peeople with smaller tighter tuchuses

Ellen :

08/30/2013 at 2:09 pm

There was a 20% coupon off of anything at H&M that I saw in AM NY yesterday. Most of the stuff at H&M is for peeople with smaller tighter tuchuses then me, but I go there to and I think I will use the coupon b/c I can for some thing’s! We don’t have to TWERK like Miley Cirrus to buy there clothe’s! FOOEY!

I will report back to the Hive on my weekend at the manageing partner’s next week! Happy Labor Day to the HIVE! YAY!!!!!

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thru funky neaigborhood’s

We haven't heard much about Jim for a while, but recall he's the CLEINT who seemed to be thinking about proposing to Ellen, then setteled back into being a buffoon (permanently, it seems). Unclear why Roberta wants (or feels obligated) to bring him.

Ellen :

08/29/2013 at 3:47 pm

I agree with KC. I have a coupel of cases where the JUDGE is holding court on the 4th, even tho it is AFTER LABOR DAY, but it is also a religious holiday, so what that mean’s is that I have to squeeze in alot of PREP work on TUESDAY when I get back from the HAMTONS so that I can shine in court on Wedenesday. Some weekend! FOOEY!

Roberta agreed that we should drive out together to the manageing partner’s party so she is pickeing me up at 5:15 am on Sunday morning and takeing the LI expressway out before the crowd’s hit the road. This is worse then work b/c I will have to be out front of my apartement waiteing for her to drive down from Riverdele (which is in the Bronx). She asked if Jim could come with us, and even tho I did not really want him to come with us, he has no other way out there (other then the train), so I said OK. All I remember from him is him makeing me drive him all over Queen’s b/c he did NOT have enough money to call his own cab. We have to stop and pick him up also but at least Roberta know’s where he lives (I have no idea — the cabbie drove us thru funky neaigborhood’s in Queens. FOOEY! He had better not stare at my boobies the way he did in St. Louis or I am going to get mad at him. He has not exactely overloaded me with new cases either. FOOEY!

I hope the other poster’s here have a good holiday weekend. I will be back in the office tomorrow workeing on my breif’s and some CLE material I am prepareing for the manageing partner to present to the bar association. He said I have to proof it better this time so that the lawyer’s do not laugh at him again. I think he should read it at least before he get’s up there this time FOOEY!

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as part of direct cleint development

Solid reasons to be pissed at both Sam and MP. And while Ellen's allegiance to the boss man is absolutely indissoluble, the romance very well could go sour. Notice that complaint's about Sam's nose-pickeing trend upward every time he messes up in some unrelated way--here, contacting MP without clearing it with Ellen and then compounding the offense by inviting himself to the Hamton's party. 

Is anyone else concerned that perhaps, all along, Sam's motive has been just as pecuniary as the duo of patriarchs'? (Dad and MP, that is?) In other words, was Sam in this for the business connection from Day 1, texting and calling and smiling about Leyeh strictly out of duty until the day came when he could bypass the tuchus altogether and cut for what he really want's? It isn't an airtight case, but I see it building. 

Either way I admit I'm spoiling for a showdown, ideally in the middle of the party this weekend. Ellen has never gone so quickly from hopeful bride to tripel fooey, and I don't foresee a lot of fun for Sam as a result. Hell hath no fury and all that. 

Ellen :

08/29/2013 at 9:36 am

I like this but the manageing partner does not reimburse unless he like’s it also. Right now, I am very busy with Sunday’s outeing on the manageing partner’s boat and Sam’s inviteing HIMSELF to the party thru the manageing partner. Evidently, I am not takeing him as my date, but the manageing partner has asked him to come as part of direct cleint development. FOOEY!

I was suposed to get credit for him as a potential new cleint, but now the manageing partner is claiming that since Sam called HIM, I should not be considered the development contact for Sam or his firm if they decide to throw us busness. DOUBEL FOOEY!

Actualy, I still dont understand why Sam called the manageing partner directly with OUT telling me first. I wonder if he think’s I am not professioneal enough to present to his firm first so that he can then bring me in AFTER the manageing partner does his schpiel to them, or if he think’s that he was goeing to suprise me by telling me that he is already signed on b/c of me being at the firm, but without consulteing me? I do NOT know what is worse. Tripel FOOEY!

It is goieng to be very odd with him comeing directly, b/c I am NOT going to drive out to the hamton’s with him. I am goeing to have ROBERTA take me b/c she has an SUV with leather seat’s and the radio does NOT have bouggers all over it. FOOEY! I will try to remain professional but am realy steamed at Sam. I wanted to count his firm as MY CLEINT, and now the manageing partner has HORNED in and claimed them for himself, even tho we do NOT even have any work from them yet. I do NOT know where to look when peeople here ask about that firm. Madeline is snickering already. FOOEY on her and her tuchus!

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There is nothing wrong with eateing alot of chocolate at this time.

I like "at this time" here; it almost sounds military in its precision and legitimacy. Maybe I'll do a framed needlepoint. 

Ellen :

08/28/2013 at 4:46 pm

Ooooh! I love TAHARI! As for the OP, hug’s to you! If they did not call you back, you do NOT want to work there anyway! FOOEY on them! Veronique is RIGHT. There is other job’s, just like there willbe other boyfreind’s, b/c they need us as much (IF NOT MORE) then we need them. DOUBEL FOOEY!

There is nothing wrong with eateing alot of chocolate at this time. You can work it off later. You will find another boyfreind. Look at me. I had a job, but my ex abused the privilege of having ME as his girlfreind, so I lost him to alcohohol, and was without a boyfreind for along time, and now this guy Sam is pursuing me. He has a job and money and a car and the onley thing is that he pick’s his nose alot. FOOEY! But dad wants me MARRIED and MOM says he could be OK if he control’s his NOSE pickeing. I have NOT even slept with him but Dad wants me to marry him. I did see his winkie when he sat down, but I do NOT think he was doeing that to flash it to me. I hope he is goeing to keep sending chocolate’s, but this will all come true for you too. I am sure you will find a guy and with any luck, you can marry him and have kids and he can work while you watch the kids and you can get a nice house and your own car. That is what I want so I want for you to have it also. YAY!!

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• Zaine :

  08/28/2013 at 7:10 pm
  Ellen, you are wise beyond your tender years. Any decent guy will be lucky to catch and marry you!
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a potential boyfreind / spouse that does this to his girlfreind / fiiacee?

Makes perfect sense to me! Sam is takeing proper place among the men in Ellen's life--his youth notwithstanding--by asserting totally unfounded control in unrelated areas of her life, and transacting exclusively with other men as he does it (completely over Ellen's pretty little blond head). I'm not sure Dad, MP, or even I would have thought Sam was realistic as a potential husband if he didn't pull sh!t like this. Infuriating, of course, but this narrative is infamous for its thematic continuity. 

My expert prediction is that Ellen is fine with this by COB today. Sure, I'd love to see her develop a relationship with someone who treats her like a peer, and cut off all contact with her Dad too, but this world cares nothing for my whim. 

Ellen :

08/28/2013 at 2:26 pm

Kat, you look great! As for the OP, personaly, b/c of my casekload, much of my vacations in the last 2 year’s are really only “not go physically into work” but stay very close to my MacBook Air all day, where I do all the same work from home. I was hopeing that I would be able to get a new lawyer hired who could assist me, and the manageing partner has been talkeing about it, but so far, he has YET to put an add in the NY Law JOURNAL for a new WC associate.

The manageing partner know’s that I am of the age that I need to have children, so he has been thinking of contingency plans, b/c I will HAVE to take off at least 6 week’s before and after I have children, once I get married, that is.

I found out that Sam called the manageing partner today and asked if he could come meet him. He did not clear this with me first, so I am a littel ticked off that I was bind sided by him. Sam says he is trying to feel out the manageing partner about potential business, but I think he should have come through me FIRST. What does the hive think about a potential boyfreind / spouse that does this to his girlfreind / fiiacee? I did NOT know where to look when the manageing partner came and told me that my freind, Sam, called about a meeting with him. OMG, the more I think about it, the more I am annoyed at Sam. FOOEY!

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My DAD and I am big proponants of EDUCATION.

I suppose this title was served up too easy, but oh well. 

It's nice to finally have a complete roundup of Dad's credential's (though ideally we'd know the fields for all of these degrees too, as well as years, institutions and, for the military, title). 

Ellen :

08/28/2013 at 10:19 am

There are ALWAY’s PLUSSES and MINUSSES associated with changeing jobs. You have the familiar (where you are now) and the unfamiliar (where you may wind up goeing). So my advise is to think about it and NOT to jump to soon b/c you want your resume to look like you have SOME stability.

Moreover, My DAD and I am big proponants of EDUCATION. You sound young, so NOW is the time to get the education. MBA is good for someone who does NOT want to be a JD. While you are YOUNG, let them give you money for the MBA and the time to study. You are right, b/c alot of places work you so hard you can NOT study for the MBA, even if they paid for all of it.

My dad got a BS, an MS, an MBA and a PHD, and in all of them he got either the school or the places he worked to pay for it b/c they needed for him to be a researchear or a teacher when getting those degrees. When he was in the milieary, they paid for him to take some advanced non-degree program at HARVARD even after he had a PHD. Dad always says I should do this if the manageing partner will pay for it.

Finaly, if you have the MBA before you get married, you can alway’s have a fall back to go back to if you want to work after you start haveing babies. That is why I personaly prefer to have babies and a part time job later, probabley as a JUDGE at this point. But first, I need to find the right guy, and hopefuly it is SAM, if he stops pickeing his nose! FOOEY!

I am very busy with Margie planning the party, so I have to call her. Have a great day to all at the HIVE! YAY!!!!

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bringeing him might lead peeople to beleive we are sleepeing together

Wonderful, Susie. It's truly inspiring to have so many reader's Ellening it up these days with advice, concern, scorn, reassurance, what have you.

Meanwhile, of course Margie wants Sam to come to the party. She's curious (nosy) and has heard from her husband that this might mean bringeing in new business. I think Roberta's opinion would be more relevant (and presumably she will be there too). Also, would this mean introducing Sam to HAROLD? I can see both pros and cons there.

Ellen :

08/27/2013 at 4:52 pm

Hug’s to you! I guess I am NOT the onley one with a good manageing partner. Once in a while I forget to do something, but when I do, the manageing partner is very understanding. Right now, I have been spending alot of time on the phone with Margie planning our firm’s Labor Day boating feast. Margie is getting FLANK steak for the beef eater’s and is grilling alot of veggies for the non-meat eater’s. The manageing partner does says we can bring a significant OTHER, so I am thinking about whether to invite Sam. Spouses MUST come. I am NOT sure about this b/c bringeing him might lead peeople to beleive we are sleepeing together when we are NOT. I do NOT want to sleep with him yet, and I am petrified that he will start pickeing his nose over the potatoe salad, or WORSE. On the other hand, his firm could become a cleint, so if I can bring his firm in, I could be a HERO. Margie think’s I should invite him, so what does the HIVE think? I do not want to make a mistake! OMG!

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• Susie :

  08/28/2013 at 12:35 am
  Let’s take a look at the facts, shall we? He’s 1) vegan; 2) a nosepicker; and 3) a winkie flasher. As they say in baseball, 3 strikes and you’re OUT! Dump the zero, get a hero. You can do a lot better than this, just focus on losing more weight and then you can find a real catch. Yay!
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or I will get BUNNION’s

This remind's me of the post revealing that Margie has BUNION'S and that Ellen seemed to believe they were contagious. Hence the decision not to take a raise in the form of hand-me-down shoes from MP's house. Lourine had broached this issue as well, just a few days earlier. 

Highlight below: a rare instance of pattern recognition and critical thinking. You couldn't necessarily practice law on this, but I'm impressed.

Ellen :

08/27/2013 at 2:46 pm

I have very W-I-D-E feet — not big feet, but wide feet. My dad says that when I was a baby, all of his freind’s called me Daisy Duck, b/c I was just learning to waddle and my feet kept me from tippeing over!

It is NOT to dificult to find shoe’s for me, but sometimes the very styleish shoe’s simply do NOT come as wide as I would like so I just squeeze into them. Mom says I need to look out or I will get BUNNION’s but so far so good. Dad says that my wide feet is genetic, as is my now wider tuchus, and they both come from MOM’s side of the family. It seem’s that every time some less attractive family trait is brought up, it turn’s out it is NEVER from HIS side of the family, but each time I hear about it, its from MOM’s side, and Grandma Leyeh is alway’s the original source of the information.

Rosa, on the other hand, has very normal/slim feet, so she can wear almost any shoe. Also, she was a ballerina as a young child, but gave it up long before she decided to get MARRIED and have kid’s. She still does alot of ballerina thing’s, and dad loves it. He does NOT like it when I try to imitate, b/c I am more clumsey, even with my duck feet. FOOEY!

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“I don’t like to see starveing lawyer’s!”

Finally, confirmed: Ellen showed her tuchus at the beach over this past weekend, with Sam, and TBOK she did not loose 7 pound's in preparation. It seems like one by one, the barriers to this union are falling away: Dad seems ready to finalize, Sam isn't afraid of Grandma Leyeh, and now Ellen's weight and hip measurements seem to be considered a plus.

Btw, the reason Ellen's no longer welcome at Bloomie's Carpet Department (see below) is that she apparently scraped dog poop off on their wares a few months ago. Manhattan ELLENWatchers, does this mean some Bloomingdale's staff would be able to describe Ellen for us, or even show us a picture (for purposes of banning her from the sales floor?) Anyone planning to stop by on lunch break?

Ellen :

08/27/2013 at 10:04 am

I love the blue plaid dress! I could go to Bloomie’s to try it on, but I will NEED to stay away from the Carpet Departement b/c they know me now. FOOEY!

Sam sent over a big box of cookie’s from CRUMBS! Yay! (but my dad would be furius if he found out b/c he wants me to make my tuchus shrink, not grow). So in the spirit of shareing, I put the box out on Lynn’s desk and everyone is grazing on the assortement of cookie that Sam sent. He onley said one thing. “I don’t like to see starveing lawyer’s!” He must think I am very svelte and want’s to turn me into his Thanks giving turkey? He did see my tuchus on the beach and he must have liked what he saw I guess. I won’t tell dad about the CRUMB’s cookie’s b/c dad is not happy that my FITBIT useage has gone down. That is b/c I have been VERY busy with my case work and have NOT been abel to walk to work in the morning.

I have a depo at 11:00, but have to go to the courthouse do it b/c the plaintiff will NOT come to our office. His counsel, a lawyer named JAY, say’s he does NOT want him here, and he does NOT even have an office of his own. FOOEY!

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• CKB :

  08/27/2013 at 11:13 am
  You never know Ellen. Some men like big tuchus. I know my husband is one!
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Is this a show stopper?

I think she may have meant "deal breaker," but at least she's understood. I actually would have liked to see some responses re considering marrying a guy who picks his nose...but alas. Just mania at the prospect of a phone call from Roberta. (And I join in it, by the way--make sure I'm next up, will you? I'm picturing Ask E. Jean from Elle Magazine.)

Ellen :

08/26/2013 at 5:08 pm

I love this bracelet! And it is NOT expensive either. I wonder if this is 18 Karat’s? As for the OP, Yes, you can live in NYC, but NOT in Manhattan. In NYC, You can live in Riverdale (it is the Bronx) near Roberta, and she has a great place near public transportation, and you are still in the City. Even tho it is the Bronx, it is not what you think of when peeople talk about the Bronx. There are trees, and you can even see the Hudson River! If you want I can get Roberta to call you, and she works as an attorney in-house.

You can also find alot of places in Long Island, and that is onley a train ride away on the LIRR, and there are plenty of places on the NORTH SHORE and the SOUTH SHORE. It all depend’s on which side of Jericho Turnpike you want to live, and if you like the Beach (Ocean – yay) or the Sound (not as much).

Sam said he was lookeing at places in Manhasset (North Shore) for a house. I hope he does not buy something cheep, b/c he is keeping his place in Tribecca, which I have never seen, but which MYRNA says is outragous. Myrna keeps pushing me to be romantic with Sam, but I just can NOT think of that yet. He has to make some kind of move first and even then, the boouger thing is alway’s on my mind. FOOEY!

What would the hive do about boougers? Is this a show stopper? Myrna says no, and mom says no, but I dare NOT ask Dad about this yet.

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• Gov anon :

  08/26/2013 at 5:13 pm
  OP, you should definitely take Ellen up on her offer to have Roberta call you.
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  • NYC :

    08/26/2013 at 5:33 pm
    Oh hell yes. (Thanks everyone for the optimistic posts! You really cheered me up.)
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covered in petrified boouger’s

Yep, things proceeding apace. I particularly like Mom's affirmation that nose-picking doesn't matter as soon as Ellen gets her Beemer. (Does anyone use that term anymore?) Further, confirmation that Dad is getting so serious so quickly because he wants out of the duty to manage Ellen's accounts, aaaaand we know somebody's age with certainty for what is I think the first time ever. 

Speaking of age, I don't know where this "much older" is comeing from. With Ellen having been born in '80 or '81, they have less than a handful of years between them. I suppose if she wants to start vanity-aging herself I will face ethical quandaries about whether to play along.

Ellen :

08/26/2013 at 2:57 pm

I would LOVE to be abel to wear Manolo’s but I do NOT have alot of money and if I did, then peeople would think I have alot of money and I do not YET. If I marry a guy with alot of money, then mabye he will let me buy Manolo’s, but for the time being, I have to rely on Anne Klein, Zara and a few other outlet’s for my clotheing, even with the clotheing allowance.

Sam is very anxious to pursue me, and when he drove me back to the city, he hinted that we should maybe go to the Hamton’s together this weekend. I told him that I had plan’s (I do NOT), b/c I do NOT want to look like I am to availabel for him. He told me we could go after Labor Day if I wanted and I said mabye.

Dad gave Sam a list of thing’s he wanted answer’s to, but Sam will not share that list with me. It is clear Dad is trying to get Sam to take over my finance’s, b/c he work’s for a big investment house and know’s alot about money management. Sam asked me what the carrying charge’s are on my apartement is, but I said I did not know. He talked about renting out my apartement as a source of income, and the onley way that would make any sense is if I did NOT live there. And the onley way I would not live there is if I had to move out and I would onley move out if I got a job out of town, or got MARRIED (mini-yay), but to the right guy.

The onley thing I am totally skeeved about is the nose picking. Dad did not see it, but I did. I also saw his car, and the push butten’s on his dash board radio are filthy and I think covered in petrified boouger’s. I told mom about that and she said not to worry, b/c Sam would surely buy me my OWN BMW SUV to shuttel around town with the kid’s.

Well that could fix the car, but what about our house? Would I have to find boouger’s everywhere I turned in the house? I do NOT want to be finding that inside the refrigerator, or worse, in the bedroom. I want to be clean and he would need to stop doing that. At his age (36), he should know better, but since he is much older then me, I have dificulty haveing him take me to seriousely. He just consider’s me some kind of cute plaything to show around (like Ed does with Rosa).

He was told by Dad that Ed and Rosa need to see him, as well as Grandma Leyeh. OMG, what will happen if they start askeing alot of questions? FOOEY!

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let alone talked seriously about marrage

Thus far no surprises. It is somewhat relieving (or frustrating, depending on you're perspective) to see that Ellen has any notion whatsoever that you shouldn't marry someone you don't actually know.

Ellen :

08/26/2013 at 9:55 am

I agree. Shorter peeople like me can NOT pull this off, but Rosa probabley can. I have agreat story to tell about the weekend. Sam was a bit of a dork with Dad, but Dad seems to like him and made him a confidential proposition that Sam said involved me. Sam did tell me that he has a list of thing’s that Dad wants him to satisfy with b/f he will let Sam marry me. I was MORTIFIED, b/c I have not realy even dated Sam yet, let alone talked seriously about marrage. FOOEY!

The most detailed thing I told him about was Grandma Leyeh’s proposition and I saw (INADVERTEANTLY) Sam’s winkie when he sat down Indian Style on my carpet. So I do NOT think I am ready for marrage, tho I do want the $50K. I have a big depo to prepare for so I will catch you up later. YAY!

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many a pair of shoe chocked full of dog poop

An outstandeing performance, Francie Nolan. Both in content and format. Please keep at it.

I appreciate the forethought on Sam's first tuchus-viewing, but we have no comment here on whether Ellen feels she's ready for it. Or is she actually eager? Meanwhile, the 30 questions promises to yield some good material, and I say it is a HUGE DEEL that she's using the B-word, if only "today." 

Ellen :

08/23/2013 at 2:43 pm

YAY!!!! Open Thread’s!!!!! It’s Friday, Kat, and I love Open thread’s! I love these shoe’s but they are OPENTOE’s and the manageing partner will NOT let me wear open toe’s and he will NOT reimburse me for OPEN TOE shoe’s b/c he thinks it is unprofesional for me to go to court with OPEN toe shoe’s.

I think I agree, b/c men like to look at our toe’s, and in NYC, it is dangerous to walk around with open toe’s on the Upper East Side b/c lots of peeople do NOT clean up after their DOG’s, and that means alot of dog poop on the side walks to step in. FOOEY! I have had many a pair of shoe chocked full of dog poop, and my NIKE Air’s have had to be professionaly scraped by a shoe repair person. Onley once was I able to clean my own shoe’s when I went to BLOOMIE’s! YAY! I have not been back in the Carpet department for month’s. DOUBEL FOOEY!

Sam is driving up to pick me up very early Saturday morning, and he is first takeing me out to the beach (JONES BEACH) for the day. He will then see my tuchus b/c it is goieng to be a nice day and I can’t wear my cover up all the time we are on the beach. From there, he will drive us to Mom and Dad and hopefully Dad will like him.

Dad says he has a list of 30 question’s for Sam, so I know it is serious. He never asked Alan more then mabye 5 or 6 question’s, and most of that was just about his family and his name. So I will keep my finger’s crossed and hope they like Sam, but I am nervous b/c Sam is suposedly sensitive and I do NOT want Dad to bully him like he does with Ed. I might loose Sam if Dad is to pushy. We will see! At least I have a boyfreind today. Yay!

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• Francie Nolan :

  08/23/2013 at 3:06 pm
  Ellen wear a Sarong to cover your tuchas, you can wear that and show off your svelte bodice. Also you can stroll up and down the Boredwalk to get your steps in. Show Sam the the bandshell maybe there will be a band playing and you can dance the merengue.
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a guy who got a bad bris

What an odd non-sequitur (P. 2)--even for Ellen.

Ellen :

08/22/2013 at 4:55 pm

I think it depend’s on how much you are makeing and how much you can AFFORD. $50 is good for some, $100 for other’s. If you are goeing to the wedding with a GUEST, you should give MORE then you would if you are goeing alone, or NOT at all. After all, it costs money for catering and food and renting the hall or church or whatever, and DAD says that you absolutely HAVE to grease the person who marries’ you ahead of time so that he does NOT embarass you by saying the wrong thing before you get MARRIED!

It is very easy to be a MAN (or woman) of the cloth, Dad says. He says that peeople get very nervous when they have a religious ceremony, either a bris, a wedding, a bar mitzveh, confirmation, or even a funeral, and the man of the cloth MUST be good and get greased. I think you must get a steady handed guy to do your son’s bris, otherwise your son (and those women he eventually dates) will never forgive or forget you. I remember my FIRST college room mate went out with a guy who got a bad bris, and she did NOT want to date him just b/c of that, and that was about 18 or 19 year’s later! FOOEY!

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NOT takeing him up on his 6 figure offer

Thank's to the groupie who alerted me to this and one other post that didn't appear until late (from yesterday, thus out of order). Not much to say about this one, other than it's interesting Ellen didn't attribute any amorous motive to the turned-out-to-be-pizza guy. 

Ellen :

08/22/2013 at 2:35 pm

I almost had this problem myself! When I was gradueating from law school, I did NOT have a firm offer from a really decent place. So before my dad lined me up with this strange process serviceing Job in NYC, I met a guy at a pub in Georgetown who told me that with my look’s brains and personalty, I could come work for him in Virginia Beach, where he had the monoply on selling flood insurance, and I could make at least 6 figure’s a year. Back then that sounded like alot of money (and it still is, of course), so I told my DAD about it and he was skeptical. He told me he wanted to investigate and to get the guy’s business card (I only got his phone number). Dad could NOT find his business and his investigation on the web came up empty, so when I called him, some young girl (mabye 13 or 14) answered and said that her dad was out delivering pizza’s. I said is this the same guy that sell’s FLOOD insurance , and she said yes. So I asked her why he had to deliver pizza’s if he was makeing alot of money and she said he needed a second job to make end’s meet. FOOEY I thought, b/c the job was not goeing to happen.

So I wound up NOT takeing him up on his 6 figure offer, and NOT haveing to move down there. Instead I took a job where I delivered subpeenas for a while in NYC until the manageing partner offered me a real WC defense job, even tho I knew absoleutely NOTHING about WC law!!!! Now I am doeing very well, and dad is happy b/c he is goieng to have a Partner in the family and I hope to be abel to get a husband b/c of all of that. YAY!

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but my mom bake’s me pie’s and make’s meat for me to take home so I do NOT have to cook myself

Interesting, this highlight. I have a friend who recently gave up having reasonable conversations with a sister who is in her thirties, so there may be something to this? I probably started developing contempt and judgments around the time I realized that other people exist, not that I'm proud of that.

And Sam officially meets the parent's tomorrow. Freak out.

Ellen :

08/23/2013 at 9:55 am

Yay! Kat!!! It’s Fruegel Friday already!!!! I love fruegel Friday’s! As for the OP, always treat your MOM right b/c she was the one that BORE you. Yes, mabye she is getting a little cranky and opinionated, but in a way, we all are in one way or other. It sound’s like you and me are around the same age — my mom is younger and I am probabley younger then you, but I expect that I am cranky to my mom, but my mom bake’s me pie’s and make’s meat for me to take home so I do NOT have to cook myself in my apartement.

Have a great Friday. Tomorrow, Sam is driveing me out to LI to eat with Mom and Dad, and Mom know’s he is a VEEGAN, so she is goieng to whip up a VEEGAN Salad. YAY!!

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I sweated EVERY day even tho I did NOT even exercize much

Ellen :

08/22/2013 at 9:52 am

When I lived in DC (I did for OVER 8 years), it was ALWAYS super HOT in August, so much so that I always LOST alot of weight by the end of September b/c I sweated EVERY day even tho I did NOT even exercize much when I was in college. By law school, I started to notice my tuchus, and some of the guys who wanted to date me b/c I did not have a steady boyfreind told me they would walk the toe-path every morning with me if I wanted. Unfortuneately, I did not want to b/c I had to study. One guy offered to study and give me all of his outline’s if I dated him, but I did not find him attractive. He was bald and had bad breathe, and looked a little like Dookie Houser. FOOEY!

So for the OP, don’t worry to much if it is hot now — by November it will be very nice and you can walk on the mall without any SHVITZING! YAY!

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I can’t go out and find peeople on the street with WC issue’s

Ellen is serving up the classics today, no? Earlier we had the many-O'ed OOOOGEL, and now she's again putting the word "bodice" to dubious use. She's been doing this forever and ever! See here, here, and here.

SO MUCH is rideing on Dad's impression of Sam at this upcoming cookout. I'm not optimistic about his reaction to the veganism, but money can trump just about anything for Mr. Barshevsky and this guy, while no Paul McCartney, does have it. I suggest eggplant, portobellos, zucchini, squash, or to keep up appearances perhaps vegan veggie burgers/tofurkey hot dogs. UPDATE: Agree that silvercurls did a bang-up job on the response. If Ellen didn't see it before, hopefully she see's it now!

Ellen :

08/21/2013 at 2:39 pm

I love the color and the cut, but I can NOT wear slack’s in the summer OR TO COURT. And the optional skirt, with a tight leather bodice, is NOT something I could wear in the summer either. FOOEY b/c it is VERY cute and I will show ROSA. Even tho she does NOT work, Ed likes to have her dress formally so that he can take her out with his cleint’s — she is even more engageing then I am with new cleint’s.

On that score, the manageing partner says I need to get NEW cleint’s. It is NOT good enough that I keep getting NEW cases from my existing CLEINT’s — he says we NEED TO GROW. I agree, but we do DEFENSE work and that mean’s I can’t go out and find peeople on the street with WC issue’s. He want’s me to teach a CLE where there will be CORPORATE CLEINT’s there. He figure’s that if I talk about WC issues and these CORPORATE’s need us to do the heavy lifting for them, I can get hired. He is probabley right, b/c the in-house peeople usueally give the heavy stuff to us to do. We have to face the judge’s who are usueally VERY temperemental. We have to know how to handel these judge’s, not them and they are happy to just come to the court, even to sit quietely in the back while WE do all the talkeing. YAY!

Dad wants to meet Sam, and he told me to have him drive me out to the house on Saturday. He said he would grill up some steak until I reminded him that Sam was a VEEGAN. FOOEY!

So now, I have to ask Sam first what he would like Dad to grill for him. If anyone in the HIVE has idea’s please let me know, so I can make a good impression and have him MARRY ME! YAY!!!!

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Silvercurls :

08/21/2013 at 11:06 pm

Ellen, Your DAD can gril Veggetablez. Maybe even some tofu if you’ve marinated it for a long time. Marry sam but only if he’s really a GOOD Person, you know, a MENTSCH! Yay!

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• Nonny :

  08/22/2013 at 12:31 am
  @ Silvercurls – well done on the Spellen. I’m very impressed.
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• michelle :

  08/22/2013 at 8:53 am
  well done, SIlvercurls, well done…
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He will be the Turkey with the SUPERTUCHUS

I would have assumed MP tend's to carry any excess weight on his STOMICK, rather than out back, but perhaps around the holidays we will see. 

Note the use of four O's in P. 1. Also, I want to know what the next plans with Sam are, if any.

Ellen :

08/21/2013 at 10:25 am

Kat, this is a great selection, b/c I love Anne Klein! But the V neck could be a probelem with Frank, for obvious oooogeling reasons I will NOT get into here.

For the OP, I think you can do this as long as you are PREGENENT, and mabye for a few month’s after (Rosa did it till she lost the baby pound’s, but she was svelte to begin with), but I do NOT think you should go around WITHOUT buttoning your pant’s b/c you will NEVER loose the weight other wise, especialy the weight in your TUCHUS. Rosa used bella band’s b/c she never bought a big wardrobe, so I can NOT even ask her for her maternity thing’s when I get pregenent, which will be AFTER I get married, and hopefulley VERY soon. Rosa took about a month or 2 to get back to her NORMAL weight of 103. I am so jelous of that. I will never get that light. FOOEY!

Sam sent over a box of GODIVA chocolates, which I left out at Lynn’s desk for everyone to eat. The manageing partner says Sam want’s to fatten me up like a Thanksgiving Turkey so that other guy’s will NOT be interested, but I am NOT eateing that chocolate myself. The manageing partner ate about 6 pieces already, and I onley put it out this morning! He will be the Turkey with the SUPERTUCHUS for Margie, not me! YAY!!!!

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a small Booteak firm

More on the antiquity of most of the set at Manageing & MANAGEING. Also, no surprise that MP plan's to hire his non-credentialed wife to trick out the new office after they move. But isn't he concerned about the local department stores she might notice while in town? He can't prevent her from setting foot outside during breaks, can he? $10k could go awfully fast...

Ellen :

08/20/2013 at 4:18 pm

At my law firm (which is a small Booteak firm by Manhattan standard’s), we have artwork on the wall from the 1940′s, I think. The manageing partner says he pay’s for it as part of the MONTHLY rent to the Landlord. When we move, he said he will consider comision MARGIE to do some decoreating, including wall poster’s and print’s and he says her price is VERY reasoneable. The other partner’s said if he want’s her to decorate, fine, but the FIRM should NOT pay for it b/c she is not a professional interior design person.

The manageing partner says he will ensure she does NOT charge more then $10,000 for her services, but this is NOT goeing well with the others. Personaly, I think I can decorate my OWN office, and get my own poster’s. I saw a MONET at the Met that I can get a print of (framed for less then $100). I would LIKE that, so I will tell the manageing partner to consider getting all of our picture’s from the MET, framed, at a fraction of the cost. YAY!!!

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like Paul MacCartney (but w/o the money

We have the "mini-FOOEY" now? What with doubel, tripel, quadrupel, and super-FOOEYS, the gradations just keep gradating. 

Most notabel here is that Sam apparently already know's about Grandma Leyeh's offer ($50k in the event that Ellen get's married and knocked up extremely soon). By my calculations, we're looking at an October 2014 deadline. Yet he is "amused"? Not "disgusted" or "terrified"? Yet more on the side of keeper for this one, say I.

Ellen :

08/20/2013 at 11:16 am

Hug’s to you. I agree with your approach, tho implementeation by her will be difficult, b/c most alchoholic’s do NOT want to admit they have a probelem to begin with. This is sad, but I hope your approach works!

Alan never admitted he was a drunk, even when he was throwing up in my apartement, and when he was having difficulties in the bedroom. FOOEY on all of that now, but it is a side effect of drinkeing. He I think is still drinkeing, b/c I saw him downtown at a restrarunt with that girlfreind of his, and he had a bottel of wine on the table and he looked smashed. DOUBEL FOOEY.

Sam does not drink I do not think, so that is a plus, and he has manner’s that Alan never had. I still have to deal with that British accent — he kind of sound’s like Paul MacCartney (but w/o the money — mini FOOEY). He talked about haveing a family, so that is a good thing, and he was amused by my Grandma’s $50,000 proposition. I do NOT have alot of time so I should ask him over so Dad can meet him. Dad has been pushing for a while, so mabye he might like Sam. I am just not sure.

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Ellen :

08/20/2013 at 11:22 am

This sound’s to compliecated. I have ONE account where all of my money goe’s in and come’s out of. Dad manage’s it for me and he gets the statement’s for me and reconcile’s my account each month. This way, all I have to do is get an e-mail from him telling me how much money I have, and how much I can spend each week. Dad is getting a littel tired of manageing me every month; that is why he wants to palm me off on a guy who will MARRY me and do this so he can retire to North Carolina and teach at Duke. He also wants to re-connect with his old Service buddie’s down there, like the Kommendant. I think that guy was funny, but would NOT want to know what he has done for the last 30 year’s. FOOEY!

Good luck on manageing your money, but my advise is to keep it simple, and have your dad take care of it for you if you do NOT have a smart husband to do it for you. YAY!

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There are VERY FEW Plane crashe’s

Ellen does often try to provide comfort. 

I'm not going to humor this horndog by linking to the dirty story to which "she" alludes in the last few lines here, but if you want gross mental images of a young Mr. Barshevsky--I sure didn't--feel free to search this site for "GLAZNOST." Fooey. 

Ellen :

08/19/2013 at 3:57 pm

I used to be afreaid of flying, but then I had to learn quick b/c the manageing partner put me on some out of town cases, and I could NOT take a train or a bus there.

So I learned quickley NOT to worry, b/c I talked first to the pilot’s about the planes and they were VERY acomodating. One even took me in the cockpitt, and showed me all of the device’s he used, and he said he was flyeing for over 20 years. Another guy said he would take me out for a drink WHEN (not if) we got there, and that made me confident he would get us there. So you should just take it easy and NOT worry about flying. There are VERY FEW Plane crashe’s. And those are cargo plane’s dad says. Dad knows all about flyeing also b/c he was in the service behind the iron curtain. I cannot tell all the stories I learned from the Komendant, or dad would skewer me. But they are VERY FUNNY (not to mom). YAY!!!!!

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