Again the confusion of carrots with karats. It seems she takes pain to make sure that in most cases the wrong word is used. Here's just the latest instance of the reverse effect from what we see below.
Grandma Leyeh, remember, has also offered Ellen $50k to get married and pregnant within her specified time window. Thus we can see the ring thrown in as a bonus, though to my knowledge there's no time constraint associated with that component of the deal.
Ellen is so distressed to find out that her best marriage prospect in quite some time pick's his nose that she has written a post with 100% CORRECT SPELLING AND PUNCTUATION, INCLUDING APOSTROPHES. The situation is obviously dire. (But we knew something had to be wrong with Sam, right? Or is Myrna just trying to sabotage because it's getting too deep?)
Evan is a recycled name as well. Initially I had thought there'd been some references to him on LI, but nope: he was a wealthy tech type, bald with bad breathe, who courted Ellen for a few minutes last winter.
Ellen feels the need to impress Sam both with tuchus size and crossword puzzle abilities. I guess either is shorter-term than makeing partner, though of course that's on the MRS to-do list as well. Meanwhile, scroll down for yet another instance of Barshevsky tax advice. This is one area where she does often feel comfortable helping out--though I agree with commenters that it's still surprising to see such diligence.
-----
So now MP is joining the pressure to get married ASAP. But as for the middle paragraph, I actually think Ellen's question is interesting, as she compares the "embarrassment" of alcoholism with cyber-cheating. She may simply be more honest than most in sayeing that having a man at all has to be balanced carefully against all the terrible things he may bring upon her.
Are we confident that Dad actually is on board with the principle she settled on? I've had a feeling that most of his objections to guys since Alan were based on income, not character (lacking as both may be).
Based on what we know, MP should be glad if he's not getting a subpoena based on what's in this report. I'm not sure Ellen will have any luck finding out its contents from Dad, however. Remember how he seemed to manipulate even her tax returns because it was all just too complicated for her?
Dad's resume just keeps getting longer and longer! What hasn't he done?
ELLENWatchers should take note of this weekend gear: baseball hat + aviator's. Assuming the white scrunchie pokes out the back, you can NOT say you don't know what you're looking for on the sidewalks of Manhattan.
So Dad's final report on the workings of Manageing & MANAGEING LLP is now complete? My first thought is, that was fast! I want to know what he billed, to be done so quickly when I expected him to drag out this "consulting" gig for years. Next, of course: what did he recommend? Will MP capitulate? If so, what are the impliceation's for Ellen?
I vote Ellen goes to the Hamton's with Sam and borrows a one-piece from dowdy ol' mom if necessary. Since the tuchus definitely comes from that side of the family.
Recall that Adam is David's rocker roommate, interested in Myrna for a time in fall 2012.
Sam's dietary restrictions just keep piling up. He must have a VERY high-fiber diet, and all that comes with it. I like the direct quote below in P. 3, however. Make's him seem reel!
Thank you for returning to the contributor's circle, eek. You were always gifted.
Once again, Myrna will be called in to facilitate Ellen's rapid weight loss. And I think it's hilarious that Ed is now also trying to get some money out of Sam before he's made it to Date #3 with his sister-in-law. Scareing-off issue aside, I think this speak's to Ed's resemblance to Ellen's father. No wonder the old man approves so heartily.
What well-known bank or fund do Sam and Myrna work for, you think?
Note that the amount MP expects Ellen to bring in from Sam exceeds the amount Leyeh has promised her for getting married and pregnant by a factor of ten. Many conflicting interests are at play here...
The weight loss goal is still 8 lbs, evidently. I wonder if she's continued to gain but just feels comfortable with this number. It always signifies an 8 lb. loss, after all, and that sure sounds like Ellen logick.
Usually men are the alleged grunters. I wonder if this is more on how the women of the office tend to be cold to Ellen due to jealousy of the latter's youth, beauty, cloething allowance, and favor with MP. (4 links total; we have alot of precedent.)
Was it "House of Cards" or "Orange is the NEW Black"? At any rate Sam still sounds like a serious contender. My one question is how he thinks the charm will work is he's calling lady love's food poison. Still it sounds like the next date may involve two people rather than three.
Sam just keeps getting more and more interesting. It has come to my attention that Dad may approve of him all the more based on his veganism, as it might encourage Ellen to cut back on some key tuchus-enhancing foods.
Not much sense here of whether Sam and Myrna's employer is indeed going to become a client for the firm or not, but of course we can be glad that Sam isn't scared away (yet) and Myrna is going to supervise tonight's date as well.
Ellen advises not negotiating a starting salary, instead waiting for the additional money to fall into your lap just as the job did (due to being cute in an elevator). If this doesn't prod even the most skeptical of us to lean in, I don't know what would.
Mulva is choosing her words carefully, but I suspect she thinks Ellen needs to loosen up her mores a bit. The advice may be kind of analogous to Ellen's, translated from work to dating, come to think of it: be willing to give it up, essentially. After all, who are you? I do appreciate that Ellen's being encouraged to make MP butt out, however. Next to be booted from the stage, DAD!
MP needs to chaperone his wife's excursions into retail districts and control as much of her time as possibel while there. I don't know why he hasn't already mandated that she use Long Island nail salons only, preferably housed in office buildings surrounded by laundromats isolated by on-ramps.
On the date that is now tomorrow: I think this early intersection between Sam and MP needs to be noted based on additional info we have, highlighted below. MP is poaching Myrna's employer company via "big player" Sam, and Ellen has a direct interest in his success in that regard. She also evidently wants to at least try dating this Englishman. Thus her romantic and professional fortunes are now both invested in a friendly and mutually approving relationship between MP and Sam. I have long believed that any lasting beau was going to need strong ties to both omnipotent patriarchs in Ellen's life--her boss and, of course, her Dad--and between the facts that he make's a lot of money and apparently can decide how to direct legal business for some financial entity, I'm even more confident that Sam just could be it.
What a classic MP move: appointing himself company on Ellen's first date with Sam, theoretically because he wants a new cleint but also at least a bit in order to oooogle Myrna. I say Ellen gives him the wrong time or restaurant and then says oopsie-daisies a la Joan Harris to Pete Campbell this past season.
Thank's for your observation, WriterKate. She has indeed toned town the caps in some posts of late. Mulva is part of the backup band, if y'all had not noticed already. Grammar per se really has never been the issue, and notice that the spELLEN and whimsical apostrophes are as rampant as ever.
Susie 
Blonde Lawyer 
Brooklyn Paralegal