on you when she finally took one of David's calls. Apparently he gets no credit, or even benefit of the doubt, for continuing to pursue even since before Sandy.

And we're now expecting another STL trip with fooey man Jim.

Ellen :

11/29/2012 at 4:43 pm

You should come to MY firm! I have alot of work I can’t wait to OFFLOAD, and the manageing partner is NOT doeing anything to help me. I asked if Madeline could do the do diliegience work with Jim, but she did NOT want to, and the manageing partner is just leaveing that on MY Plate. FOOEY! And Jim keep’s calling, so what can I do?

I told him maybe in December, but I do NOT want to miss the holideay’s in NYC. They JUST lit the tree in Rockefeler Plaza, and I tried to walk by yesterday, but it was to crowded, so I could just see the tree from SAKS.

I am hopeing that I will find a guy this year, and NOT have coal in my stockeing again. I finaly picked up when David called and told him off. FOOEY on you I said. It was cold and raining and peeople were loosing power and where were you? I said, and he said he did NOT loose power but he did NOT want to tie up the line’s? Was there a problem with the phone’s? My cell kept going and he did NOT even text? What a doofus I told him he was, and that I did not want to kiss a doofus b/c it is bad luck. I told him when he grewup he would NOT be worthey of me so NOT to even to try now. FOOEY!

But even tho I have DUMPED David, there is someone with some potential I met!!!! The Maiter Dee in the resturant we ate at yesterday was Equadorian, and he asked me 3 times if he could go out with me and cook me a dinner at his place. He said his name was Gonzalo. Gonzalo is NOT the guy you see comeing in and out of the kitchen, but the guy you meet when you first come into the resturant area of the hotel. He lookes alot like Antonio Banderis but smaller, about 5 foot 3, with a Equadorian accent !!!! He almost look’s like a horse jockey if he wore a striped shirt. Myrna says I could probabley meet him for coffee or something, but would NOT go to his apartement. Mabye I will ask Myrna to go with me. He has our firm telephone b/c he was the guy we agreed with the menu on for our big party. I hope I am doeing the right thing. I will wait until after the party to see if I want to see him. He is probabley the cutest Equadorian I have met, but his name will take a littel getting used to.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

emmboss my full name on it

Back on the theme of identifiable Ellen relics (Ellics? ELLic's?) You already know what to do if you ever see this one. Speaking of Ellen's full name, I'm still waiting on the middle name. If you put a gun to my head I'd say Leyeh, but hopefully she'll share at some point.

Ellen :

11/29/2012 at 2:03 pm

When I gradueated LAW SCHOOL and told my father I would be workeing in litiegieation, he went out to a VERY important luggage place in New York City and bought me a LIT BAG, and he had them emmboss my full name on it, so that if I were ever to loose it that I would get it back. Also, by haveing my NAME on it, it would not get confused with all of the other lawyer’s, who had similear litieigation bag’s like it, b/c it look’s the same as other’s who are goeing to court every day with case’s and breif’s. Yay!!!

Mine is very large so I carry every thing in it, includeing my gym clothe’s and my lunch, and my purse. It does NOT really pay to carry to many things on the SUBWAY.

My DAD NEVER told me how much he paid for the bag, but all of the guy’s come up to me to admire the bag. Unfortunately, that’s also how some doofus got my name and called my firm to see if I was interested in goieng out with him. FOOEY! I guess I have to take the good with the bad! Yay!

I guess I am the concerge

Ellen :

11/29/2012 at 10:29 am

What a coincedence! The manageing partner attended a seminar for manageing partner’s who work at other law firms and came back with what must be the same satisfaction survey. He aksed each of us to FILL it out and get it back to him by DECEMBER 1, which is SATURDAY!!!! I SERIUSLY do NOT think he is doeing any work on it over the weekend, but HE set the deadline, NOT us.

The survey has all of these dumb question’s which do NOT even apply to our firm. We do NOT have an excercise facility, so the 3 question’s about it I CANNOT even answer. Also, there is a question about the “firm chef”. We do NOT have one, so why is he akseing us to rate the quality of the chef, and the menu selection? FOOEY! Now I think we should have one, but we do NOT even have a full KITCHEN! It realy does NOT make any sense.

Finaly, the survey say’s we should rate the quality of our “concierge service”. What on earth is that? I know there is a concierge in a hotel that get’s you ticket’s and special food’s and tell’s you where to go to eat, but NOT at our law firm. I do alot of this MYSELF. The manageing partner makes ME go out to CRUMBS when he want’s to get the best cookie’s and muffin’s and I am the one that sugested the place for our holiday party. I guess I am the concerge, so I will rate me #1. Yay!

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

NOT sure if he is stareing at my teeth when he is suposed to be

sic, "Bringeing"

I think this is it, folks: I've clinched my existing hunch that Ellen went to GW both for undergrad and law school. A freind-classmate from her dorm? Who ended up being a dentist, rather than, well, a lawyer? (It doesn't appear GW Law offers any student housing anyway.)

Why am I so good at this job. Why.

Ellen :

11/28/2012 at 5:43 pm

My dad says this could be because of something called COB (coordination of benefit’s). If you have two insurance carrier’s, they figure out who pay’s first and who pay’s next, so if your dentist knows you have coverage, all of a sudden you get charged more, b/c he will have to get his SECRETARY to do MORE to get paid, and mabye colect twice.

My dad and Grandma Leyeh both have good dental insurance (Grandma Leyeh also has a medicare GAP program dad says), but they go to the same dentist that is a family freind. My dad says he is good on the billeing, so that’s good. I do NOT use him any more b/c his eye’s do not look at me, but they look down alot, so I am NOT sure if he is stareing at my teeth when he is suposed to be. Instead I have a girlfreind I first met at GW while we were in the same dorm. She is a dentist now and she needed cleint’s so I was her first. Yay!

want’s to transition responsibility for all of this

When I saw a post on household allocation of money, I had a feeling something like the below was probably coming down the pipeline. No news here on Dad's financial authorities, though she left out what to me is the biggest one: he controls her checking account. I don't think she can make any withdrawals or purchases without his signoff, so I'm not sure what she means here about being "in charge of writeing all checks." The Sunshine Girls, in comment's here, had further speculated that Dad wants to retire soon, hence the increased pressure for her to get married ASAP (aside from her eggs growing stale, or however they put it). This post supports their thinking.

I notice that she reports giving up finding anyone "close." Does this mean she's thinking of adjusting her settings on eHarmony to show matches far and wide? (NB: No, she has never mentioned being on eHarmony, this is just my superbly educated guess.) Other possibilities--assuming her questions about men in China came only out of curiosity?

Ellen :

11/28/2012 at 1:25 pm

I am in charge of writeing all check’s on my own bank account, but my DAD manage’s it for me, and ocassionally deposit’s money in it when I need him to do so. Yay dad!

He also pay’s the morgage on my CO-OP, but I pay the maintanence myself to the CO-OP every month. My dad also manage’s my 401(k) retirement account for me and is handeling a seperate brokerage account he has mantained for me ever since I was a MINOR under the UNIFORM Gift’s to MINOR’s act. It still says this on the account, even tho I am HARDLY a minor.

My dad also doe’s my taxe’s for me (BOTH FEDERAL + NY STATE + NY CITY), but I sign all of these return’s.

My dad want’s to transition responsibility for all of this once I get MARRIED, but so far, that is NOT in the card’s b/c most guys are onley interested in spendeing money not saveing for my retirement. If ONLEY I could find a guy to marry like my dad! That is not possible I think, b/c he was recruited by MENSA but turned them down.

The dummies I meet here in NYC are realy dumb compared to him, so I stopped thinkeing I could find anyone close. FOOEY!

ALWAY’s a tough situation

As Thanksgiving recedes from memory and ignore-your-tuchus week apparently hasn't become a regular thing, Ellen's moving past her denial about cumulative weight gain today. Obviously she's still stopping traffic everywhere she goe's, but even with 20% reimbursement for an entirely new wardrobe, and Roberta and Myrna as Macy's companions, it sounds like she doesn't want to settle in at this larger size.
Meanwhile, a distinct chuckel for this response to complaints about the menu for Manageing & MANAGEING's holiday event. The person who threatened to crash the party and threw in a demand for vegetarian options was me. Sometimes I think we have a real give-and-take going hear!

Ellen :

11/28/2012 at 10:53 am

This is ALWAY’s a tough situation. When I was in law school, my older freind who had the same situation. Her manger did NOT back her up on a major issue, and it was hurtful. They did not get along afterward’s, so she applied to law school, and she is now an A District Attorney in Maryland.

Yesterday the manageing partner and I sampeled the food at the hotel. YUM!!!!!!!

We finally decided on a choice of filet minnon, salmon filet, stuffed chicken breast, and pasta primevera. This way NO one will be abel to say we have not accomodated them. Yay!!!!

We are ALSO bringeing in a KOSHER meal for 2 cleint’s who need to eat special meal’s.

B/c I am now so heavy, I have to excercise it all off at the NYSC after work today. FOOEY!

LIVES VICAROUSLY thru me

Seriously, only someone in the twilight of life, with no romantic interests and dwindling teeth, would LIVE VICAROUSLY thru Ellen. If I ever catch myself doing that, I'll know it's time to start a blog or something.

Ellen :

11/27/2012 at 4:24 pm

Grandma Leyeh just got implants on her front teeth! Yay! She look’s great but almost unreal b/c her teeth look like Farra Fawcit’s teeth! The dentist’s father wants to date her! She is not interested in men or sex anymore. She says that she LIVES VICAROUSLY thru me! But my life is BOREING, working all day on my CASELODEs and trying to find a decent guy to MARRY!

But so far all I have come up with are DUDS! Yuk, my mom says when I talk of these immature doofuses that are in my life! I do not want a husband that wears a baseball cap backward’s! Or drink’s! FOOEY on that!!!!!!

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

managed to sniff it out and eat it!

Almost grosser than the parallel post on MP's malodorous lunchbox. The common denominator is undesirable men and their eating habits.

Ellen :

11/27/2012 at 2:18 pm

This is what happens to ME with my LIT BAG!

Fortunately my LIT BAG is built with alot of space in it (it’s more like a cardbord BOX) and one time I left a bannanna in it and it was 100% black before I even realised that there was a bannanna in there! At the time, I was dateing Alan, and he was alway’s hungry, so when he started looking thru my bag for DORITO’S, he managed to sniff it out and eat it! Yay for him, b/c the LIT BAG was begining to smell funny.

Now I carry my LIT BAG but put FOOD in a plastic bag so that it will NOT get my case’s all wet. FOOEY!

I do NOT want to waste alot of time with Jim

So much for that! But of course Madeline doesn't want to travel with Jim. He's just going to max out his expense account on adult films and make grunteing noises at professional sporting events anyway.
I hadn't known that Dad's and MP's shared stewardship of Ellen's ladygarden was actually in writing anywhere--though again, I'd be wrong to be surprised. The theme of total male control is ever-present here, and she's never been one for subtlety (except of the accidental type). I do wonder who's on duty when she's neither on Long Island, the family home, nor at work. The long-term solution, obviously, is an approved husband, but until he comes along all we have is David, with the fruitless phone calls, and bordaline stalker Harold. Sunshine Girls, I know you've attempted to appoint me (and occasionally Kat) as Ellen's round-the-clock chaperones, but as we've discussed that isn't practical.

Ellen :

11/27/2012 at 11:57 am

Mine was a drunk who got surley when he had to much to drink. Now I am very careful before deceiding to date someone. He must 1) have a job; 2) not drink; 3) be very attentive to me and MY needs and 4) not want me to cook for him all the time. These standard’s were agreed upon in a MOU between me and my dad and the manageing partner, who watche’s over me while at work.

So the manageing partner said that MADELINE does not want to deal with Jim. FOOEY! That leave’s it up to me unless I can get her to change her mind. Mabye I should tell her he is a big steak eater, b/c she like’s to go to Morton’s. I have to find out if there is a MORTON’s in Saint Louis. If YES, mabye I could get her to go and take Jim. Does the hive have any other idea’s? B/c I do NOT want to waste alot of time with Jim, even if I am billeing PORTAL TO PORTAL.

alot older and less tolerant of stupeidity

And we're back! Thanks a million to Kat for being hilariously responsive to my tech troubles today. Hopefully we won't have to tug at her sleeve again.

Below: Madeline is a new character, presumably a female partner at Manageing & MANAGEING and possibly created in response to my repeated speculations that there were virtually no women there, + no older female figures in Ellen's professional life (before Roberta burst onto the scene, of course). I kind of do hope that Madeline goes to STL with Jim, instead of Ellen making another trip. NYC Corporettes keep holding meet-ups, and while everyone else may have given up on a GUEST of honor, I haven't.

Ellen :

11/26/2012 at 3:20 pm

I unfortunateley will need a new belt soon. My waistline has gone up a full INCH since the summer, and the holiday’s have NOT realy even kicked in yet. FOOEY!

But There is one good thing hapening! I told the manageing partner about NOT wanting to go back to Saint Louis b/c I am way to busy, and he said he would ask Madeline today if she would want to learn Anti-Trust and do diliegience law, and then get back to the general council at Jim’s firm if yes.

I do NOT know if this is such a good idea, b/c Madeline has been out of law school so many years — I think since the 1970′s, and she has alway’s been just doeing PI defense here, which is not at all like the very complex Anti-Trust and do diliegence I learned, which is STRICTELY corporate in nature.

I have had alot of different expereiences here at the firm thank’s to the manageing partner, both in litiegeation as well as in corporate, and I also am not sure Madeline would realy click with Jim b/c she is alot older and less tolerant of stupeidity then I am.

I am to go tomorrow with the manageing partner to sample the restaurant’s food choices for our big holiday affair. My dad warned me not to eat to much between now and the holiday’s — unless I wanted to fund an entire new wardrobe. FOOEY on that. Instead, I am goeing to excercise alot on the weekends and work my tush off I told him.

My dad also is rebalanceing the investements in my 401(k) for me NOW, based on the fiskill cliff, whatever that is. He say’s that I need to make sure to be DEEP in investement’s that do NOT have alot of downside risks, and he know’s alot about risky investements. Yay!

[I'm tentatively declaring absolute crisi's]

FOOEY!!!!!!!!!!

Tell me there's something wrong with what I'm doing today, readers. I am unabel to copy and paste text from Corporette--not from the comments, not from the posts themselves. I've tried various modes of doing so, to no avail. Meanwhile, I can still paste things in from other sites. I'm concerned that settings have been adjusted such that I can't transcribe Ellen here! I have to say Fooey again because this is no less than a life-and-death matter for us.

Because Ellen rarely posts anywhere other than Corporette, I exist entirely at Kat's sufferance. If she doesn't wish to support her para-sites she obviously doesn't have to. There may also be other pitfalls with allowing C+P that have nothing to do with me (or my alter-ego on tumblr, the devil to my angel, to whom I don't give any free publicity--you know who I mean). However, I'm kind of in shock, just because unless these settings are changed back I think I'm out of business.

I will probably post a self-indulgent comment on the next thread, and see if I get any response. I'll check back later regardless, just hoping against hope that this is some temporary glitch. If anyone has any input or suggestions, please pass them on! I also know Kat herself has at least visited here in the past, so in case she's reading: Truly respected holder of my lifeline, I'd love to hear from you if you've made changes to your copying policy. Thank you for your graciousness thus far.

Freinds on this websight, hopefully forever,
ELLENWatch

Ugh, as if I didn’t hate my job enough, I’ve just been informed that a new employee is starting soon and we will have to share a (small) cubicle!
Please send me good vibes for the two positions I’m currently pursuing!!!

Read more: http://corporette.com/2012/11/27/j-crew-lady-jacket-in-blue-tweed/#ixzz2DRXEE0iF

I like that belt, I would wear it over a lot of colors of cardigans.
I’m still looking for my Broadway dress… do you think this looks, um, slutty?

Read more: http://corporette.com/2012/11/26/exotic-leather-skinny-belt/#ixzz2DRWryg7H

Purty…. I like this textured snakeskin belt in hues of blue, green, and black. I can see it being a really distinctive but versatile piece — wear it with all black, navy, teal, or possibly get creative and try it with

Read more: http://corporette.com/2012/11/26/exotic-leather-skinny-belt/#ixzz2DRWpA7HM

Ellen :

11/26/2012 at 3:20 pm

I unfortunateley will need a new belt soon. My waistline has gone up a full INCH since the summer, and the holiday’s have NOT realy even kicked in yet. FOOEY!
But There is one good thing hapening! I told the manageing partner about NOT wanting to go back to Saint Louis b/c I am way to busy, and he said he would ask Madeline today if she would want to learn Anti-Trust and do diliegience law, and then get back to the general council at Jim’s firm if yes.
I do NOT know if this is such a good idea, b/c Madeline has been out of law school so many years — I think since the 1970′s, and she has alway’s been just doeing PI defense here, which is not at all like the very complex Anti-Trust and do diliegence I learned, which is STRICTELY corporate in nature.
I have had alot of different expereiences here at the firm thank’s to the manageing partner, both in litiegeation as well as in corporate, and I also am not sure Madeline would realy click with Jim b/c she is alot older and less tolerant of stupeidity then I am.
I am to go tomorrow with the manageing partner to sample the restaurant’s food choices for our big holiday affair. My dad warned me not to eat to much between now and the holiday’s — unless I wanted to fund an entire new wardrobe. FOOEY on that. Instead, I am goeing to excercise alot on the weekends and work my tush off I told him.
My dad also is rebalanceing the investements in my 401(k) for me NOW, based on the fiskill cliff, whatever that is. He say’s that I need to make sure to be DEEP in investement’s that do NOT have alot of downside risks, and he know’s alot about risky investements. Yay!

Ellen :

11/26/2012 at 3:20 pm

Monday, November 26, 2012

alot of pie’s which I had to Sampel!

Finally she's back! Sure, Lourine Ptooeyed at some point over the long weekend, but other than that I was feeling pretty starved for Thanksgiving. Hope not too many readers or Sunshine Girls have permanently defected.
I'm glad to see that Ellen eventually followed through with her longstanding interest in a pole-dancing class. However, the weight stats just are not adding up here at ELLENWatch. By my count, she's closer to 20 lbs. over the (unspecified) weight that she wants, because all we've heard about for several months have been gains--6, 5, etc. I know beyond knowing that if she'd dropped any weight we would have heard about it immediately, and thus I conclude that she's either adjusted her target or, you know, lost track of basic arithmetic. Marginal literacy may come with marginal numeracy.
I'm a little surprised with David's persistence, and we don't know what Myrna ultimately said on the matter. Meanwhile, I continue to enjoy Harold's penchant for creepily lurkeing in locations where Ellen happens to tread. I'm not saying he does it on purpose, but I'm not saying he doesn't either.

Ellen :

11/26/2012 at 9:49 am

You will LOVE NYC and Broadway! It does NOT matter to much what you WEAR, b/c you are a tourist! But have FUN!

I had alot of fun this weekend — My mom baked a great TURKEY, and I helped to baste the bird while it was cooking! Yay! My dad helped me with another soup run, and he drove me back to the Bronx b/c Myrna wanted to get back earleir then I wanted. I think I put on about 5 pound’s tho! FOOEY! But it was worth it b/c my mom baked alot of pie’s which I had to Sampel!

Can you beleive that David had Adam call Myrna to see why I would NOT want to go out again with him? Hello? Where was he when there was a black-out? I do NOT know, and do NOT WANT TO KNOW. All I know is that he was NOT doeing anything to comfort me when it was windy and rainy and peeople were loosing power! FOOEY on him!

But I met Myrna yesterday and we went to another pole danceing class in Brooklyn. The guy there was stareing at me! Why, I do NOT know. I have to do something to loose weight, my dad says, or they will have to put me in the back of the airplane he says! He is such a kidder! Fooey on that. I am only about 10 pound’s over where I should be and THAT is why I am excerciseing.

I also saw HAROLD hangeing around outside NYSC yesterday, but b/c I was on the OTHER side of the street, I did NOT stop and I do NOT think he saw me. I wonder if he is goeing to show up at the big swanky party the firm is throwing. I do not think so, but if my dad is goeing, then mabye the manageing partner will invite him and his dad. Yuk!

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Thank god for Kat makeing this availeable to USA.

929 Lexington Avenue New York NY 10065‎

Fairly subdued compared to Thanksgiving posts of the past, though I don't know whether to blame autocorrect or a holiday spirit bursting forth for the exceptionally poor mechanics.

But indeed--make it a good one, all of you! I don't know if Ellen plans to take tomorrow off from PO'STING, but I do. I'll be giving thanks for everything ludicrous in the world, and anonymous far-flung freinds with whom to share it.

Ellen :

11/21/2012 at 1:13 pm

It will get better. I had the same thing with my drunk Ex, and I do NOT EVEN THINK OF HIM FOR DAYS, except if I pass Garnet’s which I try not to.

Do what I m doeing! Volunteer in a soup kitchen. We ALL HAVE ALOT TO BE THANKFUL FOR!!! The hive is here to support us where men do NOT UNDERSTAND WE DO! Thank god for Kat makeing this availeable to USA.

I guarantee that next year you will haves moved on –and are happy if you follow my advise! There are plenty of other fish in the sea my mom says, just don’t sellel for the first one you catch! Wait for a fresh clean one that respects YOU FOR YOU, and make sure to throw the SMELLEY ONE’s back!

Happy thanksgiving yo you and the entire HIVE!!!!!!

Yay!

eek :

11/21/2012 at 5:42 pm

Ellen, you are a real woman of genius. When I read your posts, they are narrated in the style of the Bud Light Real Men of Genius guy. TODAY WE SALUTE YOU, law associate that works for the manageing partner with bad breathe!

goeing to head out to my parent’s home

Ellen :

11/21/2012 at 9:45 am

Yay! Fruegel Wednesday’s now!!!!! I love FRUEGEL day’s!!!!!!

I like this shirt, but Frank is NOTORIOUS for stareing at me and the V neckline shows alot. It would not be good for me b/c I would NOT want to do anything to ENCOURAGE HIM. FOOEY!

The manageing partner is letting all of us go early today! Yay!!!! That is, unless we have to send out anything by FEDEX, which I do NOT. So Myrna and I am goeing to head out to my parent’s home for the THANKSGIVING holiday at 5 today, eat Turkey there tomorow, then drive back to NYC FRIDAY. I invited Roberta, but she has her OWN family to eat turkey with. We are still going to meet Roberta to work at the SOUP Kitchen Saturday in the Bronx. Oh, and I am NOT going to do any black Friday shoping this year, b/c of the ELECTRIC power issue.

My dad is geting into it. He is also goieng to drive again to COSTCO to do a can food run for the LONG ISLAND food bank. Yay for Dad!!! Roberta want’s to meet my dad! My dad seem’s to like all this atention, even tho he has had alot of atention in his long career! I am proud of him.

Other then all that, I do NOT have specific plan’s, and b/c I was planning to take FRIDAY off, I will have a 4 day weekend!!! Yay!!!!!!

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

getting served hot dogs on a stick and suschi

TOO BAD for any vegetarian attendees of this holiday dinner! Maybe this is Ellen's way of trying to make sure I won't crash it. No promise's though...especially because a number of first-time introductions are likely to take place that one wouldn't want to miss. Not only Dad-MP, but also Roberta-Dad, Roberta-Frank, Jim-Dad, Jim-Lynn, and (reunited) Roberta-Jim.
MP has met a number of Ellen's relatives already, but especially since Dad's coming armed with pitches--to be implemented when (not if) Ellen succeeds MP, I feel like this could equally end up beautiful or ugly.

Ellen :

11/20/2012 at 1:25 pm

I know this guy! He is near me! Yay! I was so busy b/c the manageing partner has me calling new cleint’s he has brought on to invite them to the firm Holiday party. Because we have cleint’s of all faith’s and religion’s, we are NOT calleing it a Christmas or Hanuaka or Kwanza party, but simpley a HOLIDAY party! Yay!

The firm is renteing out space at a swanky restraunt in mid – December and we are haveing drink’s and a SIT DOWN dinner. The manageing partner did NOT want to do this (to expensive) but I told him that it was hard to eat standeing up and getting served hot dogs on a stick and suschi, b/c it would be ALL OVER the place after a few drink’s.

So I convenced him to have a dinner; and we are getting a choice of grilled tuna, roasted chicken, or filet mingion. Personaly I love the filet, but because of my tuchus, I am going with the roasted chicken. I do NOT trust the tuna. FOOEY! b/c the place does NOT get that much business for the restarurant, instead it gets alot of hotel business, but peeople eat somewhere else. YAY!

I even am goieing to bring my dad, b/c the manageing partner want’s to meet him. My dad has alot of good ideas for the firm if I become the manageing partner, so the manageing partner want’s to see who I am geting all these smart idea’s from! Yay!

Monday, November 19, 2012

wants me to start tweeting on Twitter.

Further evidence Manageing & MANAGEING LLP is barely an operational entity: MP apparently just heard of LinkedIn for the first time. That said, the fact that he's assigning websight responsibility to Ellen, along with tweeting on Twitter, suggests he knows what kind of online charisma she brings. Needless to say I hope if she does set up one or both account's, she announces them on Corporette. 140 characters will probably be a challenge for her at this point...

Ellen :

11/19/2012 at 6:26 pm

The manageing partner want’s me to get on to this Linked in websight and get some recomendation’s like this. Does it cost money? He think’s it is the next Martindale Hubble and we should be a head of the power curve.

How does our law firm get listed here?

He also wants me to start tweeting on Twitter. I do NOT have the time for all of this stuff, particularley b/c I have so much cases to keep on top of. I think HE should be tweeting, not me, b/c after all HE is the manageing partner. FOOEY!

I do think I can get good recomendation’s from Roberta, Jim and alot of the former cleint’s. 2 of them went to another firm when the manageing partner did NOT reduce my hour’s. I told him they were goieing to be mad, but he did NOT listen to me. FOOEY!

especialy b/c it it Thank’sgiving

Ellen's resolution not to shop until everyone is fully recovered from Sandy remains in effect. I assume the analogy to David refers to him not calling during/immediately after the storm. But he still hasn't been given the chance to defend himself.
I cannot imagine that Jim would settle for another associate joining him in STL, especially since Ellen must be the only female associate at Manageing & MANAGEING.

Ellen :

11/19/2012 at 10:17 am

DvF is nice, but not for my figure and it is to expensive! Beside’s I voluntered in Far Rockaway with Myrna yesterday, and the peeople could realy use some help and heat and hot water. Did you know you can see the NY Skyline from Far Rockaway? Yay! It is amazeing!

But it is so diferent there then here b/c of the storm. No heat, hot water and electric is spotty. Myrna gave her scarf to a little boy who was very helpful. Where is every body? Is this realy NYC? It seem’s that peeople forget once they get their electrical apliance’s workeing again. FOOEY on that. Peeople like David onley think of themselve’s and not other’s. It is time we think of other’s, especialy b/c it it Thank’sgiving.

The manageing partner is thinkeing of joining us at the Soup Kitchen in the Bronx if he can be sure his place in the Hamton’s is being atended to properly he says. He also said we should get a picture for the law journal. Do they realy want to see me shovelling out stuffing to peeople? I do NOT think so.

Finaly, Jim want’s to meet me in Saint Louis, but I am to busy in the next 2 weeks, so I voluntered for the manageing partner to sugest another asociate. I am not sure if that will be good for me, b/c I do enjoy the PORTAL TO PORTAL BILLEING. We will see what he say’s.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Make sure he baths regularlery

All of Ellen's brushes with the Old World, it seems, happened during college and involved foul-smelling sweaters. Maybe she introduced this classmate to Mimi?

Ellen :

11/17/2012 at 9:57 am

Make sure he baths regularlery and has good teeth. In college this europeean guy kept Askeing me out b/c he was in my history class. I did NOT show interest but he kept STAREING at me and always grinned withVERY dirty teeth that probabely needed alot of dental work. He also wore the Same argyle sweater that.was smelley. FOOEY! He said he wanted to move here, and I said to myself “not with me mister”. I think he wound up workeing for the parks department, but I am not sure. The key is to make sure he is not a male goldigger! FOOEY!

Friday, November 16, 2012

Not rif-raff, but educeated professioneals!

Someone asks for suggestions for celebrating her husband's birthday, and Ellen warns of the risks of AIDS (or something worse than AIDS). She also expresses regret that she didn't have bikini apple-bobbing parties for Alan while they were dating. Given that Myrna would have attended, I don't think the outcome would have been any better. Que sera, girl.

Meanwhile, we're slowly closing in on Ellen's exact age. She was with Alan for a year at most, and they broke up by spring 2011. Her birthday is in March, so this means she must have turned either 30 or 31 in March 2011. Unless I messed up somewhere, which very occasionally I do, she is now either 31 or 32. We had known she was between 30 and 34, but this is still progress.

Ellen :

11/16/2012 at 2:47 pm

Be carful. When I was 30, I was with Alan, but his idea of a fun night out was to go drinkeing with his dumb accountent friends, and they would then think they were Big Men about Town and start approacheing women to see if they wanted to go out some where else for a drink (or something else).

These were CPA’s! Not rif-raff, but educeated professioneals! So don’t think that your man is diferent. Once they have a few ounces of booze in them, they think they are big lady’s men, and they start preeneing as if the lady’s even care.

It is importent to remember that if your guy does get lucky, he could be bringeing back a “gift” that you don’t want — STD’s, HERPES, AIDS or even WORSE. I could NEVER take that chance.

So I had to wind up dumping Alan when all he did was caruose, drink, and lay around my apartement for day’s and even it was geting bad at work for him b/c he was not abel to do his job with a hangeover. FOOEY!

If you wan’t to do something good for him that is NOT goeing to be bad for you. How about a Mexican apple bobing contest at your place with hot cider? They can’t complain, if the ladies are invited, particularley if the ladies dress in bikini’s! If I was smart a few year’s ago, I would have done this. Fooey, but I do NOT miss Alan. Yay!

the scrunchie was royal BLUE and was sweatie!

Intermittent returns to the theme of scrunchie pack's are one of the things that make my job worthwhile. Whomever is writing these posts really has a genuine respect for Ellen's history and aesthetic. Just as a review, here's the original rainbow scrunchie set post that rocked Corporette almost 2 years ago--I wonder if she can't get them at "the new Target" anymore?--and here's her account of finding the latest value pack on this year's business trip to Pittsburgh. I probably don't need to say this, but if the person who stole a royal BLUE, sweatie scrunchie from the NYSC is an ELLENWatcher who plans to turn it over to me for DNA testing, I'm waiting for the phone call.

And this new datum for Known Information: Ellen's gym membership.

Ellen :

11/16/2012 at 10:06 am

Yay! Fruegel Friday’s! I love FRIDAY’s! This is a cute blouse also, but I have to wait for awhile b/c peeple STILL do not have power. FOOEY!

I was workeing out at the NYSC, and someone took my scrunchie and hairbrush when I was takeing a shower! Why in the world would someone do that? The hairbrush was NOT new and the scrunchie was royal BLUE and was sweatie! I would NEVER wear some one’s else’s SCRUNCHIE. WHATEVER.

I was so smart to get a bag of scrunchie’s instead of one at a time. I think I onley have 5 left. I do NOT want want to have to go back to Pitsburh for more. FOOEY.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

some how related in some way to Scharapova

Comparisons to the world's most beautiful women continue. Ellen doesn't usually describe herself as "not so pretty," however.
As if on demand (and you can strike the "as if") we're being notified that Grandma Leyeh--again, Ellen's father's mother--is still living. Mazel tov!

Ellen :

11/15/2012 at 2:42 pm

I have been SO busy since 8am this morning that I have NOT even had time to look at the web, much less make comment’s! FOOEY! I did not eat lunch and barely had time to go to the bathroom (doubel FOOEY!)

Now that I can breath, (I had to get a pleading out), I can take a minute to say that I have a similar satchel! Yay! I also talked to Myrna about Grandma Leyeh, and then called her to find out about the beauty contest she was in. It turn’s out she did NOT win, but was runner’s up. I guess after 60 year’s, peeple’s memories can change. But Grandma Leyeh remembers everything. She has all the smart’s on her side of the family, and she knows names in Minsk and Pinsk that I should go see.

I told her I do NOT want to go to either place. She also said that her Maiden name was Schapira, which she think’s is some how related in some way to Scharapova, so who know’s–mabye we are all related! Yay! But I am not so pretty and not so tall and not so rich! FOOEY!

Mabye next time I am at a tennis match, I will see if I can say hello. OMG, wouldnt that be crazy?

So now, I have to plan for a return trip to Saint Louis. I realy do NOT like goieing out there, especially b/c Jim does NOT do anything but wear that dumb hat backward’s. Saint Louis lost so what is the big deal? I hope he does NOT want me to wear my hat b/c I gave it away. I did not call David or the fish guy back, and Myrna want’s to go with Roberta and me back up to the Soup Kitchen, but I said it HAS to be on a Saturday or Sunday b/c their is to much work building up here for me during the week for me to goof off with them and eat old slimey turkey roll. FOOEY!

Ru :

11/15/2012 at 3:47 pm

Ellen is my alter-ego. Seriously. How else would we have had the same day?

Reply

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

(red dress/ red pumps / red lipstick)

This one's for the Sunshine Girls. (Or, even more for the Sunshine Girls than the rest of my posts are.) I come to it late, and it's out of order, but here she is answering y'all's question about what Dad does for a living. Senior adviser, clear as mud! You ladies at S&S were right that he's in a position to retire, but it's not clear whether he wants to just yet.
I notice that "he" isn't even named here. Everyone is expected to know MANAGEING PARTNER, so it isn't worth Ellen's effort even to type it out.
I admit to a nagging hunch that this particular post isn't "real." I know that I've long abandoned even this concept, let alone this detective work. But if I give myself any credit at all for having developed a special Ellen sense I have to acknowledge these paragraphs are making it twitch as it hasn't in a long time. I'm playing along per usual, but something doesn't feel right.

Ellen :

11/13/2012 at 7:52 pm

Here’s a question I can ANSWER! Yay! I can help the hive! I you want a raise ASK!!!!

You cant be bashful my DAD says. My dad who still works as a senior adviser, tho he DOES NOT have to always told his bosses how much he wanted. Because he was smart and valued, they ALWAYS gave it to him!

So I get raises when I dress right (red dress/ red pumps / red lipstick) and even tho he ooogles and asks me to walk like a model for him I get a raise and an increase in my clotheing allowance! Yay!

So do what I do and you will be like me!! Yay!!!