A repository for institutional knowledge about (presumably) fictional internet personality ELLEN BARSHEVSKY
It doesn't look like I'd be able to meet the criteria established here, but I doubt many other guys would either. Unless Ellen wants to be a spinster, she'd do well to start performing in the sack with these guys, if not me. Ellenwatch, you seem to claim clairvoyance when it comes to Ellen and I still want to be a member of the PEP Club. I am not about to traipse around all over NY City on my own to meet up with her. So help me out, will you? For those of you who can't figure PEP out, the first "P" word is a verb, the middle "E" is for Ellen (tho possessive) and the last "P" word is a noun. So if you can't set me up with her, you need to take the two Pees and figure it out, Ellenwatch. This is not too difficult, because I have been very transparent about my desires for Ellen and me.
Pop Ellen's petootie?
I would add a 7th criterion. Namely, little to no sexual history. I would not want a guy comparing my body parts to past sluts he has had. I am sui generis and worth it.