I learned from mom to be pateint

For anyone who missed it, and while we're talking about tax probelems, here is the background on why Ellen's firm owes so much. No surprise that she's expected to take the fall now, and Dad is of course full of tough talk now that his consulting fees are locked down and he's safe from all other blowback. My outlook on this prospect for a raise is dim at best, too--though it seem's Ellen earnestly wonders whether keeping the clotheing allowance is more important anyway. 

Ellen :

03/31/2014 at 3:18 pm

Fooey! I love this FURLA Satchel, but I just bought another one, and it’s to late to return it b/c the baby spit up on it this weekend at Dad’s house. DOUBEL FOOEY!

I learned from mom to be pateint and not to let men fluster me. The manageing partner has been pusheing for me to get new busness b/c we need to make more money to pay the tax bill, but I realy think I should NOT be responsibel for that b/c I did NOT get a partnership share in those year’s, which must of been alot bigger b/c they were short paying the taxe’s. But NO, the manageing partner want’s me to carry the load on it and pay it off thru more work so that he and his dad can make alot more money. FOOEY!

Dad say’s I should negotiatite for a $75,000 raise, b/c He figure’s if I am going to HAVE TO work another 600 hours (at $700/hour), that is breinging in another $420,000 GROSS into the billiengs, so I should get the equivealant of a “tip” of $75K, which is less then 18%. It make’s alot of sense to me, but I wonder if the manageing partner is goeing to get MAD at me, like he alway’s does when I ask for more money. I DO have expenses, and I DO love this satchel, but I worry that he will take away my clotheing allowance if he gives me another $75K. What does the hive think? Should I even ask for it? Why do I have these delimmas? Why can’t I just get prince Charming to find me and MARRY me already so I can have kid’s! I am so stressed over this now. TRIPEL FOOEY!

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I am the one goeing to IRS Jail

So Ellen is in tax trouble personally as well as in her capacity at Manageing & MANAGEING! What's the common denominator? Dad and his incredible domineering paired with terrible advice, that's what. If nobody else has a paper trail impleicateing him, I do! HE IS THE ONE WHO SHOULD GO TO IRS JAIL. In both matters--though MP should certainly join him for most of the time served. 

Ellen :

03/31/2014 at 11:57 am

Yay! Pricey Monday’s! But who has $1200 for this dress, Kat? OMG, Dad would skewer me! As for the OP, when you come back, you MUST tell us about Belgum. My freind, Willem is from a small town near the German BORDER, but he talk’s alot about BRUGE, and OF COURSE, BRUSSELS. I think I will like Belgum b/c I LOVE Brussel Sprout’s.

This weekend, the tax guy was out at my dad’s and dad is mad that I lost some of my coop paperwork. He said that if the coop was in HIS name, HE would get the paperwork and it would NOT have been lost. FOOEY b/c I can go back to the COOP and the president is on my floor. Also, the tax guy said I should NOT be deducteing so much for my home office. Now I lost $540 as a deduction, and that make’s me pay MORE taxe’s, dad says. Dad told me this tax guy is NOT agresive, and I should NOT worry if I get audited b/c he will be there to do all the talkeing. Madeline say’s ONLY a registered agent can come with you into an IRS audit, unless you are bringeing in your attorney, and DAD is NOT either. FOOEY on Dad b/c I am the one goeing to IRS Jail if there is a probelem. FOOEY!

This weekend, Mom baked me a Peach Cobbler for my birtheday, and Myrna ate most of it last nite when we got home. Dad told me to give ALL of it to her b/c my tuchus was to big, but I said NO, it is my birtheday. Mom agreed and gave me a second pie that dad did NOT even see. YAY!!!!

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Thank’s to the HIVE for wisheing me a HAPPY BIRTHEDAY!

So tentatively I'm going to say that Ellen's actual birthdate is 3-28-81. This is the best information we've ever gotten on it. 

Waiting to hear what happened, if anything, with Dad's freind's son.

Ellen :

03/28/2014 at 2:43 pm

Yay! Open Thread’s! I love Open thread’s! I am leaveing soon to meet Myrna, who is pickeing me up here at work (she get’s to drive to work on Friday’s) and we are heading straight to my parent’s house for dinner and the weekend! Yay! No men for a change unless dad’s freind’s son come’s this weekend for the party. FOOEY–I want at least a coupel of days where MEN are not stareing at us and askeing us dumb question’s!

Myrna says that she is doeing some contest where she run’s up the stair’s of the Empire State Building. Does anyone else in the Hive do this? Is it safe? I would think it’s dusty in there! FOOEY! It must be good for the tuchus, so I will LOAN Myrna my fitbit. I did the math. If it is 100 storie’s high and there are 20 stair’s per storie, then that is 2,000 step’s! Now if she did it 5 time’s I could sleep or watch TV all day and never get off my own tuchus, but I won’t. Thank’s Myrna, and Thank’s to the HIVE for wisheing me a HAPPY BIRTHEDAY! YAY!!!!!!

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I hope he is eligibel

Ed "has to work" for the whole family celebration weekend, and Rosa doesn't understand the detail's? You've been warned, woman. 

As for Prince Harry, pretty sure I'm the one who planted this idea in Ellen's scrunchie-bedecked head. (Come to think of it, I think Ed running around with someone younger was all ELLENWatch too.) You're welcome! But I agree, haveing a runner-up Prince in mind is probably a good idea.

Ellen :

03/28/2014 at 9:36 am

Yay! Fruegel Friday’s!!! I LOVE fruegel Friday’s and Land’s End! Great choice, Kat!!!!!

Rosa got me a great Land’s End sweater last year, and I wash it regularley, and it has NOT shrunken or pille’d up either! I recomend it highly!!!

I am takeing off early today b/c to go home for my Birthday celabration dad and mom are hosteing for me! Rosa and the kid’s are coming down this weekend from Chapaqua, but Ed has to work. He has some sort of big closeing comeing up that he has to work on. Rosa say’s I know more about it then she does, but he does financeial stuff, and I am a WC lawyer, so I am not sure why she think’s that. FOOEY!

Myrna is driveing us out to LI so that will make it alot easier for me to carry all of my stuff back here on Sunday. Myrna says she gets 50% of the pie’s mom bake’s but I have NOT agreed to that. Dad may make her take more if he is unhappy with my tuchus, he said when I told him the cost of my ride. Dad also said that if my tuchus was to big, he would make me walk around the park 5 time’s tomorow. I said it is goieng to rain and he said then an hour on his ellyptical machine. That is OK b/c he has a 55 inch TV to watch on the ellyptical, and I can watch NETFLIX!!! YAY!!!!

It is finally getting alot warmer today when I came in I was not frozen. That is a good thing. I hope Spring is finalley here, as should the rest of the hive! The manageing partner keeps telling us about Margie and the baby. I want a baby also. Dad say’s one of his freind’s is goeing to be over this weekend with his son. I hope he is eligibel, and not a drunken alchoholic. FOOEY on that. I want a PRINCE, and if not Prince Harry, then some other Prince! YAY!!!!

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if it is fasheiaonable if it is busted by the schmoe’s

For the first time, we have a projection for Ellen's look aged a bit: Tory Burch. One could obviously do much worse! But again: RICH HUSBAND(S). If her cheekbones and wind-kissed blond are so great, why can't Ellen bag the goods too? 

Scroll down for another inexplicable apostrophe (we were already seeing po'st, but here we have a word containing no S at all). Also, who is to blame for Frank's leering? Mrs. Frank, duh. Maybe she should get pregnant like Margie (and Lynn? ehhh?????) Unless she's too old, in which case of course the oogleing will continue. 

Ellen :

03/27/2014 at 3:20 pm

Yay! I love Tory Birch and this satchel. Dad say’s that I will probabley eventualley look alot like Tory Birch when I get older. YAY!!!!!

As for the OP, I think that you should get him a sachel (a male version of coarse), b/c if he is goeing to be doieng alot of travelling, then he will need something to carry his stuff in. I bought Dad a huge Schlepper for when he went with mom to Asia about 15 year’s ago, but the dummy’s on the airplane threw the Schlepper onto the conveyer belt and busted the zipper wide open so by the time dad got it, it was all tape’d up. FOOEY!

And this was BEFORE 9/11! DOUBEL Fooey! So I went back to the luggage place with the schlepper and they gave me my money back and I got dad a different schlepper. The morale of the story is: DO NOT go for fashion with a schlepper; go for strength and a good zipper. Who care’s if it is fasheiaonable if it is busted by the schmoe’s in the airport? I was very mad when DAD told me the STORY. FOOEY on Schleppers that can not schlepp!

I asked Frank for another W2, b/c I lost mine, so he has to go back and print one out. He took the chance to stare right at my boobie’s when he said that he would have to looke all over for a replacement. He should not have to looke there to find the W2, right? I wish Frank’s wife would be more giveing to him so that he would not have to be stareing at me and my boobie’s all day! FOOEY on that!

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not the peeeing probelem if he was to tired to see the bowl at night

This estimable business just keeps getting nods here at ELLENWatch! (There are two more). I say this belong's on Yelp, though: I came in complaining about my alcoholic boyfriend and they gave me very practical advice about urination that fell wide of the mark. Get yr wine here! 

I guess the helpful, friendly Garnet staff may be some of the most knowledgeable regarding Alan's drinking, at this point: either they still see him, or they don't. I really doubt moving back in with his mom would have cut down on his visit's there, unless he is also unemployed and out of train fare (granted, possibel). 

Ellen :

03/27/2014 at 10:06 am

This is a great selection, Kat, but Dad say’s I must save now b/c my taxes are due soon. FOOEY!

As for the OP, Yay! I know where you can get a great deal on RED Wine. If you are in NYC, just go to Garnet Liqour’s on Lex and about 66th Street. Look it up on the INTERNET. When I was dateing Alan, he alway’s stopped in there and at the TIME, I did NOT know that it was goeing to be a probelem with his drinkeing, but he alway’s got good RED Wine there. The peeople were also very helpful, and it is near a subway stop so you do NOT have to carry it to far, and also they deliver. Yay!!!

So once Alan got the drinkeing probelem, I told the peeople at Garnet NOT to sell him wine any more b/c he got drunk to often and made a mess in my apartement, includeing throwing up as well as peeing on the floor of the batheroom when he missed the toilet bowl. FOOEY! They recomended that he drink dry grape juice, which would solve the alchohol probelem, but not the peeeing probelem if he was to tired to see the bowl at night. I thanked them and now recomend them to anyone that need’s a place to buy wine in NYC.

Dad told me NOT to forget all my tax stuff. The acountant will be at Dad’s house Saturday, and we BOTH have alot to go over with him. Dad told me they changed the HOME OFFICE RULES, so mabye I can get a bigger deduection this year!!! YAY!!!!!! We will see. Dad does NOT want for me to pay more taxe’s then I have to. YAY!!!!

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There were NO eligibel guy’s at the Museum

Was this ice cream a la mode? No wonder Ellen is worried about tuchus expansion--she was warned last time by a well-wisher that no, such a dessert would absolutely not be "ok," but now ELLENWatcher Tina is chimeing in saying whatever. 

Desappointing, obviously, that no future husband turned up at the museum. You'd think that with Myrna accompanying, they'd at least get a few prospects? Anyway, I don't think we should be so quick to write off the planeatarium. Dark, enclosed spaces allowing one to gaze up wistfully have set the scene for many a marriage proposal!

Ellen :

03/26/2014 at 3:43 pm

Yay! I love Tahari, but b/c of my tuchus, size 4 works for me now. I am thinkeing tho, that dad is right– that if I start buying size 4′s that I will NEVER go back to my size 2′s, and that would mean giveing in to my tuchus, dad says. Dad make’s alot of sense, but it is NOT him walkeing his tuchus off to fit into a size 2, it is me– and I thought that if I DO get some size 4′s that I would be abel to use these in a PINCH, when the size 2′s feel to small b/c of my tuchus, which dad call’s OVERSTUFFED. FOOEY on dad for compareing my tuchus to an overstuffed chair!

Myrna and I saw alot of dinasaur’s at the Museum over the weekend and she took picture’s but I am NOT sure she should of, b/c the guard skowled at her for doing it even tho she onley used an IPHONE!
There were NO eligibel guy’s at the Museum tho. I did NOT want to go to the planeatarium b/c I did NOT want to have to go in the dark and look up. FOOEY!

We did have ice cream at their food court and it was VERY good. Myrna also had a little pasta, but her tuchus is alot smaller then mine. She said she would go back with me again soon. YAY!!!!

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• Tina :

  03/26/2014 at 6:22 pm
  Go with the size 4, and to heck with your dad and his tuchus comments. You have to be comfortable, and not worry about it.
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come’s in so handy!

Many, many commenters here have pointed to the ethical questions in Ellen's apparent billing system. She probably should have specifically mentioned Marie Claire as the reading material while "working from home," but perhaps at this point we're supposed to just know? I'm also picturing her eating at least half a pie and, say, painting toenail's with Myrna. "Gigabities" sounds so fun. 

Ellen :

03/26/2014 at 3:48 pm

Whenever it is bad weather, and I do NOT have court date’s or depo’s I work from home. This mean’s I log on to my email useing my OWN wireless ROOTER on my MacBook air, then handel e-mails. If there are call’s I have Lynn tell them to call me at home, and I answer the call’s from home.

I also do all my laundry, watch the Today Show, includeing the after show with Hoda Copy, and also do my laundry. I also catech up on all of the magazine’s I can NOT read at work, and figure out a way to make sure that I bill at least 12 hours. It is NOT as easy to bill 12 hour’s from home as it is billeing 16 hour’s from work unless I have to work on pleeding’s that have to be filed. For those, I can bill 4 hour’s even if it takes 10 minute’s, so that is why my WIRELESS ROOTER come’s in so handy! YAY for tecknology! The guy from the cabel company want’s me to upgrade to 100 Gigabities, but I think mine is OK as is. I will see what the manageing partner want’s me to do and if I can bill the cabel bill to the firm and our cleint’s. YAY!!!

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alot of my billieangs

Grrreat, Ellen and Mason are the web design team at Manageing & MANAGEING. Where are the ooogleing, stinky TECK guy's? This sounds like a job that would at least keep them in their own office's. 

Ellen :

03/25/2014 at 9:53 am

Yay! I am back in the office today. Yesteday, I got caught in court and could NOT email or p’ost much b/c my Ipad was not geting a signal. FOOEY! When I got back to my house and synched with my home Rooter, I got alot of mesages from work b/c the manageing partner needed information I had on my computer, but Frank thought he deleted it through the network. Fortuneately, he had NOT deleted it, b/c it had alot of my billieangs, and that would be realy bad. DOUBEL FOOEY b/c I would have to bill the cleint’s again just to bill them? I do NOT like doeing that, particularly Roberta, who just threw me 12 more case’s. YAY!!!!!

As for the OP, you should doubel check your email. Some e-mail system’s are terible. For a while when I first started, we were useing HOTMAIL at work, but we did NOT have a good handel on our attacheaments. Also, I thought that the name “HOTMAIL” was not good for our law office’s b/c there are alot of peeople at GW that used hotmail in addition to the school webid. So I convinced the manageing partner to get our VERY OWN email address and he is now happy with it. We still do NOT have a websight of our own yet, but he is putting ME in charge of getting one together with MASON, who is alot younger and closer to what the millenial’s find to be useful. The manageing partner figure’s we can put some thing’s up on the websight that will attract new CLEINT’s, such as model breif’s and pleeading’s, but I said NO, b/c then we would NOT be abel to bill as much for these, if we showed all of our argument’s.

Willem said we need to go to Belgum soon b/c his family want’s to meet me and they want to be sure I am willing to make a family with him. I worry that they are onley lookeing at me like some sort of breeding person for him. FOOEY! I am smart and alot more then a breeder. DOUBEL FOOEY!

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DIRECTLEY to my TUCHUS!

Ellen :

03/26/2014 at 10:46 am

Hug’s to you. I agree that the WINTER can cause all of us to bulk up and have extra POUND’S to lose. In my case it goes DIRECTLEY to my TUCHUS! FOOEY b/c it is hard to exercise your tuchus on the machines at the NYSC. The best you can do is go on the ELEPTICAL and the Treadmill machines, but it is there that all the Guy’s come up to you b/c you are standeing right in front of them and you are captive. DOUBEL FOOEY!

What I recomend is for you to get a FITBIT (they now come in alot of colors) and wear it alway’s. You get to count all steps, and in my case, my dad is abel to see how many step’s I am takeing so that he can tell if my tuchus is getting smaller. With my birthday comeing up, Mom will be bakeing me a peach cobbeler and also an apple pie. Dad say’s I can take both pie’s home with me to NYC b/c it is my birthday, but he expect’s me to work them off with 10,000 extra step’s next week. That is less then 2,000 extra per day, so I should be good.

If you walk everywhere, you will loose the pound’s. But it take’s time. Your tuchus will not look different for a while, mabye 2 week’s. Also just make sure NOT to wear open toe shoe’s or sandels, b/c there is alot of poopie all over the place in NYC, if that is where you are, and you do NOT want to have to scrape the poopie off your shoe’s, or worse yet, your toe’s. TRIPEL FOOEY!

Sam keeps calling and now Willem is texteing to do something today, but I am meeting Roberta outside my office at noon today, and we are walking over to Lord and Taylor to go eat lunch and go shoppeing! YAY!!!!!

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[2th ANNIVER'SARY! Yayy]

That's right, fan's. We've been ELLENWatching here for two whole years now. Amazeing how far we haven't come, right? 

I have gotten the feedback that Real Ellen has probably been itching, this whole time, to contact me privately and reveal herself and all her mysteries. Like "Hi, I am Ellen, big fan of your blog about me, and here's my deal and Why(TF) I've been doing this since 2008." So to acknowledge this inevitability and ease its coming to pass, I am finally connecting an email account to this blog. Have at it, imposter's, fake minions, and real people (if any are out there anymore)! I now await your personal missives: ELLENWatchblog at g m a i l. 

Celebreate good time's!

Come on.

EW

"Possible ELLEN sighting"

Fantastic work, Katie. And please join us over here from time to time, will you? As I said, Ellen has recently shared with us that she like's Ivanka Trump for being so down-to-earth and well-educated. No wonder she was so dessapointed back in July to have this pair of shoes scratch up and cause BUNEIOIN'S after one day! (Alright, that last bit I have added in on my own.) If you don't feel like clicking through, here's the text of the review:

QUALITY OF THIS BRAND AND EXACTLY THIS SHOES IS AMAZINGLY BAD. i'VE BOUGHT 2 PAIRS;BLACK AND GOLD.AFTER FIRST WARING GOLD ONE BECAME WRINCKLY AND SCRATCHED. MATERIAL IS VERY HARD TO WEAR...i AM VERY DESSAPOINTED!!!

But there's a 36-second video too. Enjoy? 

Katie :

03/24/2014 at 7:29 pm

Possible ELLEN sighting below… could it be?

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• Katie :

  03/24/2014 at 7:30 pm
  http://www.amazon.com/review/R2QP7VVE3W8OKH/ref=cm_cr_pr_viewpnt#R2QP7VVE3W8OKH
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• NOLA :

  03/24/2014 at 7:32 pm
  OMG that is hilarious.
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  • Katie :

    03/24/2014 at 7:34 pm
    I hope you were not dessapointed.
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• ELLENWatch :

  03/24/2014 at 8:25 pm
  Many thanks. Our Ellen has mentioned liking Ivanka Trump, and finding all of her far-flung posts takes a village.
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• PHX :

  03/25/2014 at 12:11 am
  I’m beginning to think that perhaps Grandma Leyeh may be related to Andy Kaufman. The level of verisimilitude one gets when finding Ellen’s comments outside the sphere of this site is fascinating and a little scary.
  
  
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lookeing at questionable websights

"Restrunt" is one of the more consistent misspellings--I cannot remember any other variation's and I don't think she's ever put it correctly. 

Not much else to see here, I'm afraid: Myrna's friend who does food prep is the one who grabbed her on a recent attempted date, if folks recall, and Mason and Lynn are still getting the tsk-tsk. Ellen did refrain from mentioning Lynn's weight gain this time, however. It's too early for baby shower invitations, but maybe some other clues are popping up around the office? 

Ellen :

03/24/2014 at 5:20 pm

Yes, you have to remember that peeople who work in a restrunt are NOT generally dietician’s and they then have to relay things to the cook, who is also not alway’s the sharpest KNIFE in the drawer. So do NOT be suprized if they mess up your order’s b/c there are alot of peeople with different allergie’s and some do not like GLUTEN and others do (personaly, I LOVE GLUTEN! YAY!).

I know that Gonzalo often has to deal with peeople with special need’s in the food departement, and he compleained to me that there were so many request’s he could NOT keep them straight. Also, Myrna’s friend who works on the food line–do we realy trust that guy to do anything other than grab tuchus? I wouldn’t. FOOEY on him! Imagine me trusteing him with a complex food order? No way HOZE!!!

I do NOT have access to my email’s today b/c I was in court, but am tryieng to get a new IPAD that has more then WIFI. If I had wireless, I could acess the Internet and my case file’s from anywhere. That’s alot better than goieng into Starbuck’s to get a signal or back home, where I have my OWN wireless ROOTER! YAY!!!! I will see if I can get the manageing partner to buy me a new IPAD and I will give the firm the old one. I think Mason can use it, and I do NOT want him useing it at Lynn’s house b/c who know’s what they would be lookeing at on the INTERNET. DOUBEL FOOEY! ALL I need is for them to be lookeing at questionable websights, b/c I would be the one to get into troubel. TRIPLE FOOEY!

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I would like ice cream a la mode.

I like this one. But my feedback would have been a little different: ice cream with ice cream is very nourishing to the tuchus--more than ok. She seems to really be asking whether it's ok for your father, your fitbit, your marriage prospects, your skirt suit etc. 

Ellen :

03/24/2014 at 2:04 pm

I would like ice cream a la mode. Is that ok for your tuchus?

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• Anon :

  03/24/2014 at 2:16 pm
  You want ice cream with ice cream on top? No, two scoops are never okay for your tuchus. Next thing you know, people will be wanting waffle cones. Nobody wants to see that. 8)
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I do NOT LIKE to Bragg

I beg to differ--I think Bragging come's pretty easily to Ellen and she likes it fine. Anyway, this store is kind of a weird choice and I hope the embedded link appeared automatically...

Ellen :

03/24/2014 at 1:13 pm

I know. I do NOT LIKE to Bragg. I hard the Manageing partner buy me some new shoe’s b/c the janitor mopped over mine with a SMELLEY mop. Mabye in the new place I will have my OWN closet! Yay!!!

Sam wants to take me to the NBA store. Why would I want to go there? FOOEY! I want a guy who UNDERSTANDS me. I want a guy JUST like my dad. FOOEY on men that do not ask my opinion’s on things. DOUBEL FOOEY!

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workeing is a 4 letter word

Here's the update on what further sacreifeces Ellen and her colleagues have to make to help meet the near $65k now owed by the firm in unpaid taxe's. I doubt MP will be doing anything differently whatsoever--indeed I foresee some time off for him since he insists a son is on the way. Meanwhile, Ellen's birthday being in the last week of March is, I am pretty sure, consistent with what we've heard in years past. Can we get a specific date, love? 

I've been very open about ELLENWatch's birthday: March 25, 2012. I'm turning two years old, super soon!

Ellen :

03/21/2014 at 7:20 pm

Yay! Open thread’s! I love open thread’s and this clutch bag! Kat, I do NOT even own a clutch bag and was waiting until I had a more formal dinner affair to BUY one, but this is so cute I will buy it. YAY!!!!

As for the OP, congratulation’s on the new job. I don’t like billeable hours either, especialy b/c the manageing partner has told us we need up up our BILLEABLES by 10% this year to provide for the tax issue as well as the moveing expense’s and furniture. That mean’s I have to do 6,600 hours. This will defineatively cut into my free hours, as I am STILL here doing some clean up work for MONDAY’s court hearing. FOOEY b/c it is goeing to be nice this weekend and I will have to sit in my HOME OFFICE to do work instead of playing, tho I will go to see the dineasor’s. YAY!!!!

One thing for the OP to remember is that no job is all bad or all good. She needs to remember that workeing is a 4 letter word so it will never be great. When you get married, that would be great, as long as your husband does NOT turn out to be a doosh. That is why I have NOT get married yet, b/c all guy’s I meet are dooshy and NOT men who want families and for me to be the one to bring up our babie’s. My birthday is comeing up next week, and Dad is planning a celabration at the house for me. I have to ask the manageing partner if I can take an extra day off. Hopefulley he will agree b/c I have NOT taken vacation realy this year unless you count some snow day’s where I stayed home to work on my MACBOOK AIR. FOOEY if he say’s no!

Myrna says we should also go to the PLANATARIUM but I do NOT like lookeing up at the sky. I alway’s think there is goeing to be a meteour that hits, but so far all I ever got hit with was PIDGEON POOP when I took the Statan Isleand Ferry. The pidgeon must have seen that I was lookeing up, and fooey. I do NOT like Pidgeon’s b/c all they do is poop. DOUBEL FOOEY ON THEM! Have a great weekend to the HIVE, b/c next weekend I have to do my taxe’s with the acountant. FOOEY!!!!!!!

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my score’s were way to low

Ellen :

03/21/2014 at 11:32 am

Yay! Fruegel Friday’s!!!! I love FRUEGEL Friday’s and even this blouse, Kat — great pick. My onley concern is that Frank would be pulling at the bow under the guyze that it was to loose and he should tighten it for me, but in reality, he would be takeing a cheep look at my boobie’s, which he should NOT be doeing! FOOEY! He has his wife’s boobie’s to be stareing at so he does NOT need mine to be lookeing at! DOUBEL FOOEY!

As for the OP, yes, you should study hard for the GMAT’s. I studied for the LSAT’s but did not do to well so I took them over. I did get into to GW, but dad say’s that is because he made a contribution and I was there UNDERGRAD, but he wanted me to go to MIT or Harvard or Stamford, b/c Dad knew peeople there and would have been a LEGACY, but my score’s were way to low and they did NOT let peeople come in for interview’s back then to boost there score’s up. FOOEY b/c I wish I had a HARVARD law degree. I know a guy from Harvard Law, and I think I am alot smarter then he is and even Dad think’s he is not that smart.

This weekend, I have to do 30,000 step’s on my FITBIT dad says b/c I am falleing behind, and dad say’s my behind is falling, meaning my TUCHUS. He is such a comedian, but I know he just wants to get me MARRIED, and I know that men like women with very tight TUCHUSES, like Myrna, dad say’s but I said to him that Myrna is NOT married even with a tight tuchus. He said that is b/c she is to pickey, and if she wanted to be married, there would be any number of Schlub’s standeing in line waiting for her tuchus. Big deal, I told him b/c there are more then a few guy’s who like my tuchus, starteing with Gonzalo (FOOEY) and ending with Willem and Sam, with David and some other doufesses in between. Even guy’s in college were very interested in me when my tuchus was the same as it is now. FOOEY on dad for thinking that the sun rises and set’s on a girls’ tuchus! DOUBEL FOOEY!

This weekend, Myrna and I are goeing to go to the Museum and look at the Dinasour’s. I love the dinasour’s and she say’s there are good lookeing guy’s who are there, so mabye we can meet guy’s who want to MARRY us, tuchuses and all. In any event, I will get my FITBIT step’s in there, even if I do NOT meet my Prince Charmeing! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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he did NOT say anything good about our firm

Here's the latest on the Mason-Lynn romance, as well as the latter's weight gain.  I agree it looks like a pretty dire situation, hurtling quickly toward her, and that's even allowing for the possibility that "chunky" is actually pregnant. 

Ellen :

03/20/2014 at 6:34 pm

This is a good question. When I interviewed MASON, he answered that he needed a job and that all the big firm’s rejected him. I thought that was VERY honest even tho he did NOT say anything good about our firm. I think he got the JOB b/c he had some conection with the manageing partner, but I forget what that was. Right now I know he is happy here b/c he is busy haveing sex with Lynn every night. Since he has a steady girlfreind who is sleepeing with him, he does NOT have to go out to the bars to meet women. I think that Lynn is getting chunky tho, so mabye he will need to go out to the bar’s b/c even if she is sleepeing with him, he may not want sex if she does not take better care of herself. FOOEY on men that just want us for sex. Unfortuneately, Lynn is not educated like me, so all she realy has to offer men is good sex. DOUBEL FOOEY on men who onley look at women for sex.

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even if there wife is gorgeus like Rosa

What did I tell you? Even Rosa cannot stay young, hot and continuously pregnant enough to guarantee her husband will not s'tray. You heard it here first, not even in this post either!

My only comment on the second post, below, is that the name Frank is being re-used. This is a first; usually we have a new name for every new character. I assume this government lawyer is not going to make his way onto Ellen's schedule, because if he does it will be difficult to easily distinguish between him and Frank the accounteant with whom Ellen works. Unless one or both gets a last name...

Ellen :

03/20/2014 at 10:57 am

Hug’s to her, and FOOEY on men who do NOT suport us for life. If ED ever tried to do this with Rosa, I would persnaly represent ROSA to make sure she was taken care of for LIFE! But Ed is crazy about Rosa so this should NEVER happen, tho I have learned NEVER TO SAY NEVER, as men like to have sex with other women even if there wife is gorgeus like Rosa. I saw that Earnie was interested in other women even tho his wife was suposedly also very gorgeus, so you NEVER can tell. Men think thru their sex organ’s so that explain’s that. When we are in the bar, there are alot of guy’s with rings on that are alway’s trying to get us women to go to bed with them. I have learned NOT to fall for cheep line’s b/c I know that these guy’s will NOT be there for the long-term, especialy if you sleep with them. FOOEY!

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Ellen :

03/20/2014 at 10:45 am

I had the same issue! When I was in college, I applied to be an INTERN at a goverment agency. When I went in for the INTERVIEW, the guy asked me if I wanted a cup of coffee. At that point, the ONLEY coffee I liked was ICE COFFEE, so when he came out with 2 hot coffee’s with NO cream, I did NOT like it and spit it back into the cup. He saw me do that and said that that would not be good form if I was in a meeting, so I did NOT get the job. FOOEY b/c I realy wanted that job on my resume but wound up workeing in the cafeteria that semester instead.

Last nite, Myrna and I went to a bar on Second Avenue. She said she needed a breathe of fresh air, so we went out. It was OK, but 3 guy’s kept askeing us for our digits and one guy kept rubbeing up against me and Myrna at the bar. There was pleanty of room so I did NOT understand why he kept rubbeing up against us and asked him what the issue was. He said that we were the cutest girls in the bar and he wanted us to have his children. I knew this was a line b/c I have heard this SOOOO many times before, so I told him we were MARRIED. He figured out we were NOT b/c he said where were our husband’s. He also said we did NOT have ring’s so he knew we were lookeing for guys, so why not him? I said that there are alot of jerk’s in Manhattan, and we wanted real men. He brought his other 2 freinds over and it turn’s out one of them, Frank, is a lawyer for a NYC goverment agency. He said we had alot in common b/c I am a lawyer, but I think he was NOT interested in discussing legal topic’s, but wanted to arrange a date with us. We took their #s, but I do NOT see me calling a goverment lawyer. Benjamin is already on the list and he at least did NOT want sex but these guy’s did.

Margie came into the office today, and she is already showeing! The manageing partner is strutteing around the office b/c he has impregnated Margie and will have his own son. He does NOT know yet, but he want’s a SON. I told him he is very lucky to be MARRIED and haveing a son, so he is happy. YAY!!!!!

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FOOEY she says, stay single! she say’s.

I knew it! Last we knew, I inferred that Lorrie (that's how it has historically been spelled) was in marriage counseling with her high-earning doctor husband. I decided he had been having an affair with the nanny, and I bet I was right about that too. The backstory is that Lorrie was Ellen's shineing example of a gal who didn't stress too much about school, and focused instead on, you know, security of a different kind. But it looks like that path doesn't work either! Now Lorrie is actually in a position to envy Ellen, and no young married mom is safe. 

Including Rosa. 

As for this little plan to distract Sam by making him interested in Myrna: if that was going to happen, it would have already--before he even met Ellen. These two work together, REMEMEMEMBER???? Maybe if one of them switched jobs, a romance would suddenly bloom. But my guess is that regardless, Myrna is too slim and quantitatively competent for Sam's taste. 

Ellen :

03/19/2014 at 3:48 pm

Yes, I also like the suit. It is VERY styleish. Great pick, Kat!!!! My onley concern personally is the PENCIL skirt may be tight on my tuchus this time of year, before I get into my new bikini.

My freind Laurie called me from college last nite. She met another guy and is no longer even liveing with her ex. She told me marrage is NOT all it is suposed to be, b/c she now has to deal with thing’s that her ex use to deal with. FOOEY she says, stay single! she say’s. I told her I need to have children so I need to marry first. She said that it is NOT required any more. With tecknology, you can have kid’s without even having to have a man have sex with you. I told her I knew that, but she said you could pick a man out of a catalogue and concieve at a mutualy agreed place. The guy goe’s into a jar and then they take a turkey bayster and squeeze it into you on your fertile days. I said that is alot better than a sweaty guy huffeing and puffeing on top of you to get done what a turkey bayster does. She agreed and wished she had done the turkey bayster, b/c her ex turned out to be the real turkey after all now, b/c he will NOT suport her or her children or her horses, which are being borded at a horse farm nearby. FOOEY!

Myrna is so sick of that guy from South America–he keep’s makeing a clicking sound with his tongue when she walk’s by. I remember Gonzalo doeing that also. I think it is a way to let a woman know you are interested in them. FOOEY b/c he was onley interested in grabbing my tuchus and my boobie’s not marrying me. He was also in the food industry, tho he was a mater-dee, and this one works on a cafeterial food line. I hope Myrna has better luck then me. She is not taken serious on her job even tho she has an MBA degree and has alot of quanetatieive skill’s I do NOT. FOOEY! Mabye I can get Sam to look at her and stop calling me. YAY!!!

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who is the manageing partner’s MANAGEING PARTNER

Helpful data about MP's family here:

1) His dad in fact did practice with/own this firm, and may retain equity rights even in retirement. This means my unilaterally imposed moniker, all along, was more accurate than we could have known! I have always called the firm Manageing & MANAGEING LLP, and sure enough we know now that it is indeed a father-son thing with (likely) a repetitive name, and nobody else's in the mix whom we have heard of. 

2) MP's Dad is now in his nineties. This provides a potential clue as to MP's own age--a generation apart would put the Junior son around age 60, which is what I had thought. HOWEVER, since MP currently has a much younger (fecund) wife, it's possibel that his Dad did the same thing, marriage-wise, years ago. In that case, MP Senior could have been 60 when MP was born, allowing the son to now be more like early middle-aged. I consider this question open, but again, especially with MP having a nephew in his mid-twenties, I think chances are better that he's old, gross and bald as opposed to just gross and bald. 

Ellen :

03/19/2014 at 11:22 am

Yay! I love Tahari and this jacket! Great pick Kat. I hope the manageing partner will approve this one for me!

As for the OP, I agree with preganon. Waiting can pay off. It took the manageing partner 2 month’s to get me on board even tho he told me I would be hired. He had to get his dad, who is the manageing partner’s MANAGEING PARTNER, to agree, and his dad is old and retired, but still own’s the firm. So I had to tell everyone I was kind of hired, but not until the old guy aproved me. I had to go to his house on LI, where he was sitteing on a bench overlookeing the LI sound. He grilled me about all sort’s of thing’s like bills of attainder and replevin and other thing’s that I did NOT know anything about. In the end, he said that he would go with the manageing partner’s recomendation, even tho I did not know anything important. YAY!

So wait and you should get rewarded. A good law firm like mine is hard to find. I still send the manageing partner’s dad a birthday card — he is over 90 year’s old! YAY!!!!!!

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